Two Weeks Between Love and Hate

Jillian finally came back to the table after about ten minutes, trying to hide her discomfort. Ginny glanced up from her chat with Katia and gave her daughter a smile, but her expression faltered when she saw Jillian’s face.

“Everything okay, sweetie?” Her mother questioned. Jillian nodded as she settled back beside her sister.

“Yeah, just dealing with some cramps,” she replied, relieved she hadn’t bothered with eye makeup for this bullshit dinner party.

Sympathetically, Katia chimed in, “Oh, I’m sorry, dear. Well, I was going to offer everyone some pie I made, but if you’d rather take some home, that’s fine. Since Jason isn’t feeling well either, we can always catch up more later.” Jillian internally winced at the mention of his name.

When it came to her children, Ginny rarely missed anything, sensing that something was off with her. She was also very aware that getting her eldest daughter to open up about what was bothering her was like pulling teeth. Jillian hadn’t even disclosed where she had been or why she’d unexpectedly turned up at their doorstep, seeking shelter over six months ago. All Ginny knew was that Jillian had slept for nearly three days straight when she finally came home. Now, her daughter wore the same troubled expression.

“Thanks, that sounds wonderful Kat,” Ginny said to her friend, who smiled back, walking into the kitchen and began packing several slices of the peach pie she’d baked earlier.

“Jillybean... everything okay?” Ginny asked her daughter, using a name she called her as a kid to make sure she got her attention while Katia was out of the room. Jillian just scowled at her mother’s childhood nickname for her.

“Yeah, Mom, I’m fine. Just want to head home and go to bed,” she replied, squeezing her little sister’s hand tightly. Ginny nodded, deciding not to push further. Especially outside their own home. After a bit, Katia came back holding a large Tupperware full of pie slices.

“I packed plenty for everyone here and for the boys back home too,” she said with a smile, sad to see them leave but glad they stopped by.

“Thank you Kat, I’m sure everyone will be so happy. Your deserts are the best,” Ginny said, standing up and moving around the table to give her friend a big hug as she took the container. “Say goodbye to Jason for us, we hope he feels better soon. That meal was amazing, as always.” she said, putting a hand on Katia’s cheek, smiling warmly.

“Oh, stop Ginny. You know you’re welcome over anytime. Hopefully, he will feel better and we can do this again soon,” she replied sweetly.

“Definitely, I need to get a babysitter more often so we can hang out just us girls,” Ginny gave a wink as they exchanged cheek kisses before parting ways.

Everyone else got up from the table and made their way out the door.

“Thanks for coming. It was nice finally meeting you, Jillian,” Katia called out as the visiting family headed down the walkway. Every time she visited Ginny’s before, the eldest Lins daughter had either been out or hidden away in her room the whole time. Ginny turned to her daughter, who clearly had no intention of saying anything in return. Giving Jillian a little nudge, Ginny shot her a stern look until she begrudgingly rolled her eyes and waved back.

“Yeah, thanks for having us and stuff,” Jillian muttered with obvious disdain. Ginny frowned at her daughter’s attitude but couldn’t help but wonder what the hell happened in that house.

Jason waited until he was sure everyone had left before hurrying to his room from the study, clutching his shirt and watch against his chest. Once he was safely inside, he shed his clothes and flopped back down onto his bed, in just his underwear. He stared at the ceiling, lost in thought, replaying the events from earlier. He couldn’t shake the image of Jillian’s hurt expression after their heated exchange. Just why did the sight of her pain hit him so hard? Why did it make him feel sick to his stomach?

Jason couldn’t grasp why he didn’t feel the rush he thought he would after landing such a verbal blow. Here he was, twenty-six, sinking to the same level Jillian did back in high school. She at least had the excuse of being a dumb teenager, but what was Jason’s excuse? That he was still stewing over the actions of that teenage girl?

“Ugh, this. Fucking. Sucks!” he groaned, more frustrated by the situation than anything else. Didn’t he deserve to get even for all the pain he endured? Why did getting his revenge make him feel like the villain?

There was a light tap on his door, followed by his mom’s gentle voice drifting in from the hallway.

“Jason? You awake, hun?”

He quickly pulled the blanket over himself. “Yeah…”

“Mind if I come in?”

“Umm, sure,” Almost regretting the words as they left his mouth. Closing the door behind her, Katia settled on the side of the bed next to him. She offered a warm smile before gently placing her hand on his arm.

“How’re you holding up, sweetheart?” Her words filled with the sweet, caring tone only a mother could provide.

Jason gave his mom a slight smile, grateful to still have her by his side. She was always ready and willing to provide him with at least some comfort.

“Yeah, mom, I’m okay,” he reassured her, reaching over to softly squeeze her hand.

“I’m just... thinking about stuff, you know?” Her smile faltered slightly.

“Is there something specific on your mind?” she asked gently. Jason’s smile completely faded, but he kept holding her hand.

“Just some stuff about the past... mostly Dad,” he whispered. Not able to tell her about Jillian, his mom didn’t even know the two went to school together.

His mother’s expression shifted to one of slight sadness. “Oh, Jason,” she murmured, laying down partially, her head resting on his shoulder.

“If your father was still here today, he would be so proud of the person you’ve become. I know that in my heart,” Katia comforted him, her thumb softly stroking his arm.

Jason took a deep breath, his throat suddenly feeling tight.

“Thanks, mom... Do you… think about him often?” he asked softly. Her thumb paused and her grip tightening briefly.

“Almost every day, dear... But I try to stay positive, and with my baby boy home, it’s much easier for me,” she replied, her voice choking up slightly. “You look so much like your father, Jason. Having you home feels like having him back, even if just a little.”

Jason wrapped his arm around his mother, pulling her tight against him. He felt a damp sensation where his mother’s head was resting as she let herself cry quietly, just a little. Just enough to release some of the pent up sadness she struggled with each day.

“I miss him too,” his voice was barely a whisper now. They stayed like that for a while, simply lying together in silence, trying to be the other’s comfort.

Eventually, Jason let go of his mother as Katia pushed herself up and sniffled a little, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. A sad smile on her beautiful face.

“You should get some rest, dear. I’ll make a big breakfast for you tomorrow morning to help you recharge.” She smiled down at her son, who reached over and took her hand again.

“That sounds great, mom. Thank you.” Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, reluctant to let go as she stood up from his bed.

“Sleep tight, sweetheart,” she said as she made her way to the door.

“Mom?” Jason called after her.

“Yeah?” His mother glanced back at him.

“I love you.”

Katia beamed at him. “Love you too, hun. Good night dear,” she left his room with a small wave, leaving Jason to his thoughts once more.

It took Jason ages to fall asleep that night. He spent hours just lying there, sometimes scrolling through his phone or staring at the ceiling. When sleep finally came, it brought a barrage of unsettling dreams. In one, he wasn’t the victim of bullying like in his own past; instead, he was the bully. He picked on everyone. Every person had bright red hair and wore the same devastated look that Jillian had earlier as he tormented them. Needless to say, it was a rough night. He kept waking up, only to drift back into that same frustrating dream each time he tried to fall back asleep.

Jillian went straight to bed as soon as she got home. She just wanted this day to be over and done with. Lying in bed, she couldn’t shake off Jason’s words from her mind. Sure, she had teased him for years, but even when she attempted to make things right she still fucked up. He had taken her apology, rejected it, stomped on it, burned it, then pissed on the ashes. Did she really deserve all that?

The more Jillian dwelled on it, the more she came to a conclusion. “I do...” burying her head under a pillow in shame. Her brain constantly reminding her she deserved every harsh word he said.

She was haunted by everything that had gone wrong before and after high school. It was all her fault. Every messed-up situation led her to where she was now. Along with the overbearing feeling of being used up and worn out at the ripe old age of twenty-seven. The hundreds of times she endured both physical and verbal abuse was just her cosmic payback. Tears welled up despite her efforts to hold them back, eventually they escaped and soaked into her pillow. Curling up into a ball, she hugged her knees tightly, weeping until she fell asleep, completely worn out.

Because of either the crappy dreams he had or the fact he’d napped a ton the day before, Jason found himself awake at five AM. He groaned as he opened his eyes to the familiar ceiling of his childhood bedroom and sluggishly sat up. Rubbing the back of his stiff neck, not used to the crappy pillow and mattress. He felt like going back to sleep wasn’t even an option at this point. Glancing out the window, he noticed a thick blanket of fog shrouding the houses across the street. Checking his phone, he figured he might as well go for a run since he was already up.

“Not like there is much else to do.” The altitude was much higher here compared to Florida, so the air was noticeably thinner, and would make any training he did more effective.

Jason quickly threw on a bright red tracksuit with white stripes running down the arms and legs. The bottoms were a bit worn out, with a few holes here and there from all the use. He slipped on and laced up an old beat up pair of running shoes, grabbed a pair of wireless sport headphones from his suitcase and stuck them in his ears. Connecting them with his phone, as he quietly snuck out of his room and out the front door.

The frigid morning air quickly chilled him to the bone.

“Fuck, it’s freezing out here!” Jason muttered loudly to himself. Even though it was still early autumn, the nights were getting close to below freezing. He put his phone back in his pocket after starting some music and began his run at a slow pace to start. Adjusting to the altitude and the chilly weather would take some time, but he honestly was looking forward to the distraction. It was just what he needed to clear his mind of a certain redhead.

A short time later, Jillian was now wide awake in her room. She was tossing some of her stuff into an old Jansport backpack, just the basics for now: phone, makeup, clothes, lingerie, heels, and whatever cash she had stashed away. She didn’t want to but if she had to resort to desperate measures to survive she would. Pulling on a black hoodie and sweatpants, she tiptoed over to her sister’s bed. June was still fast asleep. Jillian leaned down and planted a soft kiss on June’s forehead, trying not to disturb her.

“I have to do this…before I fuck you up as well. . . I love you Junebug.” June mumbled a bit in response, rolled over, then snuggled up with her blanket, still fast asleep,.

Jillian gave her a sad smile, bottom lip trembling as she brushed away a stray tear from her cheek. Sneaking downstairs, she was relieved that her family slept in most weekend mornings. Pausing at the front door, she took one last look at her childhood home. With a heavy heart, she unlocked the door and stepped outside, gently closing it behind her. It was one of the hardest decision she ever made, but she knew it was necessary, convinced that leaving now was the right choice.

“They are better off without me fucking up their lives,” Staring down at her feet, counting her steps as she walked. Her thoughts screamed for her to run, while her heart wanted nothing more than to stay with her family.

Jason sprinted forward with a burst of speed, stopping after the five second dash to shadow box for fifteen, then resumed his run. He quickly worked up a nice sweat, repeating this routine every two minutes. Taking in deep gasps of air, the altitude made catching his breath a struggle. It felt good to actually challenge his body again. The endorphins pumping through his system, a tired smile on his face. He continued his pattern of running, dashing and shadow boxing while heading back to his moms. The thick fog was still settled on the small town, even as the sun rose. Thin beams of light piercing the low hanging cloud here and there. It was honestly beautiful.

As Jason turned onto his street, he picked up the pace for the home stretch. His head was already dripping with sweat as he dashed down the sidewalk. When a small dark figure suddenly appeared in front of him, slowly walking towards him.

His eyes widened in surprise, no time to change direction as he blurted out, “Oh, shit!” Trying his hardest to slow his giant frame that was hurtling toward the unaware figure.

Colliding hard, the force sent the figure clad in all black sprawling onto the nearby lawn. A loud, girlish scream echoed as they hit the grass. The old, worn-out zipper on the bag they were carrying burst open, scattering its contents across the yard.

Jason stumbled forward, barely managing to stay upright by running a few more steps to regain his balance.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered under his breath. From the scream, he realized he had basically bulldozed into a woman. After regaining his balance, he hurried back to where she lay on the grass not moving at the moment.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you through the fog,” still trying to catch his breath.

The woman let out a pained groan as she slowly rolled over onto her back, grimacing in pain. “Who the fuck in their right mind runs in the fog? Uggh, just help me up, you dick.” She extended her hand towards the sound of the other voice.

“Yeah, I know I messed up, I said sorry.” Jason grimaced at her insult but grabbed her hand, easily pulling her back to her feet

When Jillian finally got back on her feet, she pushed the hood of her oversized hoodie back and found herself face-to-chest with her assailant. Her anger filled scowl looked up only to meet the gaze of the last person she wanted to see.

“Jason!?” she exclaimed in surprise.

“Jillian!?” Jason echoed, equally surprised. They locked eyes for a moment, his gaze shifting to the busted open pack she was carrying and the items scattered on the ground. He paused for a few moments, then looked back at her, noting the almost fearful expression on her face. “What the hell is happening here?”