Tricked Into A NewLife, God Must Be Screwing With Me!

The end of the week saw me preparing to board a carriage in the middle of a sea of men. The "entourage" provided to me for this outing. Nearly a thousand people total; I had been afforded a battalion of soldiers and a company of the Royal Knights. Granted, both were on the smaller side of things, but still.

This is nominally supposed to be a diplomatic mission to the neighboring kingdoms. Is it a good idea for me to be so heavily armed?

Drakan diplomacy had always favored a robust approach, but with what I had here…

No, I can always send them back if it causes trouble. But, for now, best to trust the experts.

It was a fact that my diplomatic knowledge was lacking. If it weren't for the fact that I was both the Queen and champion-in-name, we would have been better served to send a count or one of the dukes. As things were, I was too far involved to just stay back and assist our local forces.

And even if this is a drastic departure from the norm, that should hopefully win a few favors.

It was decidedly uncharacteristic of Drakan politics to send the champion abroad rather than keep them close to defend the homefront. Our neighbors should be caught off guard when I announced myself. As we approached the time for departure, I was more anxious about this whole affair than anything I had done previously.

It would not be inaccurate to say that the weight of the entire country and, to an extent, the rest of the world was presently resting with the success of my mission. Without the champions, defeating the hell kings would be nigh on impossible. I could probably manage one or two of them independently, but I would have to level up a lot more first. Even disconnecting from the system, a suicide play, I likely couldn't do more than one on one.

I should have been giving more thought to this these past few months, but I was so caught up with Jacqueline and all…

"Frieda, how much longer?" Frieda had fallen into the role of my head maid these past few days.

"Just another minute; once the music starts." Sasha was still with Jacqueline, and while they were both coming along, I was in Frieda's hands for now.

They should be in one of the carriages following mine. My family as well… I hope everyone is going to be alright…

In particular, I was concerned about Rosial and Felicity. Rosin would probably be fine, but those two both had reasons to dislike large crowds. Hopefully, they would be able to stay out of sight until…

The music started, meaning it was time for me to depart. I roused myself and took my position near the door leading out into the palace's grand entrance. Very gingerly, to avoid disturbing the maid's efforts earlier today, I felt my face to verify I was smiling. This was just another ceremony, was what I kept telling myself. A pair of knights in ceremonial armor waited for a specific lul in the arrangement before they swung the large doors open for me, revealing Rupert and a large number of nobles.

As the music kicked off, I made my way toward the carriage. Pausing just long enough to lock arms with Rupert, I made my way down the walkway. He had just given a speech to those assembled, announcing and publicly detailing my trip's purpose: finding the other champions. A mere formality as knowledge about my departure had already been disseminated through the rumor mill. The true event was not with the onlooking nobles but to follow with the commoners of the upper, middle, and lower cities.

“I heard what happened with Sasha.” He spoke in a low voice, lest he be overheard, “Should I arrange a new head maid for you? One a bit closer to your own age?”

What? No, her age has nothing to do with that… But I can sort of see why he might think that, maybe?

I answered equally as low, “No… things are fine; her assignment is temporary. A favor for Jacqueline, who has done so much for me. Also, a minor punishment for Sasha, who spoke out of turn… It was her request.”

Rupert tensed his arm slightly, acknowledging that he had both heard and understood me.

My entourage would pass through several cities and large towns on my way to the border. For many, this would be the only chance they had to see the queen. Consequently, we expected people to turn out in somewhat obscene numbers as villagers filtered in from the surrounding regions.

"Stahlia." Rupert's whisper again reached me just as we came to the carriage.

Turning to face him, I stepped closer and tilted my head slightly to indicate that I had heard him.

He too stepped closer, and we met in a chaste embrace; a performance for the watching nobles, "Stahlia… I will ensure that you have a country to return to, so… make sure you return."

Having said that, we separated. Rupert held out his hand and helped me board the carriage, leaving me perplexed as I went to take my place in the parade caravan.

What, what was that? The way he whispered it, there's no way anyone could hear or read his lips… those words were just between us! Make sure I come back? What the hell is he on about!? Surely it isn't anything like that… It would be a huge morale blow if I were to die or otherwise fail to return. That's it; plus, the Royal Line isn't secure. Though he doesn't need me for that, if something happened, he could simply marry Edith in another two years. Yea, it's just that I've gotten myself entangled in various things. Spymaster, liaison with the monsters, Autumn Champion, figurehead of a sub-faction of noblewoman… not all of those shoes could so easily be fill-

Sasha's voice interrupted my runaway thoughts, "My lady. You seem perturbed."

"Ah! Sasha? I was not expecting to see you yet. …When and how did you get here?"

She bowed her head lightly, "A moment before we departed, Miss Frieda informed me that something seemed amiss with you. She wasn't sure how to proceed, so I thought it wise to switch with her for a bit; she is surprisingly capable given her dubious origins, but at times like this… My apologies if I have overstepped at all."

Yes, but when did you switch… Whatever. Did something seem amiss with me? So it was showing on my face after all.

I carefully checked the other two maids in the carriage with me. Both of them were giving me a sideways look and carrying on a furtively whispered conversation while taking care to never let their mouths face toward me. I enhanced my ears with Blood Magic.

"Yes, ever since my lady boarded. She's been smiling, but it isn't like her normal one."

"I saw what you mean. My lady was smiling sort of, only halfway. Maybe she was uncomfortable?"

"And my lady's hands! They were a bit unsettled as well. The way she grasped the cup, clearly distracted…."

"Whatever it is, the head seems to have sorted it out."

"Still, considering everything that has happened to my lady… she has always managed to bear it."

"Then, is there something about this mission? Did you see my lady embrace his Highness? Maybe he said something?"

"Hush, mere words would never elicit that sort of reaction."

Terminating my enhancements, I shook my head to clear it. Sasha gave me a questioning look of her own; I hadn't made any honest attempt to hide what I'd been focusing on. The fact that neither of the two spies had caught on was somewhat impressive in its own right; I had been pretty blatantly staring at them for almost twenty seconds.

I probably don't need to do anything with them being that incompetent. Whatever they report to their families will be rife with errors and assumptions…

"It's nothing. Forgive me, Sasha. Rupert simply said something exceptionally sweet, and it gave me pause." It would be a lie if I said seeing the two maids stiffen suddenly didn't give me some sense of satisfaction.

It shouldn't do any harm if their families hear that. Better than them jumping to their own wrong conclusions and triggering some new form of unrest.

Before anyone could press the issue, I employed the favored tactic of diplomats and politicians everywhere; ignore and then change the subject, "How much longer until we exit the Noble Quarter?"

Seeing an opportunity, Sasha directed a poignant gaze to one of the other two, who shrank back under the weight of her superior's stare before rattling off the answer.

"Ah! Uhm, forgive me, my lady, we have, ahem, we have just passed the Gilgan Arch, so we should be in view of the gates within a minute."

Though she fumbled a bit, the answer seemed to satisfy Sasha as she gave a satisfied nod. I raised a falsely bemused eyebrow toward Sasha before announcing, "Then, I should go up to the roof. Sasha, since you are not supposed to be here…."

Trailing off, I let my gaze wander over to the two gossip stones. Sasha caught on and placed her hand on her chin in a show of thoughtful consideration. Both of her juniors realized what was being discussed roughly simultaneously, shared a look, and blanched white.

"My lady, I believe Miss Beatrice would be the best to accompany you. Miss Peoni is somewhat afraid of heights."

Beatrice's shoulders slumped, to her credit, nearly imperceptibly. Peoni, on the other hand, was much more overt in her relieved sigh, a fact Sasha immediately noted if her subtle frown was anything to go by.

You can't go running away from crowds forever. Not if you're going to serve a Queen. Nice touch, Sasha. Stressing the miss to drive home the point that their own noble status means nothing in my presence. I wonder if Frieda was being ignored while I was spaced out.

Whatever the case, disciplining the maids was only my job when Sasha said it was. While I enjoyed having a bit of fun at their expense, the time for that had now passed.

"Then, Beatrice, I shall have you accompany me." The bespoke maid gave a short curtsy and a slightly dejected "Yes, my lady" before moving to one of the carriage walls.

This carriage was a bit special in a few ways. For starters, it had three interior rooms. Though they were all small, there was a bedroom for me, the sitting area we were in now, and a space for the maids to rest and prepare simple items. It was also enchanted in a few ways other than the standard, and nonstandard, fortifications. Two standouts were the axle, which had some sort of variable friction mechanism, and a full-length mirror that doubled as a magic communicator. The axle made pulling easier; we only needed eight horses despite the size. The mirror enabled visual and audio communication over long distances, though the mana usage was exorbitant, so it was more of a luxury than anything else. What could be said of the carriage as a whole was that it was an excessive indulgence.

Though this is the diplomatic carriage, so it makes sense. We want it to leave an impression on our host nations and serve as a testament to Drakan might. Plus, I'll be living in it off and on for the near future, so I really can't complain.

The other way the carriage was unique was the roof. From the central sitting room, a ladder was hidden behind a door disguised as carved paneling. That led to a roof access hatch. The top of the carriage had a waist-high barrier around it and another set of benches. It was, in short, a functional parade float. This was the ladder Beatrice opened for me, then scaled. After following her up, I first greeted the two knights riding there, then took my seat; the Noble's Gate was visible directly ahead of us. Beyond it, incalculable faces and bodies all blurred together into one massive blob of people.

"Well, look lively, Beatrice; you have the easy job, just stand behind me and look pretty. Consider; they will pay no more than a glance to you. I'll be attracting all of that attention." Hopefully, that would do a little to lessen my maid's tension.

Her eyes widened in momentary surprise, and she stuttered, but it seemed like she was able to calm down slightly, "T-thank you, m'lady."

Good. It would be a poor look if my attendants appeared terrified. And, like it or not, they'll have to deal with these situations time and time again. I'm not the only one who didn't get a learning period; it's sink or swim.

At least in my case, I had experience dealing with crowds. Not that it was ever easy. I took a deep breath and stood up from my seat just as the carriage passed through the gates to the upper city. Pasting a smile on my face and waving to nobody in particular, if I let my eyes sort of gloss over people, their perception would fool them into thinking that I was looking at them specifically. That was the method I had developed for dealing with crowds; avoid looking at anyone while appearing to be looking at everyone.

The trip through the city proceeded in that way and was largely uneventful. Some people shouted and cheered, and I directed waves toward the sources of those noises. Other people seemed hesitant, the ones that had yet to form an opinion of me or didn't care; most of the lower city fell into this category. I carried my head high for these people, hoping to inspire some confidence. Though I had no idea if it would work or not. The vast majority of people were reserved but receptive; they did not make much noise, but they waved back more often than not.

There's just so much happening all at once; people don't know what to think. From what I witnessed today and the reports being funneled through the Adventurers' Guild, Rupert and I have the majority's support. I'll content myself knowing that there were no attacks, or if they were, they were thwarted before I knew about them.

Once my carriage had cleared the city perimeter, Beatrice made to go back inside until I stopped her, "We aren't done yet; there are the slums still to go."

She couldn't prevent her face from scrunched up in disgust or retorting, "Truly? You mean to look at that?"

I nodded, "I do, and you will be here with me. I had wanted to walk for this part, but Rupert rejected the idea in light of the ongoing threats. So that is now two things you should be grateful for."

"Two things…? My lady, I do not,"

"The second is that Sasha did not hear you nor witness your actions just now. Therefore, I will refrain from mentioning them, but I suggest you mind your tone in the future."

I really don't need to lose any of my personnel when traveling. Sasha would probably want to dismiss her outright, or at least restrict her duties… I need to ask after Jacqueline’s recovery. That she was well enough to travel was in itself a miracle. Go figure.

My maid was mollified and perhaps a little frightened by the subtext of my words. She ducked her head and murmured an apology which I graciously accepted.

Eventually, we cleared the slums, and I could finally go inside. Upon entering the sitting room, Beatrice immediately excused herself to the maid's resting room. The sounds that followed suggested that the smell of the slums had bothered her greatly. Or it was the prolonged exposure to the combined stares of more people than she had seen in her entire life. Regardless, it was impressive that she had lasted as long as she had, considering that the noises were still continuing.

I pointed my finger at the wall and cast a silence spell, "Sasha, don't reprimand her for that… It was rather intense for someone of her background, I would know. Did Frieda give you my diary when you two switched?"

She nodded, "As you wish, m'lady, I will ignore the fact that she excused herself just now. As for your diary, I have it here."

"Ignore all of it. Unless she does such a thing again." She curtsied lightly and passed me the diary.

After undoing the lock, which required a bit of Blood Magic mana trickery, I wrote out an account of the departure, then signed and dated it before passing the book back to Sasha. Except that it wasn't actually a diary. Instead, this was a tool quite similar to the one used by the old Order of Shadows. A two-way communicator using written text. Keyed to my mana, it would only function if I were the user. Ferdinand held the other half and would edit my entry later to convey his reply. It was a crude method but was effectively totally secure.

"Now," I announced, "I would like to visit my family. …Peoni, please signal for a knight."

She looked a little startled to have been called over Sasha but quickly went to fulfill my request.

When my father elected to accompany my procession as far as Ris, He was provided a large carriage to transport my whole family.  In light of that, it was a fact that I would be visiting my family's carriage often as we traveled the scenic route back toward Ris. I could easily have stopped everything if I wished to, disembarked, then walked to my parents' and embarked before we resumed the journey. However, I did not want to do that.

After discussing things with Lord Aldriss, the commander of the knights, we came to a satisfactory alternative; a knight would simply ferry me on a horse led alongside his own. My security wasn't a concern while within Drakas; a procession this size made of trained men would not be hit by bandits, and every single one of them was well vetted before being given the assignment. Furthermore, we were going slow enough that I could quickly and safely make the switch with the use of my enhancements.

Doing this would also have the effect of helping to bolster morale; it would make me visible to the soldiers, especially if I used the system for other things, such as to meet with Lord Aldriss or to simply get some air. Regardless, for the time being, it meant that I could go and see my family a bit more before parting ways in a few weeks once we reached Ris.