LIGHTNOVELONLINE Lilian looked at me with a radiant smile on her face.
“Come on, Tina. Please give it a try.”
On the spoon she held out was a warm soup steaming invitingly.
Lilian seemed to be waiting for me to open my mouth, but all I could do was glare at her coldly.
“…Remove it.”
“Aren’t you hungry? I put a lot of effort into cooking this.”
I was hungry.
My throat was parched, and my empty stomach was crying out for food.
Clank—
But I ruthlessly swatted the spoon away. As it fell to the floor, the scalding soup spilled helplessly onto the cold ground.
“I told you to remove it, Saint!”
I mocked the saint with a sly smile.
Just moments ago, I had timidly extended my hand like a dog out of fear of her aggression, but now, with the pain subsiding, a rebellious spirit stirred deep within me.
She had explicitly stated it. That she wouldn’t inflict the same lowly and ruthless violence on me as before.
With that in mind, there was no reason for me to obey Lilian’s words.
“Um… This is troublesome.”
Lilian glanced at me with a temporarily subdued gaze, then slowly extended one hand towards my face.
“Yikes.”
As her pale hand approached, my body instinctively shrank back, but it merely pushed my hair behind my ear and quietly withdrew.
“Don’t worry, Tina. I promised I wouldn’t hit you again.”
“….”
“If you don’t want to, alright. I can’t help that.”
Lilian placed the dropped spoon back on the tray and stood up.
“Alright then, we’ll start the first lesson with table manners.”
“…What did you just say?”
“Tina is my pet, after all. So I need to train you in the basics.”
“Who even said I’m your pet, Saint? You’re really a perv, aren’t you?”
“…”
Lilian’s pink-hued gaze sank deeply and focused on my lower abdomen.
In her eerily calm, cold stare, I felt instinctively tremble and took a step back.
“Ah, you said you wouldn’t hit me, right…?”
“…Of course.”
With a faint smile, Lilian got up from her seat.
“Nothing is more important than trust between a master and a pet.”
After leaving such an absurd remark, Lilian turned and opened the only door in the room. Just before stepping out, she seemed to remember something and looked back at me.
“Oh, and Tina. You won’t be able to talk to that friend of yours here.”
“…What?”
“This is my mansion. And this space was specially prepared for you after I returned to the Empire.”
Friend? Could it be that Lilian knows about the presence within me?
Now that I think about it, the voice I had continuously heard until now was absent. My mind, which was always filled with eerie laughter, was now completely silent.
“So, Tina, please wait quietly. If you listen well next time, I’ll heap praise upon you.”
“…Huh? Who would want praise from a perv like you?”
“Hehe, well then, I’m off.”
Lilian lightly dismissed my mocking words and stepped outside.
Soon, with a loud noise, the door closed, and deep silence enveloped me.
How much time passed as I sat blankly in the silence?
“Pfft.”
The laughter I had been holding back finally burst forth.
I laughed hard, clutching my stomach. In tune with my mood, the chains binding my ankles clanked loudly.
“Sorry, Saint.”
Lilian seemed genuinely intent on taming me.
I wondered if it was alright for a saint to harbor such gloomy desires, but that sticky gaze she wore while looking at me wasn’t inferior to Mardian’s obsession.
Of course, I had no intention of going along with Lilian’s wishes.
“You’re overlooking something.”
From the way she had only bound my legs and left me be, it seemed Lilian hadn’t noticed that I had no attachment to life.
My soul was already tainted black by the malicious heart that aimed to taint the pure hearts of young ladies and ripped apart the love of a mother.
My soul could never cross the threshold of heaven and would plunge into the depths of hell, never to escape.
Yet, that didn’t matter.
In hell, my real mother would be waiting for me. I could cross that threshold without hesitation.
Even if each day there was painful, if I bore that pain with my mother, it would be enough for me.
To me, the deadliest thing was not pain, but loneliness.
‘…It must hurt a lot, right?’
I wasn’t particularly good at enduring pain, but considering the comfort that would come after a short agony, it wasn’t such a bad choice.
I stuck out my tongue.
And without a moment of hesitation, I bit down hard on it.
Crack—
With a sound like something breaking, an excruciating stabbing pain pierced through my mouth.
“Ugh, extreme…!”
Tears welled up in my eyes at the unbearable, metallic pain.
But the pain gradually faded, and all I felt was the warmth of blood spreading gently.
I slowly closed my eyes and lay down on the floor.
Blood began to flow from my mouth like a river.
“Hehe, haha… Live tormented by guilt forever.”
A drastic choice made because I couldn’t endure being imprisoned.
To Lilian, it must have just looked like that.
You killed me, Lilian.
I hope to remain in your mind as an eternal guilt that never fades.
“Ugh, die, Lilian…”
As I mentally hurled mockery and curses, wishing to leave Lilian with eternal pain, that was when it happened.
The blood I spilled on the floor began to glow softly, and from that spot, a pure white stem shot up intensely.
“…Huh?”
As I blinked in confusion, a stem as thick as my wrist charged directly towards me.
The end was aimed straight at my mouth.
“Ugh, what?!”
The pure white stem forcibly invaded my mouth, and without stopping, it began to penetrate deep inside my body.
“Ugh?! Gah… ack, huff, agh…”
Down my throat, into my esophagus, deep inside. That unfamiliar stem unhesitatingly burrowed into me.
My body began to tremble with an overheating sensation that felt like it was about to burst.
The stem filling my mouth shone brightly for a moment, then scattered like particles of light and seeped into the ground.
“Heh… huff…”
I collapsed onto the ground on all fours, gasping for breath.
While my body was still hot from the heat left by that stem, strangely enough, it didn’t hurt.
In fact, I felt lighter.
Something was off.
“Uh… huh?”
I anxiously extended my tongue to check. There was no longer even a slight pain left on my tongue, which had been so vivid a moment ago.
It wasn’t just the pain. The stream of blood that had flowed continuously was nowhere to be seen.
“Could it be…?”
Had the lights from just now healed me?
As suspicion rose, a chill ran down my spine.
Without hesitation, I again extended my tongue and bit down with all my might.
“Huff…!”
A sharp pain once again stimulated the tip of my tongue with the metallic taste of blood spreading in my mouth.
This time I covered my mouth with both hands to prevent the red liquid from spilling onto the floor.
Yet still, the ground began to glow softly once more.
At that moment, the damned beam of light shot up from the floor and rushed toward me fiercely.
“I-I don’t want this… Stay away!”
I thrashed about, trying to escape the light, but there was nowhere to flee in this confined space.
Eventually, the flow of light approached my face.
I desperately tried to keep my mouth closed tightly, but the light seeped through the tiny gaps in my lips and filled my entire mouth.
“Ugh…! Gah…! Huff…!”
The rough and merciless light filled my mouth and once again healed the wound on my tongue, disappearing without leaving a trace.
“Tha-that’s impossible…”
My mind turned completely white.
Afterward, I tried every means to harm myself. But every time, the beam of light would unhesitatingly engulf me, healing any wounds instantly.
In the end, the more I attempted self-harm, the healthier my body became, and I was left only with the sensation of pain that felt like I was dying.
“If this continues…”
The last bit of freedom left in my mind vanished without a trace, replaced by anxiety and unease filling that empty spot.
[This is the place specially prepared for you.]
“I-can’t die…?”
Drenched in despair, my voice scattered weakly.
Lilian must have predicted that I would immediately attempt self-harm.
How deeply had she perceived me? And how did she know so much about me?
Now that I couldn’t grasp Lilian’s true intentions, her existence felt infinitely terrifying.
And upon feeling deep in my bones that I could never die, the suppressed fear began to erupt from within.
“I’m… hungry…”
I’m hungry.
I’m thirsty.
I’m cold.
And I’m lonely.
“I’m so lonely… Where are you? Come to me…”
Desperately calling out to an old friend, just as Lilian said, no answer came.
“Please… show yourself. I don’t want to be alone… I’ll give you anything you want. Please…”
Gradually, the realization that the presence that had always been by my side was unreachable overwhelmed me with profound helplessness and loneliness.
Clank—
In my anxiety, I bit down on my thumb.
“When Lilian comes back, I’ll talk to her one more time…”
She definitely said she would come back.
Even if Lilian had changed a lot, her true nature would surely still carry a benevolent color.
If I could leverage that well, there had to be a way.
If there were no other options, I would deeply apologize for my mistakes.
If I begged Lilian with sincerity, promising not to do anything bad again, she would surely let me go.
Of course, there was no way it would be genuine, but it was easy for me to infuse sincerity into it so it felt real.
“Let’s wait… If I wait, she will come soon…”
But no matter how long I waited.
Lilian didn’t come to find me.