Chapter Two Hundred and Sixteen – Vim – A Camel’s Eye
Fival was a quiet boy. His eyes were vivid, telling me his mind was vibrant… yet he hadn’t said a word since I had started on the new basin for the vat dye.
I was almost done with the basin, and although I’d been teaching the young boy the entire time… it was a little worrying he wasn’t even asking questions.
Though that might just be because Renn was asking enough for the both of them.
“You’re saying little creatures are in there?” Renn asked again, staring into another basin vat a few feet away. Since the basin I was working on was almost done, and nearly ready to be put to use, I had been teaching her… and Fival and his sister Riz, the inner-workings of the tool. Namely about the bacteria they used here to convert the dye into a soluble product.
“There is. They… basically eat and expel tiny little pieces of the dye. Making it go from something we can’t use on wool and yarn, to something we can,” I said again.
It was so hard to say this stuff. Not just because they weren’t really capable of understanding the chemical process… but because of who was listening.
Riz and Fival listening wasn’t a big deal. They didn’t really need, or care, to know the whole underlying process. They only needed to know how to do it properly, and that it worked. They didn’t care about the science behind it.
Renn on the other hand…
“Vim, there’s nothing but sludge in there,” Renn said as she looked away from the vat.
“I know Renn. As I said. They’re tiny. Not visible to the naked eye. Not even ours,” I said.
“Imagine them as tiny little mites, Renn! Like fleas!” Riz tried to get Renn over the fact in her own way.
“Fleas…” Renn groaned as she leaned away from the vat, as if it was now poisonous to touch.
Fival leaned forward as I bent the final layer on the top of the vat basin’s opening. The metal sheet was thin, and I was curling it around the lip. Using my thumb, I bent the metal and curled it inward; forcing it into a shape that would ensure it’d never separate even after years of use.
I noted the way Fival focused on my handiwork. He was quiet, but perceptive. He was noticing how I was creating a seamless juncture between the metals, allowing me to add several layers of thin metal without needing nails or rivets.
“So… do you need to feed them though? You said you don’t open those for months at a time?” Renn asked as she glanced at the other vat basins. The ones that were sealed.
“We add yarn and water, that’s it,” Riz said.
I nodded. “The micro-organisms feed off the… well, not the wool and stuff, but the chemical reaction between the wool and the solution. Imagine when you add spices or another liquid to a bubbling pot of broth, Renn. Sometimes it froths up right?” I tried to explain to Renn, as well as I could.
“So they eat the byproduct,” Renn said.
“Well,” I stopped, and blinked. Looking away from the metal I was messing with, I turned to nod at Renn. “Well, yes.”
So she did understand. Amazing.
Renn hummed as she stepped over to us. She leaned between Riz and her brother, to get a closer look at what I was doing.
“What are you doing now?” she asked.
“The layer of metal I’m forcing around the lid opening will let them secure it without letting pressure out. The lids get pushed inward, being too big for the opening, and so they slide into the basin itself and seal into it by size alone without needing clamps,” I explained.
“Then how do you get them out?” Renn asked.
“We break them. With a hammer,” Riz said.
Renn frowned, and I waited for the obvious next question… and oddly, it didn’t come.
She remained quiet as I finished up, and slowly spun the large basin around as to make sure the lid lip I had just made was smooth and finished.
It was.
“Fival, get the indigo. Riz, the bacteria,” I said as I stood from my little stool and lifted the basin.
Taking the basin over to the open end on the racks, next to the others, I carefully put the steel basin into place. It wobbled a little as I got it into position, and pushed the little wooden bars around its bottom as to better situate it in place.
The camels quickly stepped over to me, each carrying their perspective ingredients. I stepped aside as to let them go to work.
Although young, they’d been doing this since birth… so didn’t need me to teach or show them how to do it. Riz poured the small bucket of bacteria in carefully, then hurried away to get another bucket of water. Salt water.
“Indigo dye goes last. If you do it first, the bacteria dies,” Fival spoke up for the first time in awhile, and did so to teach Renn. He gestured with the block of blue to her as he spoke.
Renn smiled. “Why would it die?” she asked.
“The dye alone is poisonous. It’s actually poisonous to us too, to a point. When we pour it in a little bit of steam and stuff will come out, make sure to not breathe it in,” I warned her.
Fival nodded as his sister returned, and went to pouring the salt water into the basin.
“Want to do it?” Fival asked Renn, holding out the block.
“Can I?” Renn asked, yet stepped forward and took it before anyone could say otherwise.
We watched Renn study the block of indigo first, frowning at it, then she stepped over to the basin and glanced into the thing… and after obviously not seeing anything, she simply dropped the indigo into the basin.
Once she did she had to quickly step away, as a plum of blue smoke flew up out of the basin.
Renn swatted the air away as Riz laughed at her. Fival smirked, but didn’t make a sound as he went to bend down and pick up one of the lids.
Since Renn was still stepping away, and mumbling complaints, Fival went to pushing the lid into the basin. He had to really lean into it, and push with all his might, but he was able to get the thing to slide in and pop into place.
“And done. We’ll open it again in two months, to stir it,” Riz said.
“Why go thru such lengths? Wasn’t it already really blue?” Renn asked.
“It was. But it won’t properly attach to anything. It’ll just… seep out, if you try to add it to wool or anything right now,” Riz explained.
I’d offer to show Renn what they meant, but I knew they’d get upset with me. It took them months to make even a small block of dye. Wasting it like that would just be an insult.
“Hm…” Renn hummed as Riz walked over to a shelf. One that had a few dozen smaller pots on it. After clanking around with them for a moment, she returned with a large brush that was coated in blue paint. The same blue color that the indigo would eventually become.
“Want to mark it?” Riz offered the task to Renn, who accepted it without hesitation.
Renn went over, knelt before the basin, and went to writing upon it with the brush. She wrote the word blue upon it, then went and drew a small image next to it.
“What’s that?” Fival asked.
“The symbol of the guild up north,” Riz said.
“Ah…” Fival studied it for a moment, and I wondered if he had been that young when I had last been here. He had seen the symbol before, during that visit, hadn’t he?
Maybe he had been younger than I remembered.
“Add the date, too,” Fiz said.
“Oh… I don’t know it.”
As Fiz guided Renn on how to properly mark the basin, by marking it not with today’s date but rather the date when they needed to open it, I glanced around at the rows of basins.
There were three. One alongside each wall, and then another in the center of the room. The bigger pots were in the center, since they would have stuck out too much along the walls.
Renn finished quickly as I stepped over to one of the larger basins. It was nearly twice as big as the one I had just crafted for the camels and it had an upcoming date marked on it, and was written with red.
Tapping the basin lightly, I wondered how long ago I had made this one. Years ago, decades even… but honestly, how long ago?
This family has been making dyes since Mordo was a young boy. His parents were the ones to settle down and begin the process, but they hadn’t lived to see the fruit of their labor. They had died before the first batch of snails had matured enough to be used.
Hundreds of years, at least.
I frowned as I thought of it. Were they one of the oldest families? Maybe not the oldest in terms of age, but definitely one of the oldest families in the Society. Especially so when one took into account their task.
They, like the armadillos, were what originally had funded our Society and its people. Its ventures. There had been a few other things before that, which Celine had formed, but they hadn’t been reliable or long lasting.
“Jeez Renn…!” I turned to watch Riz step away, giggling away as she wiped her face. Renn had brushed her cheek with the paint.
Fival stood a little awkwardly watching the two as Riz laughed and Renn put the brush away.
Riz and Fival weren’t full-blooded camels. Their father was a horse.
That meant once they had children, if they took another step away… well…
The camels would be gone, soon.
It wasn’t by any fault of their own. And who could blame Celine for choosing Lial. He was a good man… but he himself had been a half-breed. Although luckily he had inherited his mother’s lifespan, at least.
Yet the mixture of bloods would mean the eventual dilution of the non-human aspects of it.
Riz and Fival would live longer than humans… but their children won’t. Even if they were born with the help of another non-human.
Many families over the years have fallen in such a way. Losing their non-human traits and slowly becoming… lesser. It didn’t mean their purpose in the Society would disappear immediately, but it meant it would be inevitable.
Same with the Armadillo’s daughter. The one who had married the human boy.
“I do have a request, Vim.”
I turned my attention to the young boy, and realized he had likely been standing next to me for awhile now. I had been lost in thought.
“Hm?” I nodded as I ignored Renn and Riz. They were now on the other side of the room, whispering about something near a box.
“I’d like to learn how to put ink into skin. As Grandfather Mordo has,” Fival requested.
Oh…? “Tattoos? I do not mind, but Mordo should…” I stopped talking as I realized that Mordo might have denied his request, or…
Fival shifted and glanced away, to the other side of the building. Riz and Renn were still lost in their conversation.
Ah. I see. “I understand. Mother said no?” I asked as I got the gist of it.
Fival’s placid expression turned into a tiny frown. “My father,” he mumbled.
“Really…? What was his reasoning?” I asked.
“He feels it’d make me less likely to find a wife,” Fival explained.
A wife… “What kind of tattoo do you want, Fival?” I asked him.
“None in particular. I just… want to be like Grandfather Mordo, eventually,” Fival said.
I nodded, understanding. Mordo’s tattoos weren’t very visible anymore, thanks to how… rough and thin his skin had become. But they were still there. Still visible.
Lial likely worried if Fival covered his body in those intricate little designs, he’d be seen as something unusual. Too unusual for a woman to overlook.
Funny since if one traveled just a few months to the east, you’d encounter a land where it’d be weird to not have such tattoos as the one Fival wanted.
“Does Mordo know?” I asked.
“He told me to ask you,” he said with a nod.
So Mordo had simply not wanted to get into an argument with his daughter’s husband.
“Mother?” I asked.
“She does, but I don’t know if she approves or not,” Fival said with a shrug.
I doubted she'd say no, but I’ll need to ask all the same.
“I’ll teach you Fival. You have a few pigs don’t you?” I asked.
“Pigs…? Yes. Five of them,” he nodded and frowned at me.
“We’ll practice on them. Before I leave I promise you’ll know enough to tattoo as you wish, but I’ll not tattoo you… I…” I stopped talking as I realized something.
Looking over, I found Renn and Riz staring at us. From across the row of basins.
“Rather, maybe Renn should. She’s very artistic, much more than I am,” I said.
“Huh?” Renn perked up, her ears twitching as if a fly had buzzed into one.
“She did write on that basin very cleanly,” Riz nodded.
Fival shifted, and I could tell by his quiet stare at Renn that he wasn’t sure about this.
Reaching over, I patted the young man on the shoulder. “We’ll start tomorrow,” I said.
He blinked at me… and then after a moment nodded. Unsure of himself, but not to the point that he’d complain.
“Do you want any Riz?” I asked.
“Would Brom complain if I did?” she asked back.
I flinched, and Renn’s happy expression immediately died.
Before I could say anything, to… change or divert the conversation, Riz turned and saw Renn’s face.
“What the heck?” Riz stepped back at the sight of it, and looked around… expecting something to be wrong.
Renn turned to me, and was about to say something but couldn’t find the words.
Celine was going to be furious with me.
Funny. She hadn’t been named after the Celine from all those years ago, but she was definitely going to end up hating me for a similar reason.
Fate was cruel sometimes.
“Renn…?” Even the quiet Fival said something, also bothered by her look.
Renn’s face furrowed, and then she looked down. To her feet… and closed her eyes as she groaned.
She had realized it that quickly. Likely thanks to the fact I had asked her earlier to not say anything. She had put one and two together, instantly.
She really was too smart for her own good.
“Fival… why don’t you go show Renn the blocks?” I turned a little to beg the boy for a tiny favor.
Fival frowned at me, but didn’t say anything.
“Why…? Why Vim? Vim? What happened? What’s happening?” Riz was now fully aware that something was wrong. Something horrible… and it wasn’t just because Renn was crying.
“Please. Let me and Riz have a moment alone,” I asked the boy again, and Renn indirectly.
“Vim…!” Riz shouted at me, stepping up towards the basin that separated us. She grabbed onto the lip of the basin, as if she was about to clamber over it.
Glancing at Renn, I noted the way she glanced at Riz. The pained expression on her face made it clear… that wasn’t just sorrow and disappointment.
That was regret. That was blame.
She was internally hating herself.
“Renn, please,” I asked her directly this time.
Renn looked to me, and I held firm as her watery eyes bore into me. They looked as if she was pleading with me. Begging with her entire soul.
“Renn…?” Riz turned, and I noted the emotion in her voice. She was about to start crying too.
Had she realized it? Maybe even if instinctively…?
I sighed and stepped away from Fival. Since neither he nor Renn seemed to be willing to oblige me at the moment… I decided to just accept that they’d be here to witness the poor girl’s heart break.
Thanks to the size of the basins nearby, I had to walk a bit until I found one I could walk in-between. I wasn’t going to jump over them or anything… not because I couldn’t, but because the extra few moments of rounding the basins gave me time to prepare myself.
This was my fault. In more ways than one.
But it had been inevitable. Even if it hadn’t happened this way… Riz still would have asked. It was actually very shocking it had taken this long. Renn and I had been here for three days already. For Riz to not have asked me about Brom at all by now was weird.
Riz stood up straighter as I approached her. Renn stood behind her, and was holding her stomach… as if suddenly sick. Likely was.
The young camel glared at me with watery eyes. Her right cheek was twitching a little oddly, as if she was trying to decide between snarling and smiling.
Nodding down to her, I decided to just say it.
“A tragedy happened in Lumen, Riz,” I said to her.
Riz’s jaw clenched and a single tear slid out from her right eye.
“Vim…” Renn groaned, but I ignored her.
“During the chaos, the man you treasured… Brom… He perished,” I said.
Riz’s pupils went wide. Unlike a humans that were circular, hers were more oblong. A trait from her mixed blood. Their widening was more at the top and bottom than the sides. Nearly the opposite in shape and form than Renn’s.
I nodded again. “I am sorry. Brom is dead.”
Fival stepped up to the basin, grabbing the lip as to pull himself up a little. To see better. The look on his face told me he was as shocked as Riz.
“But…” Riz found her voice, but it was distant. Quiet. A whisper. She stepped back, and I reached out to slide an arm under hers as she went limp.
Holding her up, Riz clung to my arm, as she blinked and shook her head. She was acting as if she had just been stunned. Though, I suppose she was.
“I’m sorry, Riz,” I said again, a little softer than before.
“But Vim…!” Riz shouted at me as she looked up, her eyes blinking wildly at me. They were starting to really leak now.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
Riz’s face scrunched up, and then she turned. Just enough to look behind her. At the woman who somehow looked even more distraught than she did.
“Really…?” Riz asked Renn. The pleading tone in her voice hurt to hear.
Renn sobbed as she nodded.
“Riz…?” Fival asked softly, sounding worried… and before Riz could turn to look at him, she began to sob.
Kneeling down, I slowly lowered the young girl to her knees. She still clung to my arms, but she had lost all strength in her legs. It didn’t take long for her to start curling up into a tiny ball on the floor, sobbing loudly.
“Sis…” Fival squeezed through one of the basins. In a spot I hadn’t been able to fit through earlier. He knelt down next to his sister, putting his hand on her back… but she didn’t seem to register it. She just kept sobbing, heaving and weeping.
Patting her back as well, I sighed and resigned myself to my fate. I’ll likely be sitting on this floor for hours now.
Glancing upward, at the woman who was blaming herself for all of this… I studied the expression on her face.
She was staring at Riz as if she was witnessing something world-ending in seriousness. She had a look of terror mixed in with sorrow and regret. She was clinging to herself, her arms coiling around her stomach and chest as if she was about to haunch over and throw-up. She looked…
Well…
She looked the same way she did when I had found her back in Lumen. Sitting before that pile of rubble. Before Brom’s corpse.
I knew I should have just told Riz right away.
News like this when not shared right away… only caused more harm than good.
Sighing softly as Fival bent down to hug his sister, who was still curled up and clinging to my arm, I wondered if their mother would hear us before she stopped.
We were a few buildings away from the main house… but…
A mother’s hearing never failed them when it came to the cries of their babies.
Fival clung to his sister, resting his head on her back as he held her. He stared up at me with worried and unsure eyes. The boy had to obviously know of Riz’s fascination with Brom… but that didn’t mean he understood it. Or maybe he did.
His eyes weren’t like his sisters. His were more like Mordo’s. Elongated, like Renn’s, just sideways instead.
It wasn’t too rare for the children to inherit different traits in such a way. But it was rare for the son to inherit the mother’s bloodline more than the father’s. At least for our kind. Humans were sometimes the opposite.
What eyes had the other boy inherited? The one now gone.
Why couldn’t I remember his brother’s eyes? Had they been like his, or like Riz’s?
Riz sobbed even louder as she shifted. A pair of tiny hands wrapped themselves into my own, and I realized she had shifted a little more than I thought.
Holding her hands with my own, I reached over to pat her on the back again. Fival shifted a little as to give me room to do so, since her back wasn’t really that big in the first place, and suddenly another hand joined my own.
“I’m sorry…”
Looking at Renn, who had whispered with the tiniest voice ever, as she too patted the poor girl’s back… I hoped she didn’t tell Riz the truth.
Riz did not need to know how or why Brom died. All it would do was torture her.
The three of us sat here, surrounded by the basins, engulfed in the scent of dyes… for what felt like hours.
Riz’s sobs slowly died. Renn’s tiny whispers, begging for forgiveness, became few and far in-between. Fival remained quiet the whole time, unbothered.
And I only kept hold of the young girl and her trembling hands.
Even when Celine, their mother, finally noticed and found us… the silence didn’t get broken.
She simply hurried over, and bent down next to her daughter. She said not a word. No one did. Yet Riz instinctually noticed her mother’s presence. With her appearance, the young girl switched positions. From curled up on the floor, to curled up onto her mother’s lap… and eventually into sleep.
Riz fell asleep quickly once in her mother’s embrace. Celine said not a word as she stood, lifting her daughter up off the ground. Without even glancing at me, or Renn, she stepped away… and left the basin building.
Fival sighed and stood after his mother left. He brushed his jeans off, and glanced at me.
“Brom was the scarred one?” he asked.
I nodded as I slowly stood, leaving Renn the only one left on the ground. “Yes. The meerkat.”
“I barely remember him,” Fival said honestly.
“You were young. You rode on his shoulders while we had been in town,” I said as I remembered it.
“Hm…” Fival shifted and glanced down at Renn. “You okay…?” he asked her.
“No,” Renn mumbled, and kept her head low. As if afraid to look up.
Fival glanced at me, and I could tell he was genuinely worried.
“She’ll be fine. As will your sister, Fival. Her heart will hurt and be… fragile for awhile, but she will be okay,” I said.
Fival nodded but I could tell by the way he did so that he didn’t entirely believe me. At least he was willing to try, or pretend to.
“Dinner’s going to be awkward,” Fival mumbled as he stepped away, leaving the building as well.
I sighed and agreed with him. Luckily I didn’t need to eat.
Glancing down at the ground, at Renn who still sat where she had knelt down next to the heartbroken Riz… I noticed the way her long hair not only hung all the way down to the ground, but even along it for a bit. It was time she cut some of it.
“You warned me,” she whispered.
“I did.” Many times in fact.
“Why didn’t you say anything…?” she asked and looked up at me.
I smiled down at her angry glare. That was far better than one of heartbroken sorrow.
“Because I knew you’d cry. As you’re doing now,” I said.
“But…!” she leaned forward, putting her hands down onto the ground as if to start crawling towards me. She didn’t though.
Shaking my head at her, I gestured to her. “You blame yourself. Unrightfully. I knew if I brought it up, you’d react like this. And might even go to her and tell her, before I did, and possibly even say it was your fault,” I explained.
“But Vim…!”
“No buts. You can blame yourself. We’ve talked about this before. You have the right to. But it’s wrong. You’re not the Societies protector, Renn. I am. It’s not your duty to save or protect our people. It’s mine. Not yours.”
Renn’s face scrunched up and she finally looked away from me, but just to shake her head a few times. Her glare quickly returned, and this time she stood up alongside it.
“We should have done that better. That poor girl…!” she said.
“Yes. But it happened. There’s nothing we can do about it now,” I agreed, but made it clear there was no point dwelling on it.
“That shouldn’t have happened like that,” she argued.
I sighed and nodded. I agreed, but as I had said…
Renn groaned as she wiped her face. “She loved him?” she asked.
“Yes. I… hadn’t known either. Her mother told me, after I updated them with what had happened.”
“Did Brom even know…? He never even mentioned her,” she said as she sniffed.
“If he did, he didn’t put much stock into it. In fact I remember him being… a little odd around her. Bothered. But he was older than her Renn, by quite a few decades too,” I reminded her.
“Ah… right…” she nodded, and I wondered if she remembered the conversations we had with Herra not too long ago, concerning the same thing.
Yet even if Brom hadn't known, or hadn't returned her feelings... it didn't change the fact that Riz's heart was now broken.
Renn sniffed as she wiped her face again. As she did I noted the way her lips clung to her teeth. Was she not drinking enough water…? Or had the long hours of crying and whispering apologies dried out her mouth? They didn’t look cracked or anything… I'll make sure she drinks water more often from now on.
“What can I do for her, Vim? What can I say?” she asked me.
I blinked and stopped focusing on her lips. “Just… be her friend, Renn. Be there for her. Be gentle, but not so gentle it becomes awkward. And don’t tell her the details, even if she asks. In my experience, people never really want to know the true details. The knowledge hurts them more than not,” I warned.
She nodded. “Okay…”
“And I don’t know what else to do or say, Renn… I’ve had to relay such information countless times before… and it never gets easy. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever done it at the right time, or in the right way,” I admitted. Was there even a right way to do it?
“Mhm… you did fine, Vim. You spoke gently, and were there for her. You would have even held her, wouldn’t you have?” she asked.
Well… yes. That was the plan. She had curled up into a ball instead though…
Instead of saying anything I simply shrugged and nodded.
“I’m the one who failed. She only realized because of me. Because I was shocked. Then all I could do was cry alongside her…” Renn groaned and went to wiping her face again. Surely she wasn’t going to start crying again?
Renn sniffed and I realized she was indeed shedding a few more tears.
A predator. Crying not because of pain but because of emotions. Because she felt for Riz. Because she blamed herself, and regretted the past and all its sorrows.
Although I’ve long known Renn was emotional, it was still… weird to see it so blatantly obvious.
When was the last time I had seen a pure-blooded predator weep so… openly? So purely? Especially so for the suffering of those other than themselves?
My mind raced for a moment, and I had to stop pondering it as I realized I honestly couldn’t remember any.
A few wept. A few broke. Many did so in anger, not sorrow… yet… No. I couldn’t think of any like her. Not to the same degree.
Surely there had been others? More than just Renn?
There were a few who came to mind, but they weren’t true predators like her. There were those like Merit, or Brandy, but…
Renn sighed as she finished again, and sniffed. After a few blinks of the watery eyes she actually smiled at me, as if happy to have cried.
Happy. Over tears.
She was better suited to this than I was.
When was the last time I had actually wept alongside one of our members…? When was the last time I had so openly shared in such emotion?
I had, and did still, feel bad... but I was a far way from crying because of what just happened. I tried so hard to be understanding and gentle, yet the truth was visibly obvious. I was callous.
“Next time you hold them as they cry,” I said as I stepped around her, as to leave the building. If she was going to prove herself to be so efficient at it then… why not let her handle it? If anything maybe the Society would be better for it. Maybe Riz would have preferred to be held by her than me, for example.
Though maybe not. Would Renn’s heart survive such a thing? Maybe a few times… but…
I tried to think of the hundreds of people I’ve had to tell bad news. Or the hundreds who had given me similar news themselves.
Could Renn endure? She seemed to be doing somewhat fine… even if she sobbed and broke, she wasn’t doing anywhere near as bad as I had expected.
She was already back on her feet, after all. Maybe it was her predator side. Letting her be gentle enough to cry but firm enough as to not break entirely.
Maybe she could do it without becoming cold-hearted. Maybe she could do this while retaining her humanity, and not become someone like me.
“I accept, though… I really don’t want to even think about this happening again,” she mumbled behind me.
“It will,” I said.
Regrettably. It will.