Tricked Into A NewLife, God Must Be Screwing With Me!

Stahlia, 17 Years  Old, Eighth Month of 949

The past two days and nights had been my own personal hell. Casting such a massive spell after hyper dosing my mana, only to fall into a pseudo-coma just to wake up and do it again was the main reason. The second reason was Eris. Or more specifically, her nature as a sword of damocles hanging over me at all times. It was the truth that she could walk right into the camp and kill me while I was sleeping. None of the knights or other soldiers would even remember her passing.

But that wasn’t what concerned me; were she that capable, it was quite possible she would have done it already. I had Franklin to thank for that; he had been watching over my quarters while I was resting, by virtue of being the only one in our party who could contend with her ability. Likewise, he took his own rest during the day while I returned the favor in between dosing myself.

No, the reason Eris weighed so heavy in my mind, was because Jacqueline was presently in the palm of her hand. There was no world where Eris did not know Jacqueline had entered the city. That she would do nothing was my gamble.

I gambled Jacqueline’s life on a hunch, and it’s about to pay off. Even if she dies, it will still work out, I’ll just kill Chair Zesten myself when we get to the estate grounds. What does that say about me?

Jacqueline had been willing to go. She had already known about Eris’ abilities when she told me that the mission was possible. But that did not change the fact that I had given the order. In terms off chess, I had left my bishop exposed. Bishop, because compared to my own abilities, Jacqueline was not the Queen…

No, that analogy sort of breaks down given the pieces in play...

Gods, now I was considering people as pieces.

No matter. For good or for ill, this ends today.

“And you are certain there will be no resistance?” I asked Emmanuel, who had slipped out of the city once more. Considering his enormous size, the fact that he was getting in and out so easily was rather impressive in its own right.

His eyes darted away, not unlike a child who had been caught in a lie. I narrowed my own, and locked them on him while stretching to my full height. He still loomed over me.

“Explain.” I demanded.

“Well, in my defence, such a request is impossible. My father will always have loyalists. The fact that I’ve managed as much as I have in just two days, while still keeping you informed personally is already-”

“Enough.” I cut him off, “I do not recall asking you to personally make a daily report to me. In fact, I believe I did not so much as request that you do anything more than spread stories and drum up public support. Yet now you appear before me, and inform me that you have arranged for the gates to open this evening and for a military coup d’etat? Frankly, you are absurd.”

Emmanuel hung his head. Considering the difference in our stature, the sight must have been rather surreal; an apparent giant being cowed by a halfling almost. I turned my probing eyes to Lord Alriss, “Lord Alriss, how difficult will it be to capitalize on this? I would not be so bold as to suggest we continue to strive for bloodless victory.”

Lord Alriss was looking off into the distance, his own face betraying signs of exhaustion. No doubt, keeping things running without anyone to help him was tiring, but there was little I could do to help that; if I neglected casting that spell, we would all die. Well, I could manage, as would anybody close enough to me. But the vast majority of my pocket army would perish.

At the sound of my voice calling his name, he shook his head, “My apologies, your majesty. I was lost in thought….” He glanced musingly at Emmanuel, then continued, “As to how difficult it would be, it would be extremely straightforward. Merely a case of informing the men to their new orders, then drawing up the formations and a plan of how to advance through the city. All things considered, it would be textbook warfare. Compared to… No, forgive me. It is doable.”

“Then, those are your orders. Sasha.” My maid stepped forward, waiting to hear whatever my instruction would be, “There will be no spell casting tonight. Please prepare remedies in place of the mana essence; I will need to get over my fatigue as quickly as possible.”

Lord Alriss and Sasha both bowed and curtsied respectively, then departed.

“Your majesty, if I may be so bold as to ask a question?” Emmanuel tentatively asked.

“You may, but be quick; you have your own preparations to attend to, no doubt.”

“Thank you, I have two. Firstly, what was your original plan? You gave your blade two days. No doubt, you were going to do something tonight regardless of my own accomplishments. Then, why are you granting me this favor of trust? I could easily not open the gates, and consign your men to the wind.”

“You mean, why do I not prepare to cast the spell again regardless? Because I dislike it, and if you betray me I will still survive. From there, I will simply enter the city and exterminate the demons and all of their allies personally. To the first question, I was going to break your wall, leaving the city exposed. Now, leave me to my work, and see to your own.”

Emmanuel, to his credit, was smart enough not to question me.

Well, I would cast the spell again if you betrayed me; though it would cause me a lot more harm to spike that quickly, I could still do it. If I fall into a proper coma as a result, the men can always fall back. But what I told him sounds better, and after what he’s seen me do, he should think I’m more than capable of it.

Evening of the Final Siege

That evening found me standing on top of my carriage, just outside of the effective range of any would-be archery heroes. Of course, larger projectiles, such as stones or ballistae, could still strike me here, but we would be able to see them preparing to fire.

Besides, I could always block a few of those myself or simply dodge them. Now then, it should be any moment.

The city’s defenders were rather slow to respond but were now beginning to spill out onto the wall. In their defense, we had been camped outside for three days now without actually trying anything; it was believable that they might have become a bit complacent. That said, if Emmanuel did not act soon, things could become rather sticky.

“Lord Alriss?” I queried my general, who was standing to my immediate left, my carriage providing the best vantage point from which to overlook the assembled forces.

“The men grow restless, but their hearts are brave.”

“I see.”

I did not see. Regardless of what he meant in that cryptic statement, it was clear that he did not think there was any issue. A moment later, a horn sounded from the city, cutting off my retort to Lord Alriss.

Pandemonium. That was the best way to describe what I beheld. Upon the ramparts, entire groups of men turned on their commanders. Or in some cases, a majority overwhelmed a minority. Regardless, it was clear that Emmanuel had made his move. What’s more, it seemed that my wishes were being honored to an extent; from what I could tell at distance, the rebels were favoring incapacitating their officers rather than killing them outright.

That was not to say no blood was shed; in several areas, the officer broke away and was cut down. In others, where Emmanuel did not have the total loyalty of the squad, the infighting was causing injuries and, in rare cases, deaths. Still, it was a remarkable degree of restraint on the part of his forces. In only a matter of minutes, the wall had fallen to rebel control, and the forces there began to open the gate.

“Steady men!” Alriss shouted an order, “Your majesty, how does it look?”

Lord Alriss did not have any similar ability to my divine eyes, so I answered him without fuss; intelligence was the winner of wars, “They have secured the wall. I cannot see past that, but it does not appear like the defenders have realized just yet.”

“Then we have some time…” He waited until the gate was fully open and then gave the order, “Forward march!”

The magically projected voice reverberated across the impromptu assembly field, and our men began to move as one. They did not cheer, chant, or vocalize in any way, other than the officers reiterating the order to advance. We were not here to sack the city, and such shouts would only serve to intimidate the population. Better to be the model of order.

Still, he really managed all of this? In three days? I was expecting a small group of elite soldiers to take and hold the gate mechanism. Not for the entire wall to fall…

Something wasn’t right, but for some reason, it did not feel like a trap.

“Lord Alriss, a small change of plans; once through the gates, Franklin and I are going ahead.”

This would be only a small departure, and my presence was not strictly required with the soldiers.

“Your majesty with all due respect, I would request that you not.” Lord Alriss seemed to disagree, and enough to where he was willing to directly inform me of the fact.

“And why is that? What purpose does my presence serve here?”

Fundamentally, I already knew this; it was extremely obvious after all. I was meant to be visible, plain and simple. The citizens would see the foreign queen coming through their city confidently, and the aura I was projecting would help to defuse any situations before they might arise. It was a pitiful use of my abilities.

“Other than the impact you have over the men, your presence is integral to keep things from devolving into naked resistance; by seeing your majesty escorted through their city by their own soldiers, the commoners will assume the city has been surrendered. It will add legitimacy to the coup faction, and aid in Lord Emmanuel’s takeover. If your majesty departs now, we will have a greatly increased likelihood of encountering domestic resistance.”

Though he kept himself polite and respectful, there was something underlying to his tone; it sounded as though he was a bit… upset? Perhaps tired, at the notion of explaining this to me. It was quite unlike the Lord Alriss I had grown accustomed to.

Ah, no. It makes perfect sense, I’m acting like one of those people.

After all, I had given him military control, but this marked the third time one of my whims resulted in the plan changing. After the “nobody can die” and then the “we side with Emmanuel,” I was once again planning to go off on my own, for my own reasons. Even if the reasons were good ones, it was not the way a good monarch should act. At the very least, good was not the same as good enough in this case.

“My apologies, Lord Alriss. It seems I have overlooked myself and put you out of place; Franklin and I will remain here, and keep to the plan as you have constructed.”

He bowed his head, “Thank you.”

I settled in; it was going to be a long day. On the brightside, Jacqueline should be coming back at some point during it. That in and of itself would go a long way to easing the tension I was feeling.

Why do I do this to myself? Three days of messing with my mana, sending Jacqueline into such a dangerous place, the ongoing silence of Felicity… I’ve been piling on stress like I have a death wish. At this rate, my hair will be gray by the time I get back to Drakas.

The city itself was… surprising. When I infiltrated it in my disguise some days ago, people had been tense and wary. But there had still been people going about their lives and business. Now, the streets were quiet. There were no people about and not even the cliche barking of dogs to disturb the silence. Considering the time was just after sunset now, there should have been someone about.

“Mind the buildings; keep a watch on your backs.” Lord Alriss whispered an order to one of the nearby runners, and said words quickly disseminated through the ranks.

He feels it too. Something is wrong here.

My carriage began rolling forward once more, and we worked our way up the main thoroughfare toward the Chair’s estate. Like previously, we continued to meet no resistance whatsoever.

“Lord Alriss, please inquire as to Emmanuel’s location; he is either the most successful infiltrant, or there is something very wrong here.”

Instead of attempting to dissuade me this time, Lord Alriss merely dipped his head, “I have men looking for him already; his own say he is with his father… Your majesty, I would like to breach the houses ahead before we pass.”

It took me a moment, but I realized why he was asking permission before giving the order; breaching the residences ran the risk of escalating things into a full-scale conflict with the people. It was entirely possible that they were simply laying low; Emmanuel could have instructed them not to interfere but were that the case, he would have told us before the attack.

“I trust your judgment.” If Lord Alriss believed it to be necessary, then in matters of military strategy, I would default to him.

We halted, and several small groups of men separated to move through the structures. Evidently, Emmanuel’s men had at some point fallen under Lord Alriss’ command, as each of our squads was accompanied by one of theirs. This left the wall rather undefended, but considering the attackers were already inside that was not likely to become an issue.

The buildings themselves were tall. Lord Alriss had called them “houses,” but “apartments” might have been a more accurate description. At five stories, they were the second largest structures I had actually seen in this world, behind only the Royal Palace. The first floors looked to be comprised of various shops and businesses, whilst the second and up were clearly residences; they had clothes-lines and such running across the street, affixed to windows, and a few flower displays at the higher levels.

“Then, are you fearing an ambush?” It was the only reason Lord Alriss would have taken this course of action, at least as far as I could fathom.

He nodded solemnly, “Yes; it is too quiet. If Lord Emmanuel had actually succeeded in wholly winning over the people, they would have joined our procession. Since that hasn’t happened…”

A deafening crash interrupted him, and my head jerked around, focusing on the source. One of the buildings ahead had seemingly imploded on itself leaving behind a column of smoke and dust. A moment later, a dull rumble resonated down the street, and a gout of fire erupted from all of the windows of another. Even from this distance, I Could feel the heat slightly on my skin.

Those men are dead…

“Your Majesty!” At Lord Alriss’ shout, I snapped back to the present. Just in time, as I felt my mana drain slightly; my barriers had blocked something.

Locating the source, I saw yet another one of the buildings, this one closer to us. There were archers on the roof. Archers wearing the strange not-armor of the city’s elite guards. I smiled grimly.

An ambush. That armor… So these would be the ones who have parasites. Jacqueline… No, there’s not time.

“Lord Alriss, it seems we have our answer. Your orders?”

He gave me a blank look for half a second, before grimacing, “Your majesty… please, cover the men while we regroup.”

I nodded and fixed my eyes on the rooftop.

There might be civilians up there.

That would complicate things; knocking the attackers off the roof would be easy, but I needed to avoid harming any innocents as much as possible. Going up personally was not an option; it would take me time to clear each roof. Time that would leave my own men exposed.

I really was a fool, demanding that they not kill anyone.

When confronted by the problem first hand I became intimately aware of the scale of the headache I had given my commander. There was one difference though; while a normal person might find the task impossible, I wasn’t normal. Rather than impossible, to me it was merely irritatingly inconvenient.

“Sasha, please prepare a recovery potion.” That order given, I closed my eyes and dropped into myself.

Entering my own little inner world was the best way to think quickly, though I hadn’t actually gone anywhere; I was just ignoring everything going on around me, trusting in the combination of my barrier, Franklin, and Lord Alriss to keep my body safe. The fastest way to clear that roof would be to drop a giant fireball on it. The problem with that, was the possibility of civilian casualties, and the risk of burning the building down after. Both of those could be deemed “acceptable,” but I was not willing to compromise with myself.

I need a new spell, or a permutation of the existing ones I know. The later will be faster, but messier. …I was hoping to avoid chugging mana pots today, but I guess I’ll have to deal with it. That aside, I can also continue to refine the grammar as I go…

For the spell, I selected the basic Fireball and began to incant it while carefully changing words as I went, adjusting things to fit the task at hand.

“O Fire, form a giant ball above my hand, five meters across. Fly up, explode, rain your cleansing heat upon my enemies. Burn not the wood nor stone, but rend flesh from bone, those that bear the symbol of this place. [Conflagarating Fireball]”

I finished the chant, and a massive golden fireball formed above my head loosely centered over my outstretched hand. Immediately, I felt my mana decrease by an absurd amount. Considering the degree of specificity… I was a bit surprised that it was so little.

I can probably do that three more times. The expensive part is most likely excluding the building and targeting only the people who ‘bear the mark of this city,’ the former is too specific, and the latter is too vague.

Targeting only my enemies was a possibility, but that would potentially risk harming civillians who harbored ill feeling toward me, and was possibly even more expensive. At the very least, it would need Divine Element as well as Fire, or possibly Light Element; something to enable the spell to read people’s emotional state…

I shook my head sadly; even in the middle of this, magic theory was still causing me to become distracted.

I’m about to kill a lot of people, huh?

I tossed my hand, which caused the ball to begin moving skyward. A moment later, it exploded over the roof with the accompanying symphony of panicked shouting, then screams as hell rained down. Then, there was silence, at least from that rooftop. I poured mana into my ears, heightening that sense while trying to drown out the surrounding noise. Thankfully, the sound of sobbing floated down to me from that same building, near the roof. There had been people up there, and my spell had spared their bodies.

I’ll have to arrange some form of mental care for them though… Emmanuel can do that, as penance for not warning us about this.

I turned my attention to the next building, “O Fire, form a giant ball above my hand…”