Theatrical Regression Life

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His consideration had an excessively selfish aspect.

—

Jung Inho is a naturally suspicious person.

That wasn’t particularly unusual.

Any adult should know how to navigate their own path, and Jung Inho, who had many quirks in his nature, always received numerous sharp gazes from others.

In order to contribute as a member of society, he had to put in the effort.

He changed his values. He corrected his behavior. He fixed his expression.

Although the affection of others was pleasing to him, his inherent suspicion led him to develop a habit of observing people.

As a result, he discovered hidden losses and gains within affection and gradually developed his own principles.

Doubt, but don’t show it. Even if you don’t believe in human kindness, accept affection willingly.

Jung Inho, who had spent a turbulent adolescence, began to wear a sincere outer layer, turning it inside out.

For someone like him, Director Lee Jaehun was a challenging type to comprehend.

‘Why waste emotions unnecessarily?’

Emotional waste.

If Director Lee Jaehun himself had heard this term, he would probably shiver at the thought, but in his own way, Jung Inho appreciated efficiency.

In Jung Inho’s eyes, there was no one as inefficient and unlikable as Director Lee Jaehun.

Jung Inho disliked Director Lee Jaehun’s human side.

If he could recognize and ignore someone’s worthlessness, it would be better. However, Director Lee Jaehun was excessively affluent to just turn away. He had an abundance of money, emotional leisure, and even surplus emotions he could spend freely.

No matter how much he disliked it, Jung Inho couldn’t completely ignore Director Lee Jaehun.

He was what people commonly referred to as a ‘Kkon-dae’– a term implying someone with a dirty personality but higher in the hierarchy. Even if Director Lee Jaehun wasn’t a ‘Director’ the situation would likely be the same.

[Note:- ‘Kkondae’ is an expression used in South Korea to describe a condescending person. The slang noun ‘kkondae’ was originally used by students and teenagers to refer to older people such as fathers and teachers.]

Regardless, Jung Inho, who had somehow climbed up to the position of a deputy in a large company, couldn’t afford to provoke Director Lee Jaehun’s feelings.

Of course, whenever there was an opportunity, Jung Inho engaged in actions that could be irritating several times. However, regardless of that, he couldn’t meet Director Lee Jaehun’s gaze on an equal footing.

So, he disliked it. Beyond the notions of being worthless and pitiful, Jung Inho felt an instinctive discomfort that went beyond that.

When colleagues gathered to gossip about the manager, Jung Inho would force an awkward smile, but undoubtedly, he harbored a deep-seated aversion towards Director Lee Jaehun.

For a very long time.

However, he couldn’t recall when this aversion began, and Jung Inho didn’t find it strange.

After all, one doesn’t need many reasons to dislike someone.

And from some point, he began to find it strange.

“…Deputy Jung?”

“…Oh, Director.”

When Director Lee Jaehun appeared in an inappropriate place.

“Uh, yeah. That’s right. Just a moment.”

“Oh, sure….”

“Did Deputy Jung live here? Yeah, wait a moment.”

When he rescued a stranger, calling an ambulance urgently. When he didn’t care about the expensive bottle of alcohol and the broken wristwatch he bought with his money. When he prioritized a person’s life over valuable liquor and a watch.

In the midst of confusion, Jung Inho began to reconsider why he had harbored hatred towards Director Lee Jaehun.

“…….”

In the midst of the turmoil, he calmly glanced around.

The neighborhood where Jung Inho lived was commonly referred to as an underdeveloped area.

All battered cement floors. Trees with exposed roots. Speed bumps that were broken and only left traces.

Certainly, it was a slightly better area than the rundown neighborhood that managed just enough for people to live, without bothering to improve much, and therefore, not worth investing in.

Even if he drank a lot, why did Director Lee Jaehun come all the way here?

Knowing his personality, he would have been afraid of even a scratch on his expensive car and wouldn’t have spared a glance.

Perhaps he found the existence of such a village repulsive or pitiful, ignored it, and ultimately erased it from his memories.

Nevertheless, Director Lee Jaehun came to this run-down neighborhood, and he rescued the child, disregarding the alcohol that seemed to be the purpose of his visit.

Unlike his usual reaction where he would scream at the slightest scratch, he showed no interest in the shattered watch. It was as if he didn’t even recognize it.

‘…Blood.’

Even with blood dripping from his arm, he seemed to ignore it, not even mentioning it.

At that moment, Jung Inho, for the first time, reconsidered someone else’s value.

While the watches collected by Director Lee Jaehun were all expensive and sturdy, they were no match for the neglected, rough cement floor.

Just a fall would embed various sand and stone fragments into the wounds. With the weight of the embraced child, Director Lee Jaehun, who fell backward, couldn’t be unharmed.

His palm was a mess of various substances and freshly oozing blood. The watch’s glass was shattered, likely hitting a protruding rock fragment, embedded in his hand and wrist.

Although not a severe injury, it was a cruel sight that might evoke sympathy in anyone who witnessed it.

Director Lee Jaehun, who had kept the bandage on his injured arm, which he must have deemed significant, removed it and saved the driver who crashed into a pole.

Jung Inho, who was nearby, caught a faint scent of alcohol from the driver, but Director Lee Jaehun’s gaze remained so calm that there was no hint of any anger or resentment, unfitting for the circumstances. It was perplexing why, even after valuing alcohol, watches that he cherished to the point of screaming at the slightest scratch, and his own body more than anything else, he remained silent in the face of all the pain.

‘Why?’

His head ached with various questions.

Even a small cut on paper would make him recoil in pain. Then when did that arm get injured? Was the wound so severe that it required a bandage? Why didn’t he show any reaction even when the wound reopened?

Despite bombarding Director Lee Jaehun with questions, he remained silent.

‘Why?’

Every question raised more confusion.

And when he finally took Jung Inho to a secluded place, he could no longer swallow his questions.

“Wherever we’re going, don’t go around telling people what I did today.”

Why?

What you did, in my eyes and even to anyone else, seemed like a genuinely good deed.

No matter how much I think about it, it was strange. It was strange that he rescued a stranger’s child so fervently, even discarding his watch and alcohol.

It was odd that he was so flustered, yet quickly called an ambulance. Even overlooking all of this, weren’t you someone who didn’t boast about your achievements more than necessary?

A person who used to exaggerate insignificant things at work, why in a situation where you should be confident, are you avoiding attention?

“Do you understand? If you get any strange calls from the driver or the parents later, you know it’s going to be a hassle, right?”

“Oh… strange calls?”

“Why pretend to be innocent? You know, in case they start demanding compensation for messing with them for no reason.”

I couldn’t comprehend it at all.

‘That’s an excuse.’

Doubtful Jung Inho realized that Director Lee Jaehun was making excuses.

Certainly, with keen perception, he sensed a faint human distrust in the manager’s gaze. However, even if he was a parachute into the role of an old-fashioned person, he was not a fool.

In fact, he showed outstanding talent in tightrope walking, and at least in terms of maneuvering through a situation, discussing compensation now seemed ridiculous.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry for nagging on my day off. You know I’m saying all this thinking about you, Deputy Jung?”

“Of course, Director. I’m listening to everything.”

“I cursed on a day off, and tomorrow is back to work. Be careful, Deputy Jung…”

“Director.”

The tone, the voice, the gaze.

Everything was surprisingly similar to the old Lee Jaehun, but with the drops of blood falling between the concealed sleeves, Jung Inho could no longer hold back his questions.

In response to a clearly intentional call, Lee Jaehun blinked.

“What’s up?”

“When did you injure your arm?”

“….”

Faced with a valid question, Director Lee Jaehun fell into silence.

“…Scratched by a protruding nail yesterday, so I went to the hospital for a bit.”

Once again, he offered an excuse.

A moment of hesitation. Jung Inho noticed it, and vaguely grasped its meaning.

He sensed that the voice had become a bit paler than before.

Literally, he heard the voice turning white, as if blood was draining from the skin.

In response to Jung Inho’s question, Director Lee Jaehun momentarily revealed a side not visible to others, quickly concealing it.

In that experienced duality, Jung Inho could uncover one absurd fact.

That person, Director Lee Jaehun, was familiar with pain.

‘So…’

Why?

“Oh, a nail? A wound like that shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“Yeah, that’s true… Anyway, luck seems to have abandoned me. Yesterday and today have just been chaotic.”

Why are you so accustomed to pain?

They exchanged words casually, but Jung Inho could clearly sense it.

Everything up to now was not a laughable excuse but Lee Jaehun’s genuine acting. It was not a fabricated lie.

As the conversation progressed, Jung Inho’s judgment became more certain.

“Oh, the watch is broken.”

“…”

“I was so distracted that I didn’t even notice the injuries on my hands.”

His voice calmly settled. The warmth vanished from his gaze.

Having observed so much, Jung Inho was already too familiar with the momentary shift to a lifeless demeanor.

In response, Director Lee Jaehun questioned, forcing a reply.

“Isn’t that right?”

“…I see.”

So, you too are living through acting.

The moment cheap speculation donned the attire of certainty, Jung Inho found himself grappling to transform speculation into conviction. However, he couldn’t precisely discern what it was.

In Jung Inho’s investigation, Director Lee Jaehun appeared excessively fluid—a person sometimes light enough to fly and sometimes heavy enough to sink.

At times, he seemed to view the world in an incredibly simplistic manner, displaying short-lived thoughts, while in other instances, he appeared deep in contemplation about everything, carrying all the worries and confusion.

Director Lee Jaehun had a unique quality—swinging between moments of harshness and sudden tenderness—something unprecedented in Jung Inho’s experience.

Even viewing him solely as ‘Director Lee Jaehun,’ the man defied categorization. His existence posed a profound puzzle that defied the trajectory of all the chaos that had come before.

His whisper sent shivers through the internal organs, and a ringing echoed in Jung Inho’s ears. Whether it was due to the nauseating shades of gray in this damn monochrome world or if it was Lee Jaehun himself, who resembled such a colorlessness, Jung Inho couldn’t quite tell.

Losing composure, Jung Inho determined that he could no longer define him.

Despite this, when Director Lee Jaehun returned with wounds one by one after letting himself go, his appearance…

“…That damned son of a b****.”

It was as complicated as it was infuriating. Eventually, Jung Inho did as Director Lee Jaehun anticipated and returned to the group. There was no other option.

It was too dark to follow Director Lee Jaehun to wherever he was being led. Although Jung Inho had a lighter, it was insufficient to illuminate the path, and more importantly, there was no certainty that finding him would lead to rescuing him.

Jung Inho’s stamina, worn out from a day of running and walking repeatedly, was already at its limit. It would be a relief if they didn’t end up as prey for the monsters. Of course, the same applied to Director Lee Jaehun.

‘No, it’s even worse for him.’

The monsters had inflicted burns and torn into Director Lee Jaehun’s legs, yet he willingly accepted it and moved on, seemingly unfazed.

To Jung Inho, who was cynical about everything, it was an astonishing sight. However, even in a world where one could move with the power of mental strength, Director Lee Jaehun seemed to have reached his limits, at least in Jung Inho’s perception.

How could someone like him withstand such a massive monster?

But there was no choice.

There was no time to turn back, and Jung Inho was the only one left to protect the group now that Director Lee Jaehun had disappeared.

Moreover…

“….”

Director Lee Jaehun had clearly said, ‘Let’s meet again when it’s bright.’ It was a kind of promise, and until he was dragged away, he never apologized.

Even if it was due to his bad personality, there was a certain level to it. Jung Inho thought that someone who reassured people and then went to die without saying a word of apology wasn’t entirely evil.

“It’s not like he’ll die.”

That was a kind of assurance, and until he was dragged away, Director Lee Jaehun never apologized. Even if it was due to his bad personality, there was a certain level to it. Jung Inho thought that someone who reassured people and then went to die without saying a word of apology wasn’t entirely evil.

If Director Lee Jaehun isn’t some kind of demon, that is. No matter how much he thought about it, Jung Inho couldn’t believe that Director Lee Jaehun, who had reached such a state, could come back alive. However…

Director Lee Jaehun hadn’t been living healthily with all the crazy things he had done so far. Even though he was dragged away without saying he’d come back, Jung Inho believed that he would return alive.

More precisely, he decided to think that way.

“….”

Jung Inho staggered towards the flickering campfire.

“Oh, Inho-ssi. You’re here?”

“Yes.”

Jung Inho nodded in response to Team Leader Kang calling him.

Although overwhelming fatigue pressed down on his form, Jung Inho managed to open his mouth.

Seeing his state, Team Leader Kang widened her eyes slightly.

The gazes of the group subtly dispersed as they searched for someone. The siblings looked at Jung Inho with faint furrows in their brows.

After a brief or perhaps long moment, Team Leader Kang, who used to be close with him, spoke.

“Inho-ssi.”

“Yes.”

“Director-nim… where is he? Where…?”

She cautiously brought up the topic, but her eyes trembled with anxious glimmers.

“….”

What lay inside him was a sense of loss.

In just a few hours, Jung Inho felt that Director Lee Jaehun’s value had increased.

Yes, even those who used to gossip about him occasionally seemed worried now.

People who talked about their superior behind their back weren’t showing concern for him, right?

Thinking about Director Lee Jaehun’s hidden nature, Jung Inho suddenly couldn’t recall how he used to smile.

I must have cracked a more frivolous smile or perhaps made some light gestures. Maybe I shrugged my shoulders with a somewhat nonchalant comment.

Jung Inho felt that he was rapidly growing exhausted.

The absurd notion that the colorless world was sucking away the brain inside his skull resonated anew, and the sound of droplets falling from his ears was audible. The uneven cement floor echoed with the sounds of a bottle shattering and a watch glass breaking.

Finally giving up the casual facade, Jung Inho exhaled a disappointed breath and chuckled.

“He’s been taken.”

He couldn’t summon any other expression or words.

If it were Director Lee Jaehun instead of me in this situation, he would have presented a more plausible excuse, just as he had done until now. He would have showcased his adept acting skills.

Jung Inho couldn’t discern what expression he was making.

“…What?”

“He was taken away by a toothy vine.”

It seemed like he lacked the courage to fabricate lies, even in such a situation, where he wasn’t here. If Director Lee Jaehun were present, he would have crafted a more convincing excuse, as he had done before. Jung Inho couldn’t determine what kind of expression he was wearing.

The two youngsters in black school uniforms.

Their faintly revealed emotions were clearly resentment.

“He got dragged away?”

“Did the man get dragged away?”

A tense voice.

Clenched fists. Furrowed brows and jittery pupils that betrayed anxiety.

Beneath the facade of basic courtesy, there was anger directed at Deputy Jung, the one who had allowed Director Lee Jaehun to be taken away.

Pretending not to care, the accusatory gazes pierced through his tired exterior.

In that moment, Lee Jaehun felt an inexplicable sense of repulsion. But lacking the strength to cry, and finding it too terrifying to laugh, he could only twist his lips.

The stifling feeling surged, akin to ashes left after a forest fire.

Suddenly, he wanted to blurt out, “It’s my fault.”

It’s your fault.

“It was getting dark, so I had to temporarily compromise my awareness…”

“….”

“I didn’t even see that person with vines tied around their legs.”

Because of you, Director Lee Jaehun died back then.

‘It’s because of you.’

Lee Jaehun couldn’t help but chuckle at his own thoughts, twisting his lips without crying or laughing.

It was the inherent tendency to cling to the strong. Despite not trusting people, he wanted to borrow their strength.

Because of his nature to use his youth as a weapon, pretending to be weak, Director Lee Jaehun, who had tried to save the group in any way he could, died. Team Leader Kang, Intern Noh Yeonseok, also died.

As expected from what Lee Jaehun had anticipated at the company, someone’s death brings resentment to the survivors.

Unable to direct that resentment towards the deceased, the living resentment turns towards another person, and if possible, towards the most distant one.

To avoid collapse, even if it means shifting the blame for the guilt onto someone else, he searches for a scapegoat.

It’s a remarkable tale, but truly cruel and surprisingly, for all his immaturity, Lee Jaehun had, until now, tried to uphold a kind standard towards the weak.

He found someone to blame, and the target was the underage siblings, and he did not hesitate to deny it.

To Lee Jaehun, they seemed like an unacceptable enemy.

“I’m sorry.”

“Inho-ssi.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no….”

Stumble!

With a trembling voice, Team Leader Kang rose from her seat.

Coming over to him, Team Leader Kang, with whom he had spent the most time, embraced him.

Then, her comforting touch was shaky but gentle, and beyond that, the faces of his colleagues showed no resentment.

There was only sadness and hesitation.

Unable to muster the courage to look at the faces of others, Lee Jaehun simply raised his hand and embraced Supervisor Kang.

His fingertips, stained with dirt, touched the bloodstains on his dusty suit.

After a brief pause to catch his breath,

“……”

A gentle warmth was felt in the faint chill.

It was an interspecies contact of reason, but it conveyed no hint of affection, just a comforting touch that could be seen because they were human.

A touch of comfort, as if saying to themselves, filled with a slight chill.

“……”

He exhaled a deep sigh.

“Sorry….”

No tears came out.

‘No one has died.’

So, when the day breaks.

When this tiresome darkness recedes and the monochrome white sky paints itself like a picture.

If, without relying on a bonfire or a lighter, I can see Director Lee Jaehun’s body with clear eyes. If I confirm his death.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“……”

“It will be okay….”

Only then will I try to cry.

Facing death, it’s too difficult to endure like this.

* * *

“Hoo, huu….”

Leaning against a tree, catching his breath after running, Lee Jaehun suddenly blinked at a passing thought.

“……”

Surely they’re not fighting because I’m not there?

‘Well, the chicks’ fight is bothering me strangely.’

Strangely, the siblings had a dependent side to Lee Jaehun. Of course, such trivial aspects pleased him, but the memory of the protagonist engaging in a subtle power struggle emerged, making him feel uneasy to some extent.

Could this be the feeling of bringing offspring to the market?

Lee Jaehun, momentarily flustered, glanced at the entangled vines that had caught up with him, then resumed walking. In one hand, he tightly gripped a pipe.

He cursed at the pungent smell of blood.

“…Damn, this is crazy.”

Does it have to come to this, even parenting?

Really?

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