Tricked Into A NewLife, God Must Be Screwing With Me!

The carriage tumbled end over end before tumbling to a stop on its side.

Fuck! Is everyone ok!?

My own injuries were few, and all of them were of the cut and scrape variety; no broken bones or serious lacerations. That being said, I had been using body reinforcement Blood Magic enhancements. The very fact that I did sustain injuries went to demonstrate just how bad of an accident that had been. A frenzied look around the interior of the carriage revealed the bodies of my traveling companions.

“Nononono!” Extricating myself from the awkward position I’d landed in, it took a minute to crawl up to Edith who was being tightly clung to by Sarala.

A moment later, Edith’s chest visibly rose and fell as she breathed in and out. It would appear that she was safe and not in immediate danger. Sarala was a different story; one of her legs was bent at the knee in an angle it had absolutely no business with. Biting my lip, I reached towards where she was holding onto Edith with the intention of unhooking her arms. To my surprise, my hand stopped in midair about an inch away from her skin.

A barrier? It was not a spell I was familiar with, though Sarala did have some talents at a higher level than my own. This was more likely something she was doing outside of her skills and talents. A few seconds later, the resistance faded as the barrier fell and I was able to make contact with her arm. My touch caused her eyes to flutter open, and she sucked air into her lungs through clenched teeth.

“Thh.., Stahlia, I can’t feel my leg.”

Well, at least she’s quick on the uptake. Most people would have gone straight into shock.

“It’s broken, do you want me to set it?”

“Haaa, quickly. Please.” Had Sasha been conscious, Sarala’s tone probably would’ve gotten a sharp retort. The fact that we were the only ones currently moving around was a double boon though.

“Right, grit your teeth.” Grasping her leg, I forced it straight while pulling it. There was a sickening popping sound as the cartilage and ligaments pinched each other. A moment later, Sarala’s leg began to glow faintly; the fact that her body was made from a skill she possessed as a spirit made for rather easy healing, as long as the pieces were in the right place.

“How’s Edith?”

My friend looked to my other friend, who was still unconscious, “She should be fine. I was able to deploy an [Ice Wall] around her in time.”

So it was a spell. I’ve never seen an [Ice Wall] quite like that though, you were always good at manipulating talent-based magic.

There would be time for more admiration later. For now, there were other problems to address. Crawling over an upturned seat, I made my way to Lady Lester. She was surprisingly unharmed, the only injuries being a moderately sized lump in her right arm and a broken nose. In my opinion, that was a minor miracle. Her injuries were light enough that it was within my capabilities with White Magic to heal, but there were other more pressing concerns.

“Sarla, can you splint her arm? I’d rather not use the mana on a healing spell until we know what the hell is going on.” Though she appeared loath to leave Edith’s side, she still made her way over to me.

Next is…

Sasha was more severely injured. None of her limbs looked hurt, but her rapid and shallow breathing was not a good sign. Most likely, she had one or more broken ribs. That would make moving her risky; a sharp edge might puncture something. So, after checking her airway, I moved on.

My knight was slumped over and very clearly dead, his head and neck at entirely the wrong angle. Of all the misfortune and bad luck, it seemed like he was the only casualty; Lady Lester’s maid was still breathing. Her arm had acquired an extra joint in the wrist, and one of her legs had become like a flamingo’s, but both she and her lady were allive. That presented a dilemma.

With all that tumbling around, there’s no way she and Lady Lester didn’t see through my illusion. What am I going to do about it though?

It was highly likely that Ferdinand and Rupert would decide to have them disappear. But could we get away with doing that to a duchess? Probably not. In that case, I would be expected to have dealt with it myself; if I killed them now, they’d not feel any pain or even know what had happened. Then, we could simply say they died in the crash.

It won’t be the first time I’m responsible for people dying, not even the first time I’ve killed anyone myself; I killed Rosial even if she got better. She’s going to be killed anyway, hell I’m probably going to end up killing people with my own hands; that’s literally the plan until we can train new assassins… How did my life get so screwed up…?

Reaching inside of one of the folds of my dress, I felt the blade of my hidden dagger. It was warm, heated by proximity to my skin.

“Are you going to kill her?” Edith’s voice pulled me out of whatever funk I was in.

Withdrawing my hand from the knife, I shook my head, “Maybe, but there’s no way I can do it… Not yet.”

There was no response and when I looked over, Edith was still unconscious.

So now I’m hearing voices. Great. But at least it stopped me from being a complete dumbass.

The killing in and of itself wasn’t beyond my ability, if it was a matter of my life or someone else’s then I’d be able to go through with it. Even if it was an assassination, to prevent Rosial from being involved I would do whatever I had to. But this wasn’t one of those cases; killing her would have been the single worst thing I could have done.

There’s going to be a better way of handling this, I’m just too distracted and high-strung to think of it now.

With the status of everyone confirmed, my focus shifted. It was imperative that I knew when rescue was coming; it certainly was coming, the only question being when it would arrive, and if it would arrive in time. I crawled back over to Sasha and began carefully feeling around her skirt until I located the communication tool she carried.

Pushing some mana to it, there was an odd sensation. For a brief moment, there was something static-like in my mind. That was then promptly replaced by a dull weight accompanied by Ferdinand’s voice. Irritatingly, he did not sound at all panicked “Sasha. Report.”

“She’s unconscious. It’s me, what the hell is going on!?”

“…My apologies. I have several teams of knights attempting to reach you, but they are being obstructed.”

That wasn’t good. Within the capital, there shouldn’t be anything capable of obstructing a full deployment of knights. Even in our most liberal estimations, there should not be enough shadows remaining to accomplish that.

“Exactly how many shadows are we dealing with?”

“As far as I can tell? Only three. Your carriage has been surrounded by undead coming up from the sewer system, and your knights are working their way around to you.”

“Undead!? What about the civilians!?”

“Calm yourself. Everything is under contro-”

The connection suddenly went to static, and the last thing I heard was Ferdinand being an ass. The only reason the connection would drop like that was if it had been cut off from either end, or if a particularly strong obstruction spell had been cast.

So the shadow remnants are closing in. Shit, this isn’t good.

My heartbeat was beginning to quicken. Not in a helpful way either, but in the manner where you knew something horrible was about to happen. Forcibly, I began taking long deep breaths, an exercise to help control my nerves.

Ok, the shadows are working with the undead, or have simply pointed them at the capital. The fact that they are actively surrounding my carriage indicates the former. That means there’s either a mage able to control them, or these are intelligent undead… Probably the former again.

My brain was working overtime, and all conclusions were grim. Some people would probably say that the prudent thing to do was trust in the carriage’s warding and wait for rescue. I discarded that; if they could cut off the communication magic tool and knock us off the road, then they could get inside. This was going to come down to whether or not Sarala and myself could win a one-versus-many engagement, or at least hold off long enough for rescuers.

Apparently, my conclusion showed on my face because Sarala’s normally shy demeanor had completely vanished, “How long are we going to have to fight?”

My head shook grimly, “I don’t know.”

I stood and stretched, confirming what I already knew regarding my condition. Gingerly making my way around the overturned cabin, I found my shortsword and pulled it out. My dagger was one thing, but for this reach would be required.

And my talents are still fucked, so no benefit from [Sword Fighting], no talent casting, and only the chanted spells I can remember. My only real asset is going to be Blood Magic then. In that case, should I disconnect…? No. That’d go badly. I’ll only do that as a last resort.

…No, I have one other tool I can use.

My [Revenant] title carried the passive effect of making undead passive to me, and titles were one of the few parts of my status that still seemed to work properly. After switching titles I addressed Sarala, “How do you want to play it? Put a barrier around the carriage? I can feed you extra mana.”

Sarala shook her head, “No, if they can get through the carriage’s existing protections then any barrier I erect will quickly fall. What about you? Can you face them alone?”

If I had my [Eidetic Memory] to use customized chants.

“No. I guess that leaves me playing a vanguard and you as a rearguard.”

Sarala nodded grimly, “Should we go out, or wait here?”

Worst case scenario, they were just going to somehow destroy the carriage. Now that I was a princess, I would rather end up like Elizabeth instead of Diane.

“It would be better to go out, carefully.”

Sarala nodded, then stood up, “When you’re ready.”

What with the carriage being on its side, getting out was going to be much easier said than done. One door was now the floor, while the other occupied the ceiling.

If we make it through this, I’m going to introduce emergency exits.

Stretching up to my full height, I was able to reach the door above our heads and carefully unlatch it. From there, a Blood Magic enhanced jump was able to give enough force to get the door to open fully and come to a rest against the wall of the carriage. It may have been more prudent to open it slowly, but I couldn’t think of a good way to go about doing that in a short enough time.

Then, I fed mana into my brain, carefully slowing down my perception of time. Nodding at Sarala, I adopted a ready stance and jumped again. She would find her own way out behind me. Landing on the carriage’s side, a quick look around revealed that we had tumbled about thirty feet down the mountain from one road to the next, smashing through one of the buildings as it did so.

I really hope nobody was in that… It’s a good thing the main roads are built to encircle the mountainside, or we would have possibly gone all the way down.

The next thing I picked up on was the undead; they were surrounding the carriage at a short distance but not approaching. The ones that saw me directly didn’t make a move to attack, confirming that the title was working as it should be. They had closed off any pathway I could have used to escape, and were attempting to claw their way up the sheer slope to where two of my knights were waving at me frantically. 

Yea, I see you, but I can’t exactly sit in the carriage and wait to be killed. Shoot some arrows at the undead if it makes you feel better… They aren’t behaving like normal undead though… To organized. That means they probably have a shadow present controlling them, where though? They should be nearby if they cut off the communication tool. It’s also a bit concerning that I can’t even hear fighting yet Ferdinand said the undead were holding the knights off… Is he… is he the mole?

It was a sobering thought, and if that was the case, then we were totally screwed.

But it does make sense… Woah!

Even with time slowed down and my heightened reflexes, I barely managed to deflect the incoming arrow. The fact that I was able to at all was a testament to how I’d been holding a sword for literally my entire life. Even without Talents and Skills to provide corrections I was not helpless. The fact that it had almost hit me though, was concerning.

“They’re here!” After calling Sarala, I scanned in the direction the shot had come from. There did not seem to be anyone there, even after only the scant few seconds since the shot.

They’re taking things extremely carefully.

I wasn’t sure if I should be flattered or annoyed. Granted, they had no way of knowing that my status was all screwed up right now.

Ting!

Another arrow had come from my blind spot.

They’re either testing me right now, or there’s only one archer.

It was fortunate that Sarala was smart enough to realize that there was a sniper, and had not stuck her head out. Once again the archer had seemingly vanished in the moments it took me to look in that direction.

This is pointless and frustrating.

“Come out already! Or at least stop shooting one at a time!” It may be a bit unwise to taunt them like that, but this was just dumb. My mana capacity would let me keep this up for several minutes as it was, and if I disconnected, indefinitely.

To be honest, I was not expecting a response. So when I was suddenly charged from the left and the right by two men, it took me a bit by surprise. Fortunately, my slowed perceptions were enough to react just in time. Ducking to the left, the first attack missed me by a few inches and my own blade was able to turn away the second.

Not good. I meant to dodge that by a much greater margin.

To make matters worse, another arrow was flying right toward me. Fired while my attention was preoccupied, I would not be able to dodge in time.

Shit! I hope they aren’t using Grave Oil, but who am I kidding?

Stepping off to the right, I hoped to minimize the damage.

“[###### ####] Icicle Wall!” At Sarala’s shouted spell a thin wall of ice formed between me and the arrow. How she had been able to keep up with the speed of those few seconds was beyond me, but I’d have to thank her later.

“Yah!” Accompanying my shout with a quick thrust, I was able to just barely catch the left-most attacker in his arm. Not by any skill on my own part, he had simply been momentarily surprised by my backup.

That’s fine, I’ll work with this.

Pivoting away from the man I’d just cut, I kicked at the second melee attacker. Two versus one would be just barely doable, so Sarala would have to block the arrows for me.

Above, block. No, he’s feinting; ignore.

The blade swung and sailed past me within a few inches as I pressed the attack on the one in front of me. There was only a brief window before the other would recover from me calling his bluff. My main target was rather skilled and knew this fact just as well as me. Instead of blocking or attempting to counter, he spent all of his effort dodging; bobbing up, down, and around my flurry of attacks.

Out of time, pivot.

Spinning just in time, I was able to deflect the incoming attack away.

Alright, let’s go faster.

The mana flow to my arms and legs increased, proportionally multiplying my speed. Within my slowed world, I was now having some difficulty with control.

“Sarala, distraction!” Trusting in my friend’s judgment, I ignored the man behind me and focused all of my attention on the one in front.

“Ah! [#####!]” In her panic at being suddenly told to do something, she defaulted to an elementary Fire Magic spell, Flash. It did exactly as advertised and produced a bright, instantaneous flash. Something that was extremely effective for its simplicity as long as you could land it.

The man in front of me crumpled as my strikes suddenly began landing. Highly skilled assassins were not going to be caught off guard by Flash, but to avoid it they’d have to briefly close their eyes or look away; something I could capitalize on.

One down, pivot.

The man in front of me had fallen. Without the leeway to consider taking prisoners, all of my strikes had gone for his center of mass; if he wasn’t dead already, he soon would be.

“Mind the Archer!”

“[###### ####!] Icicle Wall!” Just in time, she repaired the wall even as an arrow finally shattered it.

Without his boyfriend to occupy my back and create openings, the second assailant quickly fell under my onslaught of repeated attacks. Again, I was aiming for his vital areas; I could try and capture the archer, but I wouldn’t leave a shadow near my companions even if injured.

Even as the second body fell, I dropped off the carriage’s side and closed my eyes.

Focus.

Moving some of the mana out of my limbs, it refocused into my ears.

“Twang!”

There.

The tell-tale sign of a bow firing informed me of the archer’s position and I kicked off the ground towards it. Sarala would get the arrow.

“Damnit! What are you!?” The voice that called out when I finally laid eyes on the archer was higher pitched than I had expected, and the fact that they had spoken at all was surprising in and of itself; shadows didn’t do that. The momentary surprise caused me to slow my approach. Something that, a moment later, proved to be a mistake.

“Damnit!”

“No, don’t!” My cry was as pointless as it was futile; the shadow, determining that she’d never hit me and wouldn’t be able to escape, had killed herself by stabbing one of her arrows into her eye.

They were using grave oil after all…

I pressed my lips back together and turned away from the gruesome sight. If she killed herself then there probably weren’t any more than the three, so it would be safe to sit tight in the carriage. My muscles were starting to ache now, a protest against how hard they’d been pushed.

…I need to fix my status. Even if it’s a risk to try the nuclear option, it’s better than nothing.

“Stahlia…” Sarala looked down at me, her face wrought with concern, “Stahlia, they… These two, they’re just kids our… Edith’s age.”

Ah… No wonder I was able to keep up…

“Stahlia! Stahlia, can you hear me?!”

It was Ferdinand’s voice sounding off inside my head. With the three assailants deceased, whatever had been blocking the connection abated. That said, my mood was beginning to sour.

“I can hear you just fine. The three ‘shadows’ are dead and we’re all safe.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Was that genuine relief in his tone? How out of character. In any case, I didn’t care.

“I’m sure you are. I’ll be waiting in the carriage for you to do your damn job and come get me!”

I cut the connection off, then threw the communicator as hard as I could. The sight of it shattering on the wall was only a tiny bit comforting.