The Maknae Has to Be an Idol

Kim Gyoung-Jun was the name of the yellow-haired man who kept strolling around The Showcase’s shooting set while constantly playing with his phone. He turned thirty this year and though the first digit of his age turned to three this year, he was a jobless bloke who had never held a proper job.

After coming out of the military, he wasted the last five years preparing for the civil exam; he was twenty-seven years without achieving anything and began his listless days in the name of preparing for a job. Three more years passed after that until he was now thirty, and he came to this studio set for a part-time job.

‘Time is passing so slowly. Should I just make a run for it?’ he wondered. He applied for this job because he heard that it was a high-paying part-time job that took place indoors; yet he didn’t expect to be a simple handyman around the set. Just moving filming equipment, such as the tripod, was a tiring task and even though he was working indoors, the place wasn’t that warm either. Furthermore, because of how tense the general atmosphere was, he felt himself growing more tired easily. Yet, there was a reason why he was sticking to this job longer than the others.

—It’s so tiring work for a broadcasting show. Shit.

After writing posts that proved that he worked at a broadcasting station, he felt a small joy from seeing the reply comments. When he used to write just any random posts, he would only get trolls or no comments, but now that he posted some evidence along with his claims, he was getting more responses. It appeared that even if he was just doing a part-time job, he could attract attention by working at a broadcast station.

—Nobody forced you to take this job. Hahaha

—This is the job you chose to do. Grit it out.

—Did you see any celebrities?

He already got three comments on a post that he just made recently. Since it was obvious that he wouldn’t be able to continue working for a broadcasting show if he wrote about all the celebrities he saw, he couldn’t boast about every little thing but his fingers itched to do just that.

Then, he supposed that if he wrote a post called, ‘My thoughts after seeing Yours’ Kang Hyun-Sung in real life’ or ‘Saw Kang Hyun-Sung after he became a small-time idol haha’, he would get quite the views. But he couldn’t give up this whole part-time job for just that one thrill. He needed money for living expenses, and there was nothing more attention-grabbing than working at a broadcasting show.

“Mr. Gyong-Jun! I told you to bring the tripod!” It was then someone called him. It was probably the producing director. Gyong-Jun moved toward the producing director while holding the tripod. He set up the tripod for shooting and handed the director basic commodities. He felt it from his time working in this set, but working in a broadcasting show was just like any physical job. He needed to lift heavy objects, assist others, and needed to be careful on-site while surveilling his surroundings.

The only ones who made a lot of money were people with skills, like the producing director and the lights director, who were sitting in their seats right now. This place was not much different from working at a construction site. Yet, in a broadcasting station, there was a glitter and beauty that couldn’t be seen in other places. Gyong-Jun turned his gaze to the main studio set.

‘They really are fucking good-looking,’ Gyong-Jun thought. There was a cluster of good-looking guys on top of the studio set. Because the difference between them and him was so great, he didn’t even feel jealous or envious of them. He just thought they were annoying and couldn’t help but stare at them blankly.

Of course, there were some among this group who just looked like well-kept ordinary men too, but most of them were good-looking. Siren and Only One especially had members that even he had to admit were ridiculously handsome.

‘Kang Hyun-Sung is the real deal,’ he thought. The person that drew his most attention was, of course, Kang Hyun-Sung. In Select Your Idol, he had wondered why people liked someone who looked so girly like him, but he could understand it now. Perhaps, this was what others meant when they said someone oozed charisma and sensuality; there was a hint of masculinity in him, too, but regardless, it was an appearance that attracted people’s gazes.

‘And is that Siren’s Woo Yeon-Hoon?’ Gyong-Jun’s gaze turned to another person. Woo Yeon-Hoon was a member of a no-name idol group called Siren. If he had to decide who was the best looking among all the idols here, truthfully, it would be this guy. Yet, though Kang Hyun-Sung and Woo Yeon-Hoon were both good-looking, they didn’t feel very masculine. They simply looked like beautiful humans. The person who he thought was truly handsome in a masculine way was another person.

‘I think his name was Bong something.’ It was another guy in Siren. He couldn’t remember the name well, but he remembered his first name because of how unique he was.

‘Never seen another Bong except that director,’ Gyong-Jun thought. From an outsider’s perspective, the only groups who appeared like they would succeed at first glance were Siren and Only One—maybe Bleshu if he was being generous. The other two groups were…hmm…perhaps, they should think about new career paths since they were still young.

“Mr. Gyong-Jun, I told you to match the center when you set up the tripod with the leveler.”

“Ah, um, well, sorry. I will fix it,” he said.

“Haaa, it’s fine. I will just do it myself,” the producing director sighed and leveled the tripod. Gyong-Jun swore at the director inside his mind.

‘Fucking bastard. Why yell at me when you are going to do it?’ Then, he turned around. By this time, the hosts came out and were saying their lines.

“There’s a reason why we specially gathered The Showcase 2’s cast here today…”

“Today’s theme is ‘Work Hard, Play Hard!’….”

“They are going to show us how unified they are while playing games…”

The hosts filled up airtime with uncreative, cliche lines. Gyong-Jun looked at the two hosts. Comedian Kim Young-Jin looked just like he did on television, and the solo singer who used to be in a girl group, Na-Hyun looked a hundred times prettier in real life.

‘Wow, she’s seriously pretty.’ She had proportions only expected of celebrities. And though she was almost too thin, she looked beautiful despite that.

‘It’s unbelievable. Can’t I take a picture of her? Holy shit,’ Gyong-Jun thought and fumbled with his phone habitually. ‘No, I will be screwed if someone notices me. I should hold myself back.’

Gyong-Jun stopped himself. He thought he would get a crazy amount of views if he just took a picture of a well-known celebrity and posted it, but he probably would never be able to do a part-time job at a broadcasting show again.

‘But if there’s something that could really cause a big issue, it will be fun to post it,’ he thought. Though his greed and logic were still maintaining a balance of order, even he couldn’t guarantee what would happen if that order broke. Gyong-Jun caressed the phone in his pockets again.

***

While the producer assistant, Gyong-Jun fumbled with his phone, The Showcase 2’s mini-game special shooting officially began.

“The first game is…eating lemons quickly!”

The producers on site who heard the mission shook their heads after hearing the game. They had heard that the idol groups would be doing some strange games, but it was surprising that the first game was a lemon-eating contest. It was obvious everyone’s stomach was empty right now, so they wondered which evil mastermind came up with the idea.

“Okay! Who will go first? Ah, will the Sirens want to go?”

“Yes, since it was our leader who suggested the game, we want to take responsibility for it.”

“Tae-Yoon!”

“Haaa.”

“Lemons, seriously?”

Siren members raised their hands first and quickly ate the lemons. The producers thought the Sirens were not only good-looking but also hardworking. Yet, they didn’t expect much.

“Five of you need to come out and eat a total of five lemons. Each person can eat one, or one person can eat as many as they can. Please come out one by one and eat them!”

Though it was a difficult mission where they had to eat five raw lemons, Tae-Yoon stepped forward and announced. “I will go first and eat all five of them.”

“Hm?”

“What?”

“What’s with you?”

But regardless of how others reacted, Tae-Yoon began to quickly finish the lemons in the blink of an eye and ate the lemons like he was eating tangerines instead, making everyone exclaim in shock.

“Mr. Tae-Yoon, are you good at eating sour food?”

“No.”

“But your face is too calm.”

“These are very sour though.”

“No, but it doesn’t seem sour to you at all!”

“They are really sour though.”

“Don’t tell me that while grabbing another one!”

The slight twitching around the edges of his eyes and lips muscles showed that the lemons were truly sour.

“Tae-Yoon stop eating them!”

When Tae-Yoon ate two and a half lemons, Yeon-Hoon dragged Tae-Yoon away. Tae-Yoon made a short ‘Ah’ gasp and was pushed to the back.

“Ahhhhh!”

“Mr. Yeon-Hoon! Are you all right?”

“Aghhhh!” Yeon-Hoon began trembling after eating one slice of a lemon. He got up, rolled his feet, and tried to forcefully swallow the food down. Then, with teary eyes, he backed away after eating just one slice. The rest of the slices were handed to Do-Seung.

“What! This is! Umph!” Do-Seung also exclaimed and shoved a whole lemon in his mouth and swallowed it. It was up to Woon and Dong-Jun to eat the remaining one and a half.

“What. Ah, Shhhh. This is really sour. Hm.” It was funny how Woon sounded like he was calm and struggling at the same time.

“What! This is seriously sour! Where did you get this!” On the other hand, it was funny that Dong-Jun didn’t look like he was having any difficulties but only sounded like he was. In the end, the time it took all five members to eat the five lemons was:

“2 minutes and 10 seconds! Wow, that’s quite fast.” It was a good record that was hard to beat. After that, other teams also challenged the lemon-eating game.

“Only One—2 minutes and 30 seconds! Ah, so close~”

“Bleshu- 10 minutes! What took you guys so long!”

“One by One— 3 minutes; it’s a bit long.”

“Luminin 5 minutes! How regretful.”

No group managed to beat Siren’s record of 2 minutes and 10 seconds. It was Siren’s win in the first game. The second game was a classic in variety game shows: guessing the song by the melody. After listening to a very short excerpt of a song, they needed to guess what it was.

“Correct! Bong Tae-Yoon! Aro’s The One in the Sad Picture!”

“Correct! Bong Tae-Yoon! Kim Nam-Kyoug’s The Guy From the Pier!”

“Correct! Bong Tae-Yoon! Hyung-Jung’s Strange Time!”

Siren’s Bong Tae-Yoon dominated this game like a firecracker. These were all songs from the seventies and eighties but he managed to get them all. It appeared that there was someone that even the demon-like producing director couldn’t outwit, and the funny thing was how Tae-Yoon got the answers. He stood frozen in his spot when the game began and crazily spit out answers while not moving an inch.

That made him seem more like an answer-making robot and made the others laugh. After the game ended, Tae-Yoon seemed to have gotten a spell of dizziness and staggered, making people burst into laughter again.

“Sirens take the win again~!”

The third game was a food-eating contest, where each of the groups had to compete on who ate the most. In this one, a representative from each team came out to play.

“Bleshu, what happened? You eat like you haven’t eaten for days!”

Bleshu’s leader came out and seemed to film a whole mukbang video himself.

“I was a swimmer from middle school to high school, that’s why. Haha,” he answered. Swimmers were one of the athletes who were known to consume a great amount of food, so it wasn’t surprising that he was able to eat so much.

The team who did worst was Siren’s Woo Yeon-Hoon.

“Mr. Yeon-Hoon! You can’t rub your stomach after eating so little!”

“Huh? Ah, but this is really delicious!”

“No, you have to eat a lot rather than tasting the food!”

“Hahaha….”

Yeon-Hoon ate the food most deliciously but ate the least. It made people wonder why he came out for this game out of all the other members.

“Seems like they are just giving their leader a treat to eat.”

“Well, they only ate lemons on an empty stomach.”

Some people guessed from the Siren members’ expressions that they had just handed this game to the other groups to win.

“Bleshu takes the victory title in the third game! Now, let’s get onto the fourth game. After eating, it’s time to move a bit. Jumping over vaults!”

The fourth game was one that involved physicality. Since the first three games progressed without any problems, everyone expected that to be the case for the fourth game.

“Ahhhh!”

“No!”

“Grab it!”

“Noooo!”

But a game that should’ve felt like an all-boys physical education class flowed in a completely different direction.