Tricked Into A NewLife, God Must Be Screwing With Me!

“Yo!” The sudden voice caused me to look up, at which point I saw an utterly average young woman, “My name’s Eris.” She said, “Mind if we talk for a bit?” She grinned.

“Yes, I do, in fact.” But, unfortunately, my retort fell on deaf ears as the woman launched into a spiel.

“See, I think we got off on the wrong- WOAH! What did I ever do to you!?”

Despite what she was saying, her dodge had been perfectly executed. I retracted my sword arm and flicked the blade back into the sleeve of my dress. Then, fixing her with a cold stare, I scanned the surroundings with my peripheral vision.

Nobody reacted to that, even though I attacked someone in broad daylight. And even my guards and babysitters seem to be none the wiser… Scary. That’s a seriously frightening ability.

Palde had described how Eris could drop off people’s perception and out of their minds, but seeing it in action… It was apparent why he was so wary of her. We could, in all likelihood, have a whole fight in the middle of all these people, and nobody would recognize what was going on. She put Drakas’s Shadows to shame.

‘Every demon embodies some aspect of their sin. For Envy, it’s the envy of ability, appearance, or status. But Original Sins are special.’

Eris didn’t just “envy” people’s appearance; she envied their existence.

“What do you want to talk about? I have nothing to say to you.”

“See? It isn’t that hard.” She groused, but all the while, she was maintaining distance from me, enough to react to just about any attack.

She could probably waltz up to the city’s chairman and stab him. So, there’s a reason why she hasn’t. And then the disappearances… I can’t really see a motive for that, to be honest.

“Say your piece, I have things to do, and I’m still deciding whether or not to try and kill you again.”

“Oowah! Scary!~ Look, don’t kid yourself, and I won’t kid myself; I can’t beat you, and you can’t beat me without cheating.” Her flippant demeanor shifted, and she smiled grimly.

 …Right, so how much does she know?

“…What do you want?”

I could do nothing more than hear her out because she was right. Even if she wasn’t as openly strong as Sitri had been, she was still stronger than me and had several thousand years of experience. So the only way I could say with certainty of beating her would be to disconnect from the system and overwhelm her with the weight of my unburdened mana. And it was pretty apparent that she knew I could do something if not what that something was.

“Thanks. You have no idea how annoying you champion types can be. Come on; your pawns are getting restless; let’s walk together a bit. The Starling, right?”

It wasn’t surprising that she knew what inn we were using, and she was right about Lord Alriss and the others; they were all starting to fidget slightly.

…They might not be “aware” of her, but they are “aware” of something. They know we’ve stopped…

“Lord Alriss, stop blinking.” Then, on a sudden hunch, I gave a nonsensical order.

“…your maje- Ah. This is the demon, then?” His reaction confirmed my suspicion, and I was rewarded for it by Eris’s smile morphing into a sour look.

So as long as he doesn’t look away, he can remember her… Though I’m not sure how effective “not blinking” will be as a strategy.

“Yes. Go ahead and forget her; I do not believe she intends me any harm.”

He narrowed his eyes, and his hand drifted to his sword. Even as his eyes were starting to water a bit.

“Lord Alriss, that was an order.”

Reluctantly, he withdrew his hand and shut his eyes. Commanding him like this was a slight abuse of my authority, but he wouldn’t remember the interaction. More importantly, it highlighted an important facet of how Eris’s ability worked. I wasn’t sure how the information would be helpful, but it definitely would be in time. With all of my retinue now blissfully ignorant of the knife at their throats, I began to move again.

Based on that, I can also assume that whatever skill she has extends to also include interactions in her presence? It’s a bit unclear, though; talking about her back with Palde posed no issues, and my escorts were aware that I stopped just now. But, they didn’t seem to follow along with the conversation or even to realize that I was talking… I’m missing something.

“You won’t figure it out… I would say, but that little experiment of yours threw me for a loop; defeating [Envy] by just not blinking… Levi-chan was right to be so scared of you.” Eris was nonchalant once again, her earlier demeanor having fallen back in place after the initial surprise.

“Sure,” I griped, “Now, why are you here? I did not get along well with the last Sin I met.”

Eris wagged her finger at me, “Original Sin, and, no shit; Sitri was a bitch. Most Succubi are.”

I wanted to tell her I didn’t care about her title, but that would be needlessly antagonistic. Her opinion regarding Sitri was also a rather curious discovery, if not particularly useful, beyond giving me a vindictive sense of self-satisfaction.

Ha! Even your fellow demons didn’t like you!

My feelings aside, if anyone could see us right now, Eris and I probably looked like a pair of rich friends out for a midday walk with their bodyguards. A realization that made me stop again for a brief moment before I quickly continued walking.

…I can’t let myself get caught up in the atmosphere.

If she did it intentionally, she was very good at manipulating people. That was also a distinct possibility; I knew a lot about demons, both what the Ris Village Priest had told me what felt like so long ago and also from my research. Joining the Royal Family had its perks, one of which was unlimited access to information. Though, neither of my sources were exhaustive. Hells, they weren’t even extensive. So it was very likely that, no, I was missing pieces.

“…Eris, can you please just get to the point? Why call out to me instead of stabbing me?”

She nodded once, and it might be my eyes playing tricks on me, but, at that moment, she genuinely looked a bit forlorn, or it could have been another ruse; I didn’t know.

“Well, because I was told to; that’s the short answer. Really; I was told to sound out the possibility of forging an alliance with you against the gods.”

Excuse you, but WHAT?

“Not happening. I might not like the gods, but….” 

…But I’m not going to put my sister at risk!

I trailed off; her bombshell was so massive that it almost caused me to inadvertently betray information. Information about the fact that Rosial was technically in the service of the gods as one of those champions. Luckily, I caught myself just in time, and the last part was said only in my thoughts. As it turned out, though, that didn’t matter.

“You’re worried about your sister, Rosial, of course. We understand that, and we’re willing to ignore that she exists as long as you manage the issue.”

All right, how? Count Francois didn’t know; if he did, he probably would have locked her up and thrown away the key. Within Drakas, precisely three people know about Rosial’s status. Me, Rupert, and Gustav. So, there can’t be a spy. That means they were told by someone outside the kingdom… Probably Adroni or the demon’s patron.

I needed to stall for time while I calculated my next move. Therefore, a barrage of questions, “Let’s say I believe you; what then? Why me? Why now? And, what’s the deal with the disappearances?”

And, even if I can’t take her answers at face value, I should still be able to glean something.

Eris shrugged and began walking backwards down the street so she could face me. This led to the uncanny sight of people seemingly parting around her like water around a rock.

And I’ve already learned something else; even if they don’t remember her, people are acting like she’s there. So her presence and influence are only erased from the conscious mind.

“Well, you killed an Original Sin, even if it was Sitri. Likewise, you killed one of the Hell Kings. Nobody, not a champion, not a demon, has done that alone before.”

“Wait, I did not kill Satan. I know that for a fact.”

Eris waved me off, “The King of Wrath is dead; that much is a fact. Now, that answers the ‘why you.’ As for the ‘why now…’ Simply put, you got on our radar in a big way… Satan had his schemes with Mephistopheles and Faust, but the others were ambivalent. Not so much anymore.”

From what I knew, she had name-dropped the seventh and eighth kings. Mephistopheles was the King of Pride, while Faust’s sin was…

That explains what Count Francois was getting at, why he was so confident that I would become the tenth Hell King.

Faust was the King of Prophecy.

And he’s probably how they know about Rosial as well.

I affected a relatively dry tone, “Then, you want me to succumb to hatred? Count Francois tried that; it didn’t work.”

“No. While Fa-kun and Mephy-kun might want something like that, most of us, including the Ninth King, would prefer you to continue along your current path. Only that you, and Drakas, align with us instead of the gods.” As far as I could tell, she was uncommonly serious about that. At the very least, her demeanor and tone, if not her words, changed entirely as she insisted on the terms of the arrangement.

As it stands, there really aren’t any downsides for me…

The offer, as Eris described it, was enticing. On the one hand, I personally loathed the gods and goddesses. On the other hand, there was also little risk of Adroni protesting; as long as they were entertained, my patron was not likely to interfere.

The only downside is that Aaron would turn into my enemy. …Drakas the dragon might as well.

Two rather significant downsides considering that one of those was a literal god, and the other lived right above the capital. There was also the old adage, “if something is too good to be true, then it isn’t true.” While it was possible that most of the Hell Kings didn’t intend me or mine any harm, that wasn’t a guarantee.

“You still haven’t answered my first or last question, and while I’m at it, I’ll add a fifth in honor of the apparently deceased; why are you using Japanese honorifics?”

‘Levi-chan,’ ‘Mephy-kun,’ and ‘Fa-kun.’ Yea, that’s definitely something. And Sitri said some Japanese-sounding names right before she died as well, though I sort of just glossed over it at the time.

My jab at five was well received, earning a grin and a chuckle, “Ha, I do appreciate that sense of humor. Fine; as for the first question, contact his majesty and convince him to side with the demons as he would have originally. Then, continue your current mission, but lead the three champions astray.”

“As for number three, the disappearances are an attempt to spread discord and terror, nothing more. Zesten is the border city with Drakas; a Drakan noble will be framed and apprehended once the war starts. But, of course, if you side with us, we won’t take that action.”

When she trailed off, I prompted her to continue by reiterating the fifth question, “And the Japanese?”

Odds are, I won’t be taking this deal; there are too many unknowns versus sticking with my current plans. But it doesn’t hurt to act like I’m considering it. I can probably assume that the plan to spread discord is more or less the proper explanation; I can’t think of any other reason that makes any sense. Though the part about framing a Drakan sounds contrived, she’s probably just trying to make the deal look better, even if only marginally.

“…The Japanese is a memory.” Eris’s act dropped completely for the first time, and I was sure she was telling me the truth without holding anything back, “Haaa… All right, Stahlia-sama, from one otherworlder to another. Please, help us kill the Gods.”

Eris bowed. Not a Drakan noble’s bow, not a military bow, and not her head. She performed a perfect Japanese bow. At least as far as I knew.

“The demons of Envy are unique. See, we all remember our pasts. So that we can be envious of what we lost. All of the higher demons used to be otherworlders. Either transferees or reincarnations. We were, by and large, tricked into becoming what we are now. That is why we are fighting; we want revenge.”

She fixed me with a look that was both sad and, at the same time, pleading. If it was meant to make me feel for her, to want to take her side… Then she miscalculated. At least the part about making me want to take her side. Of course, it made me sad on her behalf; I wasn’t a monster, metaphorically. But I was not in a position where I could afford to be bought with tears. There was also a new anger in me.

“…And after failing to inflict me with the same fate, you have the gall to ask me to fight with you? Sure, the gods screwed with me as well, but I am quite happy despite it. I see no reason to join a crusade that would make enemies of them when my would-be allies won’t do me the favor of coming to negotiate themselves.”

Eris’s eyes flashed, banishing the tears. I still didn’t think they had been crocodilian; instead, it was more likely that she had grown used to the pain after thousands of years and could put it away when she needed to. That made the fact that she had taken it out in front of me even more notable. In place of the tears, she now had a smile, and her words made me think it was genuine.

“Then, if Levi-chan talks to you herself, you might consider it? I’ll pass that along. Oh, and apologize to the kitty for me!” Before I could move to stop her, Eris vanished. Not off my perception, but into the crowd. She was remarkably good at hiding in plain sight for someone who was used to not having to worry about people seeing her.

…That wasn’t what I meant. It isn’t a matter of who approaches me; I’m not going to side with the demons when the gods have carved their mark on Rosial’s soul.

It was a rather obvious drawback now that it occurred, making me question why it hadn’t before. Equally as obvious was the farce with Felicity; with one hand, they offered me an olive branch. With the other, they tried to steal my adopted sister. Many of my citizens were going to die in the war fighting against the demons. But how many would die if we were swarmed with monsters after the capital was razed in dragonfire? Both personally and professionally, a change of alliance was entirely off the table.

Not that it’s likely to do any good, but once Franklin brings that woman and the mysterious third party, I’m going to change inns… Actually,

I turned abruptly, stepping off the main road and onto a deserted side street. The babysitters were caught off guard and were slow to react.

“Plan C.”

At my spoken command, my knights immediately moved in and subdued them.

“Your majesty?” Lord Alriss queried, no doubt wondering why I had suddenly chosen the aggressive approach when, up until now, the host country had shown us nothing but goodwill.

“You don’t remember her, but I just had a long conversation with a certain demon.” His eyes widened, “It is my belief that she has infiltrated the military personnel of this city; hold them still.”

The knights holding the babysitters straightened themselves and presented the two before me. Divine Mana flowed into my eyes, and the world turned bright with the light of life. Except for two spots on the men, where their mana was slow and sluggish.

There they are.

In retrospect, it made sense. When Claire described how Emmanuel had been somewhat deferential to his own guard, I thought it was a case of the prince hiding as a servant while the servant played the lord. But Eris’s appearance had changed my outlook; it was far too well-timed, and she knew quite a bit more than she should.

Well, there’s admittedly a certain degree of paranoia on my part as well…

“Claire, you can come out now.” I wanted her visible for this next part, and once she tentatively climbed out of my shadow, I addressed the captured spies, “Now then, ‘Levi-chan,’ I’m sure you are watching this right now. Do you see this beastkin? You tried to kidnap her. Maybe you knew she was my sister, maybe not. But that doesn’t change the fact that you offended me personally. I will never side with you.”

Following that, I stabbed them both in two unceremonious quick motions.

“You, go ahead to the original inn, wait for Franklin, and then bring him to the camp. Bring him somewhere safe and lay low if there isn’t enough time before dusk.” One of my knights saluted, “The two of you, bring these to the Chair of the city and show him the worms; they are attached to the spine near their hearts.” Two more of my knights saluted as they received their orders, “Lord Alriss, I have just declared a personal vendetta against a Queen of Hell, and she is seemingly in league with this city. Order the men to advance and surround the walls; I will deal with the winds. If Lord Zesten wishes to remain neutral in the war, he cannot harbor demons.”

Though likely, he’s not doing it willingly, I can’t ignore this either. A show of force and power will make getting them to agree to an inspection easier. The sight of a thousand knights and soldiers surrounding a city thought unassailable, as my Anti-Army Magic seals the oh-so-deadly winds should prove enough of a threat. If not, my shadow appearing beside the Chair will do the trick.

“Lastly, the men are not permitted to draw their weapons, nor may they cast any magic. These two will be the only casualties. Is that clear?”

I received a round of salutes, and the men departed. Claire was watching me with her ears flat, “It isn’t lost on me that half of that was for me. But do you think declaring war was the right way to handle this?”

Of course, she wouldn’t accept that, but then again, she was wrong; I wasn’t doing this for her in the first place, “It won’t turn into a war. I’ll give Zesten whatever concessions they want after the fact, but I’m not backing down until I’ve confirmed the soldiers and leadership are free of the worms.”