Two Weeks Between Love and Hate

“I think the more common term is cuck-queen? But that’s more of an insult these days. I have also seen the term compersion floating around,” Jillian said as her and Lina got to talking.

“Well I certainly like how that sounds more than cu-cuck....the other thing,” Lina’s face cringed slightly, just from almost saying the word.

“To participate in the happiness and joy of others,” Jillian said, reading the definition off of Jason’s phone.

“Oh, I like that!” Lina said happily.

The whole conversation stemmed from Jillian calling her out for being turned on, which Lina of course denied at first but eventually admitted after a bit of pressure.

“So you are someone that gets off from making others happy,” Jillian said with a raised brown and slight smirk. Lina’s face burned from the description she was given.

“Umm, well..” Her blushing cheeks and timid behavior made it pretty clear Jillian was basically right.

During the entire conversation, Jason simply sat there, thinking on how his life for the past few months was a lie. He worked so hard and yet he was still unknowingly relying on so much from a teenager. It felt like a part of him had just been ripped out and shown to him. He was still trying to calculate just how much money he actually owed Lina in his head, even though she said he didn’t have to pay her back. His best estimate was well over six figures. How long would it take him to pay all that back? He had to try and find a new place to live as well. Living in a place where Lina or anyone, for that matter, was paying the majority of his rent was not an option for him.

“Hey Jase, would you come into the kitchen with me real quick?” Jillian said, snapping Jason out of his temporary stupor.

“Huh, why?”

She didn’t answer his question but just gave him a hard stare that told him that asking more questions wouldn’t be wise.

“I mean, sure.”

The two got up from the couch, telling Lina to wait there for a moment. She simply nodded and sat back down on the recliner, giving a polite smile, watching the two walk off into the kitchen.

“So, what do you think about her offer?” Jillian said in a whisper.

Jason frowned deeply, letting out a sigh.

“I’m not thrilled about it, honestly. Plus, it bugs the crap out of me that I can’t afford to live in my own apartment without her help. I feel pretty fuckin’ dumb over all this. Like I deluded myself into thinking it was work paying for it.”

“Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself. Even though I’m not her biggest fan, I think it’s her way of showing she cares and I can’t fault her for that. But I understand. Maybe start looking for a new place, just in case,” Jillian tried to reassure him. Jason nodded in agreement, his hands hanging at his sides as he frowned in contemplation.

“Yeah, I was already planning to do that when I got back,” Jason said, his fists clenching at the mention of going back to Florida. The topic was really starting to wear on his sanity. He needed to talk to her about it, but dealing with Lina came first.

The two talked about the situation in a hushed tone for several minutes. At some point during the conversation, they found themselves back in each other’s arms. Hers around his neck and his around her waist, like they were magnets being pulled to one another.

“So, for now, we accept the deal and see where it goes. It’s not like it’s another contract where you are forced to keep in touch. If it doesn’t work out, we just end it and figure out what to do after that,” Jillian said, standing on her tippy toes to pepper his jawline with kisses.

“Yeah, I guess that’s the best option to go with for now…” Jason pulled away from her a little to look down.

“Jill, I want to talk to you about something after Lina leaves.”

“Well, that sounds ominous. Should I be worried?” Her gaze hardened slightly at the man, hiding the worry she felt just beneath the surface.

“Umm, maybe a little. I just want to discuss something that has been bugging me.”

Jason’s words didn’t help ease her worry, but she agreed nonetheless.

“Okay, we will talk more later, then.”

The two separated without any further affection, which didn’t help the sour feeling in Jillian’s stomach.

Walking back into the living room they stood in front of Lina, who quickly rose from her seat.

“Alright Lina, we talked a bit about your offer. And we agree to be your friends, though the friendship is rather unorthodox and if at any point it doesn’t feel right, we will end it quickly. If you are fine with that, we can be friends for now,” she added, meeting Jason’s gaze to confirm.

He nodded in agreement with her statement. It was kind of surprising how good Jillian was at this whole negotiating thing. He could easily see her doing litigation, dressed in some form-fitting suit. Shaking his head slightly, he fended off his fantasies before they got out of control. Lina flashed a bright grin at the announcement.

“Thank you both. All I want is a chance! I really do enjoy seeing the two of you happy.” she exclaimed happily, biting her lip for a moment.

“That’s good and all, but you should really think about finding someone for yourself. Sure, indulging in fantasies is fun, but it’s not everything. Give people a chance to get close. I can already picture you going out with some nice guys and thinking, Yeah, he’s alright, but Jason this, Jason that. It’s not healthy to compare others to what you may have considered your ideal,” Jillian said with her hands on her hips.

“I’m nothing special to begin with, anyway. I can give you advice when you need it though. I don’t want you to go through another Timothy incident,” Jason said, folding his arms across his chest. Lina blushed a little and nodded in agreement, as Jill had been exactly right.

Several young men over the last few years, mostly at parties and small gatherings, had tried to get to know her. But Lina never gave them more than a friendly conversation, always sounding rather closed off to any attempts to get closer to her. Her destiny had been just a short time away. Why would she try to get close to anyone else?

“I want you to apologize as well, Lina,” Jillian said suddenly, causing the younger woman to look up in surprise.

“Huh, what for… I mean sure but for what?” Lina’s confusion only deepened along with Jillian’s frown.

“The fact that you don’t even know is a big issue,” she sighed heavily. Jillian then went on to explain just how off-base Lina was in pushing for that deal in the first place.

“Making a contract to date someone is just…” Jillian threw her hands up at the absurdity of the idea. “Like leading a horse that isn’t thirsty to a river and shoving its face in the water. Thats not how love works. If the other person isn’t interested from the start, it’s already an uphill battle. Forcing someone to interact with you only makes the other person resent you.”

Jason once again nodded in agreement.

It was scary how right Jillian was. He guessed it was because she had spent so many years trying to make that bastard of a man love her. Lina was lucky to be getting this advice before she made the same mistake.

Jillian tried her best to open up about her life experiences, hoping to pass on some wisdom she’d gained through her own rough go at life and love.

“Look, I get it. You’ve been living in a bubble. You’re basically a spoiled princess everyone bows down to. But that also means no one but spoiled princes will want you or feel like they can even approach you. And I am guessing you don’t want someone like that, do you? Jase told me about how that boy tricked you, and it pisses me off. Especially since…,” Jillian caught herself before she said something she didn’t mean to again. Lina looked at her oddly.

“Since what?”

“It’s nothing. I just hate that little jerk for tricking you for so long.” She let out a small sigh as Lina hung on every word Jillian spoke. “In the past, I thought someone loved me because he showered me with gifts and lavish trips. But it turned out. All he really wanted was my body, and he got some twisted pleasure from keeping me locked up like I was some toy he kept in storage to use whenever he wanted,” she said, grimacing as she stared at the floor.

Jason glanced over at Jillian, his expression clouded with concern as she brought up that bastard who had hurt her in the past. He reached over and took her hand in his own, lacing their fingers together and offering what little support he could. Jillian looked over at him with a weak smile then back at Lina. Her expression quickly became stern.

“Jason might have ended up in a cage next if you continued on this path.”

Lina’s eyes widened at the accusation.

“What!? I would never—”

Jillian raised a hand to stop her.

“I’m not saying you absolutely would have, but the way things were going, he was being pushed into a corner you created. You were ignoring the truth and only seeing what you wanted to see. What would have happened if you got your date and he still wanted nothing to do with you? Would you start to strip him of all the support he didn’t even know you were giving? On that matter, did you really not know he was oblivious? Or did you intentionally make it difficult to figure out cause you knew he would reject your support if he knew it was you?” Jillian was coming to conclusions now that she was talking about it. Her hands balled into fists, her expression tight with mild anger.

“You wanted him to be reliant on you so you could put him into a situation where he couldn’t refuse. Admit it Lina!” Jillian shouted, making the younger blonde flinch slightly.

“I…I.” Lina stammered, looking like she was about to cry, thinking about how she had been unwittingly forcing Jason into a corner with only one way out.

“I refuse to let what happened to me happen to anyone else, as long as I have the power to stop it.”

She shot a harsh glare at Lina, who gazed at the floor, her face etched with sadness. A few tears ran down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I just thought I could make him happy, less lonely. I thought if we spent time together... That maybe we could both be less lonely. But I get it, I was just imagining it all… I'm the one that is lonely and unhappy.”

A few more tears escaped Lina’s eyes as she spoke. Jillian glanced at Jason, silently urging him to speak up. He’d been quiet for too long now. Jason frowned a bit, but with a sigh, he released Jillian’s hand and moved closer to place a gentle hand on Lina’s shoulder.

“Look, Lina. I’ve tried to tell you many times, but you never truly listened. I never saw you romantically, and I don’t think I ever will. It’s not that I want to hurt you. I did my best to spare you from it. You’re still young, with your whole life ahead of you. You have such a promising future. But sometimes you let your imagination run wild and get lost in what could be, instead of what will be. I… will still be your friend, but anything beyond that is just not possible.”

His words were blunt, and Lina visibly flinched at a few points. It was clear she was still struggling to fully let go of the relationship that was on her mind each and every day.

“I get it...” Lina muttered, feeling the weight of her mistakes settle on her shoulders.

Jillian sighed and walked over as well, casually draping an arm over Lina’s shoulder.

“Lina, let's go have a little girl talk in private. I think there are some things you need to hear.”

Lina looked at Jillian, wiping her eyes, a little surprised by how kind Jillian suddenly sounded.

“Huh…umm, okay?” The blonde looked a little unsure, but agreed.

Looking up at Jason, Jillian grinned.

“We’ll be right back, just sit tight and look pretty,” she teased before waving and leading Lina down the hallway into Jason’s room, closing the door and locking it behind them.

He wasn’t all that thrilled they were taking over his room, but his gut told him he wanted nothing to do with that conversation. So, he went into the kitchen to make himself some lunch. All this drama made him hungry.

After making himself a few sandwiches, Jason ended up back on the couch with a beer. For about half an hour, he made himself busy by scrolling through a real estate app on his phone. He was desperately trying to find something to take his mind off the topic that was burning a hole in his brain. Finally, Jillian and Lina emerged from his room, both sporting wide smiles that made him a tad uneasy.

The two strutted into the living room, and Jason couldn’t help but ask, “Everything go alright?”

Jillian replied with a reassuring tone, “Of course, we had a very nice chat and sorted everything out.”

Lina chimed in as well, a wide grin on her face, “Mmhmm! Thanks again, Jill. I’ll be sure to check into that thing you mentioned as well. I should probably head home now though. Things didn’t go exactly as planned, but I learned so much I don’t even feel sad anymore! I still want to apologize for all the trouble I caused you two…” Lina sounded much more mature as she gazed at Jillian like she was a big sister suddenly.

Jason stood up and Lina walked over to him, a smile still plastered on her face as she looked up at him.

“Would you be okay with a hug goodbye?” she asked instead of just doing it, which was a nice change of pace.

Jason nodded with a small smirk in the corner of his mouth. Lina quickly wrapped her arms around Jason’s large midsection and squeezed as hard as she could. He was a little hesitant but placed a hand on her back and patted it softly.

“Safe travels, say hi to your dad for me,” he said as he recalled his brief encounter with Liam Kilpatrick. It had been quite an intense meeting, feeling more like an interrogation than anything else with armed security all around. But once Lina’s father saw Jason’s true intentions, he was surprisingly supportive.

“It makes Lina happy and I don’t have to worry about anyone touching her again for two years. Sounds like a nonissue to me,” Liam had said with a fatherly smile.

Though it wasn’t an issue for him, it certainly was an issue for Jason. But that didn’t matter to Liam, no matter how much Jason hoped he would tell Lina to stop pursuing him. Lina pulled back from their embrace, wiping a tear from her eye. It was a happy tear as she continued smiling while walking over to the door. She turned back and waved goodbye as she stepped out of the house.

“Come on, Maurice, don’t just stand there like a weirdo,” she teased her bodyguard before the door shut behind her.

Lina’s departure felt like a massive weight being removed from Jason’s shoulders. Finally, the ordeal with Lina Kilpatrick was over, for the most part at least. He flopped back down on the couch, letting out a long breath as he shut his eyes for a long moment. Then, grabbing his beer from the end table, he finished the bitter last of it. Jillian looked at him with a small frown on her face, walking closer.

“So… what is the thing you wanted to talk about that I may or may not need to worry about?” she asked softly.

Jason’s eyes opened and his earlier thoughts quickly crept back into his mind, and showing on his face.

“Jase?” she asked, stepping closer, trying to figure out what was bothering him.

The expression he held seemed like what he had to say was more than just something small.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, determined to sort out this new stress that was on the horizon.

“It’s… hard to talk about. It might be better to wait till we recover from this mess.”

“Nope, not letting you push this one off. We’ve been through too much lately to ignore what is on your mind now. It’s obviously bothering you enough to want to talk to me about it. So let me in, Jason,” she said as she stood in front of him with her hands on her hips and a determined look on her face. Looking at her, she still seemed so sexy in her outfit, it was hard to focus on much else. But his brain was still wracked with panic from the topic on his mind.

Jillian sat down on the couch beside him, her hand quickly moving to rest on his leg, giving it a comforting squeeze. They only had a little bit of time before their moms got back from their lunch date with June. So she wanted to make the best of it.

Jason wasn’t sure how to start, but he knew he had to try.

“Jillian... My life is in Florida,” he began, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. She looked a little puzzled. It wasn't like this was new information, yet the way he was acting made it seem like he was revealing a secret to her.

“Um, okay? And?” she said, not sure where he was going with this.

“And your life is here, with your family... with June,” he continued, feeling the weight of his words. Jillian narrowed her eyes, sensing something coming.

“Just spit it out Jason,” she urged, not liking where this conversation was heading, but tired of dancing around the issue.

Jason let out a frustrated sigh.

“I am trying to avoid misunderstandings. What I’m trying to say is... I’m not sure how this is going to work out between us,” he blurted out, and Jillian removed her hand from his leg, a deep scowl on her face realizing just what he was saying.

“I keep wondering if it might hurt less to stop before things get even more complicated.” His tone was full of remorse and concern.

Jillian struggled to keep her cool. This was the man she’d just spent the whole morning with, discussing their relationship, who they were, and all their pain and worries. He had sounded so genuine when he talked about their relationship with Lina. She knew he didn’t want to end what they had. There was just no fucking way that was what he wanted. Not with how sweet and affectionate Jason had been. He had to be lying…but he didn’t lie, not very well at least. So why was he saying it now?

“So you want to break up because you think it’ll be easier now than later? Does that mean you were always planning on breaking up with me before you left?” She shifted away from him, pressing her back against the arm of the couch so she could glare at him more directly.

Jason turned to look at Jillian. Instead of anger, there was a deep sadness in his eyes.

“No, that’s not it at all, I swear. I...am worried about leaving you behind and things going badly while we’re apart. I have never done anything like this before. And I’m not going to pretend that you’d come with me either. I’m just afr-“

Jillian’s fists clenched at Jason’s words and she shouted over him, “I never said I would! Why would leave my family for you after spending just a week together, especially when most of that time was spent arguing? Honestly, it’s kind of insulting and clingy that you’d even suggest it.”

Her tone was more than a touch heated as she shot back.

Jason really didn’t like her tone or the words she spoke. Not only did she cut him off and shout at him, but she also accused him of something he didn’t even say. His mood quickly shifted in response.

“I never said that you would. I wasn’t trying to... You just..” he paused, struggling to find the right words.

“I just what, Jason? Called you out for some bullshit before you could finish?” Jillian said quickly.

Jason let out a slight growl as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt that familiar anger start to burn inside of him.

“It wasn’t meant to be an insult. But, surprise, surprise, you took it that way,” he said, as his lips curled down into a scowl.

“Oh, and what’s that supposed to mean?“ Jillian returned with a scoff.

“It means you interpret everything even remotely negative as a personal attack.”

“Well, maybe if someone didn’t always push me away or fly off the handle for no reason, I wouldn’t feel like you’re constantly insulting me with vague comments like ‘I’m not going to pretend that you’d come with me’,” Jillian retorted.

“I fly off the handle for no reason?! That’s fuckin’ rich.”

The two angrily glared at one another, even more vicious than what was normal for them.

“Look, if you would just calm the fuck down and listen to what I’m saying. You would realize I don’t want to be the reason you miss your family,” Jason continued, finding a small bit of calm, but it didn’t last long. He didn’t know the cardinal rule of never telling a woman to calm down.

“Fuck you, you need to calm down. You think if I stay here with my family and you are in Florida, our relationship is just gonna crumble like it means nothing! You have no fucking faith in us!” Jillian held her knees to her chest now and her arms tightly wrapped around her legs.

“I’m just trying to be realistic here! I’ve never even been in a relationship, I have no idea how this shit even works, and it being long distance sca-.”

Yet again Jason was cut off as she yelled back.

“So you just give up instead? You’re not even gonna try? Wow, okay. I guess I had you pegged wrong for what kind of man you are.”

Her eye twitched badly, and the pale freckled skin of her face was red with anger, like emotions were building up behind her rage and were about to explode out.

“I’m not worth your time if you can’t use my body, is that it?”

Jason’s eyes bulged and his jaw dropped at her words, staring at her with pure shock.

It felt like everything they had been through and the trauma they shared was thrown out with that one small sentence.

“H-how…How dare you...” He couldn’t find the words to express how he felt at this moment, too busy trying to process hers.

The fog of anger slowly lifted from Jillian as she saw Jason’s devastated expression and the painful look in his eyes. It was then she realized exactly what she said to him. To a man who had been so scarred by his first experience, he was hesitant to even touch her at first.

“W-wait, I-I didn’t mean it like that...” she started, but Jason stood up abruptly.

Jillian’s head tilted back to look at Jason, whose sadness quickly morphed into a visceral and twisted anger.

“Yup, you fucking figured it out, Jill. You totally caught me. That’s me, just so addicted to your body that I can’t live without it. Bravo, you solved the mystery of who truly am,” he sarcastically clapped his hands a few times.

“You must be so relieved that you figured it out before we fucked even once, right? Since I'm such a bastard that clearly only wants to use you, ending this farce of a relationship shouldn’t be a problem for you, huh?”

His rage had become an ice-cold furor as he glared down at her as she still sat on the couch, stunned by the outburst.

“Um, n-no, I don’t...” She weakly tried to salvage the conversation, but it was too late.

Words had spilled from her mouth that couldn’t be easily taken back. She quickly devolved into a state of profound sadness, tears quickly leaking from her eyes in rapid succession.

Her arms fell limp and her legs fell over the side of the couch. Her gaze locked on the floor. She couldn't look at him anymore. She lost that right.

“I’m sorry I…I’ll leave you alone,” Jillian mumbled, feeling Jason’s intense glare burning a hole into her. He couldn’t stop himself from letting out one last comment.

“Yeah, you do that. I wouldn’t want you to feel like I’m using you anymore.”

She quickly stood up, still avoiding eye contact, and dashed out of the house, grabbing her mother’s heels on the way out. She slammed the door behind her in her haste, leaving him standing there staring at the front door, his face still clouded with anger.

He glared at the closed door for several long minutes. For a while, it felt like his anger would never go away, yet it slowly started to ebb. Soon, it was replaced by a small twinge of pain that was hardly noticeable at first. Everything after Lina left happened so fast, and now… it was over… it was all over. The good and the bad.

“She’s gone… And she isn’t coming back this time.”

The realization felt like tiny pins and needles in his chest. At first it was manageable, but with each heartbeat it seemed to get worse. His heart was beating at a seemingly impossible pace. The pain grew so fast, that soon Jason was gritting his teeth trying to fight the searing agony that grew with each passing second.

Eventually Jason was in more pain than he’d ever felt before. He clutched his chest, while his face contorted in agony.

“Augh fuck. . . My chest Ahhh! It’s is on fucking fire,” he wailed in torment.

His legs shook like leaves in the wind as he felt his heart throbbing, the pain still growing somehow. It was so much harder to breathe now, as he gasped for air. His legs quickly lost the strength to support him. He dropped to his knees, his teeth clenched tight, saliva pouring out the sides of his mouth. He tried to suck in as much air as his constricted lungs could, but barely managed to get half a breath.

“Wh-what is…Ahhhhhggh,” he let out a quiet, strained scream of agony, collapsing forward and smacking the side of his head hard on the carpeted floor.

The fear that he was about to die gave him a small boost of adrenaline. But his heart was pounding in quick irregular rhythms while it felt like an elephant was standing on his chest. Drool began pooling under his face, teeth still clenched tight. The edges of his vision started to darken as he tilted his head to look at the door once last time, tiny prismatic specs and bubbles clouded his eyes. His vision narrowed till all he could see was pinholes of light.

The last thing Jason heard was the muffled sound of a door creaking open and a piercing wail before his world and the sound all faded to black. And Jason, was gone.

Jillian hadn’t run back home. She dashed as fast as she could in the opposite direction, tears still streaming down her face as she ran on the rough concrete sidewalk. Her feet’s only protection was the thin pantyhose, which were already tearing. She kept running towards town, managing a few blocks before needing to slow and catch her breath, but never stopping completely.

She gasped for air between soft sobs, unable to calm down even a little. She heard the distant wail of a siren. Looking up, she saw an ambulance racing down the road, passing by her in the direction of her home. She ignored it. She didn’t care and just wanted to get where she was going as soon as possible.

When Jillian finally reached her destination, and she walked into the building, several people quickly stared at her.

“Hey uhh, Mick, can you come out here for a sec?” A chubby man called from behind the front desk. He sported a thin beard that did little to hide his baby face which was covered with lots of piercings

“Kinda in the middle of something, Jerry,” came the reply.

“Umm, it’s kind of an emergency, Mika.”

There was a loud sigh and the sound of gloves snapping before Mika emerged from one of the tattoo booths.

“What, Jerry!? I was right in the middle of... Jill!” She finally noticed her best friend standing in the middle of her store, tears streaming down her now dirty face, gasping for breath after running so far.

“Jill, what the hell happened to you?” Mika rushed over, putting her hands on Jillian’s cheeks. Jillian sobbed a few more times and sniffed loudly.

“H-he... He broke up with me,” she managed to get out. Mika gave her a stunned look.

“Huh... Wait, do you mean Jason broke up with you? You guys got together and broke up in just a week?”

It sounded absurd, but Jillian looked extremely upset. Mika wouldn’t ignore her friend’s suffering, even if it was a bit absurd.

“Forget it. Come on, let’s get you upstairs and into a bath. You’re drenched with sweat.”

Despite it being early afternoon, Jillian looked utterly exhausted.

“Holy fuck! Your feet! Did you run all the way here barefoot?”

Small splotches of blood lingered where Jillian walked, the ruined pantyhose coiled at her ankles now. Mika quickly guided her up to the apartment above and into a lukewarm bath. The whole time, Jillian continued to sob, but not many tears were coming out anymore. Though not for a lack of trying. It was certainly going to be a long day and night for the both of them.