Chapter 74: Tour of The Forest
These guys are seriously persistent.
I was almost hoping for them to stop before the disaster zone and be like, nope go die inside alone.
Well…not really. They are professional hunters.
But I really wonder how long they will keep chasing me.
****
Apparently a really fucking long time. The author even added the star thingies to show a time skip.
Holy fuck are these guys hunters or marathon champions? We've been running all this while.
These guys would make that Forest guy look like a turtle. And I don't mean the awesome turtle that managed to beat the hare in the story.
But honestly, when I think about that story some things don't add up. Like why would the hare suddenly decide to sleep on the roadside? Why not just complete the race and then sleep!
If you ask me, pretty sure the turtle spiked a drink or something with sleeping pills. Only real explanation I see.
Wouldn't a story about perseverance turn into a story about scheming if we think about it realistically? Or maybe the hare suffered from narcolepsy? This is serious stuff people. I would feel bad for the hare. Not only no one cares but they are even praising the turtle.
What's with all the random turtle and hare thoughts? Well, I don't have anything else to do. Running over and over is kinda boring if you didn't know.
Usually, I would be jamming to some power metal while propelling my athletic body forward during every morning jog. Then some glistering pearls of sweat would gradually drop from my eyebrows and trace alongside my toned physique. Drip down my 6 packs until it falls to the ground. All of the cute neighborhood girls would coincidently be at their window just in time to see my dashing appearance.
Okay fine. That never actually happened. Would have been nice, however.
See I'm so free I'm even imagining a fake life and all. Ah, but I was serious about the power metal while jogging (albeit I almost never actually do). It consists of 3 essential things. It is power! It is metal! It is music!
This last paragraph has been sponsored by the power metal industry with groups such as …. jokes I'm the type of guy to let a playlist for hours on end. Want to ask me what group I'm listening to? Well, I don't know. Actually, I did know quite a few, but it all feels a bit fuzzy now.
Either way won't matter. I can't just go see a random habitant here and go do you know x group? They play some really awesome music in y universe. Ever heard of it? No? Ah, figures.
Time to add this to my bucket list. Find a way to play music with magic. Like c'mon fairly sure people here use magic to kill each other. That sounds like such a waste. Sounds, music, hehe.
Was it a bad pun? Well maybe. Try coming out with puns while getting hunted! Hunted, hunters, hehe.
Okay, I really need to stop. I mean the bad puns. I gotta keep running.
For some reason the usual brimming with life forest …is empty.
Where are all the monsters?
Not only do I not find the rank 3s I'm looking for, but most of the rank 2s seem to be also missing.
Is this some sick cosmic joke?
When I am just trying to go on walks I somehow get ambushed by a fox and a mantis and sent into hell vine territory.
Now that I am actually looking for monsters…they ain't here.
I keep passing trees that I recognize. Nothing alive.
Even my scanning abilities aren't helping.
Wait?! What's that!
Flame Boar! My old friend!
Wait no! That's bad!
He's coming this way! Won't he end up as pork chops!
I won't let my personal cooking assistant get murdered!
No way! He didn't even have the chance to taste the pies I can now bake!
Oh god no he's charging toward my pursuers!
He's gonna get diced…..or not?
Why are they all evading him?
Actually, one guy fell down. He's now on fire.
WTF.
What is up with these guys. They are really focused on going after me.
Oh, should I mention the fact that their leader has been cursing me all the while?
Legit non-stop. At first, I was sure this chase would go on for chapters just from writing the insults.
But apparently not. We are doing it this way instead.
So he is cursing, they are all running, the boar is charging.
Slowly but surely their numbers dwindling.
I'm sure they could fight back, but it would probably take some precious time.
Just need to do something.
[RUN AWAY BEFORE YOU GET HURT!]
"HELL NO, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT WILL GET FUCKED UP. I'LL REMOVE YOUR FLESH AND BARBECUE IT WITH THAT MOTHERFUCKING PIG HERE THEN I'LL…."
That's when I stop listening. But seriously why did he answer me?
I was obviously talking to the boar. Like sure we shared a night of drinking and playing, but no way I'll care about your safety by now.
You've been insistently sharing how you plan to ever so slowly end my life.
Like, c'mon dude.
Oh? Hell yeah! Jack-fucking-pot!
Guess what's in front?
It has no leg. It is white. It is slithering.
This one is strong enough to help I believe.
This is a huge gamble to be honest.
I'm not sure how Wolfie even rescued me from the giant snake's belly.
But chances are it remembers me. Chances are it won't try to eat me again.
I just hope it's not face-blind. You know how we have trouble recognizing animals sometimes? Well if that snake can't differentiate between humans then I'll be in trouble.
At this point still seems like the best course of action.
To be anyway.
Alright, I run some more until I reach that one spot.
I slowly turn around.
"NOWHERE TO RUN EH FUCKER! YOU THINK YOU STAND A CHANCE JUST BECAUSE THAT FUCKING BOAR MADE MY MEN RETREAT EH! I ALONE WILL BE ENOUGH TO FUCKING END YOU. I'LL MAKE SURE YOUR SUFFERING WILL BE LONG AND…"
[Hey dude wanna see something long and hard ;) ]
"WHAT?!...."
Suddenly the forest around my opponent turns even darker.
Above him a gaping maw.
Two sharp fangs.
Saliva dripping on his head.
How did that massive body get there so fast is what he must be thinking…
He tries to dodge and block, but he is not fast enough.
Darkness.
That kinda brings bad memories haha.
Yep. Angry uncle 0 giant snake 1.
And it's coming this way. Looking intently at me.
His gaze seems to pierce all the way to my soul.
Of course, I run away!
It keeps following me, but I am fast enough to evade it!
Thus starts another game of cat and mouse. Eh human and giant snake.