Tricked Into A NewLife, God Must Be Screwing With Me!

“Then, with the powers vested in me by my station as monarch and by my name, Rupert von Drakas, I bestow upon you the title of Queen. Rise, and stand at my side, Stahlia von Drakas und zu Ris.” Rupert’s words solidified my posting, further emphasized by two system notifications I promptly dismissed.

“Received Title: [Queen von Drakas]”

“Title Revoked: [Crown Princess]”

A quick inspection of my status revealed that [Queen von Drakas] was essentially useless; it was just a renamed copy of [Crown Princess].

“[Queen von Drakas]: Awarded to those who have ascended the throne as queen, through marriage or by birth. Effects: This title bears no effects.”

Almost involuntarily, my hand ascended and touched the cool metal circlet that had been put on my head. It was nearly identical to Rupert’s, save for being made of white gold instead of yellow. The weight was, surprisingly, imperceptible. The only thing filling my thoughts these past few days was how heavy the crown might be, both figuratively and literally.

At Rupert’s command, I ascended the steps to where he was standing. This room had been used for his coronation several days ago. We were rushing things a bit, and strictly speaking, we didn’t need the ceremony; the former king’s words had granted Rupert all the authority and power of the king. Following that, Rupert need only say the words himself, and I would be given mine.

No, the ceremony had been purely symbolic, a show. Like the faux wedding, meant to give the people some sense of security. I stepped back to the side, where a short ornate staircase awaited me, and climbed up to his level.

Just a little bit longer.

Really, I didn’t want to be here. The only reason I was owed to my duty. If it had been my decision, we would have skipped all of this and focused on making the preparations. But it had not been up to me. Rupert and Gustav, the latter now holding a minister position, had decided we wouldn’t skip the coronations. The fact that mine had been accelerated beyond what the law dictated initially was the most they would allow.

Almost time for me to do my part, then I can return to my lab.

Rupert trailed off as his part finished, “…Together, we will do everything it takes to blunt the effects of the coming calamity.”

I stepped forward from just behind him and gripped his arm lightly in a move to show unity, “This, we swear. And, I swear that I will not waste the gifts granted to me by the gods themselves. I will do my utmost to ensure the continued prosperity of our country against all that may threaten her, be they man or demon. I will not falter.”

There was a smattering of applause from the nobles and a dull roar from the streets below. My short speech, assisted by my Talents and Titles, had seemingly moved the people. That meant that my purpose here had been fulfilled. After a few moments of waving to the crowd, Rupert escorted me out of the garden and back into the palace proper.

As soon as the doors shut, cutting us off from the noble onlookers, the mask fell off, “Is there anything else that needs to be done immediately?”

Rupert frowned as a servant assisted him in doffing his overcoat, “Not immediately pressing; it would work best to delay your move until after the upcoming diplomatic trip, and speaking of that, we need to make the arrangements for your entourage… But that can wait. Please, let me know how things go.”

“I will. Sasha, Frieda, let’s go.” I knew I wasn’t being strictly proper. The way I was acting was hardly appropriate, nobles aside, there were still servants around, and they would gossip. Even knowing all that, I was practically jumping out of my skin to return to my lab. If my assumptions were correct, then the Goddess’ Draught only needed another cycle through the distiller before it would be ready to use. The most recent experiment had managed to regrow one of the palace Stawri’s missing legs, lost in a hunting accident. Usually, the monster would have been put down, but it had been covertly treated at my request.

It would probably be able to regrow her limb as-is. But for making something like a Goddess’ Draught, I feel like that would warrant a title or a notification. My [Alchemy Correction] Talent hasn’t even gone up.

That talent was currently at level four and needed about two hundred more experience to hit level five. I had gotten some experience when I first started the potion distilling and Divine Element Infusion, but that stopped after the third time. No doubt it was the repeated action penalty thing again.

I don’t want to give Jacqueline a super healing potion. No, I want to leave her better than when I first met her; it’s the least she deserves after everything she’s done for me.

It was fortunate that I had as much leeway as I did, though considering the rarity of the main ingredient, Sitri’s blood, that was perhaps inevitable. It wasn’t like this super-potion could be so easily mass-produced. Though the concentration through distillation method had some promise for regular potions, it was rather delicate to do. That was the only real reason it wasn’t done already; distilled liquor was a thing, and it wasn’t much of a leap to apply that process to potion-making.

Simply put, I had discovered that without feeding mana into the potion as it vaporized, it would destabilize. Technically possible through clever use of mana crystals, but inefficient and time-consuming. My abilities with Blood Magic were the only reason it was possible for me.

And there was that side-discovery.

My focus turned to the ring I was wearing, and I felt a small smile grace my face. It was the replacement ring Rupert had given me; I’d had Gustav affix a mana vacuum to it. An enchantment that would siphon off excess mana and store it without doing anything else. As long as the material’s threshold wasn’t exceeded, the mana could be safely stored and used as a power source for magic tools. Or, if there was no other way to drain it, I could simply have it dissipate into the air.

With this, I had regained my former abilities with fine mana control; so long as the ring still could absorb more, any excess would go into it rather than my target. Meaning my appraisal worked again. Of course, over-taxing the ring would make it crystalize and shatter like any other object. But considering the materials it was made of, that shouldn’t pose a risk unless I went seriously overboard.

Arriving at my lab, I addressed my head maid, “Sasha, the same as usual, please.”

This process was one oft-repeated, and she knew what she was expected to do by this point. Her reply, though, carried a bit of an unexpected edge, “Of course, I will ensure that nobody disturbs you… This is the last time, correct?”

I nodded, “Yes, after this… the draught should be ready… Frieda, will you please send word to Jacqueline?”

Frieda glanced at Sasha before departing with a curtsy, but the former was not finished,  “My lady, may I speak my mind?”

My eyes lingered longingly on my apparatus before switching back to my maid, “…Yes, you may.”

She only ever asks to speak freely when she’s serious about something… As much as I would like to blow her off and get to work, She wouldn’t bring something up unless it were serious…

Sasha took a deep breath and briefly shut her eyes before speaking, “...My lady, I have so far held my tongue knowing what Jacqueline means to you, but how you behaved with his highness just now was completely beyond the pale.” Her tone wasn’t accusatory, nor was it a simple reprimand; She spoke to me as though she was simply stating a fact.

She was right as well, as much as I didn’t want to admit it. I spared another glance at my distilling equipment before nodding, “I was-”

Sasha shook her head, “Please, no excuses; just listen.”

I shut my mouth and clenched my teeth to bite back a retort in mild shock as she continued, “It isn’t all bad; I can appreciate that you have so far minded yourself when in the company of nobility, but the way you act in private has long crossed the line. The fact that His Majesty tolerates such behavior does not excuse it; these past few months, you have demonstrated a general immaturity that I had thought beneath you.”

Ok, but when I finish my work here, it will still benefit the kingdom; I am doing my job.

“Especially now that you’ve become Queen. Despite circumstances, you have a duty to this country to support His Majesty.”

“Enough, Sasha.” Something about what she was saying was seriously getting on my nerves, and I needed her to stop before I became heated and snapped, “I know that. I know that the Queen’s job is primarily to support the King and country in… a variety of ways. But Rupert and I are far from a traditional pair. It is equally my job to act independently and to advise him. How many Drakan Queens can claim to be both a champion of the gods and an apostate?”

She crossed her arms sternly, “To my knowledge, at least two, including yourself. I will not deny that you are far from a traditional monarch. In fact, I find it doubtful that you will ever be my image of a Queen. But that does not change the fact that you are my Queen; I will always support you until such a time as you or his highness sees fit to dismiss me or until I face the gods.”

She spoke with more force than I’d ever heard from her, and it was enough to steal the wind out of my sails. She simply didn’t talk to me like this. Even during past instances of correcting or seeking to educate me, she was always relatively gentle about it.

And always backed down when I told her to stop…

I bit my lip, “…Then what is this? If you claim you will always support me-”

“I am supporting you. I am advising you; in the proper forum. In private. It is up to you whether or not to heed my advice; now that I have given it, I will say no more.” To punctuate her statement, Sasha uncrossed her arms and stepped back.

“You… you make a good point. Thank you, Sasha.” In a way, she had completely missed the point, in a way that I didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t that Rupert and I disagreed on how my time was being spent recently unless he did disapprove and simply hadn’t said anything.

No, I doubt that very much. But Sasha is right. I can’t let myself get caught up like this. Even before officially being crowned today, I’ve more or less been effectively the Queen for a while now. So as much as I want to help Jacqueline, I can’t let it distract me from those duties.

I nodded, “Since we are already here, I will finish the Goddess’ Draught today… No matter how it turns out after this session, I will not delay any longer… And I will apologize to Rupert in view of the servants who witnessed my actions earlier today.”

That will be humiliating, but it should correct any perceptions and halt rumors if I do it early.

“No, that would be going much too far.” Her reply was immediate, and she shook her head, “You should apologize, yes. But do so privately in the absence of servants. Then, following that, have forbearance with your actions in the future.”

That sort of made sense; I already knew it would look bad to lower myself like that. There was also a concern that servants of noble birth would carry reports back to their families. On the other hand, information about my previous indiscretion would be making its way back as we spoke. The advantage of apologizing privately instead of publicly was lost on me, so it would be best to simply follow Sasha’s advice.

“Very well, thank you.”

She curtsied, “Now, I believe you must reprimand me in some way; I violated a direct order and continued to scold you after being told ‘enough.’”

Do I really have to do that…? No, this is another lesson she’s trying to teach me, so I’ve got to do something.

I considered it for a few minutes, trying to come up with a solution that would satisfy her while at the same time not being hugely inconvenient. Being instructed to discipline someone significantly older than myself was… awkward. Finally, a solution came to me, “Very well. Then, should Jacqueline choose to re-enter my service, she will replace you as my head maid. People will view it as me being ecstatic at regaining an old and cherished employee while naming you as her second will preserve your own dignity. This conversation occurred in private, so it would not do if the repercussions were publicly identified.”

Sasha nodded, “Very well, and if she chooses not to do so?”

For once, I had actually considered the other possibilities and accounted for them, “In that case, you will be placed on temporary leave and attend to Jacqueline’s rehabilitation such as is necessary. It will look like I am offering a favor to someone who was gravely injured in my service. Of course, it will require Jacqueline to travel with us, but that will be fine; we can drop her off in a place she chooses along the route.”

“Then, by your will.”

It would seem that my planned punishment had met with her approval. That was a bit of a relief, and I felt pleased, almost like a schoolgirl receiving praise from the teacher after doing well on an assignment. Although considering what that assignment had been, the feeling was slightly confusing. Regardless, that had been finished, and I could finally finish my potion.

I took great care not to literally skip my way over to the still; doing so would be sure to sour Sasha’s mood. Taking the nearly finished potion out of the magic cold storage box, I carefully poured the contents into the heating chamber. Then double-checked that I was wearing my ring before feeding a tiny bit of mana into a primer. Predictably, the amount of mana that left me was more than I’d intended to send. The ring absorbed the excess, demonstrating that it was, in fact, working.

Ok, here we go.

This part was always rather tense. First, I used [Ignite] through my [Fire Magic] Talent to start the oil burner, then carefully watched the temperature rise while tweaking the fuel valve. If possible, I would prefer to directly heat the chamber with Blood Magic, but it wasn’t. Simply put, the process was already taxing enough without adding an additional element to the mix.

My hands needed to be wrapped in a layer of Ice Element mana lest I burn myself on the surface of the heating chamber. Then, I needed to continuously pour Divine Element mana into it, replacing what was being boiled off. The fact that I could now do a second element on top of Divine was thanks only to my [Divine Usurper] Title’s effect of making Divine Element easier to manipulate. Even if Ice wasn’t directly opposed to Fire, there wasn’t any leeway to heat it myself.

With everything in place, I began to slowly increase the temperature. Soon, the potion began to boil away, the non-divine mana leaving it. The next hour and a half consisted of me raising and lowering the temperature while feeding mana into the still. Unfortunately, the constant expenditure exceeded my natural recovery rate, and I lacked the leeway to drink a potion.

Even if I could have done so, the mental strain was enough to preclude me from pressing on for more than a couple of hours per session. Incidentally, that was also about how long my mana reserves lasted anyway. A limit that was fast approaching.

Come on, do something!

It was coming up on the forty-five-minute mark of the second hour, and I was beginning to suspect that I’d failed. The potion would restore Jacqueline to total bodily health, but it was not a Goddess’ Draught.

“Received Title: [Creator of Panacea]”

“Experience threshold reached, obtained Talent: [Alchemical Correction V(MAX)] Talent Evolution in progress, complete. Obtained Talent: [Alchemy Meister]”

“Criteria met, received Skill: [Alchemical Heresy]”

My focus had been so deep that the notifications sounding off genuinely scared me. Falling and landing on my back, I clawed desperately at the air, trying to turn the heat off. Sasha, bless her, saw fit to quickly turn the fuel knob into the off position before seeing if I was all right.

“My Lady!?”

I couldn’t answer; I was too busy feeling superbly pleased with myself as I read my latest system acquisitions. They were far, far, more meaningful to me personally than [Queen von whatever].

“[Creator of Panacea]: Awarded to those who have created an ultimate healing potion. Effect: Provides the user with an increased healing factor. Short of death or loss of limb, most injuries will recover within a few days.”

“[Alchemical Heresy]: Skill bestowed to those who have used alchemy to challenge the domain of the gods and successfully created a Goddess’ Draught. Created potions and alchemical compounds can be imbued with Divine Element to improve their effectiveness by one tier.”

On the other hand, [Alchemy Meister] was simply an upgraded [Alchemy Correction] and had been replaced in my status. Granted, it did say that it would “Allow the user to automatically perform certain actions related to the alchemical process,” but whatever!

I ignored Sasha and jumped up; I had only fallen, after all, hardly enough to injure me. My hands refused to stop shaking for several seconds, forcing me to wait. There was no way that I could allow myself to risk damaging the potion. Finally, they stilled, and I gingerly extracted the finished article.

Checking my ring four times to ensure it was still well below its capacity, I dipped my finger into the brew and appraised it.

“[Goddess Draught] - Healing Potion (Divine Tier). - “Functions as a full restorative. Legends say that it can even flaunt the Authority of Mortis; the god of death.” - Unique Item - Created by The Divine Usurper Stahlia von Drakas und zu Ris in the Year 0949 - Estimated Value: Priceless.”

I did it…