The Non-Human Society

Renn yelped as I sat up.

I felt my face bump into her arms as I did, and I flinched as a pain shot through my right eye and up my skull. My right eye burned as I felt it begin to well with tears, since it had been scraped by one of her nails.

Quickly looking around, I took in the dark night all around us.

My heart thumped a little loudly, but not in a quick rhythm. It remained steady, but… heavy.

Blinking, I tried to realize what had just happened. I tried to comprehend it. I tried to… understand how and why…

How had I been staring at a bright sky, gazing at Renn’s happy smirk as she complained to me… and then the next hear nothing but the wheels of the cart, and the bugs in the night?

“Vim…? Are you okay? What happened?” Renn asked worriedly as the donkey slowed to a stop. She was pulling on the reins, but not on purpose. She was holding them close to her chest, and looking around.

She too felt as I did. As if something was amiss, and she needed to be on guard.

But…

She had reason for it. I didn’t.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and went to rubbing my eye. The one stinging something fierce.

As I touched it, I realized it was wet. And not just because of tears.

Pulling my hand away, I glared at the familiar gleam of blood. It was oddly clear in the moonlight.

“Vim…? Is that blood? Are you hurt? What happened…?” Renn inched closer, worriedly reaching out for me. She sounded almost desperate.

“I’m fine… I’m sorry, I uh…” I coughed as I realized exactly what happened.

Nothing had startled me.

No smell. No noise. No presence.

We were alone. As much as one could be in the desert… with a donkey a few feet away.

No… the issue, the only issue, was instead something much more serious. More drastic.

More dangerous than if I had awoken to us surrounded by Monarchs.

“I’d fallen asleep,” I admitted.

Renn stopped drawing closer. She was nearly crawling towards me, with her hands on the seat of the wagon’s driver bench. She made an odd noise at me, and then scoffed. “Vim? What!” she obviously hadn’t believed what I had just said.

Which was understandable.

I couldn’t believe it either.

Coughing, I sat up a little straighter. A little more naturally. I had been on edge upon sitting up earlier…

Grabbing a sleeve, I went to wiping my face. I could feel the blood starting to drip down the side of my face.

“Vim what… you really are bleeding? Why? What happened?” Renn drew close, and I had to shy away a little as she reached over to grab at my face. At where I was pushing my sleeve up against.

“I cut my eye. Sorry,” I said quickly, to stop her from questioning it.

I didn’t want her to know it had been her nail that had done it.

“Your eye? You cut it?” she asked worriedly, and I wanted to kick myself. She had sounded genuinely bothered. As if she couldn’t believe it.

“How long had I been asleep?” I asked, hoping to change her attention.

“Vim what’d you cut your eye on…? You’d been sleeping! On my lap!” she didn’t let me. She stood a little, making the cart wobble as she drew closer.

I sighed, and lowered my arm and sleeve as to let her look. I’d not be able to get out of it now.

Damn me.

Not only had I actually fallen asleep, I was now going to make her upset with herself.

She’d never let her nails get long again. Which was too bad. I kind of liked how they got a little pointy. Even if I was the one who had bought that damned set for her to keep them short and filed…

“What the heck…! Vim, you’re bleeding really badly!” she touched the side of my face, worriedly. I could feel the apprehension in her touch, and see it on her face. She looked as if she was about to cry.

“It’s fine,” I said, and I glanced away from her worried eyes. To the sky beyond her.

The moon was at its zenith. In this region, during this season, that meant the night was only a few hours from being finished. The air would begin to grow cold. Much colder. Then it’d get hot again as the sun rose.

“Geez Vim…” Renn groaned as she wiped the side of my eye and face off with her hand. I was going to pull myself away, so she’d not get herself bloody, but I knew if I did she might just stab me in the other eye.

“There’s a shirt in my bag,” I suggested.

“Ah… right. Is it going to be okay? It looks like you actually punctured your eye. There’s even white stuff in the blood,” she asked.

Oddly although worried, she didn’t sound too panicked.

Maybe she was finally learning that I was beyond the realm of normalcy.

“Yes. Eyes heal very fast. There’re few things that heal as fast, honestly,” I said.

She glanced at me oddly, and then wiped her now bloody hand on the side of the bench. Near my legs.

After she did so she sighed as she went to pushing aside the flap of the wagon’s canopy. It didn’t take her long to find my bag, open it, and pull out one of the shirts. Even in the dark she made it easy.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she held returned her attention to my face. Seemed I wasn’t going to be allowed to treat myself.

“For letting me sleep…? I forgive you. But next time please wake me… at least before it gets dark,” I said gently.

She paused, right as she went to tug apart the shirt. To rip it into piece. I tilted my head at her, and she sighed at me.

“I’m sorry for poking you in the eye Vim,” she then said.

Ah…

Shifting a little, I nodded as she tore the shirt. I took a piece she tore, and wiped off what little blood still remained and was leaking out. It didn’t feel as mushy this time, as I rubbed the eye.

Yes. Healing already.

“Want some water?” she then said.

“Not yet,” I said.

Once I finished, I let Renn wrap the bandage around my head. She did so a little awkwardly, but I didn’t complain.

Nor did I mention she really didn’t need to do this. I hadn’t wanted the shirt for an actual bandage… but rather just to wipe the blood. So as to not become a bloody stained mess, for when we eventually reached the capital.

“It’s my fault. I was resting my hands on you. I should have known this would happen,” she mumbled.

Resting on me? Ah… likely because she still held the reins. I had lain on her lap in a rather inconvenient way for her, hadn’t I?

“It’s fine Renn. It’s my fault for sitting up so quickly,” I said.

“It is! Why’d you startle like that? I’ve been messing with you face for hours, you didn’t seem to mind,” she asked as she finally finished wrapping my head… and then sat back and admired her handiwork.

“Messing with my face?” I asked worriedly. What had she been doing to me?

She smirked at me. “Your eye will heal, right?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yes. By midday I’ll be able to see out of it,” I said.

Usually. Now that I focused a little, I could feel the throbbing of a lost organ. She hadn’t just cut it… she had actually punctured it. Tore most of it out, by the feel of it too. That meant I’d have chunks of eye falling out for a few hours, as it detached and re-grew.

It might be a few days before I could actually see out of it. I’d be able to see blurry shapes by tomorrow and colors, but little else.

“I’m so sorry Vim. I knew they were long. I’ve been neglecting them. They even got in the way back at Secca, while I was working. I’m sorry,” Renn apologized, and I didn’t like the way her eyebrows were so shaky. She looked as if she was about to start sobbing.

“It’s fine Renn. Really. It’s about time you drew blood anyway,” I said.

Her wobbling eyebrows shot upward, and then she burst out into a happy laugh.

Smiling at her as she reached over and grabbed my forearm, as to shake and squeeze it happily… I relished in her joy.

She really was beautiful.

Glancing around, I made sure once again we were fine.

We were. I even was able to figure out where we were. Not far from us was one of the giant stone monoliths. The one that looked like an old dead tree stump. The first monolith on our path.

“Wow… you did good. We’re still on the right path,” I praised Renn.

“What…? Vim please, this is the only path. I’ve not had to take a turn once,” she took my compliment and tossed it away like I did my eye.

I nodded, since I knew that already. “Still. Did you ever stop to let the beast rest?” I asked. Although hardy, these donkeys still needed to drink and eat.

“Yes. I even fed it and gave it a drink several times. You’re a heavy sleeper when you want to be Vim, you never even noticed me crawling out from under you,” she said.

Oh…?

I shifted a little as I realized what that meant.

She giggled, and then went crawled behind us and into the wagon. I ignored her rummaging as she grabbed one of the few water canteens we had. She popped the canteen open, and poured a little on her hand. The one she had gotten bloody. She used one of the remaining pieces of the torn shirt to wipe her hand, and then offered it to me.

I took it, but there wasn't much a need for one. “Want me to wipe you?” she asked.

“It'll be bleeding for awhile. No point until it stops,” I said.

She stared at me for a moment as I too used the wet cloth to wipe my hands.

Once she realized I had been serious, she sighed and put the water canteen back. Renn then went to grab the reins again. She had dropped them in the commotion.

So… not only had I slept through her stopping the cart, and messing with the donkey… but she had also returned to the cart… and put me back on her lap?

“I will say though, it’s a little weird how you don’t even really move. Your eye doesn’t twitch, you don’t snore, and your breathing and heartbeat remain… the same. Somehow,” Renn said as she picked up the reins, and then went to hand them to me.

I hesitated a moment, and wondered if I should instead jump off the cart and run away. The ocean wasn’t far from here. Just over that pass to our right. A few miles away.

Renn tilted her head at me, smiling happily. That smile was more dangerous than her nails.

Taking the reins, I sighed. “You want to know what the weirdest part about sleeping like that is?” I asked her.

“Hm?”

“Waking up from such a long slumber, and not needing to piss like a racehorse. A part of me is glad I don’t feel such a thing anymore, but at the same time not feeling it makes me… uneasy. As if something’s wrong, and I don’t know what it is,” I said.

Renn hesitated as I flipped the reins. To put the donkey back on track.

It huffed loudly, likely tired, but I didn’t care. We weren’t far from the Nation of Stone. Or the little oasis I usually stopped at along the way. The donkey could rest once we got there.

Plus it wasn’t as if it hadn’t gotten rest, per Renn’s words, and…

We weren’t really traveling quickly either.

“You do relieve yourself though…” Renn mumbled as she studied me.

“I do. Just not as often as I used to. How’re you feeling Renn? Hungry yet?” I asked her, to get her off her train of thought. Not only was it silly, it was dangerous. I didn’t need her to start noticing those things just yet.

“Huh…? Oh… not really. I’ve been snacking,” she pointed behind us. I followed her finger, and the nail which I knew was the one that had just been inside my eyeball, to the wagon’s canopy. Or rather, the small slit opening which hid a bag.

The bag of dried meat that the camels had given Renn. Not long before we showed up they had killed a pig. One of the bigger ones. They had been kind enough to gift her a large portion of the meat. Her payment for weeks of labor. Alongside that meat were bananas. Two whole bushels.

In fact she did smell of those bananas. I had noticed them on her breath when she had been messing with my bandage.

I chuckled at her. “I have no idea how you can eat so much of them without getting sick,” I said.

“It is starting to lose its tastiness,” she admitted softly.

Well… that’s good. Maybe...?

“Tired?” I asked.

“Hm? Not really. I’ve just been sitting. We had a weird little dog thing follow us for a short time, but other than that it’s been quiet,” she said.

Dog thing. Maybe a coyote or something. Nothing that would try its hand at us, or rather Renn… or a donkey even more so. If anything it had likely just been following her as she ate. Lured by the smell, and the hope that she’d toss it some food.

Knowing Renn she might have.

Especially if she’d been bored out of her mind. Without anyone to talk to.

Since her only companion had been lazily asleep. On her lap. Without a care in the world.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“Hm? For?” she didn’t seem to notice, or care… but I did.

I’d make it up to her.

Then Renn scooted closer. Suddenly the world became a little warmer, as she leaned against me.

“You were tired, Vim,” she said.

I wanted to shift. Not just to move my arm, which she was oddly leaning a little too much onto, but also my whole self. But even if I did, there wasn’t much room left on the bench.

Plus she’d not be happy with me if I did.

But… the reason I had wanted to move away, wasn’t because I didn’t like her touch. Nor because of its implication.

Rather… because I didn’t want to answer her question.

“Exhausted? We could have spent longer at the Dye Houses, Vim. I’d not have minded. It was fun working with Riz and the rest,” Renn continued the conversation, even though I hadn’t answered her first question yet.

She was growing… far too used to me. She had noticed I hadn’t answered, yet hadn’t let it even phase her. She even leaned closer.

“Do you dream, Vim?” she then asked me. Once again realizing the question she had asked before had not been one I wanted to answer, and so as such changed it. Happily.

It didn’t bother her at all that I’d ignore her in such a way. Even though it should.

Even though it did me.

“Yes,” I said. Nightmares usually.

Renn grinned, and scooted even closer. Any closer and she’d be sitting on my lap.

“Did you have a dream just now?” she asked.

I blinked, and wondered if I did or not.

Had I?

“I did,” I said as I vaguely remembered it. “Islands. I dreamt of islands,” I told her.

I missed those islands. I wonder if they even still existed or not.

“Islands… which ones? Where?” Renn further delved herself into that which was me. It was rather concerning how… I didn’t seem too upset or worried over it.

“A long time ago I spent time on some islands. In the distant sea. There's a chain of them right before the sea turns into ice. Although near the ice… they were actually nice. Warm. Pretty. Quiet,” I told her.

“Huh… Why were you there?” she asked.

“To be alone.”

One of my answers finally bothered her. Which was funny… I’d have thought one of the silent ones had done the deed first.

She shifted a little, and I felt her tail wiggle in-between us. It was squished between our thighs. Why’d she not pull it free? Or make it lay the other way, around her side instead of against me? Didn’t it being squeezed in such a way hurt it? It hadn’t been that long ago she’d have yelped out in pain just by someone looking at it wrong.

I was very glad it had healed enough for her to not care or notice, but it meant she'd once again start letting it touch and lay on me in weird ways. Ways I couldn't help but notice, and see not just the tail but the emotions within it as it wiggled and swayed.

A bit of the shirt wrapped around my head shifted. Some blood had started to leak out of my eye socket again. The blood seeping into the makeshift bandage was weighing it down.

Taking a small breath, I decided it was better to talk about what had happened rather than the past.

“I can’t rest,” I said.

Renn paused, since she had been about to ask something else. About the islands. About my past.

“Yes you can Vim,” she said gently.

I shook my head. “No. Especially not at our people’s homes. And not in that way,” I said.

Renn was silent as I pointed at my face. At the eye that still bled. Or rather, was now being expelled. My body was rejecting it, as to start forming a new one.

“It’s one thing to rest and heal from terrible wounds. Since then they’ll see those wounds heal. They’ll see limbs re-grow. They’ll see holes fill, and burns fade. It reinforces the belief that I’m suitable. That I’m what I say I am... It's another thing entirely to sleep just to sleep,” I told her.

“So if you become exhausted without any visible wounds, they’ll question it. They’ll question if you’re still able to protect them,” Renn’s quick mind didn’t hesitate to make quick work of my meaning.

I nodded. “I know it sounds ridiculous Renn… but…”

She shook her head. Her long hair danced along both our shoulders. “No, Vim. I get it. I do.”

For a tiny moment I wondered at her. Not in disbelief… but admiration.

She really did, didn’t she?

Renn smiled at me, but in a way that made me feel bad. That smile looked painful for her, as if she was the one with a punctured eye and not me. “I understand Vim. I do. I also want you to know it’s very lovely you’d be willing to sleep on my lap, after telling me that you’re not comfortable with sleeping elsewhere. It means a lot to me,” she said.

I was about to tell her I had originally not planned to fall asleep at all. At all. But…

That somewhat sad smile became a proud one. Beaming at me, as if she’d just been told she was the loveliest woman in the world. And had believed it, for once.

“I shouldn’t be tired,” I said softly as I looked away from her. To the dark stone monolith in the distance. It’d not be long now and Renn would be able to see it. She probably could right now, if she’d only take a moment to look away from me.

“Yet… you are? And why is that so strange Vim? We all get tired,” she asked.

“Not me,” I whispered.

When had it begun? For some reason I didn’t think it was Lumen. Even though that should have been the source. I had actually endured a lot of damage there. I had been punctured by teeth and sliced deep by barbs. I had inhaled toxic fumes. I had been crushed.

But for all that damage… it wasn’t the healing that had tired me out. It was something else.

“You’ve been sleeping a lot more lately. I’ve noticed it. Though… honestly I was hoping it was just because you’d gotten used to me. Not that there was actually something wrong with you,” Renn said with concern.

“I am more comfortable with you Renn. Even if you still refuse to see it. Look at what you’re doing, you’re nearly on my lap,” I said to her.

She giggled. “Not yet I’m not,” she teased me.

Thankfully she didn’t actually prove such a thing, but after her few giggles she went quiet… then nodded. As if happy. Suddenly content.

“It’s a fine line isn’t it? You let many of our members touch you in many ways. But you don’t get affectionate. The hugs and touching aren’t too personal,” she said softly.

“I used to not let anyone touch me,” I said.

Renn’s ears fluttered as she perked up. “What? Really?”

I nodded. “In the beginning. I let the children touch me, of course… but beyond that I did my best to not become too… touchy feely,” I said.

“Touchy feely,” she teased my choice of wording, and then her hand fell upon my thigh.

Glancing down at it, I was glad she didn’t do anything weird with it. She was just trying to tease me.

My eye twitched. The one that was still in one piece. Then I turned and noticed she was staring intently at me.

Then she lifted her hand, and looked away. Even in the dark of the night I could see her face growing several shades deeper in color.

“Why do you even try when you can’t follow through?” I asked her with a chuckle.

“Shush! I know… jeez,” she complained as she lowered her head. Her face got hidden by her long hair, except when a small breeze blew past.

Smiling at her, I realized I didn’t need to worry too much just yet.

If she got so embarrassed so easily, I didn’t need to worry about making a mistake any time soon. I had a little bit of time, at least.

Though how much time? Women became very bold. Very confident… very quickly. Sometimes too quickly.

I sighed as I wondered who’d break first. Her or me.

“I usually do get tired. After I get hurt. Especially when I sustain a lot of damage quickly. But… this is more than just the damage I sustained in Lumen. To be honest I think I had been getting tired even before that. I remember a few moments before… like at the Cathedral, where I noticed I felt strangely tired,” I spoke aloud, to not only distract the both of us from what had potentially almost happened… but also to let Renn calm down a little.

She soaked up my words, using them like a sponge against her blushing face. She returned to normal, and hummed as she cupped her chin with a finger. “So… you get tired when hurt, but this degree isn’t normal for you? What is normal?” she asked.

“I usually sleep a little more. I can usually expect me wanting to sleep almost every night for a week or two, after healing completely. But it’s been months now,” I said.

“Is it maybe because… you haven’t slept enough? Every night for a couple weeks is a lot. For you. I bet you’ve only gotten a few days worth of sleep since we left Lumen, Vim. Your naps are short, and not often,” she said.

“Maybe…” I said, and hoped that I could agree with her theory.

Please let it just be that.

“Want to… stop somewhere? Before we reach the Nation of Stone? We can spend a few days somewhere if you want,” she offered.

“Don’t tempt me Renn. I’ll be fine. The Queen is usually an easy stop. She usually has a few requests for me, but they’re easily handled. I’m normally there and gone within a week,” I said.

“Hm… but…”

I shook my head. “If I’m still tired after this stop… we can talk about it. But I’ll likely be fine. The nap I just had might have handled it, anyway,” I said.

Honestly it should have. I had likely slept almost ten hours…

I’d not slept that long in one go in years. Decades even.

Reaching up to dig out a piece of flesh that had started to seep and slide beneath the bandage, I grabbed it and tossed it aside. I ignored Renn’s odd look as I wiped my now bloody hand on my shirt. It was already ruined anyway.

The issue though was my only other spare shirt was now on my head. Or rather, pieces of it was.

“You can lay down, Renn,” I said to her.

She startled. Her back went straighter, and her tail became stiff. It was trying to curl around me for some reason.

“You noticed?” she asked sheepishly.

Glancing at her, I resisted the urge to kiss that mischievous smirk on her face.

“I promise not to mess with your face as you sleep. I’m not weird like that,” I said.

Her smirk grew into a wry smile. “Oh please! You might regret not doing so, you know? Do you know how many people would give anything to touch these lips?” she asked as she started to lay down. Unlike me she was small enough; thin enough, that she could easily lay on her side on this bench.

Lips…? Is that what she had been messing with? Why my lips of all things?

“I don’t know. How many?” I asked her as she went to putting her head on my lap.

As she shifted around… she eventually came to a complete stop. Going still.

Looking down, I frowned at that weird look on her face… then I realized what I had said.

Oh.

Woops.

Right…

“This is where you say only one that matters, Renn,” I said to her.

She blinked a few times, and then her ears fluttered as she laughed. Such a thing felt odd on my lap, and made me smile.

“Well, I guess an eye for a heart is a fair trade, I guess,” she mumbled as her laughing turned into giggles.

Sitting back, I patted Renn’s head as she stared at up me. I made sure to do so with the hand that wasn't bloody. She didn’t look ready or willing to sleep at all, based off that happy smirk.

It was a good thing she was here. The desert night was actually a little cold.

And she was warm. And not just physically either.

“Give me some compliments, Vim,” she then whispered.

“Hm?”

“I gave you complaints as you fell asleep. So it’s only fair.”

Was it…?

I smirked, and decided instead to tell her a bed-time story.

One of the past. Of my past.

I had meant to tell her a boring moment. One to lull her to sleep. It instead kept her awake until the sun rose from behind the far off monoliths.

My fault for telling her about when I had met Celine and Lilly. I had originally meant to just tell her of those islands. Of the peace I had found there... and the eventual loneliness that had followed. I should have chosen something else instead.

Oh well.