LIGHTNOVELONLINE CH5.1-Tears.
Two silhouettes walked barefoot in the blood-red, crimson forest, accompanied by Samael's hum reverberating in the air.
"What are you humming to Samael?" Lilith asked, curiousity lingering in her ruby-red pupils.
Samael shifted his gaze towards the little demoness. "It's a song my parents used to sing me," he replied.
"How nice..." Lilith muttered, her visage dimming down.
"How about you? How are your parents?" Samael asked.
Lilith fell into deep silence.
"Grandmother said they went to a place far away to protect me," she answered before storming away.
A slight frown made its way towards Samael's face as he inched closer towards Lilith.
"Is something wrong...?" Samael asked, a tint of worry evident in his tone.
"It's... It's nothing!" Lilith replied as she forced a smile out, failing horribly so.
Samael's frown deepened. Did he perhaps touch on a sensitive topic?
"Are you really okay?" Samael asked once more as he halted his steps, his gaze fixed at Lilith's back.
It felt as though she was so distant, so far out of reach.
Without sparing a glance back, Lilith responded. "I am okay; I'm not lying. Lilith will never be bad."
Samael's eyes narrowed, a smudge of confusion hinting at his eyes.
"Lilith...?" he asked, unsure of what to do next.
Taking a step closer, Lilith suddenly spoke.
"I said I'm fine!" She screamed, startling Samael back.
"What is the problem?" Samael asked.
"Did I do something wrong?" he continued.
"It's nothing," Lilith insisted, her small, pale arms trembling.
"Lilith, look at me," Samael said.
Lilith's hands clenched to a fist. "Let's go; I'm okay. You don't have to worry about anything," she dismissed.
"I won't understand if you don't tell me!" Samael burst, a sense of betrayal lingering in his heart. An emotion he loathes with all his being.
"You won't understand!" Lilith shouted back, further fueling Samael's anger and sadness.
"Then tell me! I'm your friend!" Samael said.
Lilith jerked her head back, revealing to Samael the mess she was in.
Samael's breath hitched, his eyes quivering as he gazed at the tears meandering down Lilith's cheeks.
"Why do you keep asking?! Even if I tell you, it won't matter!" She bellowed.
Samael gritted his teeth. "Why? Why won't it matter?" he asked, his voice shaky.
Lilith shut her mouth tight, refusing to utter a single word as she stormed away. However, Samael's hand swiftly grasped her wrist, stopping her in place.
"Lilith, wait—" Samael's words were cut short as Lilith ripped her arm away, pushing Samael down the ground.
Samael couldn't help but stare at Lilith with shock, his eyes wide along with pain glimmering off of them.
Lilith refused to look at Samael, instead focusing her gaze on the ground.
"Is it because of my song? Is it because I asked you about your parents?" He asked, his tone hungry for answers.
Lilith remained silent, her lustrous black hair hiding her eyes.
"Am I not your friend...?" Samael asked one last time.
Lilith's body trembled as she jerked her head towards Samael.
"YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!" She roared.
Samael recoiled back. Lilith looked so... Angry... In pain.
"Grandmother always says mom and dad left to protect me! But I know it's all a lie!" She said, her sobs leaving hushed trails of echoes in the air.
"The grownups are all the same! They say mother and father had to go away in order to ensure my safety, but Lilith isn't stupid!" She said.
"The other kids told me the truth! That mom and dad left me behind because I was a monster! Because I was unwanted!" She resumed, her figure breaking apart like shattered glass.
Samael felt his heart ache. He never wanted to make Lilith feel this way. He never wanted her to feel so much pain.
"No. They're the ones lying!" Samael answered back.
"Your mom and dad wouldn't have left you because of that. They're the ones that gave life to you, and my mother said that our parents are the ones that feel the most love for us!" Samael retorted.
"Whatever they did, they did for you—to give you a life without danger!" Samael said.
However, Lilith's rage was only further strengthened.
"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?!" She exploded.
"UNLIKE YOU, MY MOM AND DAD LEFT ME! ABANDONED ME!" She said.
"YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU HAVE A FAMILY WAITING FOR YOU!" She roared.
"YOU'RE ALL THE SAME; SAMAEL IS A LIAR!" She uttered.
Samael felt his hearing go deaf. He couldn't help but grasp his chest; a sharp stabbing pain torturing his heart.
How could Lilith say that?
Samael's gaze fell down.
That's right. He never really told her.
His past.
His pain.
All the things he went through.
all the things he lost.
After all, why would he?
It wasn't her fault, but it was painful. It is way too painful to ignore.
She was his only friend. The only family he has left. Yet her words were the most painful.
Samael slowly shifted his gaze toward Lilith.
Staring at Samael, the little demoness couldn't help but feel her heart drop at how much pain Samael's gaze exuded. How much longing and sadness his pupils showed.
Lilith's hearts went to a halt as a single tear slithered down Samael's cheeks as he spoke.
"How I wish that were true."
"How I wish I still had a family waiting for me in a place I could call home. After all, who wouldn't want that?"
Lilith felt her heart shatter into pieces. She felt the world stop along with the realization...
Samael was like her. Perhaps worst.
She still had a grandmother. A person she can call family. A person who cares for her. But Samael...
Samael was all alone.
Lilith felt the urge to hurt herself. To apologize for all the things she said. But after all she said, after all she did, how can she?
So she ran.
Lowering her gaze, Lilith sprinted away, shame devouring her heart. Her anger for herself taking root deep within her heart.
Samael hastily rose to his feet as he reached out for Lilith, but to no avail.
"Lilith..." Samael muttered under his breath, yet his hand hanged in the air.
The look of pain Lilith showed played like a broken reminder in his head. Torturing him endlessly.
He wanted to run after her. To console her. To apologize. But he was the cause of her outburst.
He was the cause of all this mess.
He hurt her.
Samael lowered his arm as he slumped down, leaning off a tree as he stared at the ground mindlessly.
Like always, everyone around him was hurt.
***
As time went on, the sun slowly set off the horizon, painting the sky dark as the light slowly faded away.
Samael wanted to give Lilith space. He wanted to give her time to heal. However, his worry slowly ate through him.
Fear slowly took hold of his thoughts.
What if Lilith were to encounter a monster?
What if she loses her way?
What if something bad happens to her?
He won't be able to forgive himself.
Swallowing the shame and guilt he felt, Samael slowly trailed Lilith into the forest. Each step he took felt heavier than the last.
His heart pounded hard in his chest, emotions wreaking havoc in him.
Eventually, Samael finally smelled that familiar scent of flowers. However, he could also feel the sadness brewing in the air.
Samael's grip tightened, his knuckles morphing pale.
Gathering his courage, Samael spoke, breaking the silence engulfing the forest.
"Lilith."
Samael paused for a brief moment, carefully measuring his next words.
"Earlier, I just wanted to say..." Samael took a sharp breath.
"I'm sorry." He apologized.
"I'm sorry for saying all those things and for shouting at you," Samael said.
"I know you're angry. I understand you're in pain. But I want you to understand..." Samael halted his words.
"Like what you said to me, you're not a monster. You will never be a monster for feeling pain. Never," Samael clarified.
"Don't listen to what others say. They don't know you or what you went through. They don't know how kind you are or how beautiful and caring you can be," Samael resumed.
"To me, you'll always be Lilith." Samael fell silent, waiting for any response. Yet, none came.
With a sigh, Samael spoke for the last time. "You can come back anytime; I'll be waiting for you... Always. But please be careful."
With that, Samael decided to go back when he heard a familiar voice. One so sweet and melodic call out to him with a tone containing a hundred emotions.
"Samael...!" Lilith said, her arms reaching out for him.
Without hesitation, Samael ran towards the little demoness sitting in the middle of the forest. Tears riddled her cheeks, and her eyes flushed red under hours of nonstop crying.
Samael felt his heart ache in pain. He knew he had to atone for his sins, but Lilith needed him now more than ever.
Samael lunged forward, enveloping Lilith in his protective, loving embrace.
Samael held the little demon's head, tightly clinging to her as he muttered repeatedly. "I'm sorry..."
Lilith tightly held Samael's clothes, her wings shrouding the boy as she spoke with a tone full of regret. Tears streamed down her chin.
"I'm sorry, Samael! I didn't know! I didn't mean what I said!" She said.
"Please don't hate me. Don't leave me..." She begged in a hushed tone, her voice coarse under all the crying she underwent.
Samael tightened his embrace even further, his hand caressing Lilith's hair.
"Hush... Hush... Don't cry anymore. I'm here. I will never leave you behind." Samael consoled her.
The little demoness kept crying for minutes. Samael did his best to console her and make her feel safe.
His embrace not faltering for even a single moment.
At that moment, he knew that he would do everything in his power just to see her bright smile once more. To witness her laugh cheerfully once again.
Slowly, Lilith's sobs began to ceast. The two were left with nothing but the unfaltering silence engulfing the crimson forest and the heat of their bodies.
Samael couldn't help but sigh in relief. Lilith had finally stopped crying. However, he felt her shift under his touch.
"...Samael," Lilith called out.
Samael remained silent for a few moments before replying. "Don't say anything; I understand."
Lilith's grip tightened as she snuggled closer. Sensing this, a small smile made its way to Samael's visage.
"Can you promise me one thing?" Samael asked.
Lilith's gaze shifted upwards, meeting Samael eye-to-eye.
"Can you promise that you will never keep anything from me as I will to you?" Samael asked.
Lilith's ruby-red eyes blinked once as she gave a small nod.
"I promise," she softly said before burying her face in Samael's chest.
Like that, their bond grew stronger once more, for they knew that in this cruel world, they still had each other.
As the night went on, the two slowly fell in the melodic hum of sleep.
...