Chapter 5: +Knighty Knight+
I did my damnedest to touch myself even a little bit out of spite, but it turns out after like 6-8 hours of being crushed by gravity and trying to resist it, you get physically exhausted.
Sleep is beautiful. Sleep is bliss. Away from this psychopath gravity mage heroine and into a world of socializing. The moment I wake, I hop up and tuck my parts that were dangling away. Change your dress? I refuse! Waste of time!
I quickly barrel out of my former week-long NEET habitat, nearly bowling over the maid bringing me breakfast.
Okay, even though there's no time to change, there is time for breakfast. I take it from her frozen hands, her eyes glazed over with fear like they'd just seen a ghost.
I thought about saying something nice so I could make a conversation partner, but you're not supposed to talk with your mouth full. With that thought, I gobble down a light soup with vegetables and meat, ignoring the poor woman scared out of her wits.
Upon finishing my meal, I wonder, will all humans be timid like this maid? Maybe I should experiment. "Hello!" I give with a stare, which unfortunately causes her to yelp and run away. Perhaps she's just afraid of my beauty, which is a given as I am a specimen of perfection.
My morning self horn-tooting accomplished, I wander down the way too long halls once again.
Actually, what do I look like right now? I don't have a mirror in my room, I can't even entertain myself by looking in it. I do stare into the window sometimes when my reflection appears, but that's not enough!
I halt my steps, a deep thoughtful look passing across my expression while I think. Maybe my hair is all over the place, though it certainly doesn't feel like it... I do shower every day, so even if the heroine had written something on my face, it's gotta be gone now, right?
Though I didn't shower last night or this morning, did I?
Okay, maybe I'm just a BIT too excited for socializing. Of course the maid would be scared of me when someone who hadn't showered in a day suddenly burst out of their room saying 'Hello!'
I head back, though I realize the heroine has also been watching me shower too, now... Good, I'd watch me too! However, I'm not happy that she was probably looking with those lecherous eyes of hers.
One shower later, I'm back on the move! Did you wanna watch me? Too bad, socializing!
I make my way to the main hall with a new pep in my step, twisting and turning throughout the long passages, counting doors to alleviate boredom in the meantime.
After several dozen minutes of walking, I hate to say this but...
I think I know why my slaves insisted on guiding me through my castle. I look around, having absolutely no idea where I was, the only salvation being an occasional window for me to peek out of to try and guide myself.
Was it pure luck I ended up in the entry hall before? There's no way, it's gotta be my wonderful sense of direction that lead me there. If I just keep walking it'll work out in time.
And it did!
Out of one of the windows I have discovered people! I'm not lost anymore, not that I was ever lost in the first place.
Socializing, my beloved, I'm coming! With a fat middle-finger to the heroine and decorum, I open the window and jump right out.
I come to a stop before they notice my presence, thinking to myself about what I'm going to say.
...
Am I the one with the social problems? I can't think of a lick of a thing to say, but that's probably just because they're humans. Right, I don't have the problems, it's their fault.
Once I've confirmed my superiority again, I trot towards the noticing troops and maids who appeared to be disembarking from a long trip. Strangely though with an amount of supplies indicating they had recently left.
A couple of the common folk scream in appreciation to my beauty as I approach one of the-
OW! I'm interrupted by a yank on my hair, tumbling backwards behind the culprit of obscene strength. It's the heroine, obviously. I glare at her for interrupting my socializing but I can't lose my temper here, lest my image be ruined.
Standing up, I give the heroine a look saying "what the fuck" as she apologizes to the people who were basking in my presence. 'Don't be afraid?' What nonsense is that, are these pathetic beings actually afraid of me? That's impossible, beauty trumps fear.
Though now that I look about it, a lot of them are crying, and I know what people crying from my glory looks like. My lips purse as I consider the situation... Immediately coming up with the perfect solution.
I'll just charm them all and-
My all too hasty and thoughtful reverie is broken up by the heroine's forehead being brought to mine. We are about the same height, despite me being fairly ta-
I tried to ignore it, I really did. She kissed me, full tongue. I begin to writhe in a mix of pleasure and displeasure, and as someone who has always enjoyed kissing, kissing her is the problem. Our tongues clash as I briefly put up a fight, trying to show some sort of defiance, before realizing that isn't how that works.
I break away from the kiss with an attempt at a glare to the heroine, but she immediately turns back around to speak. "See? She didn't do anything, she's a good girl. She just needs a bit of training."
My mouth hangs open in astonishment, opening even wider as that somehow managed to convince a veritable horde of fearful beings to calm down.
Apart of me wants to just kill them all right now, I think they might be too stupid to live in this world. In what universe does forcing someone into a kiss mean they're obedient? Also, why were you people scared in the first place!
(I promise my self-awareness gets better in the future...)
Wait, an army of folk that can be easily charmed, one heroine, me... By the Demon God, I can win this fight! I immediately ready a charm before being thrown into the ground once again, this time face down, hardly able to breathe.
Thankfully I don't need to breathe, but I do unfortunately need to see my targets to charm them... Did I mention how sick I am of this heroine's gravity magic? Also, how did she even know?! Is she a mind-reader?
I fume helplessly on the ground, sending silent curses at the heroine in every language I know, which for a Demon General of Lust is a LOT. I hear her speak above me in that sickening voice of hers that definitely isn't attractive at all!
"Don't worry, she's just tired from all the training I've been giving her, it really tuckers her out." I hear murmurs of agreement after she says this, don't tell me these assholes are seriously believing her? What, do they worship her or something?!
+Spoilers, yes they do.+
I suddenly get dragged up, facing away from the enemy with an intensely firm and inescapable grip on my body. No points for guessing that it's the heroine.
I feel a chill as she whispers into my ear. "You swore off your armies, remember? If you try that even one more time, you'll be my sex toy instead of my pet, and trust me, those two are very different."
I'm definitely not intimidated, but I feel a sudden urge to not charm this group anymore. Is this psycho omniscient? Is her magic not actually gravity magic? I'm normally fairly discreet and not easy to read, yet this girl reads me like a book!
(I have... no words.)
With that absolutely true thought out of the way, I groan something like an agreement in her tight grip. I find myself thankful that she's merciful this time and that I'll still get to talk to people. Is it shameful to be thankful to your psycho captor? I say it isn't, so it isn't.
I let out a relieved sigh with her release, I turn to try and find someone to chat up, but my hand is quickly stolen by the heroine. "I told you I would be introducing you to someone, not that you'd get to chat up anyone and everyone." Seriously, is she a mind reader?
I'm dragged along, in acceptance of my fate for now. Communication with someone other than the heroine is my priority, even if it is someone she introduces me to.
I'm lead to a tomboy-ish knight with short red hair, her yellow eyes gleaming with mischief while she talks with another of her rank. I struggle to see much of her body form under her armor, but her face is pretty, cute? Handsome? Bit of both.
The person the redhead is talking to doesn't seem to be interested in the conversation nearly as much as she is interested in addressing the elephant in the room, the person in question shooting a deep disparaging glance at me.
Her armor appears to have already been removed, leaving her in a slightly scratchy looking cotton under armor. The knight's build is fairly stocky with b-cup breasts, but contrary to her bulky appearance, her face is actually fairly adorable, with hair equally short to the red head coming down in dirty blonde locks.
Okay, hold up. Is she really bringing me to one of the only people who seems to be actively glaring at me? Nah, no way, she's probably introducing me to the red head.
The me from 10 seconds ago, please punch yourself for jinxing it. The redhead noticed us and proceeded to quickly skedaddle with a word from the big blondie. Please follow her, please follow her.
After a few moments of walking...
"Hello!" I muster with all my friendly might to the dirty, in both senses of the word, blondie who has just crushed all my hopes and dreams.
The heroine leans forward to whisper into the woman's ear, earning a response shortly thereafter, "Lady Heroine, although I have promised not to directly express my grievances, I cannot help my expression when looking at a direct enemy of our country."
(You know, I never thought about it, isn't the title 'Lady Heroine' kinda redundant?)
+Don't hate the player, hate the game.+
"She is no longer an enemy, however, she is mine. I hope you will come to understand this in the future at the very least, Captain." The heroine responds with a gentle tone, this one seeming in earnest rather than all the fake gentle words she gives me.
Is she and the now labeled 'Captain' friends? Certainly feels like it, ugh... Beggars can't be choosers, not even extraordinarily and unnaturally attractive ones.
"Yep, I'm all goodie goodie now! The heroine is my..." I pause, gritting my teeth in annoyance, but at least it would leave a better impression at least.
"Owner." "Best friend."
I stare at the heroine who had spoken just before I did. I can feel my brow furrowing with rage, but I can't help that, so I just try to maintain my smile even with my brow looking like a taut bow.
"Best friend." I firmly state again, trying to overwrite the heroine's claim of ownership. The heroine seems satisfied with this, and I can't help but feel like I've been tricked.
+It still amuses me that you fell for that.+
(Can't you just ask someone to be a friend like a normal person?)
+Sure I can, just not you. You were WAY out of my league then, so guerilla warfare was a must. I can't help but pity my past self for being best-friend-zoned, however.+
(The friend-zone doesn't even exist, you can't just make up a best-friend-zone too.)
+Yes I can, 30 spanks.+
Author's Note:
I want to feel bad for past Ilvia cause she feels so clumsy, but even though she is a bit ditzy she is still very amoral. Perks? of being a Demon.
Went over this chapter like 5 times to change the pacing and revise certain things, hopefully it's acceptable. :)