TS reincarnated in Harem text

25th, December.

This was the worst day that could've happened to my life in this novel world. It had been a day that I had lost contact with my other self, Hyouri...She was the source of supplying secure elements toward my life. After all, she was the only one who knew that I was an outsider who penetrated this text world. More than that, she was also the only partner to whom I could talk freely and relieve my loneliness, and secrets. I didn't need to hide myself and take countermeasures in front of her because she knew me the best. She inherited my memory so I didn't need to hold back when I was with her. But...

Then, she'd gone...

No matter how many times I closed my eyes, I couldn't find any entry points to link back to our mindscape. It was as if the lake, the moonlight, those cherry blossom trees didn't exist in the first place. Hyouri just disappeared like that without any warnings. No hello, nor saying goodbye.

It was like my second personality was the production of my hallucination created by my broken heart. My heart yearned for a person who understood me the best, loved me the most, and put my position above everything else. She existed like that...

Was she tired of me? No...If we had disputed, she didn't have any ability to erase our mindscape easily...except for her hiding from me this ability...However, I didn't want to believe it.

Hyouri, did you betray me? You knew that I hated liars the most. You said you would be together with me. Then, where were you? You almost made me think that I was on drugs to create you. We've been together for more than 10 years...Why? Why? Why did you leave me?

I was a double standard person when mentioning my hatred because I also lied to everyone in this text world.

It was so ironic...Did I have the right to scold her? No. It would make me a hypocrite instead.

How could I live without her?

A question popped up in my mind...Speaking of which, I realized the seriousness of my problem...

I had depended on her so much that I didn't even dare to make a choice for myself. Every decision I made was reviewed by Hyouri before I could do anything.

She was the only one who could keep me secure feelings in the safe zone.

Without her, I was like a hedgehog without thorns outside to protect my vulnerable self. A rose had its thorns taken away so that humans could easily pick it up without wariness.

Sure enough, I was picked up by the Rose Princess of the text without struggling, Shinonawa Charlotte. She was no longer a teenager who had an Oujo-sama tendency like in the past but became more mature with her new hairstyle instead of two twin drills. She was quite tall for me although I had already reached the realm of 170 centimeters. She was about 175~182 centimeters tall, maybe. Her hairstyle was tied with a half-up fishtail twist. Her facial features had developed as her childish trait disappeared over time.

She excluded the aura of a self-dependent person...Unlike me, I always depend on Hyouri...

She confessed her love to me, a supposed villainess in the text...She knew all of my habits, hobbies, even Hyouri's existence...It meant that she had been observing me through my middle school. Instead of feeling amazed about her, I felt scared.

However, it made sense. Unknowingly, I've hung her up for 5 years without my knowledge. When people fall in love, they would do their best to understand the other party. Like Charlotte's situation, the other party was me...

I realized that my disguise didn't work against the child of luck in this world. Like the plot of transmigrating as a villainess, the main cast all fell in love with the reincarnated Oujo-sama inexplicably. My situation got the same plotline as the main heroine had confessed her love to me...

What did I do? How could I make her fall in love with me despite being rooted in my homeroom most of the time? Just appearing in front of her, then bum...She fell in love with me at first sight? Or did I take away the number 1 position from her in the Piano competition?

As I tried to make sense of the reason why she loved me, more and more questions popped up without any definite answer.

5 years...

I questioned myself if I could wait that long...Even I, myself, gave up on my first love Erika after 2 years, but 5 years...It was quite exaggerated, wasn't it? But it was true for Shinonawa-san...

She knew me all...Yet, did I know her?

The answer was obvious because I just considered her as a paper figure in the novel. Recalling the past, it seemed that I didn't know her in the slightest. What were her hobbies? I just remembered her image playing piano and helping me in my daily life...Nothing else popped up in my mind. Then, what were her hobbies? She liked...what?

I knew she liked some spicy foods and cold drinks, but it was a string of words describing her in the novel...What about her in my reality? It seemed that I couldn't remember or I just simply didn't care...

How heartless was I?

Those shining orbs in her eyes shouldn't appear on her face because of me...I hated the teardrops from Maiden.

I knew...But...

I ran away immediately...

Without Hyouri, I wouldn't know what to do next...

She didn't tell me how to answer the Rose Princess.

She didn't tell me how to reject appropriately.

She didn't tell me how to maintain this superficial friendship.

She didn't give me any direction to decide whether to accept her confession or not.

Hyouri's choice was the best way for me to keep myself in my comfort zone.

She didn't appear or say anything...

It was like God wanted me to choose for myself instead of relying on Hyouri all the time.

My only weapon left was my emotionless facade outside but it was useless against the heroine. After all, it couldn't prevent her from peeping straight into my soul.

I was tired as my brain couldn't work anymore. Many thoughts and events made me overload.

Speaking of which, before the confession...Maria-Onee-sama and Tenonji-senpai...

They created a chance for her, did they?

Ah, I didn't want to think anymore....Conspiracy...It burned my brain...

I hoped that Hyouri would call me again.

It was time for me to work in my aunt's company, and then play with Rei and my family tonight.

...

Hell, no...It was already evening. There was still no signal from Hyouri.

My mind was in an insecure state as I could only maintain my cover to deal with people. An emotionless facade was the only thing that I could rely on for now.

"Merry Christmas"

The superficial words that I could only spit out when being with my family...

Receiving Santa's gifts, I returned to my room and closed the door despite my sisters and parents discussing something.

I just wanted to retreat to my own nest.

I made other attempts to enter my mindscape...It was no use. What did you expect, Suiri? Hyouri left you...She was a liar!!!

It was like I didn't have her in the first place.

I was lying in the bed and looking at my room's ceiling. 

Strange...

If I didn't have her, why did I maintain this emotionless facade?

For a moment...

I figured it out...My cold facade was due to my problem, not her. Why did I blame her for this defective facial muscle?

I was tired.

I missed her already.

How many times did the thought 'I was tired' appear in my mind today? If I just complained slightly, I could've just swapped with her to rest while Hyouri would take my place.

Closing my eyes, I could only hope that she would greet me gently like every day. Maybe she would help me solve the crisis and the heroine's confession.

It must be so...Hyouri would come back...

Goodbye, the world, I'm off.

26th, December.

Instead of being called to wake up by Hyouri, my biological clock kicked in, making my eyes open slowly to welcome a postday of Christmas. There was still no signal from Hyouri...

I could only sigh dumbfoundedly...

Without her...How could I live?

Without her advice, the border of my comfort zone was greatly threatened.

It was made from glass. Just one force could shatter my zone immediately.

You forced me to be self-dependent, did you? Hyouri...

I muttered her name helplessly in my mind.

Soon, Mitsugu-Onee-san helped me with the outfit and hair.

I pretended that yesterday was just a nightmare...But reality slapped me hard.

"Sui-chan..."

Maria-Onee-sama called out to me. Mitsugu-Onee-san also knew the etiquette and retreated from my room.

"Yes"

I replied casually but my heart was tense...

"I respect your choice, but you need to change, you know"

She said gently.

"Eh?"

I was surprised...

"Actually, you could be with anyone you love, but..."

"We don't want you to rely on your imaginary friend"

"..."

"I knew you had already suspected me and my fiancee behind the confession yesterday"

"But her feelings are all real"

"..."

"Charlotte is a good girl"

She said so, and I knew that...Her feelings were all real to me. The proof was the teardrop from her due to my heartlessness. I didn't realize her feelings in the first place.

"So, you also knew?"

I looked at her in disbelief.

She nodded her head and said.

"We all knew...We're waiting for you to be honest but you didn't move"

"Instead, you keep running and running"

"We?"

"Yes, we...Our parents also knew"

I thought our performance didn't cause any suspicion but...Parents knew their children the best...It turned out that they didn't uncover our acting.

I had nothing to refute because it was true...I kept running and pushed all the problems onto Hyouri's shoulders. To my surprise, my family in this life, all knew about Hyouri's existence...I thought that they didn't realize our difference but it seemed that the truth proved me wrong.

My family in this life loved me more than I thought!!!

"But where is she?"

She asked.

Since they all knew, Onee-sama must've been curious why I didn't swap with her...

"I don't know"

I shook my head helplessly.

*sniff*

Without Hyouri, my emotions got unstable as no one could maintain my facade anymore.

My drought eyes began to get wet as my inner emotion exploded.

My frustration, my sorrows, my loneliness, and my guilty conscience for hurting my family members in this life.

"Uwa!!!"

And my loss of Hyouri.

I hugged my face because this was the first time I'd vented out my inner emotion without Hyouri's help.

I cried out loud for the first time in my life.

Maria-Onee-sama gently hugged me into her chest while waiting for me to vent out.

"But...she isn't my imaginary friend!!!"

"Yes"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry~, hic~"

"Yes..."

"I'm sorry..."

"I lied...and didn't give my trust to you all~"

I kept giving apologies...

*sniff*

"I'm not worthy of being the daughter of the Hoshiyuki family"

"I'm sorry"

I cried and pushed my inner thoughts out of my head because it was so heavy.

I wanted to throw it away so that my mind could be weighed less.

*Sigh*

Onee-sama sighed a little but I didn't care. I wanted someone to lean on...I wanted someone to help me...In my opinion, Maria-Onee-sama was one of the best candidates for me to share the burden...

Without Hyouri, I couldn't find anyone to be on the same side as me.

I was scared when I thought that I had to be alone in the future.

I was afraid of that future...

I didn't want to be alone.

I hated it.

Then, I had to take a risk...

Onee-sama...Help me, please.

Hyouri left me...I didn't want a future without anyone. I didn't want to be alone...

"Sui-chan..."

*Sniff*

I took a deep breath on her chest.

Her scent and pheromone somehow calmed me down.

"You idiot"

"Who asks you to compress your emotions for so long?"

"Uwa~"

I continued to cry out loud and I didn't know how long I could cry so far.

My face must've become a mess by then.

I snuggled in her arms, and soon I couldn't let out any tears at the moment.

Ah...

So comfortable...

It was like a burden in my mind disappearing. Why didn't I do this earlier? After venting all of these, my mind felt like being refreshed.

"Calm down?"

Maria-Onee-sama asked.

"Um"

I nodded in her arms and said.

"So...Can you trust 'us' now?"

She said.

I was a little hesitant as I could only keep my mouth shut. Should I trust them? Or shall I leave my comfort zone?

"Geez~"

"Then, to gain your trust, let me share first"

"Actually, I'm not as perfect as you imagine in your mind"

"Eh?"

I was puzzled. What was wrong with her? My superior sister just admitted that she wasn't perfect, wasn't she? Unbelievable!!!

"You know, I was jealous of you in the past"

"But..."

"Let me say first"

"..."

"After all, you didn't know that you once took away the heir position of the Hoshiyuki family after you showed your monstrous learning ability in the past"

"Sui-chan, at that time, I couldn't swallow my anger and vent it under the disguise of strictness"

"The human heart is ugly like that"

"I'm no exception"

"I'm sorry, Sui-chan"

"..."

There was a silence in my room as I tried to recall the event in the past. At that time, I thought that she was trying to correct me to fit the title of the daughter of the Hoshiyuki family. Then, it was the result. How big did my butterfly wings' effect cause to change the plot of this novel?

"Ah, finally, I could confess my sins to you"

"Ahaha~"

She smiled to release her inner emotions.

Eh? I watched her mono-dialogue strangely. Was it so? I became my sister's shadow in her heart instead, but... sister, you didn't know that I had a cheat. My mental age was older than you. Plus, you could skip grades to follow Mom to work in the big technology company...I couldn't do like you.

Then, what's about me?

"Sui-chan, no one is perfect"

"Our family members aren't perfect either"

"Didn't you also release 'nobody's perfect' in the past?"

"Our parents are also imperfect"

"They showed preferential treatment to you and didn't care about my feelings at all"

"You know, your imaginary...I mean your friend inside your body putting us into the passive state"

"When we tried to help you, you immediately swapped with her"

"You run, run, and run again"

"How can we help you?"

"You can't expect that we always meet your criterion, your standard"

"We're human...Not God nor an A.I programmed to satisfy your mood"

"Life is full of ups and downs, Suiri"

"Please...Sui-chan"

"Trust us"

Maria-Onee-sama held both of my shoulders and contacted me with her eyes. These reddish shining red eyes were looking at me with hope...expectation...and love.

What she just said made so much sense and I didn't have any excuses to run again. All were due to my fear...

"Now, it's your turn, Sui-chan"

Ah...I knew...

I needed to move on...

A door...

The door in front of me symbolized the room of my comfort zone. Once I stepped out of it, no way I could turn back. However, the room had only me...No Hyouri...No...

'You still have us'

That was right. I still had my spirit children..."Past life"...You had grown up...

'Go'

"..."

Wait a minute...Why did it look like some virgin protagonists of some novels from Shounen comics? Hold up...I admitted that I was still a virgin.

Suddenly, when this thought popped out, the mood in my head was extinguished before it could fire all out.

Fine...

Wasn't it just to step out of my comfort zone?

However, it was still scary...

"Onee-chan"

Maria-Onee-sama widened her eyes in disbelief and hugged me tightly. However, I had to say out loud...This was my only chance that I couldn't let it escape.

"Yes"

"Finally, you called me Onee-chan again, Sui-chan~"

She got emotional over my address, didn't she? What I was going to talk about would blow her mind. However, I would tell her vaguely.

"Do you believe in 'Past life'?"

"Eh?"

She looked at me once more time while I was looking back to wait for her reaction. After all, this kind of thing was beyond the common sense of this world.

"That piece 'Past life'"

"No"

I shook my head to express my disagreement.

"Can you be more specific?"

She asked.

"Fuu~"

I took a deep breath and sat on the bed. Luckily, Mitsugu-Onee-san had left us to speak...

"Actually..."

"I have a memory of a deceased and tragic musician..."

When I finished speaking, I expected that she would look at me like some of mental retards...But no...She nodded her head to express her understanding and tried to make sense of everything I said.

"So..."

"That's why you're afraid of relationships"

"Yeah..."

"It makes sense now"

"Sui-chan, I don't know what you have inherited from that musician but I want you not to be trapped in those memories"

"Let's live for you now"

She encouraged.

"I knew"

"But I was scared..."

Then, I talked vaguely about my previous life.

"Being framed by the best friend...Everyone in his family isn't willing to believe him"

"Losing an unrequited crush"

"It's like the world turning back against him"

"I was scared of that future"

I grabbed the plushie cat nearby and hugged it on my chest.

"What? So tragic~"

"Sh~~~"

Outside the door, it seemed that two people were eavesdropping our conversation. I knew it...But I didn't get angry...Instead, I felt it was funny and realized that my family in this life indeed loved me from the bottom of their heart.

It seemed...

What was outside of the comfort zone wasn't that bad...

I thought that my sister and parents would give me away to the mental hospital.

Yeah, they were still willing to listen to my nonsense in their opinion...

Ah...I wanted to brag about these kinds of things to Hyouri...But she didn't seem to be there.

I was tired...

However, this was worth the courage that I had used...

"Sui-chan, I'm sorry...I'm also not worthy of being your parents"

Natasha-Okaa-sama said.

"We knew you had a problem with your emotions but dragged on too long because we didn't know how to deal with your running and another personality inside you"

"Not to mention, we didn't even know where your problem came from"

"Your mother's right...However, after listening to your story, although it was unbelievable, it made sense with your behaviors until now"

Shiori-Okaa-sama also spoke.

"So that's the reason why you're so smart and mature earlier than your actual age"

"But Sui-chan, we're not the parents of that musician..."

Shiori-Okaa-sama addressed strongly.

"That was your fault for judging us the same as them"

"Yes"

I said depressively...She was right and I also knew that I was wrong when having such a prejudice. After all, I kept making excuse after excuse to make myself more comfortable...

"Sui-chan, where is that girl?"

Natasha-Okaa-sama spoke.

I knew that she was implying to Hyouri.

"I don't know...I can't contact her anymore...She'd left me"

The three of them looked at each other and communicated by eye contact.

"Sorry for making you sad, but honestly, we felt relieved when she'd disappeared"

"Otherwise, we couldn't have had a decent conversation in depth with you, Sui-chan"

Natasha-Okaa-sama held her forehead and said.

Ugh...Sorry for keeping running.

I was also sad when Hyouri disappeared but I gained a connection with my family. Just having a deep conversation with them, I could easily solve the burden in my mind. Why didn't I tell them honestly in the first place?

I could live my life to the fullest...But Hyouri once said I would throw her away to live with the people of this world like how the enemies in my past life stabbed me in the back.

I recalled our conversation in the toilet of the Stardust Academy...She seemed to know this would happen but the price that I would lose her...But I was greedy as I wanted her as well...

However, how to find her back or communicate with her?

"Sui-chan, since you're afraid of being a plagiarist like that musician, why don't you become one?"

"???"

"???"

"???"

Natasha-Okaa-sama suggested.

What the hell did you just suggest to your own daughter?

Did you want to kill her by making her a criminal?

Both Shiori-Okaa-sama and Maria-Onee-sama unconsciously took a step back, and looked at Natasha-Okaa-sama strangely. I was also no exception so I could only show a puzzled look.

"What?"

" Did I say something wrong?"

She spoke puzzlingly.

"Ah...I mean Sui-chan's scared and hated being labelled as a Plagiarist like that musician in her mind. Why doesn't she become one so that she could have fewer burdens in her mind?"

"Oh, oh, understood"

"It must be your experience as an actress, right? Nat-chan"

Shiori-Okaa-sama said.

"Yes, yes, yes"

"Instead of being afraid of that role, let's become one so that you can understand the POV and I want to suggest Sui-chan composing such a song to vent her emotions and shadows of that musician"

"And"

"I'm not harming my daughter to make her a criminal"

She puffed up her large chest and raised her nose to the sky with a smug look.

Oh, why don't I think of it? What if I'm a plagiarist? What if I steal others' pieces?

Inspiration lightened up the creative fire in my mind as the lyrics began to write in my mind. The unborn spirit began to condense under my naked eyes...I couldn't help but feel excited when composing a new song.

I got a name to label him. He should be called...

"Plagiarism"