Chapter 56 - I Hate Being Alone. I Can't Live Without You (4)
Nocturnal.
Bluebell appeared to stay up late.
Despite the clock showing 1 AM, she was still so energetic.
“Hey Damian. Got anything else to talk about?”
“… I’m sleepy now. Can’t I sleep?”
“No. Stay up and talk with me all night!”
Lying in bed and staring at the ceiling made me sleepy.
But Bluebell’s chatter kept me awake.
Whenever I started to doze off…
“Hey Damian. You’re not sleeping, right? Wake up.”
Poke! Poke!
She kept poking my side to jolt me awake.
Tonight, it seemed Bluebell wouldn’t let me fall asleep.
I glared at her with bleary eyes.
She was lying on her side, looking at me.
“… When are you going to sleep, Bluebell?”
“After you leave the room.”
“… I want to ask why.”
“Don’t waste time. We haven’t been together for a while. It’s better to stay awake as long as possible.”
She wanted to make the most of our time together.
That was typical of Bluebell’s greedy nature.
Looking at me, she asked.
“Damian, aren’t you going to get engaged?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Why?”
“Someone has to propose to me. Engagement isn’t something you do alone.”
“… Really? So, you’re open to the idea of getting engaged?”
I nodded slightly, agreeing with her.
Being born a noble in this world meant I was expected to get engaged and marry someone from another noble family.
However…
‘Can I really get engaged and married after charming these villainesses?’
A normal future seemed impossible.
It was almost out of reach.
‘Still, I’d like to try it once.’
A normal life with a good woman.
A domestic and happy life.
Bluebell seemed satisfied with my answer and nodded.
“So you’re not against marriage? That’s good. Nice answer, Damian.”
What’s good about it?
Bluebell smiled slyly, staring at my face.
Her blue eyes, in the early morning light, held a mysterious allure.
‘They seem darker than usual.’
It must be because the lights are off.
I brushed it off as my imagination and kept eye contact with Bluebell.
“…”
“…”
We didn’t say anything and just looked into each other’s eyes.
Even without speaking, we maintained our gaze.
I felt a fluttering sensation near my heart, like it was being tickled.
‘I feel embarrassed…’
Bluebell seemed to feel the same as her face turned red.
Well, it would be strange not to feel embarrassed when our noses were almost touching.
The silence made me realize just how pretty Bluebell was when she wasn’t talking.
Wouldn’t Bluebell get engaged when she became an adult?
That thought made me feel a bit uneasy.
Still, I wanted to hear her thoughts.
“So Bluebell, what about you?”
“What?”
“Do you plan to get engaged when you become an adult?”
“Of course, I plan to get married. Honestly, if I don’t, who will? Someone like me not getting married would be such a waste, right?”
Bluebell’s confidence was overflowing.
Still, it was better to see her like this than when she was overcome with sadness.
A smile naturally formed on my lips.
“Yeah. If you don’t get married, it would be a waste.”
“So you think so too?”
“For now, yes.”
“What’s with ‘for now’? Whatever, you’re always like this.”
But still…
“I understand how you feel about me.”
Bluebell smiled back at me.
Her warm smile made my body relax, and my eyes began to feel heavy.
This wasn’t my will but a warning from my body.
‘My body is tired, but do you really plan to stay awake? That’s tough.’
My body was telling me to close my eyes.
It seemed that my usual six hours of sleep wouldn’t be enough to handle today’s schedule.
‘Studying, attending lectures, and then cleaning Bluebell’s room today…’
It looked like I couldn’t hold out any longer.
Bluebell noticed my eyes closing and shouted to keep me awake.
“Hey. Is that it already?! No way! Talk with me more!”
“No matter what you say… This is my limit…”
“Shut up! Just don’t close your eyes! If you sleep, I’ll do whatever I want, got it?!”
“I don’t care… Do whatever you want…”
I decided to sleep.
I couldn’t stay awake any longer.
As my eyes slowly closed, I heard Bluebell’s faint whisper.
“Really… You said anything? Whatever I want?”
She was saying something to me, but I couldn’t understand it as I fell into a deep sleep.
***
“Really? I can do whatever I want? Anything?”
“…”
No response.
‘So, I can really do whatever I want, right?’
Bluebell poked Damian’s cheek with her finger.
“…”
“Looks like he’s really asleep.”
Damian lay there defenseless, deeply asleep.
Bluebell couldn’t stand still.
She couldn’t resist.
“You said it, right? That I can do whatever I want? I’m not at fault?”
Slowly, she squirmed closer to the sleeping Damian.
The distance that had been nose-length shrank to the point where their lips could touch.
“…”
Gulp!
Bluebell’s face turned crimson as she decided to be more greedy.
She slid down to Damian’s chest and then snuggled tightly into his arms.
“… This is nice. Comfortable.”
She felt something indescribable filling her once-empty heart.
Burying her face in Damian’s chest, she inhaled and exhaled deeply.
Her heart raced, and she felt a sense of fulfillment.
“This, this is addictive… Oh no…!”
She hurriedly pulled back.
Bluebell took a deep breath and quickly escaped from Damian’s embrace.
“Am I really getting addicted to Damian? Ha… that’s funny! What is it about him that would make me addicted? Me…”
…
‘Should I try it one more time?’
Succumbing to temptation, Bluebell moved back into Damian’s arms.
Pride only mattered when others were watching, not when she was alone.
And right now, Damian was fast asleep.
“He won’t know whatever I do, this idiot.”
But surely.
“He doesn’t act like this in front of other girls, right?”
If Damian showed this side to other girls…
‘I’d want to kill them both.’
Gritting her teeth, Bluebell felt a surge of jealousy.
The thought of Damian being close to another girl was unbearable.
“If you get engaged to another girl, I’ll kill you both. If you want to date, do it with me. If you want to get engaged, do it with me. It’s your fault my heart feels this way.”
Normally, her pride would prevent her from saying such things.
But, taking advantage of Damian being asleep, she let her feelings spill out.
Embarrassed, she buried her face in his chest again.
Thump! Thump!
“I can hear his heartbeat… Damian’s heart beats like this. I want to have it.”
The steady rhythm and the comforting sound.
Listening to it, Bluebell felt her defenses melting away. Her heart naturally felt peaceful.
“Is this what love is?”
Good.
I feel at peace and happy.
No sad thoughts at all.
Bluebell moved Damian’s arm to wrap around herself and hugged him back.
“This is your fault for making me like you.”
The bad dreams she used to have every night.
With Damian, she felt she wouldn’t have those nightmares.
If Damian stayed by her side forever, she knew she’d be happy.
Now she was sure.
“I really hate being alone. More than anything, I need you, Damian.”
‘With you, I don’t need anything else.’
Even without money or fame, being in your arms would make me happy.
Bluebell slowly closed her eyes in Damian’s embrace.
“Should I send engagement papers…”
She whispered her wish, and feeling happy, she drifted off to sleep.
“If you leave me again… You’ll really die… One of us will die…”
With a grim warning, Bluebell’s words were sincere.
If Damian abandoned her, she was prepared to kill and die.
The only thing left for her in this world was her love for Damian.
***
I woke up and saw an unfamiliar ceiling.
“Right. This is Bluebell’s dorm.”
The time was… 5 AM.
It would be best to leave before the students start their day.
I barely managed to open my eyes and tried to get up.
But then.
“Why’s she sleeping here?”
Snuggled in my arms like a baby, Bluebell was peacefully asleep.
‘No wonder my arm feels numb… She was using it as a pillow.’
Carefully, so as not to wake her, I slipped my arm out from under her head.
Why was she sleeping like this?
Though I was curious, there wasn’t time to ponder it.
I needed to leave quickly.
‘My bag is over there… and Bluebell is…’
She was sleeping soundly.
It was best to leave without waking her.
I lifted her head and placed a pillow under her neck.
“Mmm… Damian… if you run away, I’ll kill you…”
“What kind of dream is she having?”
She was having an interesting dream early in the morning.
I chuckled and covered her with a blanket.
Bluebell looked like a baby and lay there breathing evenly.
“Goodnight Bluebell. I’m leaving first.”
I hoped she’d have sweet dreams and attend her classes today.
With that wish, I opened the door to the girls’ dorm.
“Oh, right. This is the girls’ dorm. How am I supposed to get out?”
‘This is bad.’
I thought I had handled everything, but there was still much to do.
My mind went blank.
——
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