LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 94
Crunch-
A heavy silence choked me.
Every movement I made was accompanied by the rattling of chains that pressed down on my heart.
How long had I been here in this place devoid of sunlight? Without a clock, I couldn’t tell.
In this void that felt like an eternity, all I did was bite my nails in gnawing loneliness.
“She said she’d come back… she said she’d come back…! She said she’d come back, come back…”
Liar.
Lilian, do you even deserve to be called a Saint?
You clearly said you would return, yet you leave me here, abandoned and starving?
“If this is how it’s going to be, just let me die…!”
The intense loneliness merged with a creeping hunger and thirst.
Since Lilian left, my body, having consumed nothing, was wrenched with pain that scraped at my insides with every moment.
Yet, still, I did not die.
It was this damnable power that resided here, healing my body and keeping me alive without nutrients or water.
However, it couldn’t heal my suffering, and the gnawing hunger in my stomach continuously tormented me.
But the true reason for my agony right now was not hunger or thirst.
“I’m lonely…”
A crushing loneliness.
The most fatal poison for me was always loneliness.
My mother in my previous life abused me daily, but at least she never left me alone.
That’s why I liked her. Even if every day felt like hell, I wasn’t alone.
But now, there was no one.
Not my mother, who I practically killed, nor the comforting voice of a friend who would soothe me in times like this.
In the end, all I could do was helplessly curl up and wait for Lilian to come and find me again.
How much longer had time passed this way?
In the moment of deep anxiety, biting my fingers,
Clunk—
With a loud sound, the tightly shut door began to slowly open.
And through the opened door, a bright pink gaze filled with brightness, completely different from the darkness here, smiled at me.
“How have you been, Tina?”
“L-Lilian…!”
I tried to run towards her, but the chains holding my feet prevented me, and I fell to the ground.
Lilian approached with a concerned look and helped me up.
“Be careful, Tina. You mustn’t get hurt.”
I hastily wrapped my arms around Lilian’s waist and nestled into her embrace.
Hearing the strong heartbeat of Lilian, the loneliness that troubled me began to gradually melt away.
“Hehe, you’re being quite cutesy, Tina.”
While I silently shifted in her arms, she smiled warmly and gently stroked my head.
As Lilian’s warm body temperature seeped into me, life began to return.
Once my senses gradually came back, I forcefully pushed Lilian away with both hands and glaringly looked at her.
“Why… why did you come so late…? You said you would definitely come back!”
“Um, do you remember what I said last time?”
“What…?”
“I said the next training would be about table manners, right?”
Lilian looked at me with her sparkling pink eyes and continued.
“But it seemed like you weren’t very hungry, Tina. I deliberately waited two days to enhance the training effect.”
I thought at least a week had passed, but it was only two days?
No, more importantly.
“You…! Are you trying to treat me like a beast or something?”
“I told you already, Tina. You are my pet. If you don’t accept that reality, it will be you who suffers.”
“This… damn bitch…”
“Hehe, your language is still so rough.”
Lilian stood up gracefully, her serene smile still intact.
For a moment, I felt a shiver of fear that she might leave me again, but fortunately, Lilian picked up the tray she had placed next to the door and approached me again.
“I hope you eat today.”
What lay on the tray was no different from before.
A steaming pot of soup and a clear glass filled with transparent water.
Although it was the same meal as before, my starving body was filled with an overwhelming craving for food.
“So, what do you think, Tina? Are you thinking of eating?”
“…”
A dry swallow went down my throat.
The divine energy kept my body intact, making me look fine on the outside, but the hunger and thirst were still gnawing at my mind.
I wanted nothing more than to devour the food right in front of me.
Yet I didn’t want to act as Lilian desired.
It was different from the days when I would lean on the other Young Ladies and sweet-talk them into feeding me treats.
Back then, I had a clear purpose—to leverage them. But now, I genuinely felt like I was being reduced to a pet.
Eventually, Lilian, gazing at me indecisively, looked at me with a pitying expression and stood up.
“…I guess it’s still too early. Then, I’ll come back another time, Tina.”
“Wait, wait a moment…”
I quickly grabbed Lilian’s ankle. Avoiding her puzzled gaze, I muttered softly.
“I’ll eat… just let me feed myself…”
“No. I have to feed you myself.”
The returned response was coldly firm.
“Why are you doing this when I’m saying I’ll eat by myself?!”
“It’s the rule for the owner to directly take care of the pet’s meals.”
Lilian’s gaze was unwaveringly resolute, leaving no room for negotiation.
It seemed she genuinely wanted to treat me like a pet.
In the end, I fell into yet another cycle of endless inner conflict.
What should I do…?
Should I follow Lilian’s will?
Yet if I did, it would be no different from submitting to her.
‘…No, it’s not submission.’
I whispered soothing words to myself inside.
The reason I sweet-talked the other Young Ladies like a lapdog was simply because there was something to gain from them.
Property, connections, power.
If someone lacked even one of these, I would have ignored them, not sparing them a single glance.
Lilian, too, was ultimately no different from the other Young Ladies.
Trapped in this frustrating and gloomy space, the only person I could rely on was Lilian.
This meant that the one I could extract the most value from was Lilian herself.
The key to escape from this gloomy place devoid of any light, including basic sustenance, depended solely on Lilian.
‘…Let’s think of her as a watering can.’
It wasn’t about submission.
Rather, Lilian was simply meant to be utilized by me.
Gradually building up trust while playing along with her desires, I would turn her into an easy target like the other Young Ladies.
And someday, when the day comes for me to escape this hell, I would then cut off Lilian’s breath.
Kill Lilian and head to hell.
Reaching this resolution, the chaos in my mind suddenly cleared up.
I suppressed my heart, which returned to a calm state, and looked at Lilian with an expectant face.
“…Alright. You can feed me.”
“Oh, that’s a wise choice, Tina.”
Lilian’s long eyelashes fluttered gracefully, and a beautiful smile decorated her face.
“There’s something we must do before the meal, right?”
She carefully set the tray down in front of her, knelt, and reached out her hand towards me.
“Here, Tina. Hand.”
“…”
“Tina?”
It’s not submission. Lilian is the one being utilized by me.
I kept reciting it inside to steady my mind. I forcefully placed my trembling hands on her palm.
“You did very well, Tina. I love you.”
“…”
“Thank you for listening to me. You are truly precious, Tina.”
Lilian smiled brightly, gently stroking my hair. Then, she once again extended her palm towards me and whispered.
“Now, Tina. Chin up.”
“…What?”
“Just raise your chin for me.”
“…”
Suppressing the rebellious urge rising from within, I silently lifted my chin onto her palm.
Then Lilian’s fingers caressed my chin softly.
“Ugh… Stop it…”
After teasing my chin for a while, she hugged me tightly with a bright smile.
“You did well, Tina.”
“….”
Lilian sat down on the floor with her legs crossed and patted her knees twice before opening her arms wide.
“Come, sit here, Tina. I’ll feed you.”
“…Do I have to sit there?”
“Yes.”
Nothing about this was to my liking.
But once again, I steeled myself internally, carefully sat between Lilian’s legs, and leaned into her embrace.
Lilian wrapped her arms around me in a warm hug. Her breath brushed against my ear as her low voice seeped into me.
“You suddenly became so obedient. Have you truly submitted? Or do you have another intention?”
“…I’m just… hungry.”
“Mm, is that so?”
Lilian gently stroked my head.
She held out the glass filled with water to me with one hand.
“I’m going to give you some water first. Here.”
I tilted my head slightly and parted my lips.
After days without a drop of water, my throat felt parched and dry.
My chapped, dry lips cracked, and the thirst turned into a sharper pain.
Finally, as Lilian tilted the glass, the clear droplets slowly met my lips.
As the cold, refreshing water spread inside my mouth and flowed down my throat, my thirst was temporarily quenched, and my tense body began to relax bit by bit.
But ironically, it was much too brief.
Just as my thirst had barely been quashed, Lilian quickly withdrew the glass.
With thirst still lingering, I unconsciously licked my tongue and grabbed her hand.
“Can you… give me a little more…? I’m thirsty…”
I wondered why.
Lilian’s pink eyes widened slightly.
She glanced at my tongue, dampened with droplets, cleared her throat a few times, and tilted the glass back towards me.
“…Here, drink up.”
Once again, the refreshing water cascaded down my throat.
With a gulp, my once-lifeless lips became damp again.
I wiped the droplets that spilled from my lips down to my chin and shyly turned my face away.
“…Thank you.”
“…”
I didn’t forget to express my gratitude to Lilian. I needed to gain her favor to utilize her goodwill somehow.
Lilian quietly watched me for a moment, then gently smiled as she offered another bowl.
“Would you like some soup?”
Now that my thirst was quenched, hunger peeked its head back up.
This time, a warm soup with a sweet aroma wafting from it captured my attention.
Nodding quietly, Lilian carefully reached out a spoonful of soup towards me.
Having been so hungry, I quickly opened my lips, not even thinking about the steam rising from the hot soup.
“Ugh!”
The warmth hit my tongue far hotter than I expected, making my mouth sting, and tears welled up in my eyes for a moment. I reflexively stuck my tongue out, trying to cool down the searing heat.
“Ha, ha… Ugh, it’s, it’s hot…”
“Are you alright, Tina? It must be because it was heated for too long. It’s probably still too hot.”
“Ugh… ugh…”
A faint groan escaped my lips.
I struggled to lessen the heat swirling in my mouth, unintentionally glaring at Lilian.
I wanted to curse her for bringing me such piping hot soup without letting it cool down, but the thought of needing to win her favor again stopped me in my tracks.
In the end, I couldn’t even get angry and instead lowered my gaze, speaking desperately.
“It’s hot… can you let it cool down… just a little before you give it to me…?”
With my tongue slightly out, I looked at her with pleading eyes.
“…”
However, once again, Lilian merely stared quietly at my tongue.
Deep within her gaze, she looked at me with a sunken look, slightly furrowed her brows, and averted her gaze.
“Ah, that was a pretty good attempt. But it doesn’t work on me.”
“…Huh? No way… It’s just too hot… I can’t take it in one go…”
“….”
“L-Lilian… if you cool it down… I’ll eat it well…”
Could she see the sincerity in my pathetic gaze?
Lilian bit her lip a few times, hesitated for a moment, and then nodded gently with a deep look in her eyes.
“…Alright, I’ll cool it down for you.”
“Ugh?!”
In that moment, Lilian’s hand gently but firmly gripped my chin and sharply turned my head to the side.
With my eyes widening in surprise, I met Lilian’s bright pink gaze directly in front of me.
And then—
“Ugh?!”
Lilian’s lips boldly entered between my parted lips.
I instinctively wanted to push her away, but Lilian’s arms and legs had already wrapped tightly around me.
“Ugh… ugh…!”
As I felt confusion and shock, soup slowly began to flow into my mouth through her lips.
Having already lost its heat from Lilian’s tongue, the soup was no longer as hot.
‘Is she, is she out of her mind…?!’
While I mentally unleashed a torrent of curses, Lilian threw me a burning gaze and softly spoke.
“Ha… Tina, don’t spill it. Just swallow it all.”
“Ugh…”
The warm, low voice of Lilian enveloped me.
I wanted to spit the soup out, but since she had completely sealed off my mouth, I ultimately had no choice but to swallow.
Gulp-