Vigor Mortis

It always feels nice to do a good deed.

I walk away from the storage shed with a spring in my step. I admit to being a bit leery to let Lark go, but I'll trust my instincts on the matter. Ultimately, isn't our job as hunters to protect people from monsters by any means necessary, not specifically by just killing them? That kid isn't going to bite another person. No way, no how.

Frankly, she's more human than I am now.

Maybe not physically, sure, but she is where it counts. That August guy… I was genuinely surprised to feel him die. Once Penelope finally healed me and I chased after Lark, I couldn't help but pause and wait a bit when I sensed their souls. August was not a fighter, not any sort of warrior, and yet he had one of the brightest souls I've ever felt. It reminded me so much of Lyn, his warmth and his love. It was obvious how much they cared about each other. When he died… I don't know, it just didn't feel right to pocket him like I do most souls. He deserved more than that. He deserved a conversation.

I am extremely frustrated with his decision, but never let it be said that I'm not fair to those that are mine. Lark's fragmented shell of a soul just needed one more push to be complete, and he wanted to be a part of that. Well, more a part of that. And now it's done. A hollow human soul, completely surrounding the void of her nature. I wonder what that means, what it will do. But unfortunately, I can't stick around to find out because I need to convince everyone else that she’s fucking dead.

"Vita!"

Ah, speak of the teammate. Orville dashes into view, waving an arm at me. He feels a bit frazzled.

"Vita, please stop running off!" he pants.

"It's not my fault you guys are all slow," I protest, holding up Lark's severed ear. "Job's done."

Surprise, confusion. Disappointment? Guilt? Orville's emotions are strange.

"Really? On your own? You should've at least let us back you up, Vita. What did you do with the rest of the body?"

"I mean, I didn't raise it if that's what you're asking."

"What? No, I mean what happened to it?"

"I… killed it?" I hedge.

He sighs, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, nevermind, I'm sure someone will find it. It's definitely dead?"

"The monster is no more," I assure him. "That thing won't hurt anyone ever again."

"All right, well, good I guess," he huffs, flicking his fingers a bit before firing a piercing whistle of a wind spell up into the sky. Our all-clear signal. "You should have still waited for the rest of us. We're a team, aren't we?"

"I mean, yeah, but you guys couldn't keep up," I point out. "And I had it, so it's fine."

A pause. He's nervous, worried, uncertain. My eye vaguely recognizes the motion of him sucking on the inside of his lip through my soul sight, his physical form mostly a silhouette.

"Penelope says you broke your own legs and nearly bled to death," Orville says slowly.

I scoff.

"I wasn't going to bleed to death," I argue.

When the bite happened, I wrapped the outside of my leg in tendrils. My blood is still part of me, so they held it all inside.

Orville sighs.

"Penelope told me that you’d probably say something like that, and that if you did I'm to inform you that you’re a, quote, ‘useless idiot that knows less about biology than she does about table manners.’ End quote.”

I blink. Huh.

“You do a pretty good Penelope impression," I admit.

“Thanks, I think. Anyway, you can still die of blood loss even if all of your blood is still inside your body. You had a severed artery. Apparently, whatever you were doing was just pooling all the blood like a giant bruise. You were still going to pass out eventually."

“Huh,” I manage. I guess I'm not as clever as I thought.

"Speaking of," Orville continues, "since you ran off again, you wouldn't happen to have any other injuries, would you?"

I shrug.

"Vita, look at me," Orville says firmly.

"I am looking at you," I insist, a bit confused.

"No, you aren't. You're looking at... a rock or something, I don't know. Vita, are you okay?"

What is he... oh, right. I lift my head and meet his physical eyes with my own. I take a deep breath, trying to focus. Right. Physical pain. I pick up and move my leg around a little, wincing as I feel bone scrape bone.

"Yeah, I might have cracked my legs a little maybe," I admit sheepishly. "I'm still getting a handle on this, but I'm okay! I only got bit a few times, and only once anywhere important."

Getting chomped on the tentacles hurt like hell, but those will regrow just fine. Only Lark's bite on my leg tore anything out of important parts of my soul, and I'm treating that wound already, breaking shards off of my usual spot and dusting them so my soul can recover the places that matter more quickly. My soul's power flows so thickly through my body now that the vrothizo bite damaged me much more than it would a normal person, but it was still just one bite. I'll be fine.

Orville, however, doesn't seem particularly mollified. He rushes over, holding his arms out like he's about to hug me. I step back. Betrayer! I could always count on Orville to be the least touchy member of the team! I used to be able to count on Penelope, but now she's hugging me too!

...I guess it's fine in her case, though. Mostly.

"I am carrying you back to Penelope," Orville insists, his tone brokering no argument.

"What!?" I argue anyway, "I'm fine, I just said so!"

He gives me a weird look—oh hey, I'm still looking at his face, go me—and tries to figure out how to convince me.

"Vita," he eventually starts, "I have been a deadweight all trip. I got knocked out immediately in the only forest fight that mattered, and I only managed to get one shot at our target which she just fucking backhanded out of the sky. At least let me make Penelope's job easier by stopping you from messing up your legs more than they already are."

I scowl, an expression that I stick and keep firmly on my face as my teammate turns around and coaxes me into a piggyback ride. Indignantly, I climb on and he carries me halfway across the city. Penelope, Orville, and Norah are all there, standing near a guard tower that we agreed upon as our rendezvous point.

"Aw, hey you two!" Norah says, waving. "You look cute together."

Penelope's face scrunches together in irritation. I blink, not expecting to see Norah so… cheerful. I thought she was still mad at me.

"I am way too heavily armed to be cute," I protest. "Also, my legs are probably broken."

"Did you… is she dead?" Bently asks hesitantly.

"Yeah, I got her. Took proof and some souvenirs, too!" I wave the severed ear around, to Norah and Bently's obvious discomfort.

"Stupid. Reckless. Foolish,” Penelope chides angrily, approaching us. “Orville, did she try to act like her injuries were no big deal?"

"Yeah, I told her what you said," he grunts.

Penelope nods, a bit of anger bubbling up in her. Worry, fear... something else I don't really want to think about.

"All right, put her down, I'll fix her again," she snaps.

Orville does as instructed, squatting so he can plop my butt onto the ground. Penelope approaches as she usually does, pulling mana into her soul in order to start casting a spell… and then she slaps me in the face.

I blink, stunned.

"Didn't see that coming, did you?" Penelope sneers. "Couldn't read my intent?"

"Why would I expect someone worried about me to slap me?" I grumble back. Is she already figuring out ways to fool me? No, that’s a supid question, of course she is.

"You are not invincible, you insufferable, arrogant, thing," she hisses, actually starting to cast the healing spell this time. "Whatever you're doing to detach yourself from pain, stop. You need to come back and pay attention to the fucking physical, or sooner rather than later I won't catch up to you fast enough to save your foolish hide again. Do you understand?"

I scowl, tempted to smack her back but… I don't actually want to hurt her. Geez, this is a blast from the past. I figured we were done with the slapping. Still, she's probably got a point.

"Sorry," I manage to force myself to say. "I just… ever since the Nawra, ever since I could just step back and not worry about this stupid body I’ve wanted to go back to that. It feels like I’m in a fucking cage, like this nagging feeling that I'm not supposed to be in here anyway. I'm trapped in this... this gross meat sack that's just too weak and too rigid to do anything. But now I’m suddenly so full of energy! I want to use it. It’s... I don't know. A leap forward? A glimpse into whatever I'm supposed to be? I hate holding back, Penelope. It feels like hiding from the truth and it hurts."

Penelope lets out an indignant huff of air.

"The only person that gets to decide what you're supposed to be is you." A pause. "And to a lesser extent me, since I own you."

The rest of our team immediately gets uncomfortable, but I just roll my eyes.

"My point is," Penelope continues, "whatever it is you're seeking is not set in stone, and you aren't going to get whatever it is if you gallivant off and get yourself killed! Be patient! Think! You can bloody well work through your identity crisis without breaking your fucking legs! Is that so much to ask?"

I scowl.

"Fine. I get your point," I grumble. "You were much less naggy before you got a crush on me. At least Orville's never been weird about it."

Silence. Then Norah wheezes like she suddenly can’t breathe and I become surrounded by emotional chaos. Embarrassment, fury, despair, manic joy… Bently stares with sad puppy-dog eyes at Orville, who glances between Penelope and I in mounting horror as Penelope starts turning so red I'm worried her entire head will turn into a bruise.

"Fine!" Penelope all but shrieks. "Fine, I'm done! Go get yourself killed, tear your legs to shreds, I don't care!"

She gets up and starts walking away towards the forest.

"I think my legs are still broken!" I call out to her.

"Then get someone to carry you!" Penelope snaps back.

"Holy shit, I can't believe you just said that!" Norah wheezes, leaning down to lift me up by the armpits. I yelp a little as she puts me up on her shoulders. Fuck, she's so tall, how does she live like this?

"It's just true," I grumble.

"I know, I know," Norah laughs. "It just really hits home how... Vita you are. You know? You've been even more Vita than usual lately."

I wrinkle my nose.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"No, no!" Norah insists, starting to walk after Penelope. "Just… the way you think differently from other people, it feels like that's been getting more prominent. I don't know, it is what it is. There's bad parts maybe, but there's good parts too."

"Maybe I just don't want to put in as much effort to pretend to be something I'm not anymore," I answer, shrugging. "Honestly, I haven't really noticed. It just feels natural to me."

Norah nods slowly.

"I've been thinking about all that, you know?" she says. "About how Penelope thinks you're a human experiment. About… I don't know, I guess all the stuff you just said about feeling trapped and wanting to be yourself and stuff. Some bastard shoved a talent in you that you never asked for. That's not fair, that's not your fault."

"Well, I think it might be a little more complicated than that," I say. "My soul is all kinds of weird. But, um, are we still friends?"

"Of course we are, Vita," Norah insists, and I know she means it. "I don't think I can agree with everything I'm afraid you might be doing, but... Bently is right. You're not a bad person. You're our Vita."

"Please stop injuring yourself, though," Bently chimes in.

"How long have you known?" Orville mutters quietly at me.

"Known what?" I ask him.

"How long have you known he's had a crush on you, Vita?" Norah translates for me, suppressing another chuckle.

"Oh. I don't know," I shrug. "Like a month I guess? It's okay Orville, I don't really care."

Unfortunately that just makes him feel worse for some reason, and Norah starts hooting with laughter again. Bently gives Orville a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. I look around at everyone with confusion.

"I… sorry?" I hedge.

"No, no!" Norah chokes between howls of laughter. "You're fine, Vita! Go ahead and let him down easy!"

…And then she starts laughing harder. Well, I guess that's okay. It seems like we've made up, which is really good! I was worried. Norah is a really important friend. We've fought together, saved each other, and helped each other in a lot of places. I really don't want animancy to push the team apart.

We start our journey back to Skyhope. It takes a day for Penelope to be willing to heal my legs, and another day for her to talk to anyone without biting their head off. Apparently, publicly announcing other people's crushes is a social no-no. I will do my best to remember that, I guess.

Still, my body feels fresher and better, more my own. My team is being less weird about it, even asking me stuff about how my abilities work with genuine interest. They're talking to the Revenants more, with even Norah treating them like people. I'm happy. The trip home is a good one.

On the last night of our journey before returning to Skyhope, I wake up in horror to the feeling of Alan being shattered into innumerable pieces, his soul destroyed forever as Norah and Bently stomp his bones to dust.