The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

I wake up in the morning hugging Wolfie. (っ╹◡╹)っ

Morning is just what I want to call it.

I have no fucking idea what time it is.

I did have a small emotional breakdown yesterday.

But now I'm fine.

Gotta remember the golden rules I set for myself.

I'm gonna head back there and fight.

I'm gonna remain happy knowing that I'm not alone here.

I'm gonna take control of my own fucking life.

Ah. I really feel better. (￣ω￣)

Let's think things through.

First, I need a clear goal.

Something I learned in life is that it helps to set small objectives.

One step at a time will let you succeed any endeavor.

Right now, I lack everything but time.

At first, I just wanted to leave as fast as possible.

But now I want to conquer this forest.

And I don't mean a literal conquest, but I want to be able to live here as I please.

I'll find the most unique monsters and find a way to deal with them.

The ants I ran away from? I'll go back to.

The mantis that kept beating me up? I'll get my revenge.

In the future anyway.

For now, let's just explore slowly.

As I exit the safe zone Wolfie follows me.

[It might be dangerous out there you know?]

A resolute gaze.

[You want to tag along even then?]

*Nod*

[If we encounter an enemy what do you do?]

*Bites an invisible enemy*

[Nope! You run!]

*Visible confusion*

[You are weak. Stay far in the back. If we encounter an enemy, you run!]

*Hesitant Nod*

[Alright. You need to stay alive no matter what understood?]

*Nod*

I guess this wolf is fearful I'll abandon it too.

[Here we go!]

Don't worry little one.

I'm gonna bring you with me.

This wolf is fast.

As long as we are careful it should be fine.

****

Day one.

I use the stick throwing technique. I try going into the opposite direction this time.

As usual I just evade the random fodder.

At some point there is a deer in front of me. Its movement are especially weird. No matter what I do it always end up being one step ahead of me.

Always in my path.

Almost as if it was protecting its territory.

Except it is simply eating grass. (•‿•)

It is about 5 m long. Probably a rank 3 judging by the size.

It has huge antlers. Probably how it deals with predators.

I doubt this one presents any danger to me.

As long as I don't try to hunt it anyway.

I'd rather eat some random rank 2 aggressive creature instead of this gentle one.

As I walk closer it lazily looks at me.

Not an ounce of wariness.

It is not scared of me at all.

Not even scared of Wolfie in the far back.

Well to be fair no need to be really.

But it is weird still.

I wonder if it will let me pet it?

*Ruffle*

Damn! Warm and soft to the touch.

[You are so cute! Yes, you are!]

It's looking at me with clear eyes. ◕ ‿ ◕

[You need to be careful I've seen many monsters that would just love to eat you up in this forest!]

It softly nudges me with its head.

[Here. Headpats are the best right?]

Its eyes are closed in bliss. Damn this day is already awesome. (◠‿◠)

Can I bring it home with me?

A wolf and a deer are a good start.

Gotta catch them all! All the cute pets!

It brings its mouth closer to lick my hand.

Damn it's so cute…. *COUGH* (⊙_⊙)

WTF IS THAT! （ ﾟДﾟ）

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT DEER

NOT A DEER! ABORT! FUCKING ABORT!

WTF IS WITH THAT MOUTH! 0_0

SHOULD I RUN?

CAN I EVEN RUN?

WAIT NO. DON T MOVE.

IT'S FRIENDLY.

NO RASH MOVEMENT.

EVERYTHING IS FINE.

*Deep Breath*

Everything is fine.

It could devour me in an instant, but everything is fine.

*Deep Breath*

A shark looks cuddlier but it's fine.

*Deep breath*

Omfg that scared me shitless. But everything is really fine.

It's just licking my hand.

Ah I stopped petting it for a moment.

It wants me to keep going.

Ouf. This ain't good for my heart.

Well whatever. (￣ー￣)

Okay so let me recapitulate.

When the "deer" opens his mouth, many rows of teeth great me.

Sharp ass teeth.

So many fucking teeth.

Way too many.

Give me a day to count and I'll still give up.

How is it possible for a mouth to fit that many teeth you ask?

Well …picture the Majini undeads from the mutated umbrella corps virus.

With a gaping mouth that opens to reveal tentacles.

A mouth that will likely bite your entire head of.

Except with more tentacles. Also, teeth everywhere.

I don't know what is the most ridiculous.

The existence of such a nightmarish creature.

Or the fact that it simply wants some headpats.

*Pet pet*

Damn. This world sure is strange.

For once the surprise is welcome.

This deer is fucking awesome! (≧◡≦)b

[Hey! How about this? Do you want to follow me home? There isn't much but it is peaceful. More importantly there are unlimited headpats included!]

It's following me eagerly! New pet acquired! ＼(^ o ^)／

As we walk back it suddenly stops in its tracks.

[What's up?]

It seems recalcitrant to go further.

[C'mon just a bit more. We'll be there soon. Don't worry there won't be any danger I swear on my soul or whatever!]

It seems to want to join but be unable to.

Ah! Maybe it has a family in here. Or maybe there is a reason it can't leave this area.

Such a shame.

Wolfie is even intensely glaring at it. I'm sure it wants a new friend too.

[You really can't come?]

*Nod*

[*Sigh*. Alright I understand. How about this, I'll come and visit you again. Would you like that?]

It's nodding so fast it almost seems like it wants to perforate the ground with its antlers.

[Haha. Alright! I'll see you soon! Take care!]

****

And thus, we go back to camp.

The rank 4 overwolf is still lurking around.

At the beginning I was a bit worried, but I figured it should be related to Wolfie somehow.

It is not friendly.

It is not hostile either.

If I had to describe it, I'd say it's a neutral NPC.

One that I sure don't want to anger at all.

It seems to be hoping for some free food.

That's when I realize I have a serious problem.

I can barbecue but I can't start a fire.

At all.

Yes, I try divine energy.

No, it's not working.

FUCK ME. -_-

AN UNEXPECTED CRISIS! ⊂(⊙д⊙)つ