The Week I Turned Into Erin

I picked up my cell phone and I dialed his - I mean her - number. One ring. Two rings. On the third ring she answered in an unfamiliar voice. “Hello? Kathy?”

My name is Kathy. For the past several days I’ve been living with my parents. It wasn’t by choice. My boyfriend Aaron decided to be careless and injected himself with an experimental drug for money.

It all started last Sunday when I asked him to get a job. You see, we’ve been hurting financially for most of the year. Aaron bounced around temp jobs, unable to hold them. When the pandemic started he was laid off and the temp agency stopped calling. My hours were reduced too. We were bleeding money. I had to dip into my own savings to keep us afloat. I was angry. I tried to reduce our expenses. I cut up most of the credit cards, cancelled frivolous subscriptions. I cancelled all TV except Netflix. I even cancelled my birth control.

I was on the verge of leaving him. So I told him bluntly that we were broke, and if he didn’t get a job, I’d be gone. So Monday morning, he decided to finally take my advice, man up and get a job at the grocery store. While he did get the job, he also decided to make a very dangerous and careless decision for our household. He went to a sketchy clinic and signed up for a drug trial that promised him money in exchange for injecting him with a drug that he didn’t understand.

I didn't know this Monday night. He came home happy, with a nice sum of cash. I was happy that he finally showed initiative. Instead of sitting on the couch and blogging about Netflix shows, he was finally going to work for our household. I was naive. I didn’t think to ask him where he got the cash.

I loved Aaron. He knew how to make me melt into his arms. So he wooed me that night. We made love right there in the living room. I remember why I loved him again. He was so attentive to me and my needs and made sure I knew I was loved.

Typically our love life doesn’t involve marathon sex, so I was surprised when he was still hard and ready to go after round 1. So I continued pleasuring him and showing my gratitude. I should’ve known something was up as his longer fingernails dug into my back. That’s never happened before. He usually kept his nails very short. I was in a post-coital daze and I let a second round of sex happen. This time I forgot to insist on a condom.

I was such a nervous wreck after he came. Can you believe that he was ready to go again? I was so nervous I faked being asleep to prevent round 3.

When I got up Tuesday morning, Aaron was wide awake and getting ready for his new job. I missed seeing him this excited. I gave him a very long kiss. But I was still nervous about last night’s unprotected sex. I cannot afford to get pregnant. Figuratively, and financially. I sat down at the table and worried about it. Things will be fine I told myself. Aaron has a job now. We’ll get through this.

But worry became outright fear when Aaron came home deathly ill after work. We didn’t even see each other all evening. What was wrong with him? I suggested he not go to work tomorrow. I hoped he would do the responsible thing and saw a doctor tomorrow. If he dies from COVID, I don’t know what I’d do.

I had to work the following morning, so I didn’t even see Aaron for 24 hours. When he came home Wednesday evening I was shocked. He didn’t look like himself.

He was much shorter. I was used to him towering over me. Now he was my height. His hair was very shaggy. He looked very androgynous.

This is when he dropped a bombshell on me. He took a gender transformation drug on Monday. He’s been slowly transforming into a woman.

While I was relieved that he wasn’t dieing, I was so angry. How could he do something like this? We were in a serious relationship. I was eager for him to one day propose. Suddenly he decides he wants to be a woman. He told me it was a mistake. As if that’s supposed to make me feel better. I later realized he was wearing my clothes all day.

Again he successfully wooed me. He got me into bed that evening. But it does take two to tango. You see, I was rather curious about his body. I noticed he had budding breasts. He had a more feminine figure. I was intrigued. I started to play with his new breasts. He reacted instantly and got more turned on. Hearing him moan and react made me want more. I wanted to suckle at it. Unfortunately for both of us, he couldn’t maintain an erection. He shrugged off my attempts to play with his boobs and his attempts at trying to continue to have sex with a limp dick started to physically hurt. When I said it hurt, he stormed off out of the bedroom and to the living room couch.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I was mad. I was disappointed. My boyfriend blew up our relationship. I cried myself to sleep that night.

When I woke up Thursday morning, I resolved to go stay with my parents to sort this all out. I went to check on him sleeping on the couch.

He was sleeping there, still naked from last night’s sex, with a throw blanket half covering him up.

He closer resembled a woman now than he did last night. I was mesmerized by his new body. One of his breasts was exposed. On it was a very pretty nipple. Pinker than my own. I had this urge to lick it and suck it. Why was I thinking this?

He woke up to me staring at him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and helped him get ready for work. I offered up some of my clothes for him to wear. He seemed grateful.

I couldn’t stop staring. I was getting turned on by his transformation. But I was angry with him. Very angry with him. When he came out of the shower, I helped him get dressed. This is messed up. I’m dressing my boyfriend up in my clothes. I started tearing up. I had to leave. I knew my thoughts were betraying me. I couldn’t let him woo me again.

That’s when I told him I was going to my parents and not coming back home. It was the hardest decision I made. I loved Aaron. But this wasn’t Aaron anymore. I don’t know who this was. I was scared that I was having this strange reaction to this situation. I had to get away. I needed space. I needed time to think.

So after he went to work, I packed a week's worth of clothes and left.

He texted me each night before he went to bed. I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I kept thinking that the Aaron I knew was gone. And this imposter was trying to move into his place.

On Friday night, I was checking my social media when I saw a post from Aaron. In the picture staring back at me was a woman who looked a lot like Aaron’s sister Emily, and another girl. A much younger girl. His caption was “Out on the town with my new friend Sierra.” That’s not Emily - is that Aaron? Who was this Sierra? Was I so easily replaced?

I was furious. Aaron texted me again tonight. I blocked him.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about that picture.

Before all of this happened, I actually thought Aaron’s sister was quite attractive. There’s been times where Emily invited us over to her family’s house. I’ve caught myself staring at Emily. Her legs. Her ass. But usually I catch myself and forget about it. I’m straight. I’m into Aaron. I shouldn’t be attracted to women.

But this new Aaron. This new Aaron is more attractive than Emily, and I couldn’t look away. Maybe I’m actually Bi. No. I’m straight. I shouldn’t have these thoughts.

I’ve always avoided thinking about other women that way. But the moment I saw Aaron with feminine features, it unlocked something in me. Was it OK to be turned on by women? What would it mean for my relationship with Aaron if I was bi?

I needed to confront this other woman.

I tried to do a search on this ‘Sierra’ but I couldn’t find her anywhere. Where would Aaron have met her so soon? I could only think of one place.

On Sunday morning, I stormed into the grocery store looking for Sierra. I asked around for Sierra, and nobody knew who I was talking about, except one teenage girl cashier. She told me I wouldn’t find Sierra here, but knew someone who might know where to find her. She picked up the intercom. “Ben, please come by register 6.”

A teenage boy came by. “Kathy?” he asked.

“Yes. How do you know who I am?”

“I recognize you from Aaron’s social media accounts. I’m his friend Ben. What are you doing here? Aaron’s not working today.”

“I think he’s cheating on me with some bimbo named Sierra.”

The boy and cashier looked at each other and back at me. “Kathy, let’s have a seat.” he said

He led me to a bench outside the store. We both sat down.

“Aaron’s been trying to get in touch with you.” he said.

“I blocked him when I saw his picture Friday night.”

“Oh” he said. “Kathy. You really need to talk to her.”

Her? “You know about that?”

“Yes. I also know that she’s been pining for you since you left.”

“I.. I’m not ready to see or talk to him- to her.”

He lowered his head. “That’s understandable,” he said. “I imagine if I came out to my family they’d stop talking to me as well.”

Wait. What? “I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me… Ben.”

“Kathy”. He took a deep breath.. “I’m Sierra. I’m trans. Erin has been a friend. A very good friend. Helping me through a very difficult time. You have a great... boy.. friend.”

I was stunned. I looked at his face. I can see it. The resemblance to the girl in that picture.

“You’re trans? You’re not dating him?”

“No. She’s been like a mentor. In fact, I’m dating the cashier back there. Erin helped set us up.”

“Erin?”

“You really need to talk to her.”

“It’s hard. I don’t know where to begin.”

“Start with... Hello.” Ben smiled. Then he laughed.

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just that. I had a hard time saying “hello”. It was Erin who gave me that push.”

I thanked Ben for his time and went home. I had much to consider. Aaron has always been sweet and considerate. I never really got other people’s perspective on the matter. Hearing Ben talk so highly of him made me remember why I loved him.

On Sunday afternoon, I read Aaron’s- or rather- Erin’s blog post, “The Week I Became Erin.”

He didn’t call me out by name, but he did say that “This week has been a mixed bag of emotions. Some friends and family have embraced the new me, and some have not. I do miss them, but I will continue pushing forward.”

On Monday afternoon, I decided to finally call him. I picked up my phone, I unblocked Aaron.. or rather Erin. I called her.

On the third ring she answered in an unfamiliar voice. “Hello? Kathy?”

“Hi Erin.” I said. “I’m ready to talk.”