The Misadventures of a Terrestrial Anomaly

As Greg stepped out of the barn Charlie stared through the holes in the roof. She held her arm up and put the mug in front of face to see if the rune lit up again. When it didn’t, she sighed and put her arm down.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m not a big fan of needles. Especially when there’s a dirty, drunk wielding them,” She clenched her fists, “I also know it’s going to hurt, so that doesn’t help.”

“I can stand at your side, if you’d like.”

“Yes, please.”

Lake moved to the side of the table and placed his hands on the surface. She instinctually reached for him but hesitated as she touched him.

“Do you want to hold my hand?”

“If… if that’s okay,” She whispered.

Lake slid his fingers between hers. She wiggled against the webbing but held his hand firmly. The squishiness under the scales reminded her of frog skin. She gently squeezed his hand to get his attention.

He worried about the panic in her eyes, “There is no reason to be scared. He’s not going to kill you.”

“I’m worried I might’ve upset you.”

“Now you’re worried about that?” He laughed, “Not calling me a pervert?”

“You were being a pervert,” She snorted, “But… I saw your face when I told him my name.”

“I will admit it was odd you openly gave your name to him,” He sighed.

"He introduced himself, you never did."

Lake frowned but couldn't argue with her on that. He decided to joke around instead.

“Perhaps you think the man is less likely to place this fae curse you’re worried about.”

Charlie squeezed his hand lightly at his joke. He smiled softly and squeezed her hand back. When Greg walked back into the barn chugging a bottle of booze, she winced. He sat at the table and handed her the bottle of clear liquid. Charlie brought it to her lips and took mouthfuls until she couldn’t taste it. She then splashed some on her stomach before she handed it back to him.

“Why’d you waste that?” He grunted.

“It’ll help clean it,” She clenched Lake’s hand and looked up, “Give me a minute before you – shit!”

The blacksmith didn’t hesitate to pierce her skin with the needle. She was unprepared for how roughly he intended to sew her up. A string of curses left her before the alcohol kicked in to numb the pain. She tightened her grip on Lake’s hand, and he didn’t as much flinch.

“That looks like it hurts,” Lake grimaced.

“It fucking does, you asshole!” Charlie yelled before she kicked her leg out when the needle pierced her again, “Goddamn it!”

“I hope my lands are not cursed after this,” Greg chuckled as he tied a knot on the loop he worked on, “Or my brothers will never be able to grow crops again.”

"You couldn't in that unkempt - motherfucker!" She growled.

“He’s almost done,” Lake reassured her.

Charlie wormed away from him as he sewed her stomach. Greg pinned her down with one hand as the other pierced the needle through her again.

“Fuck me!” She barked somewhere between a scream and a groan, "Goddammit that hurts! Can you at least be gentle?"

“Very ladylike,” The burly man laughed and looked to the god, “I bet she’s a fun one, huh?”

“More booze,” She demanded, “So much more. This hurts worse than getting it did.”

“That’s because it’s getting infected and you threw alcohol on it,” Greg grunted, “Quit squirming. I’m almost done.”

Charlie realized the doctors in the wild west had it down. If they couldn’t numb the area, then it made so much since to make their patients high as a kite. She never missed healthcare, or morphine in particular, as much.

“This part’s going to hurt.”

“And the rest of this has been fun?” She growled.

Lake grabbed her face to focus her attention on him. She dug her fingernails into his hand. He brought her hand to his lips and whispered something her pain laced brain couldn’t comprehend. The sharp pain dulled, and she ripped her hand away from him.

Your companion has gifted you additional resistance to piercing damage.

“You could do that the whole time!? Why did you wait until now?”

“What are you talking about?” His eyebrows raised, “I didn’t do anything.”

“Don’t bullshit me,” She growled.

“I honestly have no idea what you—”

“Done!” Greg patted his stitch work.

She flinched, “Motherfu—”

Charlie swiped the alcohol and filled her mouth with the taste of paint thinner. She kept drinking until she couldn’t taste it. Then after a deep breath, she drank until the bottle was empty.

“Damn, woman. You drank me dry.”

“More.”

“What do you mean more? I made that myself!”

“It was shitty. Add juice next time to cut the bitter taste,” She threw the bottle over her shoulder.

It clinked against the barn wall. The blacksmith and Lake stared at her in bewilderment as she tucked her shirt back into her pants.

“What will that do?” Greg crossed his arms indignantly.

“Make it taste less like chemicals and more like something any decent person could tolerate,” She burped and tied the bow on her belt.

“You seemed to like it just fine,."

“I said decent person,” Charlie swiped her hat from Lake’s head, “You’ve got maybe half an hour before I’m asleep in a ditch.”

“Pack up what I paid for and get us that horse,” He ordered, “We need to get her to a healer.”

“You’ll need a cart to carry all that weight,” The blacksmith mumbled, “I need to fix the wheel on mine if you intend to use it.”

“How long will that take you?”

“Few hours?” He sneered, “It’s nearly sunset. Might be best to wait until morning. It’s that or leave the gold here.”

“Wait, all that’s yours?” She looked at the stack of gold bars.

“It’s from that metal thing I killed,” He waved nonchalantly, “I’m bringing it with us.”

The stack of gold came up to her knee. She tried to pick up one of the bars and nearly dropped it from the unexpected weight.

“L! I thought you said you were going to sell fish?” She playfully shoved him, “Not get filthy rich.”

“It won’t help if you can’t get anywhere with it,” Greg grunted, “Are you good to wait until the morning?”

Lake looked at Charlie inspecting the stack of gold bars. He motioned for the blacksmith to follow him as they walked away from the barn.

“Do you have somewhere for her to sleep?”

“I can always make a bed in the barn for you,” His eyebrow raised, “What’s the little lady got against you, Lake? I’ve never known you to bring one around here, especially that feisty.”

“I’m not sure,” He looked back towards the forge to see Charlie fanning herself with her hat, “She’s different.”

“She’s about to be piss drunk. I brought my strong stuff,” He laughed, “How long has it been since you’ve seen a drunk woman?”

She found a log and threw it into the forge. When the flames grew, she hollered in excitement.

“I’d ask you not to sleep with her in my barn, but I know for a fact that wouldn’t stop you,” Greg shrugged, "She won't live if you flash your true aura, you know?"

"Farmer," He said sternly, "Watch your tongue."

Though the blacksmith's voice was teasing, he knew that there was nothing he could do if he was on the god's bad side. Because he was still breathing, he went further.

"You gods are always into that," He waved a hand, "Just be gentle enough that I don’t have to restitch her. That wound is gross. She needs a proper healer or she won't make it. If you're just planning to take her out that way, do that somewhere else."

“I accidently killed a woman once,” Lake frowned, “I cleaned up the mess.”

“I had to bury what was left of her.”

“Charlie is not interested in it,” He huffed almost childishly.

“Not interested?” Greg barked in laughter and slapped a hand on the god’s back, “Are you nervous? Not used to rejection?”

“I would drown you if I didn’t need that cart.”

The two men watched Charlie find anything remotely flammable and throw it into the fire in a ritualistic dance around the barn to find wood. As her movements became increasingly stumbly, the blacksmith sighed.

“What’s the deal with her, Lake? You know I don’t care, but… she seems like a decent woman. If you plan on breaking her, just leave her here for me,” He winked, “I’d take care of her. She’d make a good wife, I reckon. Pretty enough.”

“Do you like her?” The god chuckled, “Maybe you’re more her type.”

“Don’t tempt me,” The blacksmith grinned.

Charlie looked over at the two men. Their arms were crossed, but they spoke like old friends. She pulled her hat off and waved at them. The buzz of booze filled her veins and lifted her dull spirits.

“Guys! Come on!” She laughed, “Why are you both out there? The fire’s warm over here.”

Her genuine smile and laughter almost magically drew them closer. She jumped on top of the table and reached towards the water god. He grabbed her hand, and she hoisted him up with her.

“Watch out! You’ll break the poor thing,” The blacksmith laughed.

“Loosen up, Greg!” Charlie reached a hand towards him, “Come dance with us!”

“Dancing on tables?” He laughed, “I’ve never heard of something so silly. There’s not even any music.”

“You don’t need music to dance,” She twirled.

“I’m a big man,” He shook his head, “I’ll stay down here to catch you when you fall.”

Charlie held her hands to her chest and twirled. Her feet found the edge of the table. She dramatically leaned back and fell into his arms in a weird, drunken trust fall. She giggled as Greg let her feet touch the ground and she climbed back onto the table.

“You’ll let him do that after knowing him for an hour tops?” Lake rolled his eyes.

“I’m sure he’d catch you too!”

She lightly pushed him towards the edge of the small table. He grabbed her wrist to use her to counterweight his momentum. He held her close, so she didn’t push him off the table.

After she playfully tugged herself away, Lake hopped off. He reached up to help her down, but she giggled and fell over to the other side. Greg quickly caught her again as she belly laughed. Her face was already red from laughing and smiling so much.

“How are you this drunk already?” The blacksmith spun her around.

“I haven’t eaten anything in like three days,” She played with her hair, “Do you have food?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were hungry?” Lake glared at them.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” She said in a singsong voice, “I already owe you enough.”

“Owe him what exactly?” He set her on the ground.

“I don’t know,” She sashayed towards the god and spoke with a smirk, “He told me he’d come up with something later.”

“Hush, now, Charlie,” Lake whispered in her ear, “You’re really drunk.”

“I only had a bunch of moonshine,” She giggled, “I could go for a pizza right now, though. Oh! Or nachos.”

“What are those?” Greg crossed his arms.

As Charlie explained the intricacies of pizza, Lake kept his arm around her to keep her near him in her drunken state. Her words quickly slurred into each other the more she spoke. Eventually, her head was on his shoulder as she rubbed his arm. He wasn’t sure why he enjoyed it.

Before when he met a woman he was interest in, he just had sex with her and sent her away with a small blessing. With Charlie, he wanted her to keep touching him. Maybe she was a goddess of the same name. He convinced himself that this was the power she had over other people.

“L!” She giggled, “My hat matches your hair.”

She pushed her hat onto his head and grinned.

“You know, it matches your hair too,” Greg laughed.

Lake pushed the rim up so he could see her face. She quickly kissed his cheek and he blushed.

“I didn’t know you could blush,” She teased, “It’s cute.”

Lake stuttered to say something as his mind wrapped around the quick transformation into the flirtatious monster in front of him. She intertwined her fingers in his with one hand and the other ran through his pale turquoise hair. He looked into her drunken hazel gaze and wondered what the hell was going on. Charlie normally detested anything close to romantic.

“There’s food in the main house,” Greg said as she leaned closer to the god.

“Yay!” She clapped and jumped towards him.

“I don’t have pizza, but I have bread, cheese, and jam,” He grinned and held out his arm, “Come on. I’ll walk you.”

“Okay!” She gripped his arm, “Oh, you’re strong.”

She ran a hand up his arm flirtatiously. He gripped her hand and held it.

“And, you’re very pretty.”

“Aw,” She giggled, “You’re just saying that.”

“I would nearly claim you the goddess of beauty if Lust wouldn’t smite me,” Greg brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, “I’m glad he brought you by. It almost feels like fate.”

Lake furiously followed behind them as Greg openly flirted with her. Charlie swirled her dyed hair around her fingers as he opened the doors to his ramshackle house. The barn that held his forge where he spent most of his time was a haven compared to where he slept. The meager residence made the blacksmith almost embarrassed to host the brightly cheerful woman.

“It might not be much, but it’s what I got.”

“Nonsense! This is better than half of the apartments I lived in while I was in college,” She plopped into a nearby chair.

“You went to college?” Lake asked, “What did you study?”

“I spent a fair bit studying history. It fascinated me,” She sighed, “I dropped out before I finished.”

“A shame to end something you enjoy,” Greg sat on the couch next to her and wrapped his arm around her, “Hopefully you enjoy your travels just as much?”

“It’s been an adventure, for sure,” She tried to scoot away from him.

The black smith pulled her back against him. She squeaked in surprise but tried not to do anything too quickly for fear of how he would react.

“Um,” Charlie giggled uncomfortably, “Where’s the food at?”

“Is that something you need right now?” He smirked, “Because I’m just getting comfortable."

“I think so. Sorry!”

He grumbled and walked into the other room. She stood and moved next to Lake. He gave her a questioning look. She shook her head quietly and waited for the blacksmith to return. He tossed her a bread roll and she bit into it greedily. She devoured it completely before she leaned her head on the god.

“Shouldn’t you get to work on the wheel?” He raised an eyebrow.

Greg frowned, “I think I’d like to stick around in case Charlie needs anything.”

“I can yell if I need you!” She grabbed an apple shaped fruit from the bowl he offered her, “I promise I won’t snoop around if that’s what you’re scared about.”

The god protectively pulled her against his side and glared at the man.

“Glad to see it worked,” The blacksmith winked, “I’ll be back, then.”

As the door shut behind him, Charlie physically shook for a moment. After she calmed herself, she took her hat back from Lake. He brushed the hair from her face and gazed into her eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“He wanted to make you jealous,” She whispered, “I’m not sure if it worked.”

“Me?” He blinked.

Charlie walked over to the broken window and looked out to the sky, “The stars are beautiful tonight.”

She grabbed his hand and dragged him outside. Yellow stars littered the black sky. Cosmic dust in blue and pink hues swirled behind the galaxies in the far distance. She laid in the tall grass and looked up in awe. Lake sat next to her and wondered what she searched for in the sky above them.

“What are you looking at?”

“I’m wondering how far away from home I am,” She sighed, “Olivia is probably worried sick about me. Hell, I probably already lost my apartment.”

Charlie crawled over and put her head in his lap. He looked up and wondered. She reached to swat the hat out of the way of her sky view. He impulsively grabbed her hand. She cackled and quickly flipped him over. The swiftness surprised Lake and he wasn’t prepared for her to pin him to the ground by sitting on him. He rested his hand at her hips and looked up at her.

“How drunk are you?”

“I could go for more,” She shyly whispered, “Why?”

He tossed her off of him. Her shriek turned into a cackle as they wrestled in the tall grass. Lake felt childish as they tossed each other around. After they tumbled down a small hill, he ended up on top of her. Their breath fogged in the chilly night air. He kept his weight off of her with one arm but felt drawn by how close they were to each other.

“How drunk are you?” He whispered.

“Why?” She bit her lip.

Lake wondered why she affected him like this. This was something he’d done before. He was an immortal god of water. He had laid with thousands of women in his four thousand years.

Yet, hovering over this woman made him incredibly anxious. He wondered if this is how all mortals felt or if it was just something Charlie could do to people. Even the blacksmith seemed entranced with her. He studied her intently as his own identification spell told him nothing, again. The only persons he couldn’t identify were stronger gods. The mystery intrigued him. Lake could identify Shaun, and he was just a child then.

This woman was an anomaly.

Charlie tucked her hair behind her as the handsome man lurked over her. She blushed and wondered what he was thinking about. Her intoxicated mind thought of some things she wanted him to think about. Lake breathed over her as she touched him softly.

He stuttered, “I—I want to do something.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” She sighed exaggeratedly, “I’ll do it.”

Charlie grabbed his face in her hands and smashed their lips together.