The Outer God Needs Warmth

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The day after decorating the entrance with a smiling doll.

I headed towards the Royal Academy as usual.

Today is the day before the weekend. Maybe that’s why the classroom is oddly lively.

It’s amusing that even with one person missing, no one thinks it’s a big deal.

And the reason for that can be found in Kanna’s memory.

At the Royal Academy, there are quite a few people who disappear unexpectedly for days due to family matters.

And those who have vanished might return with a different first name but the same surname.

Then, by an unspoken rule, they are treated as the same person.

It’s really funny.

This means that the clan is what matters, not the individual.

Of course, if there were someone very close to them, there would be some sadness, but this rule arises when the connection between clans takes precedence over individual feelings.

Just think: you had a close friend from a clan for a long time, but then assume that friend was killed, and their sibling takes their place.

The sibling might have killed the friend, but they are part of the same clan. If the parents want to maintain friendly relations, it means they have to be close to that sibling.

The clan is more important than the individual.

That’s why the Royal Academy continues to exist.

It’s not merely about educating kids; it’s about maintaining the connections between clans.

Of course, for truly building relationships, gatherings where people are invited are the way to go rather than just schools.

At the Royal Academy, that preliminary practice occurs. Forgetting those we should forget and shaking hands with those we should.

In other words, the smiling doll will soon be forgotten.

Even if forgotten, all that remains for it is joy; so the contract was executed properly. Sure, I twisted it deliberately to let it misunderstand, but it’s his fault for not reading the contract properly!

Yes. There’s no problem at all!

“What’s with the good mood?”

Lunchtime.

I was just waiting in the classroom to go late, when Victoria approached me.

“You look happy?”

“Yeah. You oddly seem happy, what’s going on?”

I touched my expression.

This doesn’t look that cheerful, does it?

“Is it because I make cheerful dolls?”

“Cheerful dolls?”

“They’re dolls filled with joy. They laugh when you press them.”

Victoria let out a small laugh at my words.

“Do you really call that a cheerful doll? That’s quite an expensive toy. Wait, can you even make dolls?”

“Of course. I can make them from pretty much any materials.”

In fact, I have several memories of people who could make dolls. There were particularly many in the first world.

If we reference Daegon’s and Primordial Heavenly Sovereign’s memories, even human-like dolls…

No, that’s not possible for me.

I have the memories, but I don’t understand their techniques.

While I can’t make such dolls, I can make similar mechanical device dolls that exist in this world, so I don’t have to start from scratch.

But it’s true that I can’t make them.

At best, I can only make dolls from stone, wood, and thread. So saying I can make them out of pretty much any materials is accurate.

“I didn’t expect you to have that aspect.”

Victoria looked at me with a very intrigued expression.

But if things go on like this, the conversation will drift towards the identity of the dolls.

So, I decided to gently steer the topic in another direction.

“I’ve also tried sewing clothes for a growing child.”

I dressed Soo-oh like that. Cheonma frequently gave her gifts. But she grew so fast that the length quickly became short, and being active, it wore out quickly.

It took a lot of effort.

But there’s no one to share with, right?

So I did it. It means I have actual experience along with just the memories of others.

Well, I couldn’t make them look very nice.

“You?”

“You know, I’ve been summoned by those called Sahaquin. This isn’t the first summon for me either. Although back then, I wasn’t the one Sahaquin originally intended to call.”

They were actually trying to summon Daegon.

I caught onto the signal and ended up being summoned instead.

At my words, Victoria pondered for a moment. She probably recalled our first meeting.

Up until that point, I also had Victoria’s memories.

In someone’s document, there was a gigantic monster identified as God, and I thought we might be able to kill it, so I swung a metal lever at the one next to me first.

That was a long time ago.

After this semester ends, it will have been a year since then.

So, about dressing the child and the fact that I’ve been summoned, which topic do you prefer?

Whichever you choose, it won’t lead to a conversation about what I made the doll out of.

“Did you make the clothes well?”

Ah, that side?

“Rags.”

“So you don’t make them well.”

“Well, then I could do it sooner.”

As I replied, Victoria nodded as if she understood. But is my answer not satisfactory?

There’s something oddly lingering in the air.

“What happened to that child?”

Indeed.

She was curious about the child, but she asked it indirectly.

“She died in a fight.”

“Sorry.”

“Is there anything to apologize for?”

I originally asked about someone’s well-being, but it’s only natural to become solemn when I say they died. However, I deliberately put it like that.

To let her know that it doesn’t matter, this is a rather decent answer, right?

A response meant to stir guilt.

Victoria hesitated and then fell silent, as if she found it hard to continue talking. Yet, she left room for various imaginations.

From the notion that they must have been older than now, one could think they were older when they died.

There is a way out.

And mentioning events from another world to someone else isn’t a good choice.

If they ask why I keep moving between worlds and why I’m trying to rise, it’s difficult to answer.

Yet, Victoria’s expression doesn’t look good.

Hmm, she’s more downcast than I thought. I’ll steer the conversation in a different direction for a bit.

“Victoria. It seems I’ve lost a lot of what I used to fear?”

Victoria stared at me intently at my question.

“You’re not the one who’s scary.”

And then she bit on the bait I threw. But at that moment, the look she gave me was one of fear. Yet, she says it’s not scary?

Pretending to be strong is… not the case.

“Really?”

“You’re just too strong.”

Am I scary for being strong? But Victoria didn’t seem to feel fear during the time I turned Maleficent into an object.

If we exclude that, haven’t I not shown my strength?

“I’m not human, after all.”

But Victoria shook her head. It seems she’s not talking about those kinds of things.

“You say you don’t seem like a person, but that’s a perspective from a weak person. The words meant for you would originally be pure or noble.”

She’s acting in such a way to appear that way.

Yeah, it’s working well.

In reality, I’m a monster quietly waiting for the bait to come within its jaws.

The bait is shining brilliantly.

“Expecting that too much from a person is quite heavy.”

Yes, it is. It’s not easy for people to do so.

So, it isn’t that such things are commonplace or trivial, but rather, as Victoria says, pure or noble.

Making them misunderstand on purpose and then declaring it’s a misunderstanding feels like I’m just a liar, but still, I have to say it.

“I don’t want to live that way. I mean what I say; people should live as they want. If I were to impose on them, that would be all.”

Victoria nodded at my words.

“Yeah. So that’s what that means.”

This is something to laugh about. Indeed. That’s right.

“No, Victoria. Even if an evil person becomes a tyrant, if that’s what they desire, I would support them. If a murderer wants to continue enjoying murder, I would encourage it. If what I said sounds heavy, then that means you want to live that kind of life. Hence, it sounds heavy.”

Yes.

The higher one’s ideals, the heavier that phrase becomes, “live as you wish.”

As the weight becomes too heavy, people negotiate with themselves as they grow older. As long as you make good money, that’s enough. Just doing your job well is sufficient. Just being able to live well and raise your children is enough.

They say they adjusted their dreams to reality, but it can also be said they compromised with reality.

Ah, but of course, this isn’t a bad thing.

Wishing for dreams without developing one’s abilities is called delusion.

However, if you are indeed working for that dream, then regardless of age, that is a dream.

And most importantly, a dream doesn’t just refer to a single profession.

For example, if you wanted to be a fighter pilot, it’s because you want to be someone who protects the country while flying a fantastic fighter jet.

If you want to be a firefighter, it’s not just about putting out fires; it’s about wanting to protect people from them.

Every profession has beliefs or social benefits that come with it.

And usually, that’s interpreted as goodness.

Why?

Because even though they have that profession, many fail to do it.

It’s not something that’s taken for granted; it’s because you need virtue to achieve it.

If all police officers purely catch criminals and all judges pass fair judgments under the law, then if that profession performs its rightful duties, it wouldn’t be seen as something virtuous.

“Victoria, you want to live a respectable life. That’s why it’s so heavy. If you simply want to live happily, you could make different choices.”

I mimicked a motion of grabbing something with my hand.

“With that power, just stopping blood in someone’s head for a moment could kill them. You could kill those you dislike and seize what you want. If anyone resists you, you could sink the whole city.”

Of course, the kingdom isn’t stupid; doing such things would get you killed in a matter of days.

“You’re going to die in the end, so make the most of today. So when the accumulation of today happens, you will achieve the life you wish for.”

Victoria, who heard my words, gazed at the ceiling. Given the unfocused look in her eyes, she’s not really looking at it.

Then she sighed softly and approached me.

“That’s harsh. Well, I guess I know what kind of person you are now. Alright. Let’s go get something to eat.”

“Sure.”

I had intentionally waited until a spot opened up. Victoria and I headed to the cafeteria.