The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Have you ever been deep in thoughts about serious stuff like how amazing a pie is? So amazing your evening somehow flashes by. Usual nods and grunts of acknowledgment included. Small talk about random stuff. No vital information really. Sometimes I get tired when there are too many dialogues involved. Brain just kinda shuts off and focuses on what truly matters. Yes, that pie.

I've been going on about that pie for a few chapters already?

It is that good!

So anyway here is what pretty much happens that night. I get offered a job as a kitchen helper and a guest room.

This way it's baking 3 pies with 1 oven. Imma be able to train, imma be able to get my hands on the secret recipe and imma be able to not be homeless. Wait? Isn't stealing the secret recipe a job for an antagonist. One that would live in a chum bucket or something similar? Ah, whatever.

Today is the first night here. Obviously, I'm very tired after all that happened! I was called a pervert, I went shopping, I got my ass whooped, I got my ass whooped again, I ate some pie. Now that I think about it that kinda sounds like a usual day. Ok, I'm not that tired. But I somehow feel like I should be? Weird.

But there is one part of me that cannot stay still. The dreamer part, the one that wishes for more stimulation, that wants to experience life, that….ok I'll just say it. I'm thirsty as fuck. There. Simple. Concise. Clear.

It is normal for a healthy young man like me to have such an interest. After all, I'm …how old am I? I'm not sure. Doesn't matter.

Time to find the nearest tavern! Oh, wait. There is a more pressing issue. I call my subordinate. I tell him that this is an official sect meeting! First-order on the agenda is to secure some funds. Apparently, my rigorous professionalism was overkill. Oh well, the exemplary leaders tend to be misunderstood.

I can't just outright ask him to leech off him. I gotta come up with a better way to say it. This is my responsibility as a role model!

Oh well. He does give me some bronze coins. Apparently, I should have enough for a few drinks. Mi-ni-ma-ni-mo! I chose you random passerby A!

[Where is the nearest tavern!]

I get an answer.

I barge into the recommended well-lit building excitedly. There is a mug signboard. Still can't read shit but who cares.

I quickly order ale. Any kind. At this point, I just want to resolve this craving I have.

What can I say I have a drinking problem. The problem being that it's been too long since I last drank.

*Gulp*

This is the best!

As the cold beverage goes down my gullet a deep feeling of satisfaction fills my being.

[AHHHHHH *satisfied sound*]

More! I hand over all the coins I have to the tavern-keeper. I tell him to keep them coming!

A few moments later I'm broke again. I did enjoy it however.

A refined-looking middle-aged man approaches me. He is laughing.

"Friend, I've never seen anyone guzzle beer that fast. How long has it been since you last drank haha."

[Too long! Months!]

"Haha. You remind me of an old friend of mine. You seem to be lacking coin. How about it, want to share your story over a drink?"

This looks shady as fuck. Kinda like a white van and lollipop situation. Because of that, there is only one answer I can give.

[Sure!]

I mean. C'mon free beer.

If he's one of the bad guys I can always use divine energy to get me out of a pinch.

A long conversation ensues. I don't go into any detail, but I tell him about a few of the creatures I've seen in the forest. Apparently, in his younger years, he used to be a hunter himself. He's retired now. Something about having found an easier profession. He self-depreciatingly tells me how he's become lazy recently. Found an easier line of work.

The more we talk the more I realize how much I was missing some simple human interaction.

To be fair the beer helps. A ton! Remember it is my secret weapon for socializing.

Ah, this is fun.

****

It is morning. I'm in a bed I've never seen before.

Don't tell me I?! 0_0

Ok, no. This is the guest room bed. Not the bed of some sketchy dude as I first feared.

Looks like the stranger from yesterday didn't take advantage of me.

I guess it makes sense. After all, even if I am extremely handsome, somehow most people seem oblivious to my charms.

They are probably blind to true beauty. Oh well.

Let me try to remember last night.

I drank a bit. A lot. Ok a shit-ton. Whatever that guy from yesterday is doing as work he has coin alright! Then I rambled a lot about random stuff. So far so good.

Then I somehow dragged myself through the town until I met ….

Omg. It is coming back to me. I hooked up with someone last night!

Guess I was thirsty in more ways than one. Fuck does that mean I betrayed Luna?!

Actually, what is even our relationship? Was it a fling? Anything more serious?

Arggg I don't know.

Somehow, I can't seem to remember the appearance of that mystery lover of mine.

All I know is the blowing skills were unreal.

Oh my god, I will remember this all my life.

The comfort I felt. The warmth. The wetness. The titillating movements of the tongue. Ok you get it. It was amazing.

But why can't I remember the appearance?

I was shit-faced, but still. I can't let it end this way!

Time to reuse my secret technique! The one I used back in the god realm.

Circulate divine energy. Remember.

It is coming back now. Let me see. OMFG NOOOOOOO!

Beady eyes. Crooked nose. Acne. Foul breath. Yellow teeth. Blackish tongue.

I FUCKING HOOKED UP WITH A HOBBO!

GROSS

GROSS

FUCKING GROSS!!!!

Fuck me!

Arggg. Imma be sick.

Fuck me. The image is perfectly clear now.

Curse that ability of mine.

Last time I heard all that trash talk. This time I remembered this!

Fuck!

That dreamy memory just turned into a nightmare.

The most disgusting one.

I think there is a lesson to be learned here.

Maybe I should stop drinking? As if!

No, I figured it out!

I won't use the remembering ability from now on!

It is officially sealed from now on!

Ignorance is bliss!

I have attained wisdom.

**** (POV)

Little did he know that this decision of his would end up dooming the entire world.

"HAHAHAHA I the narrator can finally shine...wait what do you mean my part is over?!

What kind of bullshit writing is ....."

* Goes dark*