Chapter 278: [Side Story] Lizzy Poliana Louerg - Love and Hate(5)
Ferzen’s final words delivered a considerable shock to Lizzy in a different sense.
Me? Being a hypocrite?
Lizzy dismissed it as ridiculous, absurd nonsense, but immediately after, she was startled by Lobelia’s faint moan and lifted her head.
At that, Lizzy unknowingly clenched her fist tightly.
No…He’s wrong…I’m not wavering between my revenge and the love for my child…
Can the act of watering a flower bed to pluck the flowers be described as growing attached?
Having finished that thought, Lizzy forcibly closed Lobelia’s diary and silently stayed by her sick daughter’s side without a word.
*****Lobelia, who had lost consciousness, opened her eyes around sunset.
Her fever hadn’t completely subsided, but the body with a lingering low fever evoked a relatively pleasant freshness.
However, since the fever hadn’t died down, before nightfall, the physician mixed antibiotics into the IV fluid once more and left the prepared medicine.Afterward, Lizzy fed her rice porridge and dissolved the prescribed powdered medicine in lukewarm water for Lobelia to drink.
“Ugh, eugh…”
Even Lobelia, who didn’t have picky eating habits, naturally frowned at the bitter taste.
Then, realizing that only her mother was by her side, she had a sullen expression.
Lizzy already knew where that reaction stemmed from since she had read the diary, but she tried to ignore it and wiped Lobelia’s body with a clean cloth soaked in water.
“Mo-mom…”
“What’s wrong? Do you want something to eat?”
“Uh, what about Dad…?”
Since Lobelia had never mentioned the word “dad” in front of her like this before, Lizzy, who was wiping her daughter’s body, flinched and stiffened.
And Lobelia, who immediately noticed her mother’s reaction, hung her head for no reason.
“Dad… didn’t come here.”
Perhaps Ferzen’s words were quite shocking.
Lizzy, who had consistently remained silent whenever Ferzen’s story was brought up, opened her mouth for the first time.
“You-you don’t know…”
At that, Lobelia thought that her father, Ferzen, didn’t know she was sick, which was why only her mother was by her side.
Thanks to that, Lobelia’s sullen expression improved considerably.
On the other hand, seeing that, Lizzy’s lips moved once more.
That he didn’t come even though he knew you were sick.
She clearly intended to say those heartless words firmly, but her trembling lips wouldn’t part easily.
Her eyes were still bloodshot and her body feverish.
A child who made herself sick with the purity of wanting a harmonious family, without even recognizing it as self-harm.
At the end of it, she was reaching out with her slender hands towards an unfulfilled wish.
The fear that she might wither away if she were to say such heartless words overwhelmed her.
But every time, Lizzy bit her lip hard at Ferzen’s words that came to mind.
A flower that she intended to pluck and weave into a dagger anyway.
Rather, if the child who should hate her father couldn’t do so, shouldn’t this not be ignored?
“Lobelia.”
“Yes.”
“…Let’s sleep.”
“Okay!”
However, unable to utter a single heartless word until the end, Lizzy lay down and covered herself with the blanket together with Lobelia.
Unlike the child who fell asleep quickly, Lizzy couldn’t close her eyes until late into the night.
Especially when she heard Lobelia’s moans as if her subsided fever was starting to rise again, Lizzy placed a cloth soaked in cold water on the child’s forehead and changed it several times.
At those times, deep regret surged for the moments a few hours ago when she couldn’t bring herself to speak.
In the end, it would be Ferzen who would be hated, not her, and her image as a relatively good mother wouldn’t crumble at all.
Why couldn’t she speak heartlessly?
The behavior of trying to taint the child with her malice while placing more importance on her position as the child’s mother.
The gap in between was, as Ferzen had said, a terrible hypocrisy, so Lizzy tightly clenched the cloth she had grabbed to change it.
“Why don’t you hate that man who keeps hurting your mother…?”
If she had resented her father as desired and been satisfied with just being by her loving mother’s side, this wouldn’t have happened.
“Why on earth…”
After repeatedly questioning the unanswered answer, Lizzy soaked the clenched cloth in cold water again and placed it on Lobelia’s forehead.
As dawn gradually broke, amidst the quiet silence, the sound of the door opening was heard, and Ferzen entered.
Ferzen had deliberately come to check on her condition at a time when Lobelia wouldn’t wake up.
However, the one who greeted him was Lizzy, who was still awake, sitting on the bed with an extremely tired appearance.
“……”
She thought he would spew out thick venom with a sharp voice.
But the reaction she showed was an indifferent gaze, as if looking at a pebble on the street.
“Da-dad…?”
Then, when Lobelia, who had woken up from sleep, unexpectedly opened her mouth with a half-asleep look, Lizzy glared at Ferzen like a beast that had just given birth and silently mouthed the words.
Leave right now.
Since he hadn’t come to have a staring contest, Ferzen obediently disappeared outside the door.
Immediately after, Lizzy patted Lobelia’s chest and put her back to sleep.
However, on the morning when bright sunlight filled the room, Lobelia opened her eyes and asked in a bright voice that made Lizzy’s efforts seem futile.
“Mo-mom…! Wh-where’s Dad?”
She was sure she had seen her mom and dad together in the same room.
When she opened her eyes, only her mother was by her side, so Lobelia was confused, but there was also a faint joy in it.
“Dad… isn’t here. He didn’t come.”
“No, no! I-I saw him! I saw Mom and Dad toge-“
“He didn’t come──!”
Complicated thoughts and mental fatigue.
A body that felt like it would collapse at any moment from staying up all night to nurse.
And yet, the first thing she said after waking up early in the morning was to look for Ferzen.
At that, Lizzy, who had unknowingly raised her voice, belatedly trembled and looked at her daughter’s face.
“Hic…! Hic…!”
In her wide-open eyes like black obsidian, there was a hint of tears that seemed like they would spill at any moment.
Her trembling lips twisted accordingly, and the hiccups that escaped clearly showed how startled the child was.
“I… I… Mom, that’s…”
Lizzy, who rarely stammered in front of her child, not knowing what to do, stumbled over her words.
“I’m… hic! So-sorry…”
Lobelia finally began to sob and burst into tears.
Despite having done nothing wrong, seeing the child repeatedly saying sorry, Lizzy felt a pain as if her heart was being cut out.
“No… I’m sorry for raising my voice, for raising my voice at you…”
When she stretched out her hands and pulled the small body into her arms, Lobelia cried even more violently.
As a result, her clothes were soaked with the child’s tears, and the damp sensation was incredibly painful for Lizzy.
*****After feeding her breakfast, giving her medicine, and having her examined by a doctor, Lobelia was taken out for a walk in Lizzy’s arms.
However, Lizzy’s expression was not good as the child, who was usually very talkative, didn’t say a word.
The small lips moved several times.
Then, they closed tightly, repeating the hesitation.
She wasn’t a fool, so how could she not know that the child was afraid of speaking?
After finishing the walk and returning to the room, Lizzy laid Lobelia on the bed and put her to sleep for a nap.
Perhaps because the medicine was seeping into her sick body, it didn’t take long for the child to fall asleep.
“……”
Was it because she was still receiving antibiotics mixed with fluids?
On the slender forearm where the needle was inserted, faint bruises were engraved, and Lizzy, who gently stroked them, made a sad face as she kindly arranged Lobelia’s disheveled bangs.
Ferzen’s point was that it was a somewhat clumsy way.
That certainly wasn’t wrong.
From the fact that she couldn’t refute it, she must have subconsciously known that this wasn’t enough.
Perhaps she couldn’t let go of the lingering desire to be a good mother, even if just a little.
She might have acted childishly, hoping that Lobelia would resent Ferzen in that clumsy way.
In the first place, tainting the child with her malice and being able to be a good mother were premises that couldn’t coexist.
What on earth did she want?
With a sorrowful smile, Lizzy lightly rang the bell.
Then, after a while, a maid entered the room.
“…Call him here.”
“Understood.”
As the maid bowed and left, Lizzy sat in her wheelchair and looked out the window.
Numerous thoughts were swirling in her unique purple eyes, but they quietly subsided at the small knocking sound that came soon after.
Creak.
Without bothering to control the maid, Lizzy moved the wheels with her own hands and went out the door.
In front of her was Ferzen looking down at her, and Lizzy, who met his gaze straight on, opened her chapped lips with difficulty.
“As you said… yes. As you said, it would be better to stop this shabby third-rate play…”
Was it a worthless stubbornness?
Or an unstoppable inertia?
Rather than forming a happy family as the child wished, Lizzy chose a direction that would simply cause less suffering, and Ferzen answered in a heavy voice.
“If that is your will… then so be it.”
A cool breeze blew through the secluded corridor.
And the two people there didn’t say anything for a while.
What more was there to say in the first place?
It was just that neither Ferzen nor Lizzy could easily take a step as if they were possessed by something and had lingering feelings.
Bam!
However, not long after, a loud noise coming from inside the room shattered the silence.
*****Lobelia, who faintly heard her father’s voice mixed with her mother’s voice, woke up from her nap and looked around.
Her mother was not by her side, but the conversation coming through the gap of the unclosed door made Lobelia’s ears perk up.
Was her way not wrong after all?
With a swelling expectation, wondering what on earth her mother and father were talking about, Lobelia got down from the bed and tiptoed towards the door, muffling her footsteps.
Ah…?
But at that moment, with a strong dizziness rushing up, Lobelia staggered on her slender legs and helplessly collapsed.
Bam!
A stiffness as if her whole body was becoming rigid.
Exceptionally, only her two arms and two legs began to tremble, and Lobelia, who was heavily panting, lost consciousness.
Bang!
The door was roughly opened, and what was engraved in Lizzy’s trembling purple eyes was…
“Ah, ah…”
The sight of Lobelia collapsed on the floor, convulsing and foaming at the mouth.
The moment she confirmed all of that, Lizzy felt as if the whole world was collapsing.
Her rapidly contracting pupils only contained the image of her daughter, and the tinnitus that seemed to erase all the noises of the world only let her hear the sound of her own heart beating roughly.
Thump!
Her head, which had finally become like a blank white paper, made her move without any thoughts.
As a result, Lizzy’s body, forgetting the fact that she couldn’t walk properly, collapsed miserably the moment she left the wheelchair.
Nevertheless, Lizzy tried to crawl, but her body, which had received a great shock, hardly moved.
At best, it was only about ten steps away.
But in Lizzy’s eyes, her daughter seemed to be lying far away, out of reach.
Squeeze!
At that, Lizzy turned her body to the side and desperately hugged Ferzen’s legs.
And with the lips that had been stubborn, prioritizing her own vengeance until just a moment ago…
“Sa, save her…”
She begged for her daughter’s life.
It was the most miserable plea in this world, and also the most earnest prayer in this world.
Tap.
Eventually, when Ferzen’s steps moved forward without a word, Lizzy felt an indescribable emotion and cried as if sobbing.
When her legs were trampled on.
When her life was ruined.
When her family left.
When her family collapsed.
The gods did not respond to any prayer.
No one reached out to them.
Why did her villain, who had not changed over the years, respond to this pitiful prayer?
At the same time, seeing her daughter being carried in Ferzen’s arms, Lizzy could realize.
Ah.
Aah…
The flower she had once tried to trample had taken root in her heart.