Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

I finished the last of Vadeem’s “makeup” and started to second-guess my initial plans. Originally, I wanted to make him look fierce, like a wild beast ready to destroy all in his path, which required me to make some adjustments to his appearance. Unfortunately, since all we had on hand was some paint, a dozen or so small lights, and other miscellaneous trinkets, Vadeem looked… let’s just say that I was glad he couldn’t see himself right now. The flaws were even more apparent given his now enlarged size.

The red paint I had slabbered all over his body was supposed to make him look fierce like he was covered in blood or had the skin tone of a Japanese Oni, but the colour was slightly off and he looked more like a muscular Kool-Aid Man. Oh yeah, this wasn't a good look.

I even tried to spike his hair up with the paint for a more menacing appearance, and it did look properly scary… while the paint was still wet. As it dried up, it looked like someone had placed a mop on his head after using that mop to clean up the aforementioned Kool-Aid.

Next was his clothes. I thought that Vadeem’s fancy clothing could change into anything he wanted, or like some kind of sci-fi transforming battle gear. Apparently they even had stuff like that in the store, but Vadeem had cheaped out on that option and got the budget version.

What he really meant, much to my immediate and immense disappointment, was that his clothes could simply stretch and grow as much fabric as he wanted. What I had to do was shape pointy spikes out of the extra fabric, using more paint and some mud to “glue” it all together. I don’t think I need to explain how that turned out.

Now Vadeem did look absolutely inhuman once I was done with him, but in all the wrong ways. Even the LED lights I placed under his eyes made him look like one of those 90’s toy robots rather than a creature out of legend. I just hoped that the dim lighting could hide the imperfections.

“So how do I look?” Vadeem asked once I was done, his wide smile made the paint around his face crack.

“Um… really scary,” I answered honestly, his wife would certainly have a heart attack if she saw him now.

He gave me a thumbs-up, which caused the branches I tied around his fingers to serve as talons break off.

“Alright, let’s wait for the last of the paint to dry,” I said, “Just try not to move too much, I have to go plant some of those explosives.”

“Alright, just be quick,” he answered, “This stuff’s making my skin itch.”

One thing that I did enjoy about this supernatural dark was how easy it was to sneak around and do things that I probably shouldn’t. Even the sounds were muted from the suffocating gloom, so it took me no time at all to plant a few remote explosives a little inside the actual village. And I left just as quickly as I went, completely out of sight.

As for how I chose the places to place them? Noe got that part handled, and it only cost 15 Luck Charges. I’d have those recovered by the time I made my entrance. The last thing I did was put on one of the masks from Vadeem’s stash. I chose the simplest one; it was a reflective silver mask that had no other features, and thanks to whatever magic Central’s equipment had, I could see and speak without being muffled, even though there were no eye holes or a mouth.

I went back to Vadeem, making sure he understood the script that I presented, and like that, we headed for the village. Honestly speaking, if anyone with half a brain saw us, they’d probably think we were two patients that just escaped a mental hospital. Hopefully, I could convince the villagers otherwise, and between my high Charisma, Noe’s Aura of Serendipity, and the Idol’s Voice, I think I actually might pull this off.

* * *

Vadeem, the monstrously sized version, barreled his way through the front entrance, his voice screaming in rage, and I did my absolute best to hang on to his flailing body. Not even the darkness was able to mask the noise that Vadeem was making, and soon the various villagers came out from their homes to look at the intruders.

Even in the dim light of the torches, I could tell that these people were abnormal, to say the least. I mean, they looked human insofar as having two arms, two legs, and a head, but everything else? Most of them had horrible boils growing out of their bodies, some had huge black lesions that oozed a foul liquid, while others were missing a nose or an eye. Yet the most striking thing about them was how thin they were. It was clear that these people were on the verge of dying.

My Rookie Eyes also displayed their information, although it was just the basics. All of them had a level of 5 to 11, and the race displayed was still human, so perhaps I could communicate with them.

Once most of the villagers had come out of their homes, I sent a private message to Vadeem through the party chat.

Walter’s Fine: Alright, you can stop now. Just growl at them occasionally now. Let me do the talking, my innate skill lets me speak their language.

Vadeem the Dream: Got you. Intimidation is something I can do all day.

Noe, can you amplify my voice and make it sound more awe-inducing?

“Affirmative,” it answered, “Host Watt’s Idol Voice can achieve such results. Looking through my database for an appropriately awe-inspiring voice now…”

“Unit Noe has found a match. Would Host Watt also like to translate your speech into the villager’s native tongue?”

Yes, please.

“Affirmative. Please proceed.” it said again, “And as always, you are most welcome.”

Did Noe refer to me as “you” and not Host Watt? Huh, kind of strange, but there are more pressing issues at hand.

“Fear not, people of Earth, for I bring Truth! Bring me to your leader!” I shouted, my voice sounded normal to me, but I saw a wave of sound bombard the villagers, causing some of the weaker ones to fall on their backs. Thankfully I had stuffed some fabric into Vadeem’s ears beforehand, he’d probably go deaf otherwise. Then again, given how absurdly durable the big man was, I doubt anything could actually cause him harm.

Most of them were still too stunned and confused as to what was happening. Now was the critical stage of my plan. It was clear from Q’s information and my own assessment that the people here were in a hopeless situation, just weeks away from dying. They needed hope, something to cling to, and I knew of two sure-fire ways to achieve that. One was to become a hero to the people, a folklore legend, but that generally required actually doing heroic feats or having something to fight against. Neither were available here; we were in a place that was devoid of most life.

The other solution, however, was workable, and it was Religion. These people were clearly not technologically advanced, what with their wooden torches and clay huts, so tricking them should be easy enough. I just hope they were still human enough to understand such concepts.

Before long, the stronger of the villagers recovered and started to show signs of fear. Now this individual was either going to fight me or flee, and I was ready for both. He gestured towards a few more of the abled-bodied men around him and took out crude slings and wooden spears. So it seems like they chose to fight, good.

“Foolish!” I screamed again and pointed at one of the explosives I planted on the ground. With my other hand, I pressed the remote detonator and watched as the ground broke apart in a deafening blast. I thought that would be the last of it, but I really shouldn’t underestimate Noe’s Luck, because the first explosion caused a chain reaction that set off the rest of the explosives I placed.

This caused the very ground to break in two as if I had created a fissure that led to the very depths of Hell. Heck, the explosion also caused some natural gasses to ignite, and a huge blaze of fire expanded out of the crack in a conflagration of light before finally extinguishing once the fuel ran out.

The few men who were about to assault me looked on in stunned silence.

“I am the Devouring Truth!” I said, spewing out the first cool-sounding title that came to mind, “Kneel before me, for I bring salvation!”

With another flourish and some sleight of hand, I set the firecrackers I had hidden in my sleeves off, although I probably didn’t need to given my earlier performance. And did you know that it was a very bad idea to set off firecrackers in someone’s sleeves? I found out the hard way and I was all too thankful the darkness hid my act of rubbing Healing Salves on my brunt forearms. It would have been a little embarrassing to be seen nursing a self-inflected would right after giving myself such an awesome name.

Thankfully no one did notice that little screw-up, and all at once, every villager gathered before me started to fall to their knees. Some wept, some prostrated, but they all kneeled. I smiled.

I had one last gesture to cement my place in these people’s hearts because I couldn’t just have them all fear me. Nothing productive came out of fear alone, and I needed their good graces as well. I took out Vadeem’s food suitcase and started to toss out random objects to the people before me. They were confused at first, but the unmistakable smell of food quickly made them understand what was happening. No one dared to take what was on the floor until I spoke up.

“Eat!” I said, before taking my Naiad flask and pouring an unending stream of water on the ground, “And drink! You have all suffered for too long! But fear not, for all bring Truth! Once again, take me to your leader, and I shall dispel this everlasting darkness!”

The first villager, a child no older than perhaps 10 or so, took one of the pieces of fried chicken off the ground and ate. Her mother quickly went to grab her, perhaps fearing that I would smite them for their greed, but when she saw that I did not react, she stopped and grabbed a piece for herself. Soon everyone started to feast on the meal before them, while others went back to their huts to grab pails used to collect the water from my flask. Within minutes, the once dreadful atmosphere lightened up, and a representative came to show us to their leader.

Good, it seems like the first half of my plan was a success. Now let’s see if everything else will work as intended.

Author's Notes: Want to support the author and read the entire first Volume (chapter 50) and some of Volume 2? Check out my Patreon to get fully caught up with Walter's Adventures!