Ugly Bastard System

Gojima returned home late in the evening.

The building he stayed at was a typical three storied apartment housing. Each floor had four apartments. He lived on the first floor, second next to the stairs. The one right next to the stairs belonged to the Hanazonos.

As Gojima started climbing the stairs, he started hearing a weird groaning sound.

"Mumumu..."

'What the hell was that?' Gojima stopped for a moment, but then decided that it was not anything his business.

"Mumumumu... oh! Yatta!!! I did it!!! Yattaze!!!"

Miyahara 'Precocious Brat' Ruri was doing a 'monkey dance' on the half landing between the 1st and 2nd floor with a notebook and pen in her hands.

'Oh yeah, she lived upstairs. Why is she outside dancing on the stairs this late in the evening though?'

Ruri froze when she saw him.

"..."
"..."

Gojima simply decided to leave her in her own world. He had a lot of things to do.

"O-o-oi Ogre! You better not tell anyone whatever you saw okay?! Or I'll... I'll... uh... I'll make you regret it!!!"

Gojima turned and started to walk towards his apartment.

"Oi, don't ignore me!"

He stopped and looked at the girl, whose face was as red as a tomato. He sighed.

"Okay, fine. I will not tell anyone that you were dancing like a monkey on the stairs. Happy?"

"W-who is like a monkey?!!" Her face became even redder. "If anyone is like a monkey that would be you, you huge gorilla!!!"

'Wow, rude much? Even Sachi was-'
Gojima shut down his train of thought and again turned towards his apartment, and was again stopped.

"...What is it this time kid?" She was grabbing him by the hem of his blazer.

"I wasn't monkey dancing okay? It was just happy dancing because I managed to solve a super tough problem!" the girl replied while squirming and fidgeting, her eyes looking around.

"Fine, I get it. See you later kid."

"It was a really tough problem! I must say it might be too much for someone like you!" said the girl while puffing her nonexistent chest.

'Now this girl wants to show off? Seriously...'

Ruri grinningly hold up the pen and notebook she was carrying with her.

"See those nine dots? You need to connect them with only four lines without lifting your pen! Also, no tracing over the same line! As I am benevolent, I will allow you to jump over the other lines!" said the girl with a smug look on her face.

Ah, the classic. First you make someone frustrated for a few minutes, or hours, if they are dumb enough, then show them the correct answer, lift their jaw that was dropped and wisely say, "Learn to think out of the box, kiddo."

Gojima simply took the notebook and the pen, traced out the lines and handed them back.

"Wha-how?!!! That took me two hours!!! You must have cheated, you-you cheater!!!"

"Kiddo, I have lived for almost thrice as long as you, you honestly think I've never solved it before? Also, it took me only thirty minutes in my first time, when I was your age."

The girl only gnawed in frustration, but then again returned to her smug expression, albeit a little strained.

"Hmph! So you do have a little brain after all! How about this one! A Japanese ship was sailing in the Pacific Oce-"
"The one who said that the flag was upside down."
"-aptain of the ship... hey! Don't inter-wha?! Tch, you know this one too... then what about this one! I bet you have never seen this one!" The girl opened a different page and showed a new puzzle.

"Hm? Okay, I haven't seen this one."

"Ha! Can't answer in a second anymore, huh? Mr. I've-lived-thrice-as-long-as-you!" Finally, the strain on her face was gone and there was pure, unadulterated smugness.

'Lets see... a diamond ring was stolen and the police captured three men as suspects—A, B and C. One of them is the thief, one is an accomplice and the remaining one is innocent. Only the innocent one is telling the truth. Okay...'

He read the rest of the puzzle.

A says: C isn't innocent.
B says: I'm innocent.
C says: A isn't the accomplice, and B isn't the thief.

The question is, who is the thief?

Gojima took the notebook and the pen and sat on the stairs. Ruri stood next to him, pleased at his imminent suffering. 'Now suffer like I suffered.'

"Okay, lets start with the easiest one: assuming B is telling the truth, that means A and C are lying. A says C isn't innocent, so that means C is innocent. But B claims that he's innocent, so that's a contradiction. So B cannot be telling the truth. He's lying."

Smugness level: 67%.

"Then we go with the second simplest statement: assuming A is telling the truth, then C isn't innocent and thus is lying. But C says that A isn't the accomplice, which means he is. So, A should be lying too. That's another contradiction. So A cannot be telling the truth. So, C is the innocent one."

Smugness level: 33%.

"Okay, if C is innocent, then he's telling the truth. Which means... A isn't the accomplice. So, he can only be the thief, right? ...What's wrong?"

Smugness level: 0%.

"I... I couldn't solve this one..." said the girl with her eyes down and shoulders shaking.

"...Ah well, I did live-"
"Almost thrice as long as me, I understand. Its just..." the girl plopped down on the stairs and hid her face between her knees. Her ears were red due to embarrassment.

Gojima was again reminded of her daughter, and he subconsciously started patting her head.

"Wha-what's with you suddenly..." the girl tried to swat his hand away, but soon stopped.

"Don't get embarrased, Ruri chan. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to solve the puzzle when I was also a twelve year old kid like you."

"You don't have to console me, hmph! How do you know my age anyways?"

"...I uh, guessed?"

"Creep. Pervert."

"Oi!"

"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY NIECE!!!" Somebody shouted from the half landing below.

"Uncle!" Ruri stood up.

Gojima stood up as well and looked at the young man. He couldn't see the man's eyes as they were covered by his bangs, but he could definitely sense them.

They were radiating pure hostility.