There’s No Love In the Deathzone (BL)

"Hmm?" Han Shin tilted his head, ignoring the coughing sound from Sierra. "Ah, she didn't mean how long it's been since you were awakened as a guide, but when you started working," he explained to the guide, since it was a common mistake.

A lot of people awakened their ability from a young age, including all three founders of Trinity guild. And once awakened, they would be sent to schools that specialized in espers, to better nurture their talent and prepare them for the trial. Of course, there was an option of not going, and not all espers wanted to work in the dungeon or security-related matters. But even those that were willing, wouldn't be able to officially work until they were eighteen.

For guides, those that awakened before adulthood would be sent to the Temples, where they would receive further knowledge and guidance from the Saint or the Saintess. But unlike espers, guides weren't allowed to start guiding until they were twenty-one, due to many exploitation incidents that happened in the past, where espers and other organizations manipulated young guides to do unsavory services.

So, Zein's answer only made sense if it referred to the age of his awakening.

Or so they thought.

"Ah, no. I awakened a year before that," was Zein's nonchalant remarks.

"Huh?"

"I awakened eighteen years ago, and started working about a year after that," Zein clarified his answer, which didn't help the shock rippling the dining table. "So, seventeen years."

Seventeen years.

That was more than the two 5-star and Sierra's careers combined. It was longer than even Ron's, who was already nearing forty. All of them, including the driver, stared at Zein without blinking. It was like the time when the guide's face was revealed earlier.

Only, this time, Bassena looked stunned too, just like the rest. It seemed that whatever information he'd been digging up about the guide didn't include this piece of little fact.

If it could be called 'little'.

Not even Ron knew about this. He only knew Zein had been a guide for a long time, but he had thought it meant Zein started to work the moment it was permissible for him to do so. Seven or eight years at most, which was already a long time, too. But if it was seventeen years...

"That's...but aren't you just..." Naomi, who had been mostly quiet this time, looked at the still-casually-eating Zein while blinking repeatedly. She tried to recall the list of the Unit's guides' names and ages. "Aren't you just twenty-eight this year?"

And while stuffing meat inside his mouth, Zein nodded.

"When did you awaken?" Bassena asked suddenly, a slight frown appearing on his face.

Facing the inquisitive gaze with his own unbothered stare, Zein silently chewed on the food and only answered after he swallowed. "I was about ten, I think."

There were rustling sounds at the table, as the occupants shifted about. The scientists whispering among themselves, and Balduz now decided to sit after running around serving people like he was a footman or something.

This feast of unexpected information was making him dizzy.

"Ten...shouldn't awakened children be sent to the temple?" Sierra asked in a slightly trembling voice.

If Zein awakened at ten, then it meant he started to work when he was eleven. It was clearly a violation of law, and a case of child labor. For someone like her, who volunteered to go to a red-zone outbreak, this kind of illegal thing was probably too much. Even though she was involved in the cleaning up of the outbreak, she knew nothing of the red-zone itself, and only knew Zein's code name without knowing who he worked with before.

Zein shrugged. "There's no temple in the red-zone," he answered sarcastically. Of course, if there's something like that in the first place, the place wouldn't be a red-zone.

"Then, your work...?"

"I was sold to a rogue guild," Zein started to feel tired of their question and put his fork down. He leaned back and just closed his eyes, tapping on the armrest with his fingers.

With people from the borderland, there was never a lot of question, since most of them were also the type that didn't like being asked too many questions. The only information they need was his ability. But the conversation thus far had felt like an interview, at times, and started to poke his sore spot.

The more they spoke, the more Zein realized that these people knew nothing of the lawless zone that was a red-zone. It was probably his first time spending time like this—eating and chatting—with people from the high-zone and it was kind of exasperating how little they knew about the world outside their comfortable safe-zone.

And then Zein opened his eyes and looked at Ron. "Ah, should I not have said that?" he asked, which startled the man that had been staring at him. Before Ron could make a reply, he already turned to Naomi. "Will you withdraw the contract?"

Zein didn't really care about people's perception of him being part of a rogue guild, but he knew what those perceptions usually were. And it might change these people's minds about hiring him. After all, those who lived in the cradle of upheld justice usually despised the ones living without.

Under the aloof gaze, Naomi found herself stammering. "T...that..." Zein probably looked at her because she was the one providing the contract, as well as the person who seemed to be against the decision the most—if not only.

"Would that make you unable to guide in the Deathzone?" the one who replied, however, was Bassena, and Zein could feel the ember eyes piercing into him.

Zein faced the stare with his own, but his aloofness was shattered for a second. "...no."

"Good, then we will proceed with the contract," the esper low voice acted as a final hammer.

However...

"But how could this..." despite the decision being made already, Zein could hear Naomi muttering.

Well, Zein had thought not everyone would be content with it anyway.

"It's despicable!" a disgusted voice came from the quiet driver.

As expected, even if it was the decision of the strongest person, people had their own minds.

"How could those people do such a thing? Working a child..."

Zein blinked. His previously expressionless eyes widened slightly. It made his face, the cold beauty that seemed to always be encased in ice, melt into innocent confusion.

"Isn't that child abuse?" the scientist Eugene commented with gritted teeth.

And there was a tremble in Sierra's whisper-like voice. "How can someone even sell another human being..."

Zein blinked again. These reactions were quite different from what he was used to. It wasn't a scorned gaze for how he was part of the illegal guild. Nor was it pity because he was put in a situation against his will.

Rather, it was...anger?

Zein tilted his head. Ah, right, he drummed at the armrest. Of course, it was part of their resentment toward the illegal guild. It was just that the resentment finally wasn't directed at him, so Zein felt quite weird. But at least, it was understandable.

It wasn't as if these people would get angry 'for' him, who was basically a stranger a few hours ago—

Zein lifted his gaze at the piercing eyes that had been observing him. The amber orbs were now blazing with fury, like a raging flame, so much that even the others turned their head to the esper.

"Hmm, yes!" it was Han Shin that shattered the creeping tension from Zein's swaying mood and Bassena's leaking fury. "Now, Eugene will explain what we'll do inside the Deathzone. Ron, do you have a map?"

Whilst the dining table drifted to other topics, the healer tapped on Bassena's thigh, invisible tendrils of mental healing magic seeped into the esper's system. There were too many triggering words that he did not expect tonight; child labor, abuse, and all in between. All of them were dangerous in a way these people wouldn't expect—a Saint-class esper's trauma.

'Can't risk having Bas go berserk here,' he glanced at the esper, and then at the guide. These two people had been staring at each other so much they might as well dine at a separate table all by themselves. But that was the only thing they did—staring, wordlessly. It made Han Shin confused.

And so the dinner turned into a slight briefing session, which basically explained what the expedition would be about. Of course, both Ron and Zein knew that they wouldn't reveal everything, just the essential part. That they would use Mortix's van to traverse the marsh until the forest, so they would decrease the burden on the scientist. That Ron just needed to bring them to specific spots that they had marked, and so on.

Zein, as a guide, just needed to…well, guide. His priorities would be Sierra who had teleportation skills and Bassena who would be the main attacker. Although, unless there was something that compelled them to fight to the limit, Zein was confident he could take care of everyone just fine.

The one who needed to focus on the briefing was frankly the espers and Ron, who had to inform them about the terrain of the locations they were trying to go to. So Zein only listened halfway, drifting in and out of the conversation.

Rather, his mind was occupied with the sense of deja vu. That amber orbs that were blazing with fury and resentment felt familiar somehow. Zein just couldn't remember where he saw it.

A dark space.

A twin blazing flame.

Where was it? Was that where he met Bassena before?

He looked at the esper, that seemed to never cease looking at him, and narrowed his eyes. But try as he might, he couldn't remember seeing that face.

This sense and confusion lasted even after the dinner ended, and only shattered with Zein's first time tasting a refreshing sweetness from a piece of fruit.

After the dinner and briefing ended, he was invited to stay at the guest quarters until their departure, since the next day happened to be his rest day too. Normally, Zein would refuse, but with his distracted mind, he ended up accepting the offer.

And now, he was sitting on the couch in the lounge, absentmindedly taking the little fork with food he never saw before and ate it.

And froze.

It was sweet and juicy and refreshing. A little sourness that only made it tastier. He chewed slowly, trying to savor the taste, but the fruit was gone before he felt satisfied. It reminded him of the candy Alma used to give him in the past.

Gulping quietly, Zein bit on the fork and taste the leftover sweetness, eyes chasing the source of this goodness. But he didn't need to look far, since it was already shoved in front of his face—a plate of orange-colored cubes, glistening with the sweet juice.

"You can finish this," was the only thing Bassena said as he put the plate in Zein's hand, who accepted it more eagerly that the dinner invitation earlier.

The esper received a narrowed, suspicious gaze, and he could only chuckle. It was easy to guess that Zein was the type of person who rarely received anything for free, and had developed a habit of just questioning everything.

But the lure of a sweet taste, something that was a rarity inside the red-zone, was bigger than his habitual caution. So Bassena didn't even need to invoke things like 'it's an incentive for the contract' or something like that before Zein started to dive into the plate.

The guide probably didn't even realize it, but he was making quite an interesting face. The man was stunned and in awe when he looked at the dinner meal, but the face he made now was even more adorable.

There was a slight flush on the fair cheek, touching the bottom of the fluttering eyelashes. Zein just looked completely in bliss, too absorbed in the sweet taste that he didn't even object to Bassena sitting beside him and just...gawk. Staring. Observing.

Bassena just straight up spent his time looking at Zein, as if he was trying to absorb every inch of the guide's visual into memory, including the change in expression.

It was such a blatant show of interest that the people who had wanted to come and converse with Zein opted to scurry away and let the two alone. Even Han Shin, the only person who could somewhat defy the Saint-class, only shook his head and chose to go inside his room.

In the middle of his feast, Zein turned his head at Bassena, the blue eyes looking less guarded now. "What is this called?" he asked, like a little kid would ask for candy flavors.

"You never have that?" Bassena raised his brow, to Zein shrugging shoulder.

Of course he never had. No fruits or plants grew in the red-zone, and no merchant would be crazy enough to sell anything fresh there, only to get rotten as soon as it touched the murky air. It was better in the borderland, where they could only eat something fresh if they were lucky and the logistic teams managed to secure a batch from the central depot. But even then, things like fruit were a luxury that no one in government willing to give them.

Zein knew he might never meet this delicious thing again, but he at least wanted to know the name.

"...it's mango," Bassena answered finally, under the persistent gaze.

Having acquired the knowledge of the name, Zein turned his attention to the fruit again. He picked each cube carefully, and chewed slowly as if he wanted to savor the taste. The long eyelashes would flutter sometimes, as color spread on his cheek.

'If I knew he liked it so much, I'd bring a lot more...' Bassena thought to himself.

No, he would make sure they met again even after the expedition, and he'd bring all the fruits there were in the Capital.

When the plate was empty, Zein closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply. When the blue eyes opened, they were staring dazedly at the empty plate, which immediately got taken away by Bassena. The guide blinked then, pressing his lips and licking them a little, like chasing any remnant of leftover taste.

"You like it that much?" Bassena asked with an amused tone.

Zen frowned for a bit, feeling annoyed but too full and contented to be upset. "It's sweet," he said instead.

"You like sweets?" Bassena raised his brow. Perhaps it was his cold demeanor, but Zein didn't come across as someone who liked sweets.

The guide tilted his head at that. "Who doesn't?"

"I don't,"

"...oh," Zein crossed his arms and leaned back on the couch. "Your loss."

Bassena laughed—not an amused chuckle, or a little snort. He laughed with a low voice that reverberated in the lounge. With warm half-moon amber eyes. "Aren't you glad you accepted the dinner invitation?"

Zein blinked, staring at the eyes that resembled the sunset he never saw in his life. Was he glad? Well, he did eat a lot of good food, but was that all? He looked over, across the room, where the others gathered. He remembered the anger they had shown towards the guild that 'bought' him, the blazing fury inside those amber eyes. He knew it was just a normal anger one showed towards what they considered as a criminal act, but...

Through the relaxed shoulder that he felt now, Zein realized he'd been lowering his guard for quite some time.

Was he glad?

"Yes," he answered, truthfully. The smirk on Bassena's face faltered, perhaps because the esper didn't expect a genuine answer. Without removing his gaze from the amber orbs, Zein added; "Thank you."

Bassena blinked once, and felt his body stiffen. It was a simple word, something that people always throw around. But just like the simple health serum and map Zein gave him that day, that simple word left his heart trembling all the same.

* * *

In the dark of the night, a pair of amber eyes looked down at a certain guide's sleeping face. If Zein saw those eyes right now, he might be able to jolt another spark of memory.

The team had prepared a room for Zein to sleep in, but the guide had found Han Shin's light novel and read it on the couch until he fell asleep. It was rare for Zein to sleep without his mask on—according to Ron—and Bassena savored the moment, watching the guide's sleeping face, and thinking about their encounter.

This evening had told the esper a lot of things about Zein. The things that had already been stated in the information sheet, and the things that were still hidden.

He already knew that Zein used to work for a rogue guild called Umbra under the code name of Zen, but he didn't know that Zein was working there basically under a slave contract. He knew that Zein was present during the red-zone outbreak incident that Sierra talked about, but he didn't know it was such a bad memory that trigger a deep resentment.

Bassena didn't know what kind of hardship this guide had endured, or that he never even had a fresh fruit before. He didn't know that Zein liked meat and was unexpectedly fond of sweets.

He didn't know that a little thank you would make him feel this good.

Wordlessly, he wrapped a blanket on the slouching figure, and easily lifted the man. Zein wasn't a small man, but with Bassena's enhanced strength, he might as well weigh like paper. Carrying Zein, he walked to his room and carefully laid the sleeping guide on the mattress.

If Han Shin knew Bassena was carrying someone to a bed of his own will, the healer would not stop talking about it. But for now, Bassena sat on the floor beside the bed, and just laid his head there, watching the guide still.

"Zein," he whispered, pressing his cheek on the mattress. "Zein," he repeated, as if calling for the sleeping man.

"Zein, why is it that I want you so much?"