Trash of the Royal Castle

"You wouldn't happen to have a wallet on you, yes?" I ask the Alicorn following after me as I make my way down the streets of Seaddle.

"That's your question?!" She exclaims as she speeds up her walk to catch up with me, "You've been gone for almost two weeks and the first thing you say to us is, "Hey, can I borrow some money?" What is wrong with you?!" She yells, frightening several nearby ponies who quickly look away when they recognize me and my cohort.

I look at her from the corner of my eye as I turn left at the intersection, "I mean, I've been gone for two weeks right? Think of this as me coping with such a tragic event," I explain to her with a cheeky grin as I turn into a nearby alleyway, startling a cat that was napping on a dumpster.

"What?!" Luna shouts as she follows after me as I move dexterously between dumpsters near the walls and puddles on the ground, twirling around a backdoor that almost opens onto my face, smiling at the pony who opened it before grabbing the trash bag from her hooves and chucking it into the nearest dumpster.

"We are so sorry about him," I hear Luna tell the pony as I continue making my way between the alleyways before I reach my supposed destination.

Tinted windows, a small wooden canopy above the door, a brown welcome mat beneath it, and a generic illustration of a keg sat on a sign hanging off the canopy.

"Yep, This is the place," I nod and walk in.

The inside of the building was much cleaner than some might expect from a building located in an alleyway, but these deep alleyway places are always the best.

Or the worst, It really depends on which side of town you are at.

The place was mostly empty, save for a gruff-looking Griffon sitting in a cubicle in the back and a fancy-dressed Minotaur behind the bar.

"Blueblood! Where are you going?!" I hear Luna call out to me as I close the door behind me, walk into the hidden establishment, and sit at the bar.

"What are you doing here?" The Griffon near the back asks as he stands up on Leopard-looking feet, his front talons tapping on the clean floor as he makes his way to sit next to me, "Shouldn't you ponies be up near main street?" He taps a claw on the wooden bar as he leans next to me, squinting his eyes as I smile at him.

"Sigmund, Leave the stallion alone," The Minotaur says as he readjusts the black and white vest he whore before taking a few steps to stand in front of me, "So, What can I get for you?"

"Blueblood!" Luna yells as she enters the bar, her eyes immediately catching on to me before she spotted the two other people in the room.

She coughed into her hoof, told them, "Excuse us for just a moment," and grabbed me in her magic, floating me outside of the bar and back into the alleyway we just came from.

"So, Do you have the money?" I ask her as I floated upside down, a sly grin still on my face as she tried to glare a hole into my forehead before she seemingly gave up and placed me back on the ground gently.

"Yes, We have money, but we will be talking about this," She sighed and followed me back into the bar.

"So, Will you be ordering anything?" The Minotaur asked as I sat back on the barstool, Luna grabbing a place next to me.

The Griffon from before already back in his corner at the back.

"Yes," I smiled "I'll have a Negroni, and the lady will be having an Iced tea, you know, Not of the tea kind."

The Minotaur chuckled and turned to the shelf of bottles behind him, grabbing several of them at once and several cocktail shakers.

"Did you order for us?" Luna hissed in my ear as she kept her eyes trained on the Minotaur.

"I did, Trust me, You'll like this new modern stuff," I told her, rhythmically tapping the wood with my hooves as I waited.

A Smile on my lips.

-----------------------

"So..." Starlight started before swallowing the rest of her sentence and looking away from the frosty Princess of the day.

"Indeed..." Celestia replied as she looked down at the mare who Illegally built a town, stole the inhabitants' cutie marks after indoctrinating them into her cult, avoided her taxes, didn't pay for a building permit, or a medical lisence.

But worst of all, This Mare attacked her little prince and somehow managed to convince him to spare her from life in prison.

Oh, how she must have tortured him with her evil spells in order to let her go free.

Or even worse!

SHE SEDUCED HIM!!!

How tricky... Starlight Glimmer surely is a clever villain.

But Celestia is Clever-er, All she has to do is catch Starlight slip in her act, and then BLAM!

Straight to the bottom of Tartarus!

All she had to do is watch her, wait for her to fumble, and keep her eye on her at all times.

And then, her little Prince Blueblood will come back to Mama with tears of joy in his eyes, crying and hugging her as he thanks her for freeing him from this harlot.

And she will hug him back, and whisper to him that there is no need to worry, Mama will always love him and always support him, no matter how old he gets...

Princess Celestia smiled.

And Starlight Glimmer once again regretted her past actions.

--------------------------

"We're sorry!!!" Luna cried as she hung on to my shoulder, tears rolling down her face as she wailed.

We only drank one glass of what I ordered, but now we were back in the alleyway, slowly making our way back to the docks.

How was I supposed to know that Luna was a lightweight?! And I mean really lightweight!

And she's also a Crying drunk, the worst kind of drunk to deal with.

I sighed to myself, "Why couldn't you be a party drunk, like me, or at least a sad drunk, they're still easier to deal with than a crying one," I asked her, receiving wails and cries of "I'm Sorry!" as a response.

"There there," I rub her back as she kept crying, "Everything's okay,"

"But It's our fault!" She cried louder, her voice bouncing back in the slight echo of the alley.

"It's because We didn't join you in investigating Starlight that you disappeared!" She cried, her tears staining my fur, "If we didn't tell you to investigate her, none of this would have happe-he-hend!!!"

I stopped walking and grabbed her cheeks, pushing her off of me and forcing her to look me in the eyes.

"Wha?" She voiced from between squished cheeks as I forced her to look at me.

"It was my choice to pick up the missing person's case, You didn't do anything," I told her, ignoring her tears staining my legs as I held her cheeks.

"B-b-but we-!" 

"You Didn't do anything wrong," I told her, "If you want to blame anyone, blame the police for not picking up on Starlight before we did,"

"But We-"

"No!"

"If we-"

"Nuh-uh,"

"Bu-"

"No ifs or buts!" I squish her face tighter, causing her to mewl in discomfort, "I might not look it, with my charmingly good looks and all," I tell her, "But I'm a grown-ass man, Luna, I can make my own choices, and sometimes I make mistakes, And that's fine."

She whimpered between my hooves, her tears slowing down.

"We can all play the blame game, thinking about how things could have been better, but we can't do anything but live with what we have," I tell her.

"It's our choices that define us, I chose to follow the missing pony poster, It was my choice to join the police in confronting her, and it was my choices that led me to the predicament that followed," I explained to her, "You didn't do anything, I chose it, and choices have consequences, some good, and some bad."

I smiled as I started moving her cheeks around my hooves, causing her to make funny noises "You get it? It was MY choice, not YOURS, so stop taking the blame,"

"I- We- But-" Luna whimpered from between her squished cheeks before she once again started crying uncontrollably.

I sighed to myself, "Yep, You're still drunk, don't know why I bothered,"

------------------------

Reaching the docks with a now sleeping Princess on my back was far easier than with a crying Princess on my shoulder.

Celestia looked at the two of us, before sniffing the air and raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't know she was such a lightweight," I explained, and she nodded as If I explained everything that happened in the past half-hour in perfect detail.

And soon, with a glow from Celestia's horn, Luna and I found ourselves back at the castle, followed soon by Celestia teleporting in, and a loud crashing noise as a fourth pony landed in another room, likely flinging stuff onto the floor as a result.

Celestia looked at where the sound came from with a small smile on her face.

"Whoops"