Theatrical Regression Life

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He separated himself from the character ‘Director Lee Jaehun’ in the novel.

‘To be honest, I didn’t intend to completely separate like this, but I had no choice.’

The protagonist realized that if he didn’t want to collapse the setting once it was discovered that he was accustomed to pain, he had to impose a new setting.

So, the ‘Director Lee Jaehun’ up to now became fake, and naturally, he turned into an actor close to having a split personality. In other words, it was a story that there was a separate ‘real Director Lee Jaehun’ apart from what had been presented so far.

And Lee Jaehun chose ‘title’ as evidence.

‘Jung Inho-ssi’

He said.

When using this title, Lee Jaehun was ‘real’ when using honorifics.

To create such evidence, he often used honorifics that didn’t suit him. When the protagonist tried to poke his sore spot to see his reaction, when he barely escaped from the monster and was exhausted to the point of death. He temporarily used honorifics when sharing honest stories that shouldn’t be heard by others.

‘Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m completely fake when I don’t use honorifics.’

The fundamental attitude toward the companions changed from the moment they entered the underworld, probably gradually revealing their true intentions and acting accordingly. Even admitting that Lee Jaehun was too injured to be acknowledged as fake.

Perhaps the protagonist would push Lee Jaehun based on such contradictions, hoping to hear ‘truth’ from him.

So the important thing is,

‘What will you set that ‘truth’ as?’

What will you show through that setting, and what can you gain…?

This had to be quite careful. How should they approach them? What should the protagonist think of me as? If he is the protagonist and we are supporting characters and everyone else in the world is an extra.

If this world is a novel, what role should Lee Jaehun himself play for the readers?

‘It’s convenient to step lightly as a villain for now.’

Simple logic.

As long as the protagonist is a good character, everyone in their party is a good character. However, such good characters had many restrictions on their actions, and there were also many things to worry about. Especially for people like Lee Jaehun, whose nature is already twisted, they were seeds that couldn’t fit together from the start, so they would only stress each other out.

However, if he were to play the role of a villain, or perhaps a neutral character, Lee Jaehun’s range of actions would inevitably widen. There would be various tasks to be done, such as being perceived not as a ‘good person,’ but rather as someone whose nature itself is not bad.

‘But I unexpectedly got pushed into a personality makeover….’

There was no way around it.

He had to strike at the right time, create the right situation with appropriate betrayal. If he followed the predetermined image now, he would have to live like a sucker for the rest of his life, and that was definitely not what Lee Jaehun wanted.

‘Once I meet the survivor team led by Detective Hong Kyungjun, conflict will inevitably arise.’

Since it had come to this, it seemed not bad to provoke as much as possible.

While dealing with the serial killer hidden among the survivors, their true nature would naturally be revealed….

‘It’s a good idea to occasionally stage harsh situations to prepare for that time.’

It meant ensuring reactions like ‘somehow’ rather than ‘why?’ among the group.

However, he shouldn’t appear entirely as a villain. Even if he couldn’t receive a single shred of affection, he needed to earn complete trust, and for that, he had to at least show some humanity.

‘This has already been set in motion.’

Lee Jaehun nodded inwardly.

To avoid excessive contempt or hatred, he had maintained the basic ethics that could be held as a human in this world. By showing respect for life or favoring minors.

However, it was necessary to inform others of his mental world in advance to avoid contradictions in his actions. In anticipation of overt confrontations in the future, Lee Jaehun had set up the premise of being a ‘survivor of the underworld.’ In the underworld where survival was paramount, no matter how plausible one’s ethics were, one’s hands could never be completely clean.

‘There’s a reason they say self-defense.’

Such a setting was good at evoking sympathy or empathy from people. He didn’t necessarily want to be seen as weak, but his actions warranted some applause for their magnitude.

‘So, if we combine all this….’

Lee Jaehun is a survivor of the underworld.

He had enough ethics to sacrifice for the elderly or those within his circle, yet despite that, he survived in the underworld. It meant he had tried just about anything to survive.

However, he was the only one among those who were devoured together at the time to survive, which inevitably blurred the concepts of life and death due to his experiences. Nevertheless, in order not to be labeled as mentally ill in reality, he lived by acting as ‘Director Lee Jaehun.’

‘If I openly reveal my true self, everyone will point fingers at me and say I’m crazy.’

Those who hadn’t experienced the underworld couldn’t understand Lee Jaehun.

He had lost much of his humanity in terms of survival, only to relearn it and continue living his life as he had before. For someone like him to be devoured by the underworld once again, how frustrating and fearful must it be? The underworld was a trauma in itself for him.

He had been lonely enough in reality, and nauseated in the underworld. Naturally, such Lee Jaehun was emotionally insensitive and chronically exhausted.

He slowly pondered the information.

‘Somewhere between a villain and neutral.’

‘The sole survivor of the underworld, who could make the protagonist’s party tremble with fear.’

‘Someone who is close to having a split personality, yet also a profoundly exhausted mental patient.’

So ‘Lee Jaehun’ roughly had such a setting and personality….

‘…a supporter.’

That’s how his role was determined.

In this novel, he had to become the protagonist’s supporter.

* * *

“If you have something to say, just say it, don’t beat around the bush.”

“….”

“Jung Inho-ssi, you probably feel that this is your only chance to speak up.”

The ordinary office worker protagonist suddenly finds himself in a strange world one day.

Though the structure of this place is similar to the reality the protagonist was living in, the atmosphere is entirely different. There’s no place without grotesque monsters, and they are lurking around, eyeing their lives.

But fortunately, or strangely, a person whom they usually thought of as a rigid boss took the lead in protecting and guiding them. Despite sustaining numerous injuries in the process, he didn’t show any signs of weakness, and the protagonist recalled the brief sense of relief he had seen in him before falling into this world from reality.

“Why? Is it burdensome?”

“…Perhaps.”

At that moment, the protagonist learned one thing: The discomfort he felt from the attitude of a doctor among their group somehow resembled that of the manager.

The doctor knew about this world. He referred to it as the underworld and exhibited an understanding calmness. It dawned on the protagonist that the rigid manager was actually a survivor of the underworld, and the discomfort he had often felt was based on this fact.

With only the appropriate number of people left, it was time to confirm if the speculation was correct….

‘Or so he thought.’

If this were a novel returning to the protagonist’s perspective.

Of course, Lee Jaehun himself wasn’t entirely sure if such thoughts and situations were true. He was only half certain, but until this scene ended, Lee Jaehun had to let them know that he was a ‘supporter’ who wouldn’t seem out of place even if he disappeared at any moment.

“The sooner you ask if you want to know something, the better.”

“…”

“I plan to close my mouth again when the group returns.”

He was just a senior who had experienced the underworld a bit earlier, and though he would throw himself to save people, he wouldn’t actively reveal his past.

Then comes the question, ‘why?’ Why didn’t Director Lee Jaehun reveal his past to others? Why did he deliberately act like a rigid boss, even if it meant being ridiculed?

Why did Director Lee Jaehun, why did Director Lee Jaehun….

‘He’s already a guy with too many thoughts, there must be more things bothering him.’

Life is tough.

He resigned himself briefly.

It was for the sake of preserving his dignity, for the future where he would be exposed by that repulsive subordinate and for the pride he would have to swallow in his future escapades.

‘Anyway, be a wise guy and keep living like that.’

And Lee Jaehun had to firmly imprint his image on this clever chick. In terms of position, he had to become a presence that was ‘the main character but with unresolved past’, or ‘with many secrets but still trustworthy from a business perspective’.

However, due to the chaos, he made mistakes here and there, and his image got tarnished. He had to gradually unravel these issues and somehow carve out a new role for himself.

He patiently waited for the protagonist’s next line.

“…Do you remember what conversation we had before being dragged away by the monsters?”

It was a shallow trap.

‘It must be a question aimed at reminding them that I’m not the real deal.’

The fact that the group returned unscathed from a situation where they could easily have died raised suspicion. The protagonist, who was already thoughtful, wouldn’t overlook this point, and through this question, he was confirming if the person before being dragged away was genuine.

He nodded slowly, knowing that delaying here could lead to unnecessary suspicion and headaches.

“I said I would tell you if you wanted.”

“What about?”

“Well, why I was acting weird?”

Lee Jaehun let out a tired laugh.

It was a laugh that was exhausted and self-deprecating, almost resembling a sigh.

“…It’s a headache.”

“Why?”

“People like Jung Inho-ssi don’t easily believe guys like me.”

“…?”

“So, it’s been a headache. Since you joined….”

He wiped away a small bead of sweat from his face again.

“…It was tough.”

It was sincere.

Really, truly sincere.

‘At most, he’ll roll his eyes, but…’

The current Lee Jaehun wasn’t particularly perceptive. Yet, despite that, he could somehow catch the drift of the insults thrown his way. As a result, dealing with Deputy Jung Inho, who had about 50% thought of concealing disdain, required numerous clashes.

It would be painful to think that anyone who didn’t listen to him was his direct subordinate.

‘They’re not exactly looking for a proper answer, so I wish they’d just apologize with a downcast face. But that’s not in the protagonist’s nature.’

Of course, the phrase ‘it was tough’ he mentioned just now might not have sounded like that’s what he meant.

He spoke softly, exhaling as he did so.

“Just say it. It’s already tiring enough without playing mind games.”

“I know what you’re going to ask.”

“It’s obvious. Why are you acting so crazy? Why have you been sitting around managing that image until now? Why….”

“…”

“…Ah.”

A sudden, faint sigh.

Lee Jaehun calmly turned his gaze towards the doctor, as if he had realized something, and Doctor Ha Sungyoon responded with his characteristic gentle smile. It seemed to be the answer, and Jaehun nodded slowly as if acknowledging it.

Within him, Lee Jaehun added a touch of resignation.

“Strange.”

“…”

“Who is it?”

“…Who?”

“The crazy one.”

He added.

“You’re surrounded by him. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a crazy person.”

“…..”

“And so the bastard who brought you all the way here… probably exists.”

The doctor’s face hardened at those words.

Whether it was because Lee Jaehun insulted his friend, or because Lee Jaehun knew something he had never told him before, he didn’t know. But it was more likely the latter. If they were really close friends, Ha Sungyoon would have died long ago.

Lee Jaehun continued, with a bitter smile on his lips.

“It happens sometimes. They get dragged in under the guise of understanding, and end up dying like that….”

“….”

“Excuse me.”

With those words, Lee Jaehun withdrew his hand from his lips, revealing a faint trace of worn-out joy within. It wouldn’t have seemed like a smile that would appear entirely sane.

He decided to relinquish control at this point.

“So, what are you curious about?”

“…You seem to know more than I expected.”

“If you call this knowing.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means I feel like my head is going to explode with pain right now.”

The protagonist fell silent, and soon, all expression vanished from his face. Lee Jaehun couldn’t help but be impressed by the swift change.

After a brief pause, the protagonist’s voice came through.

“What do you know?”

“…”

“Why do you… seem to know so much?”

Disgust tinged his words.

“Are you crazy?”

“…”

Inevitably, laughter burst out.

“…Ha.”

It was a laugh aimed at no one in particular.

‘Crazy.’

That word felt a bit sad and pitiful.

Back in the world I remember, I might have had a bit of a bad temper, but I never heard anyone call me crazy to my face. But here in this world, I’m being labeled as insane like this. It’s strangely chilling and numbing. It took my breath away.

Lee Jaehun gently revealed that emotion. Regardless of how I really felt, showing such emotions didn’t seem entirely unnatural in this context, so displaying the psychological state I had come to hold wasn’t a bad choice.

He cleared his throat lightly.

“…”

The hardened blood shatters into fine pieces, reaching its end.

Crackling, blocking ears and tightening throat. Reflecting on the calmness of the person facing the end squarely. Yet, now, he acknowledges the moment that he might not be able to endure again, not realizing it fully.

“My life has always been dreadful.”

He knew he would never be able to love something in his lifetime.

“…Well….”

“….”

“Seems like you know everything, but hiding it would be amusing. Fine.”

With that, he spoke.

“I’ve been to this world before.”

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