Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms

“I think runecarving will be a good hobby for you,” Joan said. “It’s all about patience, and deliberate, thoughtful action. Everything about carving a rune is centered on ‘order’. Literally.”

Alex nodded along. That was one of the few things she knew about carving runes. Everything started from a single line, the top-to-bottom carved line meaning “order”. From there, every line that expanded outwards expanded on the complexity of the concept, and every line had to be carved very precisely in very specific ways. Most of its practitioners described it as almost meditative, in a way.

“At worst, I suppose it’ll be a good way to keep myself occupied,” Alex said. “When do we start?”

“Well, all my stuff was back in my apartment that I got evicted from,” Joan said. “We’re trying not to bother Vell, and Isabel, is, well…”

Joan cleared her throat. That required no elaboration.

“Luckily, I know where to find everything we need,” Joan said. “My old stomping grounds.”

Joan stepped forward and threw open the doors to the runecarving labs. A few small clouds of granite dust were swept up by her dramatic entrance. Apparently the cleaning bots were under maintenance. She ignored the mess and walked over to her old workstation, which had now been taken over by someone else. She felt a tinge of melancholy, and pushed it down.

“Alright, so obviously we can’t just get in here and start grabbing shit,” Joan said. “Luckily I know the gal in charge. We’ll see if she has any spares.”

Joan kept walking right through the lab and into the portion of the building that connected to the professors office. She stopped and turned back to Alex right as they reached the door to Professor Nguyen’s lair. It was identical to every other door in the building, but it had been steeped in Nguyen’s aura for so many years that the plain oak door was indistinguishable from the gates of hell.

“Okay, so, fair warning, this interaction is going to be part of the learning experience,” Joan said. “I’ve never met anyone whose ego could survive contact with Professor Nguyen. I’ll do the talking, you just stay in the background and try not to look too deeply into her eyes.”

“Don’t look at her eyes? What, is she a gorgon?”

“No, she’s just very judgmental,” Joan said. “Give it a second, you’ll see.”

Joan knocked on the door and braced herself. To her surprise, the door clicked unlocked and drifted open with no human intervention. Joan took that as tacit approval to enter, and pushed the door open further.

The office looked just like Joan remembered it, right down to that colorful elephant Vell was obsessed with for some reason, but the woman inhabiting it did not. She seemed to shrunk in the past few years, and acquired many new wrinkles in the process. Though it took slightly longer for her to raise her head, Nguyen’s trademark glare was still as strong as ever once it had turned fully in Joan’s direction. She almost started to sweat, and she could feel Alex starting to tremble behind her.

“Ms. Marsh,” Nguyen said. The cold glare stayed fully leveled at Joan, ordering her to justify her presence in this space. Joan could not help but obey.

“Hi, Professor, long time no see,” Joan said.

“Due to your expulsion, yes,” Professor Nguyen said.

“Under false prete- doesn’t matter,” Joan said. Thanks to Quenay’s confession, the whole world knew Joan hadn’t actually fried the old principal’s brain back in first year, but that wasn’t the point of this conversation. “I was wondering if we could make use of the runecarving labs, and some spare materials, to help Alex here with some academic development.”

The mention of her name briefly caused Nguyen’s attention to shift to Alex, which she regretted. The seconds-long stare sent a shiver down Alex’s spine.

“Ms. Gray Hawk, in so far as I am aware, you are not counted among my students,” Nguyen said. “And I have received none of the paperwork which would indicate that arrangement is changing. What interest do you have in runecarving?”

It took Alex a few more seconds to recover from the Nguyen glare enough to speak.

“I need to learn patience, discipline, and, uh, mindfulness, I guess,” Alex said. “This could be a good way to learn all that.”

“I see,” Nguyen said. “Request denied. If you seek personal development, consider professional therapy. My already limited resources are not to be spent on personal matters.”

“Oh.”

“Professor, I understand if you have an issue with me,” Joan said. “But Alex-”

“I do not have an issue with either of you, Ms. Marsh,” Professor Nguyen said. “You are the issues. Since the beginning of your time here, both of you have occupied the time and resources of the school itself, and of your fellow students, to an inexcusable degree. My focus is on building up my students, not lifting you two out of the holes you have dug for yourselves. Have I made myself clear?”

The stunned silence from both Joan and Alex was her only answer.

“I will take that as a yes,” Professor Nguyen said. “Now, if you would please leave, I would like to return to work.”

She turned her piercing gaze away, and returned to work. Alex regained her senses, and her ego, in time to protest.

“But I need-”

Without looking up from her papers, Professor Nguyen glanced up at Alex and narrowed her eyes. Somehow the side-eye version of the glare was even worse, and Alex took a reflexive step away from the overwhelming scrutiny. Joan grabbed her and pulled her even further back.

“I understand,” Joan said. “Sorry, Professor.”

Nguyen nodded wordlessly towards the door, and Joan pulled a still-stunned Alex out of the room and back into the hall. The door slamming shut behind her broke Alex’s line of sight with Nguyen, and that allowed her to recover her senses. She stared at the ordinary yet ominous door.

“Why?”

“She does have a point,” Joan sighed. “She needs to help her students, and we both have a history of...not being helpful.”

“But we’re trying,” Alex said. “And you, you’ve been at this for years, how does she not know that?”

“I think she does know,” Joan said. “She just doesn’t care. I get it. Nobody owes me anything just because I’ve said sorry a few times and-”

“Then what’s the fucking point, Joan?” Alex snapped. “I do all of this horseshit, change everything about myself, spend the rest of my life trying to be something else, and what? People will still hate me?”

“Maybe,” Joan said. “But being a good person isn’t something you do so people will like you.”

“That’s literally the only reason I’m doing this!”

“Well that’s not- I mean, some people are going to like you for it,” Joan said. “Freddy, for sure, and like, Vell, Kim, the other guys, they’ll all like you better, they love good guys! They like ‘em so much they’ll make friends with bad guys on the off chance they turn into good guys later! Like me!”

Somehow that rousing speech failed to convince Alex. She stormed off, and Joan only chased her for a few steps. She was out of her element to begin with. It was time to call in the big guns.

While the weather around the island was always sunny and warm thanks to magical climate controls, Alex could see storms in the distance. The waves crashed against the shore more forcefully than usual as thunder crashed on the distant horizon. The churning tide was loud, but not loud enough to muffle the sound of mechanical servos grinding from behind Alex.

“I don’t want a lecture right now, Kim.”

“I’m not the lecturing type. And I’m not Kim.”

Someone jumped over the back of the bench and slid into the seat in a single stylish motion. Alex was surprised by how fast they moved, and by the fact the person doing that moving was Helena. She had swapped out her crutches for some kind of high-tech brace that went up her legs and lower back, then branched towards the arms. Helena gave Alex a moment to admire the tech and then flexed her newly-mobile legs, showing off a Kraid-tech logo emblazoned on one of the knee joints.

“Nice, right?” Helena said. “Now that I don’t have to play the part of the pitiful cripple anymore, I figured it was time for an upgrade.”

Alex examined the mechanical braces, and Helena’s new posture. She was more mobile, certainly, but there was a stiffness to her motions that betrayed an underlying unease. She was moving more freely, but that mobility came at the cost of discomfort, if not outright pain. Alex wondered why Helena would value something as petty as walking faster over her own wellbeing.

“Your sister is looking for you, you know,” Alex said.

“I could not possibly care less,” Helena said. “If I wanted to hear someone spout Vell Harlan’s nonsense, I’d just go to Vell Harlan, not the bitch trying to imitate him.”

Alex could not help but note the bitterness. There was something more to that, and even she could tell. She doubted Helena would elaborate, however, and Alex was not nearly socially smart enough to dig into the matter herself.

“So why are you here, Helena?”

“Well, you know, I was thinking to myself, we were kind of pushed into a rivalry by Vell’s plan, weren’t we?” Helena explained. “I thought maybe, in different circumstances, we might have been friends.”

Helena reached out and gave Alex a pat on the shoulder. The braces around her elbow whirred loudly every time she moved.

“But then I remembered, no, you’re actually just a stupid, awful person and I hate you,” Helena continued. “So I came here to laugh at how miserable you are.”

Alex rolled her eyes.

“Well, at least with you around, I’m only the third worst person on campus,” Alex said.

“Third? Who’s- oh, right, Orn.”

“Yeah, him.”

“You know, that centaur is a perfect example of how idiotic what you’re up to is,” Helena said. “Think about it. Vell Harlan took it on himself to make this campus accessible for non-humans, and what does he get in return? Nothing except a nuisance out to make his life miserable at every turn.”

Helena shifted posture and crossed her legs, since she now had the freedom to do so. One of her hipbones made a popping noise as she did so.

“And Isabel? She’s in his ‘study’ group, contributing nothing while benefiting from his intelligence, like a parasite,” Helena continued. “And don’t even get me started on my sister. All that effort just to turn her into an ineffective coward.”

Alex once again noted the intense bitterness in Helena’s voice. The anger left her voice as quickly as it had come, and Helena resumed her mocking tone.

“I mean, god, you’ve never been likable, but at least you’ve been effective. Good at magic, at least,” Helena said. “Now you’re just unlikable and useless.”

Helena turned, leaned towards Alex, and looked her dead in the eyes.

“Being ‘good’ is a waste of time.”

Realization struck Alex so hard there was almost a ‘ding’ as the lightbulb in her head turned on.

“You’re right,” Alex said. She stood up and grabbed her bag. “Being good is a waste of time!”

“Why do you seem excited about that?” Helena said.

“Because now I know how to be good,” Alex said. “I’m going to go waste my time!”

Alex ran off, leaving a very confused Helena behind.

“She seemed a little demoralized,” Joan said. “I think what, two days or so? Then we start again.”

“Yeah. Maybe a quick check-in, just to see how she’s doing, and so she knows she’s not alone,” Vell agreed. Joan had come running straight to him as things had gone off the rails, and they had now spent the better part of an hour strategizing along with Skye, “Maybe we invite Freddy and let the two of them hang out in a group sett- one second.”

Vell’s phone started to ring, and he noticed, with increasing concern, that the call was coming from Isabel.

“Isabel, hi, what’s up,” Vell said.

“Hi, Vell, have you seen that Alex chick lately?”

“No, why, what’s happening?”

“Well, earlier, before she got aggro for no reason, I was telling her about my mana problems,” Isabel said. “And now somebody dumped like a dozen charged mana batteries in front of my door.”

“Huh.”

“Is there someone I can take these to to check if they’re gonna explode, or they’re cursed, or something?”

“Yeah, I know a guy, I’ll text you his number.”

Vell hung up the call and texted Isabel the number for a non-Alex magic expert.

“So, I think Alex is ‘apologizing’ in a weird way,” Vell explained. “She just dumped a bunch of batteries outside Isabel’s door.”

“Well, that’s...odd,” Skye said. “But, helpful, I guess?”

“She might want to write a note next ti-”

A frantic knock at the door cut Joan off mid-sentence. Vell pursed his lips and opened the door to find exactly what he expected: Alex.

“Hey, Alex, you’re- you’re dusty,” Vell noted. She had a visible layer of gray dust on her sleeves and shoes. “Why are you dusty?”

“I just cleaned the runecarving lab,” Alex said.

“And why did you do that?”

“Because it was a waste of time! Let me explain,” Alex said. “I was talking to- oh yeah, Joan, I was talking to your sister, I think she’s really mad that Vell made you nice? I don’t get it, maybe you can figure it out.”

“Thanks,” Joan said. She didn’t know how else to respond. That was a lot to take in as a random aside.

“Anyway, I was talking to her and she told me that being good is a waste of time, and she was just being an asshole I think, but she had a point,” Alex said. “There are lots of little ‘wastes of time’ that are actually really helpful. Cleaning, or getting supplies, or stuff like that. So I thought maybe since I’m not good at talking to people yet, maybe I can focus on those little ‘wastes of time’?”

“That...makes sense,” Vell admitted.

“So I made mana batteries for Isabel, and I cleaned the rune labs for Professor Nguyen, and I didn’t want to do anything nice for Orn because he sucks-”

“Fair.”

“So instead I made you guys cookies to thank you for helping me,” Alex said. She reached into her bag and pulled out a small plastic container stacked with cookies. “Everyone likes cookies, right?”

“Everyone does like cookies,” Skye said, as she took the container of cookies.

“Oh, good,” Alex said. “Is this right? Am I doing it right?”

“It’s a good start,” Vell said. “Just, maybe in the future, ask people if they need help, or want something, don’t just show up with a bunch of batteries or cookies.”

“Good point. I...I’m rude to Samson a lot,” Alex said. “I’m going to go ask Samson if he needs anything!”

The door slammed behind Alex as she bolted off towards her next good deed, leaving her three guides of goodness behind.

“Well. That’s something, I guess,” Vell said.

“It’s a little odd,” Skye said. “But her heart’s in the right place.”

She cracked open the container of cookies and grabbed one to take a bite of it. She immediately cringed.

“What?” Joan said. “Was this a trick? Are they poisoned?”

“No, they’re just really bad cookies,” Skye said, as she choked down her single bite. Vell nodded.

“We’ll add baking to the list of stuff she’s got to learn.”