The Princess's Feathers

An uneasy silence stretches across the clearing as Relmoon curls his talons, awaiting Kuro’s response. But she remains silent, standing with her muscles bunched, a feather’s edge away from leaping into battle. Doubtlessly, the only thing preventing her from tearing out Relmoon’s throat is the other Dragons that appear to be on his side. Though their faces are unrecognizable, their feathers are worn and tattered, groomed to be just barely presentable. If I had to guess, they’re Loners as well.

“What’s the matter?” A drakon with a gruff voice growls from behind us. “Too scared to speak?”

Sensing that Kuro is unwilling to respond, I speak for her in the driest voice I can muster. “We were exploring. Farlanders built this den, and it holds clues—“

“What nonsense,” Relmoon dismisses me off with a flick of his wing. “There’s no need for the deception, Princess Asha Eloise Lordanou. As soon as the opportunity presented itself, you and Kuro flew from the flock’s territory in search of me. You believed I was weak, an easy prey-kill to satisfy your restless hatred.”

Kuro raises her voice, “You’re the one who tried to kill her!”

“So?” Relmoon smirks.

“GET TO THE POINT!” Kuro slams her tail against the ground. “Why is Moth here?! What are you doing with these Exiles?”

“And how did you find us?” I quickly add.

“It was simple,” Moth says, puffing his chest. “The flock still believes I’m loyal, so I followed you from the Grandfather Tree. All I had to do was stay downwind and track your scents.”

“And when he heard someone laughing like a featherbrain from overhead,” Relmoon pauses to narrow his gaze towards me. “He knew precisely where you were. It didn’t take long for Moth to alert me and the rest of us disgraced by the elders.”

Are you serious?! They found us because I was laughing so hard outside the building? What kind of a reason is that?!

“Awhhh,” Relmoon’s mouth curls into an exaggerated frown. “Don’t look so glum, Asha. As you take your dying breaths, you’ll witness the birth of a new flock.”

“A new flock?” Kuro’s ears perk. “Relmoon, what are you blathering about?”

“The flame of the Snowfell Flock will soon be extinguished,” Relmoon portends, lowering his head. “For too long, the flock has been marred by the ignorant judgment of aging, dawdling elders. They are weak, incapable of making the decisions that please Keuvra.”

Is Relmoon… being serious? He believes he can oppose the entire Snowfell Flock? Him and these four Dragons? But more importantly, “Keuvra is the flock’s leader,” I remind. “You speak of sedition; to oppose the flock is to oppose the deity himself.”

“Keuvra has abandoned the flock,” Relmoon hisses. He begins to circle me and Kuro just outside the range of our claws. “You of all creatures should understand that, Farlander. You were the catalyst — the spark that caused Keuvra to turn his tail to the flock. Now he lies in White Mountain, awaiting the Dragon brave enough to take your life.”

Here he goes again with this nonsense! Back when we subdued Relmoon on Couple’s Night, he claimed Keuvra was ‘testing’ the flock, and the only way to pass his test was to kill me, the outsider who cursed Felra with scarce prey. If the Snowfell Flock doesn’t act to take my life, then Relmoon will simply form a new one.

Wait a second. That means…

“You believe Keuvra wants to replace the Snowfell Flock,” the realization takes my breath away. “And whoever takes my life will be the progeny of that flock. No more elders, no more chevils… just one Dragon making all the decisions. You.”

“You sound so offended,” Relmoon chuckles as he circles through the underbrush. “But isn’t that what you seek as well, Princess? To return to your pitiful Kingdom and ‘make all the decisions’ as Monarch?”

“That’s different,” Kuro growls defiantly. “Asha has the support of Ellyntide, and the Goddess. You have three rotten Exiles and a traitor.”

Well! Um. Everyone in the palace hated me, and the Goddess was so upset at Mom that she caused her to collapse during communion. To say that I had their support would be stretching the truth… but I’m still going to smile and act like Kuro’s right!

Relmoon rolls his eyes. “When I’m finished with you, it won’t matter what the elders or anyone else in the flock think. Keuvra will reappear in White Mountain, supporting me, and the rest will fall in line. Prey will return, and our fledges will survive frostwing.”

This is insane. Not only is Relmoon delusional, but he’s also dangerous! “You honestly believe yourself,” I murmur, shaking my head in dismay. “You think you’re some noble Dragon doing what’s right.”

“I’ll do anything to protect my family,” Relmoon hisses, stamping his talon against the ground. “Just as much as you’d do anything to protect yours.”

Slowly, Relmoon’s gaze slides onto… Kuro. Er, Relmoon said my family, right? I quickly glance at Kuro, and she seems equally as confused.

“Oh?” Relmoon chirps with amusement. A sinister smile creeps across his face. “Don’t tell me you actually fell for that pathetic boy.”

Wait, who is he talking about? He doesn’t mean Nakino, does he? Why…

…

My body stiffens as a grave realization draws over me. Tomcat said, ‘everyone’s noticed.’ Surely, everyone includes Relmoon. He must think Kuro and I are secretly mates!

“Asha…?”

I raise my head to see Kuro, all the fury in her face dissolved. She’s staring at me with that peculiar mix of anxiety, fear, and longing. My eyes fall to the ground, and I avert my head. Getting called out by Relmoon was not the way I envisioned confronting Kuro’s romantic feelings for me.

The crimson drakon relaxes his stance and cackles to himself, “Oh, dear. It seems I was wrong, after all.”

“Wait a wingbeat,” Moth stares at Relmoon in confusion. “You mean these two still aren’t mated?”

“I don’t even think they’ve shared their feelings for each other,” Relmoon sighs wistfully.

I take an unsteady step backward, wishing my body could disappear into the moon and never return. Why did Relmoon have to drag this up!? I just learned about Kuro’s feelings for me the other day! I’ve barely had time to process my feelings for her, much less talk to her about them! Damnit, damnit, damint! My breathing becomes erratic, and my heart thunders against my chest. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Kuro staring at me with an equally as concerned expression. How could I do this to her?

“Asha,” Relmoon speaks in a surprisingly earnest voice. “Do you understand, now?”

Slowly, I force myself to meet Relmoon’s gaze. “U-Understand what?”

“Why you must die?”

I exhale sharply and look away. How could I possibly understand such a thing?

With a certain melody, Relmoon intones, “The skies of Maki are just over the horizon.”

A cold breeze blows through the clearing, numbing my feathers. Just like Lemurs, Kin believe the planet Maki is where they go in the afterlife. Relmoon must be reciting a proverb about the fragility of life.

He continues, “You and Kuro are going to die without ever having expressed your feelings for each other. The Kuro I know would have never let an opportunity slip through her feathers, so I can only assume the reason you haven’t talked… is you, Princess.”

That’s not true at all! It’s not my fault I didn’t understand Lithan courtship the moment I landed in Felra! I didn’t even know the flock existed until Kuro saved my life! How was I supposed to know she wanted to be my mate?

But, despite that… A certain part of me knows he’s right.

I keep my head low, trying to hide the tears in my eyes. I should have known better. I should have talked to Kuro the moment Frope had to spell it out for me. Kuro thinks so much of me. And now, I’ll no longer have the chance…

“Life is fragile,” Relmoon speaks with a certain pain. “It can be torn from you faster than the talons of a diving gryhawk. I would have thought the Princess who sent her dear friend to Maki—“

“SHUT up.”

I raise my head to see Kuro staring down Relmoon, the fire in her eyes restored.

“Oh?” Relmoon quips. “What’s—”

“QUIET!!” Kuro snarls.

Relmoon freezes and does as he’s told, but not before a sadistic smile curls across his muzzle. He tips his wings for Kuro to speak.

“What happens between me and Asha is none of your business!” she howls, strained emotion clouding her voice. “And if Asha isn’t ready to talk about her feelings, then fine! I respect that! It’s not up to me, you, or anyone else to decide how she feels. But she’ll have enough time to decide because she’s not dying today. I won’t allow her to die at the claws of such a despicable drakon. So, just shut up!!”

Relmoon growls in delight — I’ve never seen him look so pleased. But as he opens his muzzle to speak, he’s suddenly cut off.

“…Bitch.”

Battling tears, Kuro looks at me and smiles. I can’t believe it! She kept her word! GREAT burn, Kuro! Instantly, I feel my spirits rejuvenated. It won’t be easy, but with Kuro at my side, we might stand a chance! I’m not dying without a fight!

“Whatever,” Relmoon rolls his eyes. He flicks his tail, and the other Dragons come to attention, falling into an attack posture. “Enough nattering. We’ll be sending you both to Maki. Perhaps you can discuss your feelings there?”

As fierce growls rise from both sides, Relmoon begins pacing around us with his head held low. Moth feigns a lunge and snaps his jaws, while another exile bunches his muscles, ready to pounce when the sign is given. The fight is imminent, but who will strike first? Should Kuro and I go after Relmoon or pick off the other Dragons individually? Who are they, anyway? Could they be just as dangerous as Relmoon?

What if… I could attack them all at once?

…

There’s no other choice. This is my best shot if I want to live to see another day!

Relmoon raises his wings to signal to the others. When they drop, the fight will be on! “Goodbye, Kur—“

“HEY!”

With everyone’s attention diverted, I rear my head back and tickle the muscles deep in the bowels of my throat. Heat builds quickly, and my mouth flings open, expelling an intense blowtorch of flame! With terror in his eyes, Moth dives out of the way just in time to see the column of flame sail past him and collide with one of the half-collapsed stone pillars that pepper the clearing.

FOOM!!

Just as it did at Owens Island, the flames are reflected outwards in all directions, raining down hellfire across the clearing. The desiccated underbrush ignites, and a heartbeat later, a savage wildfire roars to life. Bedlam erupts, and shrieks of terror rise from the Dragons. With my heart pounding, I spin around to see two of the Exiles flailing madly with their wings on fire, scattering like prey-birds into the recesses of the building to escape the intense heat. But where’s Kuro? She was standing right next to me as I shot my fire, but now all I can see is flames. As the heat of the fire rises, there’s no time to search for her!

“KURO!!” I screech into a wall of fire, hoping she hears my plea. “FLY!!”

With flames swirling around me, I lope into the air, using the rising heat to quickly gain altitude and sail out of the ancient building and into the sky above. Once I clear the tree line, I gaze back to find Kuro pounding her wings to catch up to me.

“I couldn’t find him!” she shouts.

Kuro must be talking about Relmoon. When the fire erupted, she must have dived into the flames to chase after him. “Forget about Relmoon!” I screech. “We have to return to the flock’s territory!”

Kuro’s face twists in pain before nodding. The revenge she seeks will have to wait until another day. As we bank to our left and gain altitude, I gaze around to see a towering pillar of gray and black smoke rising into the cold, frostwing sky. I wince at the realization nothing will remain of the ancient building — my only chance to uncover why I became a Lithan may be lost forever. But if that’s the price to live to see another day, then so be it. I’ll live without knowing.

Warm thermals propel us higher as Kuro rejoins me to my left. She keeps her eyes averted, focusing on the skies before us. We ride the currents hard, knowing Relmoon and his thugs won’t be far behind.

We flew and flew until our wings could no longer carry us. Then, we forced ourselves to fly some more.

Despite the distance traveled, it was a silent flight — Kuro and I only spoke when we needed to navigate. I tried to hold my gaze away from Kuro, and it felt like she was doing the same to me. Today was traumatic for several reasons, but the unease hanging between us stung the most. When we finally arrived at Flat Rock, exhausted and worn out, the pale outline of Maki was framed bright against the darkened slopes of the stone mountain.

We land near the top of the aerie and quickly locate an empty den. As we step inside, my heart quickens — the silence between us can’t last forever. We’ll have to discuss what happened today and what Relmoon forced us to confront.

Kuro stops a few yards into the den. “I guess we’ll spend the night here,” she says, breaking the conversational truce.

“Yeah…” I drift off. It’s the best I can muster for a response.

“Asha,” Kuro speaks slowly, then turns to face me. Her face is brimming with anxiousness. “About the—“

“It’s not your fault.” I cut her off with a firm voice.

Kuro exhales slightly, and her gaze falls to the ground. She’s trying to hide her face.

“I didn’t know until Frope told me the other day,” I say, drawing a careful breath. “I… I had no idea.”

As I enter the den, Kuro raises her head but says nothing. A certain glimmer in her eyes tells me she’s surprised.

“I never took a mate when I was in Ellyntide. I’m not used to others being interested in me… that way. Kuro, I…” my voice dissipates, overcome with emotion. These are the hardest words I’ve ever spoken. “I don’t know if I can feel that way about you. Or Nakino.”

As the words leave my muzzle, Kuro’s expression craters. She looks ravaged, moments away from a full breakdown.

“I’m not saying ‘no,’” I quickly add. Unbidden, I step forward but stop myself before I can lean in to comfort her. “I’m… not saying anything. Not yet. I’m just not ready to abandon my family in Ellyntide.”

Kuro’s expression moderates somewhat, as do her feathers. Still, this is devastating for her. I have to maintain my distance, but I don’t want her to be miserable.

“Kuro, you’re so special to me. I hope we can stay friends forever, even if I return to normal. But… I need some space to decide what’s best for me. I hope you understand.”

The most uncomfortable silence stretches between us.

With her head held low, Kuro opens her muzzle to say something but quickly shuts it. Her face twists in pain, and she draws a long, staggered breath. She must have prepared herself for the possibility of rejection, but… this too is heartbreaking to watch. And it’s all because of me! How do normal animals put up with these gut-wrenching feelings of guilt?

Finally, Kuro gathers her courage and murmurs meekly, “I understand.”

“Thank you,” I breathe. I feel myself unconscionably taking another step forward before once again stopping myself. I smile in hesitation, and Kuro forces a smile back.

“Let’s see Bonello as soon as the sun rises,” she says, raising her head and ruffling slightly to gather composure. “We have to warn the flock about Relmoon.”

“R-Right,” I say. It seems she’s eager to move on from the subject of our feelings. Who could blame her?

We settle against the disparate bedding of the den, separated from each other as far as the room will allow. I’ve become more comfortable sleeping away from Kuro, but to do so in the same den… this arrangement will be difficult. When the nightmares return, how will I resist her warmth?

As I perform my nightly preen, Kuro calls across the den. “Asha? Is it really true? Can females be mated with other females in the Farlands?”

Well, that’s an awfully strange way to phrase that question. And now that I think about it, I can’t recall telling Kuro about same-sex couples in the Farlands. I guess Tomcat must have said something to her.

“Yeah,” I say, allowing a yawn to escape me. “It’s totally normal. In fact, one of my ancestors ascended the throne while mated to a Marten woman.”

“Oh,” Kuro says, curling her neck around her body to lay her head against the ground. “Ellyntide sounds really nice.”

The admission makes me smile. If Kuro was a Lemur, she would be happy in Farlands. I’m sure we’d be friends there, too. “Goodnight, Kuro.”

“Fair dreams, Asha.”

I relax my head under my wings, pleased with how amicably Kuro responded. She shouldn’t be upset! I could still decide to be her mate! But Kuro’s always been incredibly kind to me… perhaps I should have harbored the faith that she would extend that generosity even in rejection.

My thoughts begin to wander — sleep is close at hand. But as my consciousness numbs, I’m stirred awake by a strange, muffled noise. Confused, I raise my wing to look around, and the source of the disturbance becomes clear: from the bedding on the opposite side of the den, Kuro is weeping gently into her feathers.