The Red Hand

"Well, I didn't have delinquent Primordials swearing fealty to me as their Boss on my bingo card, but I did have convenient plot point not panning out." Akagi groaned. "And of course... that was the one I hit..." She'd been hoping that things could be wrapped up quickly, at least, without blowing up the entire world.

{My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined...} (Akagi)

"Welp, I guess this means that I might as well give up on these two." Akagi held out her hand and channeled a dark ball of energy into her palm, which she pointed at the Primordials as it crackled with black lightning. "No useful information, no living. I'm afraid thems' the breaks, kids." She said with a monotone voice.

"EH?!?" Zo and Ro squeaked. "Wait! No! Please don't kill us, Boss!"

"Unless you've got information on how to get into the Heavens without this world detonating in the process, then I'm afraid that this is the end." Akagi said as she charged up more energy. It was hard to tell if the Demon was serious, but Halifax certainly thought she'd follow though with her threat.

"Ummmm..." Zo wracked her brain but couldn't think of anything.

{FUCK I DON'T KNOW!} (Zo)

“I'll give you five seconds to figure something out.... Five...” Akagi started counting.

"Wait! I might have an idea!" Ro yelled out, prompting Akagi to pause their impending doom, at least for now. "You said that you need some kind of information relating to how to enter the Heavens, right?"

"That is what I said, yes." Akagi motioned for him to continue. "But I'd advise you to think very carefully about your next words, since if I see you trying to stall, then I'm going to just end you both right then and there." She sighed.

{I suppose nuking this bitch from orbit might really be the only way to deal with things, boring...} (Akagi)

{Oh stop being so dramatic. Besides, what would Kana say if you told her you wiped out an entire world just because you were getting frustrated?} (Yumi)

{What Kana doesn't know doesn't interfere with my snuggles.} (Akagi)

"It's a long shot, but if you could track down somebody who's been to the Heavens then it should be possible to get that information." Ro said, sweat pouring down his face. “T-That should work!”

"Four... Having been there isn't enough." Akagi replied, starting the countdown again. "If it was, then Elariel here would've sufficed, and the Gods would already be toast. Try again, you've got a few more tries at least, so give it your best shot." She said as she channeled more energy into the palm of her hand.

"No, wait! I mean people who've traveled there under their own power!" Ro clarified. “Somebody like that would be able to get you what you need!”

"I've already considered that option, but you see, the problem is that I can't find anyone like that. It's why I came to you two, but that was a waste of time." Akagi replied curtly. "So unless you've got the address of somebody who can help me, then it's adios amigos. Three..."

"Can't we just get their Dad to do it?" Amakusa spoke up, feeling slightly sorry but not really for the two Primordials. “I'm sure someone of that level would be able to get this over in a snap.”

"Kal'ispi should have no problem getting into the Heavens." Elariel nodded. "I've fought him there before, so he'd be more than able of getting the coordinates."

"Alright, so where's dear old dad?" Akagi asked as she looked between the twins.

"We... Don't know..." Zo said nervously.

“Yeah... Its kinda like that thing in movies he went out for milk one day and never came home...” Ro said, referencing something that he'd seen in Hitomi's memories.

"Well, that's strike two for your big ideas. Two" Akagi rolled her eyes while trying not to laugh at his comment. "You've got one more chance to impress me. Otherwise, it's bye-bye." Ordinarily, Akagi would've jump at the chance to place these two under her control, but given that they were somewhat unreliable entities, she figured that eliminating them would be best so as to eliminate the threat of betrayal later. It was obvious to the Demon that these two were far more powerful than any of her people, and unlike Elariel, she couldn't be sure of their motivations. Nor could she be assured that, even with their powers sealed like the Goddess, that they would they be compliant.

"You two really don't know where your father is?" Elariel was surprised. "I would've figured that as Kal'ispi's children, you'd be able to find him easily." She figured that they could sense him due to their status as his children since the Gods could.

"We only ever met Dad once." Zo explained. "And that was thousands of years ago. We've not seen a peep out of him or other Primordials for that matter."

“He mentioned that we'd probably never see any of the others, since they were all asleep.” Ro said.

{Then why do you two care so much about them?!? What reason could you have for seeking revenge against us if your own people didn't bother to take care of you?!?} (Elariel)

"The what about your mother? Surely you know where she is?" Halifax interjected. "She'd also be a Primordial, so she could probably help. It doesn't have to be Kal'ispi. Any Primordial that fought in the war would suffice."

"True..." Elariel hummed in thought. "Actually, now that I think about it I don't know who your mother is. Not to mention that I never imagined that Kal'ispi would even have children." Primordials were like Gods in that they had strange views on love and relationships, but they could and did have children from time to time, though Primordial children were infinitely rare than the children of Gods.

"Our mother... She's... She's no longer with us..." Zo said, darkness falling over her face.

{OF FUCKING COURSE! DID SHE HAVE THE FUCKING ANIME MOM HAIR?!? I SWEAR TO CHRIST IF SHE FUCKING DID!} (Akagi)

"Mom.... Mom was not a Primordial." Ro continued, his words causing Elariel's eyes to widen in suprise.

"That can't be possible!" The Goddess exclaimed in disbelief. "I can sense enormous power within you two! There's no way for you to be half Primordials and have that much power! Demi-Gods don't even have half of our power, and the mortal children of Primordials are no different!"

{I've met plenty, and they're no different from our own offspring! You both HAVE to be full blooded Primordials or at least get most of your essence from them!} (Elariel)

"I don't know the exact details, but Mom wasn't a normal Human either." Ro shrugged. "She was something more. I think she was actually some kind of Demi-God, but I'm not entirely sure about that."

“Yeah, Mom never aged so she was definitely not Human.” Zo agreed. “Though she never did tell us what she was.”

“She always just told us not to ask about that.” Ro nodded.

"A Demi-God?" Elariel raised an eyebrow. "I find it very hard to imagine that Kal'ispi would've had children with one of ours. Besides, such a thing would still not explain your incredible power! Demi-Gods are usually not even a quarter as strong as we are so their children, even with a being like a God or Primordial couldn't possible be as strong as either of you! What was your mother's name? What did she look like? If she was truly one of our children, then I'd know her." She as adamant about figuring out what was going on.

"Mom's name? Her name was Elmira, and she had long blonde hair that she wore in twin tails." As Zo explained what their mother looked like, Elariel's eyes bugged out. "She was always so kind to everyone, and her beauty was unrivaled. Her eyes were of a blue so deep that people compared them to the purest Saffires and she had the nicest smile." She smiled as she recalled their mother.

"Too bad that we inherited Dad's eyes, but our hair definitely comes from Mom." Ro laughed.

“Hey, I'd say we won out there!” Zo snickered. “I love the red eyes.”

"Why does that name sound familiar?" Halifax furrowed her brow as she dug through her memories. "Wait... Wait, Elmira? Elmira... Wait... Isn't that?!?" She closed her eyes and thought hard. "YEAH IT IS! NO FUCKING WAY!" She yelled and burst out laughing." OH. MY. FUCKING. GODDESS! HAHAHAHAHA!"

{NO FUCKING WAY!} (Halifax)

"I'm lost." Amakusa looked at Kanato, who shrugged.

"I'm just done with everything at this point, so..." He sighed.

{Me too buddy, me too...} (Amakusa)

"Care to share with the class? Who is their mother, and why is it so funny?" Akagi didn't appreciate being left out of the joke.

"Why don't you ask Grandma here!" Halifax doubled over in laughter as Elariel stood frozen in place.

"Wait, what?!?" (Ro x Zo)

{Oh?} (Akagi)

"Oh, man! When Elmy said she was going to run away with some guy that she met, I never thought it was to be with a fucking Primordial!" Halifax started wheezing as she fell to the ground, barely able to breathe. "I can't... I fucking can't..."

{Elmy, you were always the greatest older sister ever, and I love you even more for fucking Elariel over even in death!} (Halifax)

"Oh? This sounds juicy." Akagi's eyes lit up as she canceled her destructive energy, much to the Primordial's relief.

{DRAMA!} (Akagi)

{Kitty and her drama...} (Yumi)

"No... No... No... No..." Elariel shook her head rapidly in useless disbelief. "This has to be a joke..." She started laughing like a madwoman. "Elmira would never..."

{If... Even I have standards... So there's no way that she'd...} (Elariel)

"Oh, she would, and it looks like she did." Halifax said between wheezes. "It's no wonder that these two were out for blood! I'd bet that was her doing!"

{She probably fucking fed them all kinds of fun stories about grammy!} (Halifax)

"I'm going to presume that this Elmira was one of your children?" Akagi asked, her words snapping Elariel out of her stupor.

"She... She was one of my problem children..." Elariel answered slowly. “Emphasis on PROBLEM CHILD!”

"Yeah! Elmy was great!" Halifax continued to laugh hysterically on the ground. "She always fucked with you, and she basically just did the opposite of what you told her! I've missed her craziness but I'm glad to see she can still mess with you all these years later!"

"I was only ever trying to help her!" Elariel grumbled. "But that stupid girl! Grrrrr." She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "To think that she would go and do something as stupid as..." Her eyes snapped to the two Primordials.

"Wait, so does that mean..." Zo looked at Ro, hoping that what she was thinking wasn't reality.

"I... I think it does..." Ro gave a wry smile.

"Yes... I'm... I'm your Grandmother..." Elariel was practically dying on the inside as she said those words.

{Elmira, if you weren't dead already I'd kill you myself for this!} (Elariel)

"NO!!!!!!!!!" Ro and Zo screamed in protest. "ITS NOT FAIR! I DON'T WANT YOU AS OUR GRANDMOTHER!"

"WELL, I DON'T APPRECIATE THAT YOU TWO IDIOTS AS MY GRANDCHILDREN, SO WE'RE BOTH UNHAPPY WITH THIS ARRANGEMENT!" Elariel steamed.

"Why must it be her?!?" Zo said, defeated. "Her blood... Her slutty blood... AHHH!" She screamed. “AHHHHHHHHHH!”

{I'M UNCLEAN! I'VE BEEN SOILED!} (Zo)

"Perhaps death isn't so bad after all..." Ro's eyes glazed over.

{On the one hand, we didn't get what I came here for, but on the other hand, this is infinitely better. My happiness is infinite, and my day is saved.} (Akagi)

{You love drama FAR too much...} (Yumi)

(As if you're one to talk, Ms. Gossip Girl. I know what kinds of things you talk about with the girls and the other members of the family.} (Akagi)

{THIS AND THAT ARE NOT THE SAME!} (Yumi)

{SUUUUUUUUUURE it isn't. You just keep telling yourself that.} (Akagi)