Chapter 26 - The Confession
Milly eased herself into the warm tropical sea, letting the salty waters strip away her aches and pains. She sighed deeply, dipping her head below its surface and running fingers through her hair’s tangled mess. She could feel the gentle current slowly digging away at the grime that had built up on her skin since arriving in this world. Each speck of dirt and grime that flaked off and floated away on the current made her feel a little bit lighter.
She looked over at her gown and spectacles, resting gently on the edge of the stony bathing pool. Calista had spotted the formation, hidden from view behind a rocky outcropping off a small sandy beach. The pool was a perfect circle of stone, carved out at the edge of the water, four feet deep and eight feet across, with just enough current flowing through it to continually refresh the water inside.
Milly leaned back, and stared at the cosmos above, the stars reflecting their light off the water and casting their dim glow across the world. Their light joined shimmering bioluminescent corals of blue, yellow, and pink in the waters below, creating a magical atmosphere around her. It was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.
“Damn it,” came a frustrated whisper from behind the ledge that sheltered the stony pool from view. Milly suppressed a chuckle.
“Are you okay, Calista?” Milly called, wondering what the woman was up to. Calista had insisted on using the pool first, emerging wrapped only in her towel with short red hair plastered to her face. Her skin glowed in the moonlight, and Milly had blushed from head to toe, grateful for the darkness as she rushed behind the ledge for her turn.
“I’m fine,” answered Calista. “Take your time. It is not ready yet.”
Calista had been acting strange since they left the tower, an awkward silence living where conversation usually flowed so freely. Milly wanted to attribute it to the aftermath of the tragedy they had just survived, but somehow, she knew it was something more than that. But she trusted Calista and knew Calista would tell her when she was ready.
She watched another fragment of dirt float to the top of the pool and get carried out to sea by the current.
“Trust,” she whispered to the stars, letting her mind wander as the gentle waves lapped at her bare skin. The word felt out of place in her life. Her mother had died when she was three. Her father had abandoned her. She had been shuffled between foster homes and abused by the man she had been told to trust. She had long ago resigned herself to a lonely and forgotten life, where trust was just another luxury she could not afford.
Yet she trusted Calista, and that trust shook her to the very core of her being.
“I trust Rain,” she told herself, running her hand across the surface of the water and watching the ripples collide with the stone shelf. As a kid, she used to lay in bed and fantasize about what it would be like to have a real family. A family that cared for her. A family that loved her. Rain was how she imagined an older sister. A patient guide and sturdy rock as she explored a world of emotional turmoil.
Calista was not that. Calista made her feel something she thought buried beneath years of pain and loneliness. A feeling she had long given up on, dead and forgotten.
Rain did not make her heart flutter.
And Calista did.
“Damn it, Milly,” she scolded herself, grabbing her gown and thrusting it into the warm waters. “Now is not the time for a journey of self-discovery. Now is not the time to be happy.” Her hands grasped and pulled at the gown, channeling her doubts and frustrations into it until she pulled it from the water and saw it sparkling like the stars high above.
Milly clutching the gown to her chest, letting her thoughts of Calista drift away on the current. It was just a fantasy, and now was not the time to play make believe. She looked at the Tower a short distance away. It was a time for grief and fear, not for love.
She squeezed the water from her gown, laying it flat against the rocks as she climbed out of the pool. The air was cool against her skin, a slight breeze flowing through her long, black hair. She could feel the moonlight as it reflected off her skin pale skin, illuminating the scars across her wrists. The constant, inescapable reminders of the battles she had fought and lost every day of her life. An ugly girl illuminated against a beautiful world.
“Who could ever love me?” she whispered to herself, lost in her darkening thoughts. She picked up her gown, channeling a tiny fragment of fire into its silk until it was dry, and slipped it on. She slid her spectacles onto her nose and gently set her hat on her head, her weaknesses and imperfections hidden beneath the witch once more.
She walked away from the pool, a thick gloom settled inside her. Her familiar armor to protect against the disappointments of the world.
“Calista,” she sighed, walking around the corner, leaving her hopes and dreams in the pool to be carried away by the current. “I’m finished. Let’s head back to the tower and…”
“Wait, it’s not ready yet,” called Calista, as Milly stepped around the corner of the stony ledge that sheltered the pool from view.
Calista was standing barefoot in the white sand of the beach, holding a small lighter and trying to ignite the last of six tiny candles that she had placed on top of a large, flat stone. Their flames flickered in the gentle breeze, dancing shadows across the fruits that Calista had carefully arranged in the centre of the stone. She had fashioned a wooden bench from driftwood along one edge of the improvised table, large enough for two to sit and stare across the ocean waters and up at the starry sky.
“I…I was going to go find some flowers,” Calista said, apologetically. “I wanted it to be perfect.”
“You did this for me?” Milly asked softly.
Calista finished lighting the final candle. “I made a promise to myself on the beach. A promise I plan to keep.” She sat on the bench, facing the ocean, and gave Milly a gentle but nervous smile.
Milly sat next to her, their bodies so close that Milly thought she could feel energy arcing through the smallest of spaces between them. Deep inside Milly, a tiny light had sparked to life behind her armor.
They stared out at the ocean waves together in silence, listening to the crash of waves against the shore. Milly could sense Calista’s nervousness and saw the quiver in her arms that Calista was trying desperately to hide. This was not the strong and confident Calista. It was Calista stripped of her own armor, laying bare her deepest vulnerabilities. Trying to find the right words to follow through on her promise.
“We lost a lot of people today,” Calista whispered, her voice filled with unspoken feelings. “Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I do not want to live the remainder of my life filled with regret.”
Milly could feel Calista’s nervousness, but could see the determination and strength in Calista’s eyes.
“Milly, I…” Calista stammered, staring up at the stars. She was having trouble finding her words. They seemed to slip through her fingers, one by one, lost in the sand below.
Finally, Calista took a deep breath, and turned to look into Milly’s eyes, flickering flames merging their shadows cast against the pale sand. “Milly, I like you,” she said. “I mean, I like Rain too, just not in that way. I like you like you. I mean, I have feelings for you. I… I’m not saying this right…”
Calista’s words escaped her, tumbling into the air without elegance. Calista blushed, embarrassed, feeling as if the world were crashing down around her, her romantic gesture wasted with each passing second. The waves crashing against the rocks grew louder, mirroring Calista’s growing inner turmoil.
Yet with every word that reached Milly’s ear, Milly felt her armor crack. Thick, impenetrable armor perfected over years of loneliness. In another world, in another time, Milly’s mind would have been racing with a thousand doubts and fears, each reinforcing her armor and smothering the light growing within her. Keeping her safe. Keeping her alone.
But here, in this world, in this moment, as she stared into Calista’s eyes and listened to her tumbling words, those thousand doubts died in a fraction of an instant. The light within her grew shining brighter than the stars above, and Milly’s carefully constructed armor shattered within her.
“…and maybe it isn’t the right time. We can just forget this and…”
Milly leaned over, closing the tiny distance between them, and kissed Calista. A gentle, inexperienced kiss that carried more meaning than words could ever express. Electricity flowed between them, and Milly intertwined their fingers as Calista kissed her back. Calista’s clumsy words were carried away in the breeze, and all that remined was the touch of their hands and their soft, clumsy kiss.
It was the happiest moment of Milly’s life, and ignited within her a light that no darkness would ever eclipse.
“Are you sure?” Calista whispered softly when they finally separated, leaving a tingle on Milly’s lips that left her yearning for more.
Milly gently squeezed Calista’s hand, and she simply whispered, “Yes.” She leaned forward and their lips met again, the light within Milly growing so bright that it made every star in the heavens above jealous.
* * *
They stayed on that beach until their candles burned low, laughing and stealing giddy kisses until exhaustion of the day overtook them. As Milly reluctantly departed this special place, the place that had ignited her heart, she left the doubts and fears of her past behind to be carried far away on the waves.
“What now?” Milly asked, resting her head on Calista’s shoulder as they walked back to the tower, fingers interlaced.
“We keep moving forward, one day at a time,” Calista responded, tilting her head until it touched Milly’s soft black hair, “and we do it together.”
“Rain will be so surprised,” Milly said with a happy grin.
Calista smiled at the naivety of woman who made her heart flutter. “Why don’t you tell her,” Calista laughed, holding Milly close.
As they walked towards the tower, Milly felt herself full of hope and excitement for what lay in the days ahead.
Because for the first time in her life, she was not alone.