Tony Stark In An Alternate Timeline

A/N: Thor meets Tony Stark. Nothing else especially important happens, I swear :P

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"This drink, I like it… ANOTHER!"

Tony's hand flashes out the instant his superhuman senses catch Thor's intent and he actually manages to take ahold of the bottom of the coffee mug before it can even fully leave the depowered God of Thunder's hand. There's a jolt that goes through Thor's body as this happens, and the blond's eyes widen slightly at the display.

Grinning lightly, Tony tugs the coffee mug from Thor's fingers and sets it down on the table.

"That's not how we ask for things around here, Point Break. The cup is washed and reused… not smashed on the ground into a million pieces."

He really hadn't been sure how hard locating Thor would be. When he and Pepper had initially arrived at Mjolnir's location to find some of the locals fucking around with the thing and Thor nowhere in sight, Tony had just shrugged, given all of the men a thousand dollars each to fuck off, and had JARVIS start setting up a facility around the enchanted hammer.

The temptation to try to pick the damn thing up himself HAD been there… but ultimately Tony hadn't bothered. It didn't matter how strong he was now; he knew full well that he wasn't any worthier now than he'd been back in the original timeline.

So with Thor in the wind and JARVIS letting them know what Coulson was trying to pull with Dr. Foster and her team, they'd headed into town to take care of business. After letting Pepper lead the SHIELD mooks off by their new leash, Tony had figured if he just hung out with Jane and her friends long enough, he'd run into Thor sooner or later based on the reports he'd read of this whole incident back in the future. And lo and behold, they had actually left a man fitting Thor's description back at the hospital!

Of course, he hadn't expected to literally run into Thor by way of having Jane hit him with her car while they were pulling away from her library to head on over there. Luckily, despite not having his godly alien mojo at the moment, the Asgardian Prince was still tougher than your average human being and the vehicular incident hadn't left him any worse for wear.

Now, could Tony have dragged Thor right over to Mjolnir to see what could be done about powering the big guy back up? Sure, but that meant missing out on a chance to establish a rapport with the God of Thunder before SHIELD got wind that they had an exiled alien prince on their planet. And so Tony had done what Tony did best… he'd gone ahead and bought out a nearby diner and set the cooks in the back to creating a literal feast for a famished Thor Odinson.

It's probably because of that that Thor slowly nods and gives him a friendly smile before reaching out and slapping him on the shoulder.

"Hah! Understood, Tony Stark! You are quite an intimidating warrior, despite your short stature! I applaud you for your strength!"

Tony just raises an eyebrow at that, even as he throws a look at the others at the table. Jane and Erik are definitely more interested in Thor than him, though for different reasons. Jane very clearly has it bad for the handsome blond, while Erik looks like he's not sure if Thor is entirely sane… and also like he's wondering how the hell the other man is putting away his FIFTH plate of food.

Darcy on the other hand, is definitely eyeing Tony in an interesting way. She has been since their flirtatious banter back at the lab. Though from the look of things, she doesn't seem content to leave it at just banter. He'll have to let Pepper know, heh. For the time being though, Tony puts that on the backburner in favor of regarding Thor.

"So then. You were telling us about your exile, right?"

Thor immediately grows moody at that, eating his feelings by scarfing the eggs in front of him at record pace for a few seconds. But finally, he swallows down the last bite on the plate and nods.

"Indeed. My father Odin, King of Asgard and the Nine Realms, did not understand why I did what I did. He did not give me time to explain that I was just trying to protect our kingdom. He has cast me out of Asgard, cast me here to Midgard until I complete his trial. Once I retrieve Mjolnir, I shall return home and take my rightful place by his side once more."

Tony already knew it wouldn't be that easy. But he didn't see any reason to burst Thor's bubble.

"Dr. Stark… don't tell me you actually believe all of this?"

Selvig tries to be quiet as he leans forward to whisper in Tony's ear. Key word there being 'tries'. In the end, Thor overhears him, and those vibrant blue eyes of his narrow as he frowns at Erik. Before the displaced Thunder God can respond, Tony does it for him and he does it at full volume, all smiles.

"Oh, I believe it. Your own data supports it Dr. Selvig, Dr. Foster."

Both of them jolt at that, looking at him in confusion. Tony just shrugs.

"Remember those atmospheric disturbances you detected? Dr. Foster, do you recall your theory on Einstein-Rosen Bridges?"

"I… yes?"

Tony hums and then looks to Thor.

"Tell me Thor, how did your father exile you here to Earth? To Midgard."

After clarifying that last bit, the confusion starting to cloud Thor's eyes clears up and he nods in understanding.

"Ah. He tossed me out into the Bifrost."

"And what is the Bifrost?"

"It is how we Asgardians travel the Nine Realms! By walking the Rainbow Bridge, we can venture from Asgard to anywhere in the Nine Realms with great speed!"

Thor's matter of fact delivery has Jane's jaw dropping open in astonishment.

"Wait, you have instantaneous portal travel?! Your people have created an Einstein-Rosen Bridge?!"

While Thor gives her a look of honest bafflement, Tony takes over with a nod.

"According to your own data gathered last night, as well as the sensor data that we've gathered from satellites in the area, that's exactly right Dr. Foster. Thor here didn't just show up out nowhere to be hit by your van. He was teleported, however inadvertently, into your path. Meanwhile, you lot were out there last night chasing the signs of the Bifrost itself… Asgard's very own Rainbow Bridge."

Jane looks excited beyond belief. Erik, not so much. The older of the two scientists frowns at Tony's showmanship, looking more than a little suspicious and bewildered.

"… How are you so certain about all of this, Stark? It seems a little farfetched, doesn't it? The existence of aliens?"

Tony just scoffs at that.

"Farfetched? Don't be ridiculous. Of course aliens are real. It's more surprising that the gods of Norse Mythology are real than that aliens are real, but at least it explains where the myths came from in the first place."

Selvig still looks unconvinced, so Tony does him the favor of reasoning it out a bit more.

"Now, there is still a possibility that Thor here is an escaped experiment, of course. But that just means someone on the planet has developed the ability to teleport to outer space and then back again and sent him on a boomerang journey of sorts that we didn't detect the first half of. Seeing as we definitely picked up him coming down, it doesn't make sense that we wouldn't detect him leaving in the first place. Ergo, the most likely outcome is that he's telling the truth, at least about his extraterrestrial origins."

That finally gives Erik pause. Tony can see the older man's rational mind going over everything Tony has just said with a fine-toothed comb, before he finally slowly nods his head in agreement. A second after this, Thor lets out a bark of laughter.

"Hah! You have the silver tongue of Loki herself, Tony Stark! I must confess, it is strange to me. On the one hand, it is clear that you Midgardians have come a long way since the last time we visited your planet in our youth. But at the same time, to think that you have all but forgotten your pasts and have to be convinced that the Nine Realms and Asgard even exist is… quite odd indeed!"

Tony hums, nodding along almost absently.

"Yeah, about that Thor. You mentioned before that your father is King of the Nine Realms. Just gotta ask… is Midgard counted among those?"

Raising an eyebrow, Thor shrugs.

"But of course! Midgard enjoys the protection of the All-Father, just as all of the Nine Realms do!"

Did it? Tony almost wants to scoff and get into it with the Asgardian Prince… but that wouldn't really fit his purposes. Instead, he smiles mirthlessly.

"See, that might be a problem, Thor. We humans have sort of done away with most of our monarchies. We don't really accept the rule of distant kings anymore, and we're not usually inclined to follow their orders. Is that going to be a problem?"

To be fair, Tony knew it wouldn't be. But he still wanted it on the record as early as possible all the same. Thor looks taken aback for a moment before slowly shaking his head.

"Ah. Hm. That is… well, my father does not usually exercise his right to rule the Nine Realms that much anymore. I suppose… it would be more appropriate to call him the Protector of the Nine Realms?"

Then, Thor's face splits into a grin.

"Haha! You know, it's funny because I was due to be crowned King of Asgard yesterday before those dirty Frost Giants disrupted my coronation ceremony! I always thought father was making a mistake, being so hands off with the Nine Realms. Still, seeing how you Midgardians live these days… perhaps he had a point after all! You've truly made something of yourselves!"

From there, Thor suddenly lights up.

"Aha! I know! We shall have a contest, you and I!"

Tony raises an eyebrow, leaning back a little bit at the God of Thunder's… boisterousness. He'd almost forgotten how intense Thor could be at times. And this was a very young Thor indeed. Funny, the God of Thunder was supposedly already a thousand years old. And yet, the next eight years would age Thor a thousand more unless they could stop what was to come for him.

"A contest?"

"Indeed, Tony Stark! I can tell you are a great warrior of much esteem, based on how your elders and the womenfolk defer to you! Let us have a test of strength against one another!"

And then, Thor pushes his emptied plates aside and slams his elbow down onto the table, his hand raised up as he effectively challenges Tony to an arm wrestling match right there in the middle of the diner.

Tony stares at Thor's offered hand for a moment before quirking the corner of his mouth up and huffing in amusement.

"You know, I'm not actually considered a warrior here on Midgard."

Thor blinks, confused. Tony just points at Jane, then Erik, then himself.

"Dr. Foster. Dr. Selvig. Dr. Stark. I'm a scientist, just like them. I just happen to have a lot more wealth, power, and influence then they do."

Faltering, Thor starts to look put out. However, just before he can pull back his hand and rescind his offer, Tony snaps his own hand out, his elbow also hitting the table as he braces and meets Thor's palm with his own. Giving the surprised God of Thunder a vicious, toothy grin, Tony just shrugs.

"Just wanted you to know the score before I won, Point Break."

There's a pause… and then Thor throws his head back and roars with laughter.

"I like you more and more, Tony Stark of House Stark! Even with your interesting penchant for 'nicknames'! Come then! Let us test each other!"

Without further ado, the game is on. Thor doesn't waste any time going for the kill… but unfortunately for the depowered God, he's already lost. He just doesn't know it yet. Of course, Tony has no intentions of bringing his full strength gained from the ES3 to bear here. Not only would beating Thor too fast wound the Prince's pride, but it would also raise too much suspicion among the others at the table.

Instead, he grunts and focuses on showing just enough exertion to be believable, even as he and Thor war with one another, their straining arms wavering back and forth across the center-point between them. Grinning from ear to ear, Thor snorts as he tries to force Tony's arm down.

"Tch… for not being considered a warrior… you are quite strong, Tony Stark!"

Grunting, Tony shakes his head.

"Couple… years back… I got captured by my enemies."

Thor leans in a little, listening intently. Meanwhile, Tony can see Jane, Erik, and even Darcy all jolt out of the corner of his eye.

"They had me… for three months before I fought my way out."

The God of Thunder's eyes widen in delight and Tony can see himself rising in Thor's esteem in real time once again. Especially since Tony is telling this story while seemingly putting up a very good fight against Thor and his big beefy arm.

"After that… I told myself never again. Anyways… what I said, Thor Odinson… was that the people of this world don't consider me a warrior. I never said… I don't consider myself one!"

Finishing that statement with a roar, Tony puts on a show, finding a 'hidden well' of strength and surging with all his might. Engrossed in his tale as he was, Thor is ill-prepared for it… and even if he wasn't, Tony makes sure to end it there, putting a hint of superstrength behind his grip as he slams Thor's hand down onto the table.

Pulling his hand back, Tony gives Thor a grin.

"Good match."

Thor pulls his own arm back and shakes it for a moment before huffing at Tony.

"Indeed. I see now that you sought to lull me into inaction with your tale. More and more you remind me of Loki. Still, you are a capable fighter all the same, and quite strong, Tony Stark. I am glad to see that Midgard is in safe hands. Of course, know that if I was at my full strength, there would be no contest at all!"

Tony just smiles placidly at that, not bothering to try and argue either of those statements. Earth is indeed safe in his hands. He'll make sure of it. As for whether Tony could take Thor at full power… well, it's not like he intended to find out any time soon. But he liked to think he'd certainly give the Thunder God a run for his money.

Coming to a decision on the spot, Thor nods decisively.

"I beseech you, Tony Stark of House Stark! Help me to retrieve Mjolnir so I may return to Asgard and I guarantee you will have Thor Odison as shield-brother and stalwart ally, to call upon for the rest of your days?"

Biting back the urge to say something silly like 'can I get that in writing?', Tony instead inclines his head to the side.

"You mentioned Mjolnir before. Let me guess… a hammer?"

Thor brightens up at that.

"Yes! You have heard mention of it already?!"

Tony just scoffs at that.

"Heard mention of it? Buddy, I already own the land it fell on. It's just outside of town so-!"

"Then let us be off! I cannot wait any longer!"

Yeah, that was anticipated. Tony has already thrown the diner over ten thousand dollars for this little first impression… a small price to pay for coming out of this smelling like roses to a young and impressionable Thor Odinson. As such, they all stand up and pile out of the diner together. Tony, of course, is not going to be driving with the others in Jane's car.

However, just as he's parting ways to head for his Audi R8, the sports car waiting for him just down the street, Tony stops dead in his tracks as something he never should have missed suddenly screams out at him in the back of his mind.

Whipping back around, Tony calls out to Thor as the depowered Asgardian starts to climb into Jane's car.

"Hey, Thor! Earlier… did you call Loki 'herself'? Loki Silvertongue, God of Mischief? That Loki?"

Furrowing his brow in confusion, Thor slowly nods.

"Yes? My sister Loki Odinsdottir, Goddess of Mischief. Why do you ask?"

Keeping the smile plastered on his face, Tony shakes his head and laughs.

"No reason! See you at the Site!"

Then, he whips back around so Thor can't see the expression of pure disbelief on Tony's face. Loki Odinsdottir?!

What the fuck was going on?!

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A/N: Anyone else miss the initial mention of 'Loki herself' like Tony did? Or did you catch it immediately? :P

That's right, Loki is a Goddess and not a God in this universe. But for Tony not to know that... hmm, does that mean this isn't his original timeline? :O.

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