Tricked Into A NewLife, God Must Be Screwing With Me!

9-3 Spring



Since it's been such a long time since the last chapter, I flipped the order and am doing Stahlia before Nikita. I've not written a recap, but have tried to insert reminders organically into the text. ("The last time I saw him, we were ___" type of thing.)

 

Also, and this is news to me as well, Tricked apparently released on Kindle Unlimited. Some asshat used an AI, grabbed the fic, and did some light editing. The title is my tag list on Scribblehub lmao. I've already filed a takedown notice, but thought it was funny enough to point at, and wanted to clarify that it wasn't me, if anybody stumbled across it by happenstance.

Stahlia

After bidding my farewells to Benji and the two captured beastkin, I returned to my chambers. According to Jacqueline, Tlaloc should be returning soon. It would fall to me to keep the errant grand spirit entertained by playing along with the farce that she was somehow my mother. It was worth it in the long run; she was powerful, and had been integral to the initial plan in concentrating the pirate’s fleet in one place.

Even now, she’s run- swimming around to keep a lookout. Although, if anyone comes after us after seeing my anti-army spell, I suppose having someone like her to deal with them would be good.

That she would be useful did not mean that I enjoyed what I had to do to keep her and I sent my real mother a silent apology in my heart.

“Now then, I feel sufficiently recovered and have accomplished everything I wanted to. Jacqueline, Frieda, who needs what from me?” It was a small lie; I still wanted to look into Felicity’s situation more, but appraising her hadn’t revealed anything I didn’t already know. A few of her stats had gone up, and her Talents had all risen at the usual Demon-of-Envy-Enhanced rate, but nothing that struck me as concerning.

And, of course, neither of the captives knew anything useful.

As it turned out, the only officers who had surrendered to us were on their admiral’s shit list. As such, they had been quick to capitulate, but in turn, knew nothing strategically valuable. That trend continued with what they were able to tell me about the culture and people of the beast tribes. As far as I could tell, they were relative nobodies on the mainland and had only acquired their status in the fleet because someone needed to be handed all of the recruits from less warlike tribes.

There wasn’t anything concrete about Felicity’s condition either. Just something about how those chosen or in contact with the gods would undergo a transformation and grow an extra tail. Rumors, myths. The only really useful thing had been the anecdote that the Winter Champion was a member of the fox tribe named Nikita, and she was the only two-tailed beastkin currently alive in the Beast Country of Sinion.

All in all, it had been an exercise in frustrating futility. Like walking up to a random Englishman and asking him all the ways his culture was different from America’s. We both knew the propaganda and the stereotypes, but nobody was familiar with the minutia nor the reason behind those things.

Jacqueline shared a rapid-fire nonverbal conversation with Frieda before skipping a step and letting the latter move ahead of her in our procession. Frieda bowed her head slightly, then answered my question.

“Sir Franklin would like to see you, if possible. Some of the mages who regained consciousness a day ago have been pestering for an audience as well. Then, there is the matter of your former squire.”

I felt my face blanche and instinctively tried to touch a cheek, only for my arm not to respond.

Damn thing.

Scowling slightly, I threaded a sliver of mana through the limb and completed the action. However, the cursed flesh didn’t accomplish the goal of checking my complexion. Instead, I had the disconcerting experience of a cold, clammy thing brushing against my cheek while my brain was certain I should be feeling my face through my hand. It was like being under a local anesthetic, except without the ability to feel pressure in the sleeping limb. I shivered, and this time not at the memory of the overly pushy mage captain.

“Send a runner to Franklin and invite him to dinner… No, Tlaloc will have returned by then. Schedule something for tomorrow; we will probably need a lot of time. The Mages are… denied. In fact, assign them extra training with someone who can teach them proper etiquette. As for my squire, you mean Giogi?”

I noted one of the minor maids, Beatrice, fade out of sight as she broke from the group. Frieda curtsied, “Yes, Squire Giogi. He has not personally requested to see you, however there are… rumors.”

I eyed Jacqueline, “Rumors… relating to Jacqueline’s proposal?”

Jacqueline had, shortly after I woke up, inferred that Giogi might make a better assassin than a knight. She had suggested that he should be recruited into the rebuilt Order of Shadows.

Frieda nodded, “Of a sort. It is known that My Lady taught Sir Giogi Swordplay in Ris.”

And so people are beginning to wonder if that’s all I taught him. After all, he did fare quite well on his own.

However, there was one immediate problem with Frieda’s proposal: meeting Giogi could easily further the rumors. That was probably why Jacqueline hadn’t suggested it herself. I questioned Frieda about that, but she was of the opinion that it would be worse if I ignored him. Taking everything into account… As much as I liked Jacqueline, I felt that Frieda’s thought process held more merit in this case.

“Then have somebody fetch him. He is only a squire, so be careful not to summon him brashly.”

If we weren’t careful, it might appear as though I was too concerned. It wouldn’t do for Giogi to be pulled away from some other task while surrounded by witnesses. I needed to look like I simply wanted to congratulate him on a job well done, perhaps play into the master-student dynamic.

Meeting him now should be a good time. It’s not the first thing I’ve done after waking up, but I’m also not putting it off… Hmm.

In theory, I should have met with the high nobility first, but they were on the Jewel of Gaia’s Crown, and we were giving me a few more days before making the crossing. Since Giogi was here now and wasn’t my first priority, it should avoid any needless political issues.

An hour later, I had the boy in my sitting room whereupon, seeing me, he had immediately dropped to one knee and bowed low. It was the proper social action for him to take, and I didn’t have the right to feel slighted, seeing as how I had literally forgotten he existed on more than one occasion. I raised a hand,

“Enough. You may stand.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.” Giogi stood, and stood into a stiff parade rest.

He was smaller than me now after overusing my Authority had caused me to skip a few years of physical aging, but he would probably be taller soon enough. As it was, I was still able to look down at him. Like Edith. I shook my head wryly.

“Sit. Or stand, I don’t care.” I let my voice slip back into the backwater drawl of our village, then seated myself, “I’ve been given a report of how you comported yourself from Sir Justin; now I want to hear the account from you.”

To his credit, Giogi didn’t seem taken aback by the sudden shift, though he eyed Frieda and Sasha warily. When neither woman seemed put out, he gingerly lifted his shoulders from parade rest but opted to remain standing. That was fine; it meant I could look him in the eye.

“Then, does Your Highness want to know about…?” He trailed off, suddenly uneasy.

He’s hiding something?

Suddenly, things were going a lot different than I thought they would. This was meant to be a simple visit to pass the time until Tlaloc returned. An excuse to forestall other things I found less pleasant to deal with. A method to start a beneficial rumor and raise morale, “Look, the Queen is concerned one of her first men fought a powerful foe!” Now, it was becoming an interrogation.

Too much intrigue, too many suspicious circumstances, had turned me cynical. I was always at the center of the plotting and scheming of those beyond my own understanding, and it had come to necessitate a particular outlook. And all of those raw nerves and sixth senses were screaming out that something about Giogi was important, that he knew something.

My eyes narrowed. Giogi flinched.

“What happened on that ship?” My question was simple, my voice harder than I’d have liked.

“M-Mortis was there!” Giogi squeaked, then peered at me. His arms had come up half defensively, half emphatically.

I fell back into my chair, stunned. That was both easier, and more complicated than expected. Giogi had volunteered the secret without needing prodding. But the nature of that secret…

A moment later I’d recovered enough to give orders to my staff, “Everyone out. Sasha, Jacqueline, and Frieda stay. Jacqueline, secure the room.”

Why was one of the gods here?

The last time Mortis had been in my vicinity was when I’d first encountered the Demon of Lust, Sitri. We’d spoken briefly then, and he’d been the one to tell me it was a demon we were after. Once all of my people save the three named had departed, and only after Jacqueline had assured me that the room was secure, I again addressed Giogi. He was shivering, and his teeth were softly chattering with a fear quite unlike his old personality. Quite unlike someone who’d survived a battle not five days before.

“I am so very sorry about scaring you, but it seems you have become involved in something quite troublesome. Please, calm yourself, and then I need to know exactly what the God of Death was doing on my battlefield.”

I sat back and waited. Sasha began preparing refreshments, while Frieda hovered over Giogi in a motherly fashion so as to help calm him. After a few minutes, he finally managed to speak again.

“S-sorry, your highness… I though you were about to order my execution.”

That raised an eyebrow. What could have made him think I would punish him for something so far beyond his control? Maybe for hiding information, but even then, could I? Probably, if I needed to, but it wouldn’t be an easy order to give.

“Perish the thought. But, I need to know everything now. Rest assured, you are not in trouble.”

And how did you even see him to know it was him? I had to have my mana rearranged before I could perceive divine beings.

“R-right. Well, f-from what he said, he was there because someone created a lot of work. H-He was complaining before he realized I had seen him.”

And then the damn broke, and Giogi began to speak in a stream of consciousness. He’d been keeping all of this to himself out of fear he would be chastised. And when you thought about it, who could blame him? Did a god appear and give him an oracle? To anyone other than me, my inner circle, and the priesthood, it would sound like the ravings of man whose mind had shattered. Soldiers were all appraised regularly to track their growth; Giogi’s lack of the [Oracle] Skill would be documented.

“He was bemoaning the actions of this girl; he called her the ‘Rulebreaker.’ Apparently, she caused a lot of problems for him. But then after I saw him, he got interested, he looked at me really close, then grinned and got kind of happy. He said something about an announcement, then was wondering if she, that is, the rulebreaker I think, would get upset when she found out. Then he, he called me by name, and he said…”

I missed Giogi’s last words for the words echoing in my minds eye. But he was probably saying that Mortis had named him,

“The Champions of Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter have been named. The Primordial Tlaloc has invoked the Writ of Names and joined with Chaos. The Monarchs of Lust, Hate, Sloth, Pride, Envy, Gluttony, and Prophecy have successfully Advented. This is a notice to all players: the board is set, let the games begin.”

Giogi had been pulled into something troublesome indeed.


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