LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 243
Chapter 243: The Calm Before the Storm
After finishing my meeting with the Hwang Sang, I stepped out of the Royal Chamber and started walking. I could have quickly returned to my lodgings using Gyeonggong, but I had no desire to do that.
After all, the Central South Sea was currently the safest place in the Central Plains.
Deliberately dulling my senses, I strolled through the Namdae area for the first time in a long while.
The scenery of the island in the middle of the lake was as beautiful as in my previous life.
The sparkling sunlight reflected off the gentle waves.
I stopped to gaze at the lake.
“Confession.”
The Hwang Sang’s confession.
What should I do about it? Honestly, if I had said something like, “When I grow up, I’m going to marry Noya!” back in the day, it could have been brushed off easily.
But it was a problem because it wasn’t that simple. The Hwang Sang had been gazing at me for over 80 years.
What would it feel like to have a one-sided love for 80 years? She even loved me back when I was goga.
By that point, it could be called genuine platonic love.
So, I wanted to respond to the Hwang Sang’s feelings properly. As a grown man, I had to take responsibility.
Logically, I thought that way, but my heart felt a bit tingly and restless.
My head was a mess. It had been 50 years since I began to think of the Hwang Sang like family. Saying I didn’t feel that way would be a lie.
But, unlike in my previous life, every time I saw the Hwang Sang in this life, my body reacted.
At first, I thought it was just a physiological reaction of a teenage boy in a male body. At the same time, I felt shame towards my body for reacting to the Hwang Sang.
No matter how much a young man might react to a woman, it felt off to react to the Hwang Sang.
So, I tried to convince myself that she was more like family.
But the truth was, the Hwang Sang who stirred me so much had been in love with me for a long time.
Did that mean I didn’t need to hold back anymore?
A strange feeling of guilt washed over me.
But I still needed more time to prepare my heart for accepting the Hwang Sang. I needed time. The pleasure of guilty feelings wasn’t bad, but I was not a Colorful Horse, but rather an Ultimate Master of Color Spectrum. I needed time to properly face the Hwang Sang’s true feelings, not just fleeting emotions.
‘This is tough.’
More than realizing my circumstances, understanding the Hwang Sang’s heart was even harder.
While I thought that, I continued to walk along the lakeside. Just then.
Suddenly, a white face appeared in front of me.
“Saje!”
It was Sahyeong.
Unlike her usual handsome boy attire, Sahyeong appeared before me dressed as a beautiful woman.
I could feel the gentle fragrance of wildflowers.
“Sahyeong.”
Right.
Sahyeong must have been summoned by the Hwang Sang early on; I had almost forgotten because the confession was so shocking.
Sahyeong smiled at me. Her black hair, as fine as ebony, danced in the lake breeze.
Swish.
She approached me and pulled me into an embrace.
“I missed you.”
Sahyeong said with a slightly trembling voice. I softly stroked her hair and thought.
The Hwang Sang had disclosed her reincarnation to Sahyeong.
What kind of response did she give?
I was curious. But asking felt a bit rude.
“I missed you too.”
I whispered in Sahyeong’s ear as she held me.
Seeing Sahyeong calmed my previously anxious heart a bit.
“I’m glad to hear you wanted to see me too, Saje.”
Sahyeong beamed at me.
If the Hwang Sang was someone I had spent the most time with in my past life, then Sahyeong was the one I had spent the most time with in this life.
Geomseong Yujinhwi.
Unlike in my previous life, where I had no real connection with her, she had become my Sahyeong in this life. Though it was somewhat intentional, I never expected her to be a woman or to come this close to me.
The subtle fragrance of wildflowers lingered at the tip of my nose.
“Saje. Are you feeling better now?”
Yujinhwi asked me in a tender voice.
I looked into her eyes.
Sahyeong, whom I had met again in the Hwanggung, looked different than before.
The previous Sahyeong had seemed like a ticking time bomb about to burst, but now she appeared calm and collected.
Though unsettled inside, she was pretending to be okay on the outside, and that made me anxious.
Honestly, I was slightly worried. But this was not the Sahyeong of before. There was a sparkle of life in her eyes again—just like in her innocent childhood.
“I’m also relieved that you’re feeling good,” I replied.
Sahyeong pulled back slightly from my embrace, pouting before breaking into a smile.
“Me? Mhm… Yeah. The Hwang Sang did help awaken me. I’ve received grace as vast as the sea.”
A bittersweet smile hung on Sahyeong’s lips.
“Did something happen with the Hwang Sang?”
“Well…”
Sahyeong’s eyes dimmed a bit. She took my hand.
“Saje. You’ve heard about this, right? The Hwang Sang must have told you everything—the fact that she’s from the future.”
“Ah, yes.”
I nodded at Sahyeong’s words.
“I see… So what do you think about the Hwang Sang?”
“That is…”
I slightly hesitated at Sahyeong’s question. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity.
“…I’m still confused, so I don’t really know what to say.”
I honestly admitted. My feelings weren’t entirely settled yet, but I hadn’t reached the point of expressing my thoughts aloud.
At least not right now. The sudden confession was a shock.
“So that’s why your face didn’t look well… It was because of the story about the future. Well, I felt the same when I first heard it… I couldn’t believe it…”
Sahyeong stuttered, trying to articulate.
Through her words, I confirmed that the Hwang Sang hadn’t disclosed my reincarnation to her.
I had trusted her from the beginning, but it suddenly struck me that the Hwang Sang had been considerate of me.
I looked straight at Sahyeong.
When she spoke about the future, her expression had appeared confused. She must have been overwhelmed by the knowledge of a future she didn’t know.
If I told her that I had reincarnated as well, it could risk upsetting the Sahyeong, who had just regained her composure.
‘It’s best to reveal everything only after we’ve dealt with the Hyulma.’
The final showdown with the Hyulma was right around the corner.
Of course, while I said it was just around the corner, it would realistically take at least six months to gather an army and prepare supplies due to the limitations of the medieval Ming Dynasty administrative system in this world.
In this era, that amount of time felt like tomorrow.
After the battle with the Hyulma, who was supposedly at Baekdusan, I planned to reveal everything to them.
That I came from the future.
Until then, there was no need to unnecessarily divulge that information.
Just as I was thinking that…
Hug!
She pulled me in tightly. Something soft and squishy touched my face—it was her chest. Sahyeong’s size was more than enough to be called “well-endowed.” It was prominent even over her oversized outfit.
Being embraced by Sahyeong, the fragrance of wildflowers wafted up so strongly it was almost overwhelming.
Swish.
She patted my head.
“You must have been very confused, Saje. It’s okay; everything will be fine. I’ll be here. I’m your Sahyeong… the one who has been by your side the longest… So don’t worry.”
The breathtakingly beautiful Sahyeong smiled lovingly and stroked my hair.
“You can lean on me anytime. I’m your older sister, so you can depend on me like family…”
As she embraced me, Sahyeong whispered in my ear.
My heart felt a little tingly.
This wasn’t… merely an emotional crush as a man. It was something more fundamental. Perhaps this is how a mother’s embrace felt, though I don’t remember mine.
Maternal Love.
Yes, I felt maternal love from Sahyeong right now.
“I can embrace all of you… every part of you. So it’s alright to let me know anything. Just vent it all out. I’m your Sahyeong.”
Sahyeong smiled.
In truth, there were many older women around me.
Yeomwang Jeoksawol, Geumhu Eun Seol-ran, Goeui Dang Yeong-ryeong, Sosumahu Baek Rijiak and the like.
All of them were at least ten years older than me. Yet, I never felt maternal love from them.
The 65-year-old Jeoksawol gave off a proud, celebrity-like vibe, the 53-year-old Dang Yeong-ryeong was a careless quack who I didn’t even want to think about, the 51-year-old Eun Seol-ran felt more like a girl than a mother, and the 110-year-old Baek Rijiak still called me “Dad”.
And right before me, Sahyeong was, honestly, not much older than me.
While her physical age was one year older, mentally she felt younger and naive.
Even when I had felt resentment towards her, I always thought of her more like a younger sibling and never like an older person.
But for the first time today, I felt an aura of maturity from Sahyeong. No, not just maturity, I saw traces of motherhood.
‘To be cared for by someone. Me?’
Thinking back, I realized I had always been the one watching over others.
The Hwang Sang too. She was my sister and disciple, never a mother or elder. Same for Jeoksawol, Eun Seol-ran, Dang Yeong-ryeong, Baek Rijiak.
And don’t even get me started on Seoharin, Seomun Cheong-ha, Wi Soryeon, Cheon Sobin, Baek Cheon-hwa, who hadn’t even gotten over the Post-Stimulation Indicator yet.
Even Jeonyeong, the leader of the Gongdong Sect and my Saje, felt like someone I needed to watch over.
I thought that Sahyeong was naturally someone I needed to take care of. I intended to support her as she would become the Geomseong alongside being the Ultimate Master of Heavenly Body.
Yes, that’s how it was supposed to be.
So why am I the one getting pampered right now?
“You don’t have to shoulder everything alone, Saje. I’m here.”
Sahyeong whispered in my ear.
With that, my confusion melted away like snow.
My body trembled.
Having lived for over 60 years, I had never met an adult who cared for me. I was an orphan on modern Earth, and the first adult I met in the Martial World sold me as a goga to the Hwanggung.
The Hwang Sang was someone I took care of, and everyone else was an enemy.
According to Sahyeong, I had always lived while shouldering something.
Except for the Hwang Sang, I trusted no one. So, I couldn’t share the burdens I carried.
I thought it was only natural to stand alone. But in reality, it wasn’t normal.
I too… longed to lean on someone. I wished for someone… to care for me like a parent. I wanted someone to love me like a mother.
The feelings I had held back flooded over me. Tears welled up in my eyes. My vision blurred. I cried in Sahyeong’s embrace.
“It’s okay to cry, Saje. I’ll protect you.”
As I listened to Sahyeong’s words, I wept for a long time.
It was as if I were emptying all the emotions I had bottled up.
*
After some time had passed since Lee Cheol-soo arrived in Beijing.
Those who received Juga-yul’s imperial decree began to gather one after another at the Central South Sea in Beijing.
And today.
Juga-yul finally received the last report.
“The Cheonma and So Cheonma have arrived in Namdae.”
Cheonma.
With him being the furthest from Beijing, the ones called by Juga-yul had finally gathered at the Central South Sea.
Upon hearing this, Juga-yul closed his eyes.
Finally.
With Baek Cheon-hwa the last to arrive, all the audacious women linked to Noya had gathered.
Juga-yul suddenly opened his eyes wide.
“Summon all the women listed in the prepared roster before me.”
“As you command, Your Majesty.”
As he watched the eunuch retreating quickly, Juga-yul’s gaze lost focus.
A chilling smile graced her lips.
It was time to declare it all before everyone.
To engrave the truth of who Noya’s true consort really was.
Juga-yul thought as he rose from his seat.
The time for declaration had arrived.