The Princess's Feathers

Wet snowflakes collide into icy wings as we pass through another cloud bank on our way to the edge of Felra. The stubborn cloud cover has made navigating the frigid skies bothersome, but brief glimpses of the forest below are enough for Kuro to guide us. Flying to my right, she hasn’t said much since we left the Grandfather Tree early this morning. But then, neither have I, for I’ve been far too confined to my thoughts, recalling every incredible detail that happened to me these past few weeks.

Kuro flicks her ears to follow and descends, disappearing as she slips through the bottom of the cloud deck. I follow her lead through a blanket of white, feeling cold drops of moisture pass over my facial feathers. Then the clouds part suddenly, revealing Kuro above a familiar curve of land, a small extension of brown and gold against an endless sea of swirling gray.

Archer’s Landing. The place where the adventure of a lifetime began and where it will now end.

Our final night at the Grandfather Tree was… awkward. Nakino and I agreed to keep our Redaga encounter a secret. I didn’t want Kuro to know Relmoon saved us, and Nakino didn’t want the flock to know how weak he is. Kuro arrived in the evening, ready to listen to as many stories as I could tell. But I felt quite distant, and I’m certain Kuro noticed it. As I told her the story about Professor Willow and his botany program, I watched her expression slowly flip from fascination to concern. All told, I could only recite three stories before claiming I was tired and wanted to sleep. By then, her enthusiasm had waned, and she seemed equally prepared for rest.

I wish I could have talked longer, I really do. But ever since my encounter with Relmoon, his ominous warning has been playing in my head like a needle stuck against a phonograph.

‘Because she’s using you, Princess Asha Eloise Lordanou.’

It seems crazy to think she would do something to betray my trust just as I’m leaving Felra, but did Relmoon feel the same way after moving into her den? Am I just the next Dragon caught in her crosshairs? Questions like these have been swirling inside my head ever since yesterday. But now that we’re over Archer’s Landing, I feel somewhat relieved. Nothing is keeping me in Felra any longer. Even if she tried to do something now, I could simply fly home.

As she brings to land by the continent’s edge, I can’t help but stare at her. Relieved of my fears, I can focus on saying goodbye to the friend I’ll never forget.

ROOAR!!

Kuro calls our landing, screaming against the howling gales blowing from the strait. We settle down next to a windswept rosewood fir and shake our wings of the ice that accumulated during our flight. Finding ourselves atop a ridge, I stare out across the strait. The clouds are tempestuous, churning and roiling against an endless sea of mottled gray. Can I really fly in these conditions?

“Well,” Kuro says, approaching my side. “This is it.”

I take a deep breath and slowly release it. “This is it. I’m going home.”

I glance over to see Kuro staring across the strait, devoid of emotion. What is she thinking about? Is she bottling her feelings?

“There’s still time to join me,” I suggest.

The guise drops, and she loosens a gentle smile. “My life is here,” she says. “And yours in Ellyntide. With your family. That is the way things are meant to be.”

I exhale, feeling my fears assuaged. She’s faithful until the very end. I should have trusted her more from the start.

Kuro scans the sky, watching clouds whip in from the strait. “I’ll fly up and check the winds,” she says, opening her wings. “You need to conserve your energy for the flight.”

That would be helpful. “Thank you, Kuro.”

She smiles like the sun, a ray of light against a world of gray. “I’ll be right back!”

Kuro calls her takeoff and leaps into the air, catching a ground-level gust that quickly draws her into a rising thermal. I observe her movements as she climbs into the sky, trying to commit every graceful detail of her flight to memory. This may be the last time I witness a Lithan soar through the air. I don’t know what awaits me when I return home. The disputed island, attacking Nortane, making contact with my family… there are so many ways my plans could be foiled. I want to remember indelible moments like this while I still can.

Kuro soars in the air, rising and falling gracefully on the wind. Moments pass, then minutes. Still, she flies the same paths back and forth. It occurs to me just how long she’s taking to locate the calm winds. Has their presence diminished since yesterday? Relmoon warned me that I must leave today, so they must be a very thin current of air… right?

Finally, Kuro begins her descent. As she approaches ground level, I strain to see her face, anxiously looking for any indication of how the flight went. Unexpectedly, she fails to call her landing and glides down before me. Her face is grave like she had just discovered a corpse.

“Kuro?” I ask, holding my breath.

“Asha…” she drifts off, barely audible over the howling wind. She averts her eyes and murmurs, “ I— I can’t find them.”

“You can’t find what?”

“The calm winds. They’re not there.”

They’re… not there?

“But…” my voice dissipates like the wind sucked it from my throat. “…That’s not possible.”

Kuro shakes her head slowly. “Asha, I searched up and down the sky. I don’t understand why, but… they’re gone.”

Gone?

How could they be gone…?

If the calm winds are gone, then that means…

“I’m stuck here.”

I’m stuck in Felra for the next six months. I won’t see Mom, Dad, Sofl, or Duncan until next spring. My plan to defend the disputed island and appear as an ally to Ellyntide is ruined. If Mom has started a war as retribution for my death, as she did for my Grandmother, it could be over by the time I return home. Countless lives lost, and our cities attacked, all because I missed my window to return home by a single day?

“Asha…” Kuro says, taking short and erratic breaths, moments away from breaking out into tears. She approaches and lowers her head to nuzzle it against mine. “Oh, Asha, I’m so—“

“Don’t touch me.”

I whip my head away before she can get close.

“Huh?” Kuro blinks.

“You’re lying,” I seethe, all my misery channeled into hatred. “The calm winds are still here.”

Kuro stares at me in disbelief. “Asha?!”

“Relmoon warned me about you,” I snarl, lowering my head and stepping backward. “He said you were using me and that you betray everyone you meet. Well, now I see the truth, Kuro. Because without me, you have to allow Enyll back into your den.”

“What?!” Kuro shrieks, rearing her head in feigned shock. She’s acting like she’s hyperventilating, but I know better. “Relmoon? You talked to Rel—”

“Don’t lie to me, Kuro!” I shriek, flaring my wings wide. “Relmoon flew past here yesterday! He told me he felt the calm winds!”

So, this is how it ends. This is how Kuro betrays me! I didn’t want to believe Relmoon when he said Kuro deceives everyone she meets. I didn’t think she had a reason to betray me… until I remembered Enyll. I had almost forgotten about the copper drakon and the stipulation Meldi made at White Mountain: When I leave Felra, Enyll returns to Kuro’s den.

Who could forget their snide remarks and constant bickering? Kuro would do anything to keep Enyll out of her den, and a convenient lie about the winds is a small price to pay for her sanity. Why would a Dragon care about my family and my Kingdom? All she cares about is herself!

For a heartbeat, Kuro is unable to respond to my accusation. But then she stiffens up, folding her wings and turning deathly serious. “Asha, I’m not lying!!”

“Admit it, Kuro!! You told me how much you loathe Enyll! You’ll do anything to keep me in Felra!”

Looking desperate, Kuro raises her voice and yells, “Asha, that isn’t true!!”

“This is pointless,” I growl, throwing my wings down in frustration. How gullible does she think I am? Frustrated and tired, I turn away to face the endless expanse of clouds. “I’m going home. Goodbye, Kuro.”

I leap into the sky and pound my wings, channeling frustration to give me a head start on my long journey home.

“Asha, wait!!”

I ignore the Dragon I once considered my friend and quickly gain altitude against the winds. I can’t believe she would wait until now to betray me! Once, I thought Kuro’s kindness was too good to be true. I wondered if she would end up like every other ‘friend’ I had back home, like every noble who tried to use me and my family’s influence for their whims. Little did I know my intuition was right, and she was simply waiting until the right moment to betray me. I should have listened to my instincts!

With thoughts of anger propelling me forward, I face the brunt of the winds head-on. They’re just as strong as before, though I find it harder to maintain an even flight. Nakino treated the wound the Redaga left under my wing, but it hasn’t fully healed. With each flap against the gales, pain lances the side of my body. I have to persist!

But I find them conspicuously absent as I reach the altitude where the calm wind should be. Confused, I try climbing higher, only to be blasted by more intense winds. Could the winds have migrated to a different level? Where was Relmoon flying yesterday when he—

WHOOOSH!

My world turns sideways as a great gust of wind, more potent than any I’ve felt before, blows me into a tumbling mess of feathers and claws.

ROARR!!

Kuro’s cry rises over the winds as I fall from the sky. Too panicked to be upset, I recall what happened the last time the winds of the strait blew me off course. I strain to hold my wings open and allow my body to fall with the wind instead of against it. Slowly, the tumbling begins to slow, and the winds whip my body around, flipping me into an upright position where I regain control of my flight. But I haven’t gone unscathed from the fall. Fresh blood flows from the wound under my wing, and I feel it tear open farther with each flap.

ROARRRRR!!

Kuro!! Argh, Why is she…?

I wince in pain, nearly losing control of my flight once more. I have to find some way to tolerate my wound, but how? As my mind searches for answers, I gaze into the roiling clouds above, watching them race off the strait at speeds that don’t seem possible. As I do, a grave realization dawns on me.

…How?

How could I possibly find respite in all of this chaos?

…Was Kuro being truthful?

…

I’ve really missed my chance to return home, haven’t I?

…

My wings nearly give out from underneath me, weighed down by searing pain and the realization of just how wrong I was. I drift like a stone until I’m forced to flap and keep my flight stable. Would it really be so bad if I tumbled into the ground, though? Not only have I missed my window to return home and see my family, but I’ve made a complete ass of myself to my dearest friend, the one who proved how loyal she was to me time and time again. How could I say such cruel things to her? Why am I always such a fool?

“Asha!!”

Believing I deserve everything bad that comes to me, I collide with the ground and tumble through the grass before coming to an undignified stop in front of the windswept rosewood. Dirt and debris cover my tattered body, but I couldn’t care less. I bury my head into the ground and sob, defeated and broken. I’m stuck in Felra, and my only friend surely hates me now. Why do the worst things always happen to me? Why does everything I do fail? How can I ruin everything I touch?

I wallow in my misery until a force is applied to my back. Claws dig into my shoulders, holding me in place. Instinctively I squirm, trying to dislodge whoever, or whatever, is on top of me.

“Hold still,” Kuro commands in a voice brimming with frustration.

“Wha…?”

“I said, hold still!”

She sinks her claws deeper, forcing me to squeak in momentary pain. Unwilling to find out just how deep they can go, I stop writhing and allow her to rest on top of me.

And then something unexpected happens. A tongue and a pair of fangs begin working the feathers on the back of my neck. The barbs are straightened, returned to their original shape, and licked clean. My feathers… they’re being preened?

“Kuro?” I croak.

“I’m grooming your neck,” she responds flatly.

“Wh… why?”

“Because I can’t stand seeing you this upset.”

She… doesn’t want to see me upset? Why? I’ve done something truly unforgivable to her. Why would she offer me kindness? Frightened and confused, I try to shake her off my back again. But this time, she growls in response and pushes me further into submission.

GRRRR…

Feeling my resolve wither, I allow the unexpected grooming session to continue. Slowly, as Kuro makes her way down my neck, my breaths become longer and less erratic. But confusion turns to misery as the realization of my situation settles in. I’ve truly missed the window to return home by a single day. My plan to defend the disputed island from Nortane has failed. I’ve failed Mom, I’ve failed Sofl, and I’ve failed Duncan.

But worst of all, I’ve failed Kuro.

In the depths of misery, I bury my head in the grass and sob uncontrollably.

Lying in silence next to the rosewood, Kuro and I watch the clouds in the strait drift across the sky. After my neck had been thoroughly groomed, she laid beside me, our bodies touching, and draped her wing across me. I was still too miserable to acknowledge her gesture, but in time I lifted my head from the grass and tried to regain some semblance of calm. Does Kuro hate me now? Will she leave me to fend for myself in the flock? The questions flow through my head like blood from an open wound, but I’m far too scared to speak up and ask them.

Eventually, a cold breeze from the north blows through us, and Kuro stirs. In a voice strained with emotion, she asks, "How much did he tell you?”

I draw a long breath and quickly exhale. It feels wrong to speak to her again so soon, but she deserves to know about my encounter with Relmoon. I gather my strength and say, “He told me you were mated.”

Kuro remains silent and unmoving, her gaze fixated on the clouds. She’s not objecting, so it must be true.

“And after he sparred with you on couple’s night, you chased after him.”

“He what?!” Kuro gasps, staring at me incredulously.

I recoil a little at her response, still emotionally fragile. I frown and nod silently when I recognize her anger isn’t directed at me.

Kuro grits her fangs and soars to her talons like a voracious gust of wind. “That mud eating….”

“Kuro?”

“All Relmoon does is LIE!” she roars, smacking her tail against the ground in frustration. She whips her head around to face me and growls, “Relmoon chased after me. He begged me to allow him into my den. All he wanted to do was spar so he could beat me! That’s all he cared about!” She steps away and flails her wings in frustration. “Did he mention the kits?”

I tilt my head. “The kits?”

“No, of course he didn’t!” she yells, throwing her wings up in frustration. “After he lived with me for a season, Relmoon was ready for kits! In a single season!! I told him ‘no,’ and he turned completely mad!”

He asked her to raise kits? Isn’t that normal? “I thought you had to raise a family to remain in the flock?”

Kuro shakes her head. “If you don’t want kits, you can appeal the rule before Keuvra. It rarely happens, but Meldi told me I have the right to ask him.”

So, despite all those lectures I was given by the elders, the rules of the flock aren’t set in stone. Or at least, the rule about whelping kits isn’t. If I’m spending winter in Felra, could I try to appeal that rule, too? Better yet, could I appeal having to take a mate altogether?

“Asha,” Kuro continues, moving to stand at my side. The anger on her face has been replaced by remorse. “I should have told you about Relmoon. I’m sorry you had to get involved this way.” She releases a sigh and stares at the ground. “And I’m sorry he lied to you about the winds.”

Wait, she thinks Relmoon lied about the crossing? But why would he lie to me? I’m only guilty of being Kuro’s friend! (At least, I think we’re still friends!) If Relmoon lied, does that mean the crossing has been unsafe for longer than a day?

I release a sigh of my own and settle into the grass. This is all too stressful to think about. I should be flying home to Ellyntide, not sitting in Felra worrying about drama in the flock. As I feel myself getting lost in my thoughts, Kuro returns to my side again.

Well, what should I do now?

Part of me wishes I could remain at Archer’s Landing, waiting for the exact moment the calm winds return. But since that’s unreasonable, I have to return to the flock. More specifically, I have to survive with the flock. Staying in Kuro’s den during the winter is the safest option. But what about Relmoon? If I stay with Kuro, will I get drawn into their conflict? What about Relmoon’s account of their relationship? Who’s right? Who’s lying?

Those two Dragon are awfully similar, aren’t they? Both of them are fantastically strong, and both of them can claim to have saved my life. Kuro seems to be misunderstood by the flock, but I could have misunderstood Relmoon just the same. Kuro has a fiery interpretation of what happened when she was with Relmoon, while his side of the story is much more measured and calm. Is Kuro being driven by blind hatred? Was Relmoon lying about his story, too?

Stuck in my thoughts, I barely notice Kuro drape her wing across me. Her spiced scent drifts into my nostrils, reminding me of our happier times together. If Kuro is lying about Relmoon, is it wrong to remain with her? If I take sides with Kuro, will I invite more Kin to hate me?

Maybe none of this matters. It seems Kuro doesn’t hate me, and I have to survive until spring. No matter what. So even if she’s lying, I have to trust her.

‘Life is full of unexpected events. You can choose to let the negatives define you, or you can choose to overcome them. Embrace the positive aspects you can control!’

But I want to trust her. So, I will.

‘And remember, Cream Puff: There’s always a choice!’

Feeling contented, I scoot closer to my friend and fill my nostrils with her scent. Recalling the times we were close, I rub my head into her chest feathers and release an unsteady sigh. My life has become infinitely more complex since I left home. But when I’m close to Kuro, it feels like everything will be alright.

I close my eyes. A heartbeat later, Kuro’s head curls against mine.

As nightfall approaches, the sun hangs low behind an overcast sky. Losing track of time, Kuro and I have been watching the clouds roll past, keeping our bodies close to one another, never saying a word. At one point, I thought I should ask her about our plans for the winter. But it never felt like the right time to interrupt the silence. Being around Kuro calms me, and I desperately need tranquility today.

But it’s getting dark. As much as I wish I could wait here until spring, we need to return to the flock. I pull myself away from Kuro’s side and loosen my wings. “I guess we should fly back to your den.”

Kuro is silent for a moment before nodding in agreement. “We should inform the elders you’ll be spending frostwing with us.”

Ugh. The thought of seeing the elders again fills me with an incomparable dread. The last time we spoke, they were quite pleased with my progress in learning how to hunt. They looked forward to the time I would leave Felra and secure their access to their old hunting grounds. But now I must stand before them as a failure, hoping they’ll believe my excuse for being stuck in Felra. They were already suspicious of me, so how will they view me now?

Kuro seems to have noticed my dour mood shift. She smiles and asks, “Aren’t you happy we get to spend more time together? Because if I’m honest, I’m really happy about it.”

I give her a look. Too soon, Kuro.

Realizing her mistake, she frowns and averts her gaze. “Asha, I was ready to watch you fly home today. If we had never met again, then... things would have been alright. I want you to reunite with your family.”

Kuro stares skyward and then turns her head away from me. Her wings stir, and the feathers on her neck flatten. Is she trying to say something?

“But… since you’re still here, I just….”

She turns to face me with an expression I’ve never seen before — a peculiar cocktail of calm contentedness, fear, and longing. She lowers her head in front of mine and passes the feathers on her neck — the most fragrant — past my nostrils. My senses are overwhelmed, full of the spiced scent I’ve come to know so well. She curls her head around mine and buries it against me, rubbing fervently into my neck feathers.

“Hm?” she raises her head above mine and smiles softly. Looking down with eyes like sunshine, she asks, “What do you think? Don’t you feel the same, Asha?”

I blink, trying to think of what to say. What is she asking me? She never finished her sentence. But she’s staring at me so intently, ready for my answer. What should I do?

“T-the same about what?” I stutter.

Disappointment flashes across her face but quickly passes. She smiles and says, “…Nevermind. I’m just happy you’re here, Asha.”

Confused, I loosen a smile. Why is she trying to hide her disappointment? If she wanted a truthful answer, why was she acting so coy? Why does Kuro act so weird sometimes? Well, whatever. Maybe I’ll figure out what she was asking some other time.

After all, we will have plenty of time to ourselves in the coming months. I flew to the ‘Northern Continent’ with the goal of finding others like me and learning how to live in this new body. But after today’s events, I find myself with a new goal: Survival. At any cost. No matter what happens this winter, I have to endure until spring. The calculus may have changed, but I can never falter in my commitment to my family and Kingdom. Everybody at home is counting on me!

But, for what it’s worth, I’m happy Kuro is by my side. With her help, I’m confident we’ll survive the coming winter. On a sunny day in spring, we’ll return to this place and say our goodbyes in earnest.