Thousand-Yard Stare

September 23
Amari High School, Aoyama-Itchome, Tokyo

Classes had just started, and yet I was already in trouble, I was locked in the teacher's room, and next to me was Xi'an talking to me, it seemed that today she was talking to me like the class teacher. At first, I thought it might be about my grades, which weren't exactly good, but I guess that should be enough to keep me out of trouble, but then I realized it was something worse.

"You want me to go out with Tetsuo Keisuke!?"
"I'm not going out with a man, that's not going to happen!"
"You're dreaming beyond of the realm of imagination with that."

"Wait, listen to me, I'm not asking you to be his girlfriend or anything like that."
"...."
"I'm just asking you to get close to him."
"Just see if everything is okay in his life"
"......"
"Keisuke lost his mother a week ago."
"...."
"Domestic violence, his father is facing charges"
."..."
"It seems that for the past year, he has been in the middle of one tragedy after another."
"I have been told his personality has changed a lot compared to before"
"...."
"It's fucked up with that kid."
"I just want to make sure he gets better."

"Okay, this just got problematic."
"But he needs professional help, not me."

"And that's what we're doing, you'll just be supporting us."
"...."
"Besides, you're partly responsible, too."
"If only you hadn't fired your gun prematurely."

"....."
"I know...."
"...."
"Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't tried to be smart that day."

"You just did what had to be done."
"Thanks to you 29 students were rescued alive, including Keisuke himself."

"...."
"Ah, ok, I'll see what I can do,"
"But don't expect too much either, I'm really bad at these things."

When we returned to class, the atmosphere seemed different. Now that Xi'an had asked me to pay more attention to Keisuke, I couldn't help but notice little details that had escaped me before. I watched his gestures, his expressions, the way he interacted with others. At first glance, he looked like a normal young man, Keisuke was someone normal, average height, average face, average body, but his gaze was different, the thousand-yard stare.

That was a look I knew quite well, throughout my life, I had seen hundreds of soldiers with that look, I myself had it quite a lot too. A look distant and far away from everything and everyone, maybe you could be talking to him, or rather his answering machine, because the person inside was simply blank. Only people who had seen the true cruelty of the world had it, the same people who doubted whether to continue, or simply stop fighting and let themselves be left forever. He sat there, seemingly lost in a world of his own, as if the weight of the universe rested on his shoulders, his gaze fixed firmly on a single point, dead center, at the same time he was not paying attention to anything in particular.

That boy had nothing to live for another day.

When the next break came I tried to talk to a couple of my classmates to see what information I could get about Keisuke. The first one I asked was Yasunobu, one of the two idiots I usually play video games with, he told me that he was normal and cheerful during class, but that he didn't stay at school much. Takehide, the other idiot, mentioned that they had both been in the same group since preschool, mentioning that since then their family problems were already known. Josuke, the hall's strong man, was not much help as he said he knew him well. I doubt Tamamo knows any more than I do and Haru will no doubt be a huge nuisance so he preferred not to ask him any questions, which left me with few options.

But a little more information came to light unexpectedly when at one point I was asked to help in the library to arrange several books after class. One of my classmates was there talking to someone else about the same topic, so I just paid attention. Nagato Yoko was the shy girl in the class, it seems that she usually doesn't like to talk, but in this case, even she was worried about him since she had been friends with Utagawa, Keisuke's girlfriend, so she was no doubt saddened by her classmate's situation. Since her death in the kidnapping at the Ueno dam, the boy has been obsessed with his girlfriend's things, even confronting Sakura for her using the desk that belonged to his girlfriend, even though she did not know anything about it. The same one revealed that the boy right now was living alone in his house, it seemed to be that his father would go to prison almost for granted, he was responsible for the death of his mother, Keisuke saw everything, even testified against him, so his family situation can be considered "finished".

The situation seemed to be really bad, so I thought it would be best to act quickly to try to help him not to do something stupid. So when the classes ended I sent Tama to accompany Haru back, while I was looking for an excuse, luckily Yasunobu and Takehide were encouraged to help me and we agreed to go to the arcade with Keisuke. The arcade was quite fun because it had a lot of different games, from a Claw machine with several prizes to a mini baseball field to practice batting. We bought some game tokens and began playing various games, from classic arcade shooters to racing simulators. At first, Keisuke's participation was minimal, and his focus remained distant.

Their discussion on how to conquer became agitated, to the point that both came to me to mediate, since it was a girl they asked me which of their methods seemed to me to be more effective, needless to say in reality, I was not the best person to talk about it, trying to avoid the topic to become even more uncomfortable I made the excuse that I had to go to the bathroom. When I came back I found Yasunobu and Takehide still locked in discussion, while Keisuke was checking his phone. I tried to change the subject by mentioning that I was interested in trying a fighting game at the arcade, we agreed to go after we finished eating. Although Keisuke, showing for the first time that day a sign of friendship, invited me to a drink he had bought while I was in the bathroom. The very act had set off an alarm inside me, it could be called "experience in the trade", it was usually at times like this that I had once or twice poisoned someone, wanting to believe Keisuke that this was a real gesture of friendship I played along, but with the evil in my head I tried to take precautions.

I took the glass and took a sip, not much, just enough to put it under my tongue, I held it in my mouth, the taste was strange, I had had thousands of sodas before, I wasn't going to lie that I liked them, I liked them enough to know that something was wrong. Not wanting to risk it, I threw it away as soon as I pretended to eat some more. Had he really tried to do something like that? Worried about the truth I thought about pushing him and told him to drink some of the drink he invited me to, he responded by saying that he could not because it was an indirect kiss, I simply replied that he was a foreigner, that it had no meaning for me, that it was something normal. But he kept insisting not to drink.

I still wanted to believe nothing wrong, simply believing in my paranoia because of my bad experiences throughout my life, but I couldn't ignore them either. I decided to just play it safe and try to believe that it was just me that was the problem and that he was genuinely trying to be nice. So I pretended that I was feeling a little bad and wanted to go home, nothing out of the ordinary, typical girlie excuse. The three men offered to accompany me at least to the train station, but being frank with them I told them that I felt better if no one followed me in general, so I took my things and left the arcade, but I didn't take the way home, in fact, I went to the opposite side directly.

I didn't know if I was being followed, I didn't want to raise suspicions if I started acting too weird, plus it wasn't like Keisuke was really a threat to me either. So leaving it up to him to decide his own fate, I pretended that whatever I had put in the drink started to take effect and sat down on a rather lonely park bench, I tried to act as sleepy as best I could, if there was nothing there then I was just making a fool of myself, which was the best option.

I was deeply disappointed to see him appear shortly after, his face was covered with a clinical mask and he had changed his coat for a casual one, trying badly not to be so recognizable. He approached me trying to reach out his hand to me, he took my arm. I got tired of the situation and cut the act.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Keisuke!?"

"!!!!"
"Shit, it didn't work!"
"Stay where you are, bitch!"

From one of the sleeves of his coat, he pulled out a knife, pointing it at me. In his face, you could see the enormous doubt of someone who didn't know exactly what he was doing. A nervous criminal was much more likely to do the worst things.

"Tell me genius, what is the idea of doing this?"
"What's in it for you?"
"Are you really going to throw away a future in such a stupid way?"

"Shut up!"
"You think I'm gonna let myself be made fun of by a bitch like you?!"
"Bothering me every day with your big fucking bouncing breasts every day!"
"I can't take it anymore!"
"If I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life I want to at least not be a virgin for another day!"
"Just stay put and nothing will happen to you, just let it go."

!!!!!

*Stab*

Keisuke had just stabbed me in the neck without warning, a deadly blow, I had been taken by surprise for trying to be courteous on this occasion, I really couldn't believe how he exploded into such senseless violence. My free hand was trying to touch my throat trying to do something, I was drowning in my own blood. I had to do something or else I would really die, so with no other choice, summoning every ounce of strength and determination, I pushed through the pain and transformed into a slime girl. My body reformed almost instantly, and the wound that had been fatal moments ago was now closed. I was still physically drained, but I couldn't afford to give up. I couldn't let Keisuke get away with this offense and malice, If it hadn't been me, an innocent girl would have died in my place.

"Wait there you little shit!"
"You don't even think I'm going to let you walk away from this without a scar!"

I raised my hand in a fist and hit him in the face to get him away from me as soon as possible. I couldn't hold back now, the bastard decided to cross an unbreakable line and now I had to be the one to show him the consequences of his actions, there were no more as classmates, now this is between a killer and the bastard who is going to kill him before he does any more damage. From my clothes, I took out my knife, if he was willing to kill someone I hope he was also prepared to die as well.

"All right, motherfucker"
"How do you want this, to have your throat slit too, or to die of blood loss?"

"What the hell are you?"
"You're a monster!"

Keisuke, his face twisted in fear, waved his knife at me repeatedly, trying to strike me down. I dodged his attacks, and I easily stuck my knife into one of his shoulders, after all, it was easier to treat someone with reduced mobility due to damage and pain.

"AAH"

"What the fuck is that pussy scream?" I spat on the ground in disdain.
"At least scream like a man, weren't you just thinking with your dick a while ago?"
"It's not so much fun being the one on the receiving end of the knife anymore, is it?"

Keisuke was now staring at me in fear, his eyes panicking as he noticed the monster he had awakened. In even more panic than before he waved his knife at me several times. With a surge of resolve, I lunged at Keisuke, attempting to disarm him. I grabbed his good arm and twisted it, causing him to drop the knife. He screamed in pain and stumbled back. I could see the fear in his eyes as he realized that I wasn't going down without a fight. Keisuke was panting, his face filled with panic and confusion. He hadn't expected me to fight back. I exchanged my knife on his shoulder to return his knife by stabbing it into his abdomen.

We were both tired, both he for the damage suffered, and I for the strong initial blow, as it seemed that my water body had spent energy in exchange for healing. But if I was bad, my now enemy was worse, with two wounds and losing blood, I was not in condition to emerge victorious, and he knew it, you could see it in his face, with the desespeciacion that he saw me, as if he was seeing death itself. In an act of desperation to escape he threw his knife at me, it was not difficult to dodge him, but right after he also sacrificed his backpack to gain time, which he did because the boy was quite veiled, in a moment he was already beyond the reach of my knife.

The boy ran away as fast as he could, I reached for my gun to finish him off, but unfortunately, by the time I could aim at him he had managed to sneak past several people, I couldn't shoot without putting more innocent people at risk, so instead I tried to follow after him. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find him, he had managed to sneak through the streets full of people, I had no way to find him, somehow he was clear enough to try to hide the blood he was losing so I couldn't use it to follow him.

Keisuke had screwed up, he knew it, he had committed something that had no way back, and the only thing he could think about was what the fuck he had done at that moment, why he had chosen Elise as his victim, was it because she tried to help him and he could use that to his advantage, or was it because he seemed the easiest? It was all over, he had tried to kill a horrible, unintelligible monster, which was now haunting him, and in case his own eyes had failed him because of the confusing moment, there was no way that his former classmate would not go to the police, or the police would now have found the lifeless body and investigate what had happened.

And what was worse, he now had a wound on his body, one that he had to hide if he didn't want to get caught, he couldn't go to a public hospital without being asked what he had posed for. And he didn't know a private doctor who could treat him without asking questions. Nor could he return home, he had lost it the moment he tried to take advantage of someone else. He was no different from his father even if he didn't want to be.

It was all over for him.

The only thing left for him was to lie down in an abandoned alley and wait for the wound to hopefully kill him, if at least that much he could do right.

But as if in answer to his prayers for help an angel appeared before him, or so he thought at first. A girl had appeared, she seemed to be carrying several shopping bags, she saw him lying crying on the floor, she gently approached him. He could still faintly hear her speak, the name his savior introduced herself with was Akane, and she promised to take him to a better place, one where his life would be reborn.