LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 23: Lascivious Fantasies
Three days had passed since then.
(Why, that thing ……)
The day when Chinatsu was kissed by Masataka.
It was a rainy day. She invited Masataka home after he had covered for her and got wet all over.
She had to warm him up quickly so that he would not catch a cold. She was so focused on this thought that she did not know what it would mean to be alone with her boyfriend in a room. Chinatsu regretted that she had not thought it through.
(I, why …… I didn’t hate it. No, I closed my eyes because I wanted you to do it,… but I can’t believe I pleaded you to do it,…)
Just thinking about kissing Masataka made her body burn. She felt so hot that steam was coming out of her head and she couldn’t think straight.
Gently touching her lips, the sensation came back to her vividly.
“~~!”
Embarrassed. Chinatsu blushed so much that her face almost caught fire.
Chinatsu knew that she was not honest about her feelings.
She had learned this well through the case of her childhood friend Kentaro. The words she uttered out of embarrassment because she could not be honest. She knew that those words could hurt people.
That was why she wanted to be honest in front of Masataka. He was her beloved boy who was kind to her troublesome self and even called her “cute”. She didn’t want to hide her embarrassment in front of him.
“Chinatsu-chan ….”
“!?”
But when he called her name and approached her a little closer, she jumped away.
It was already in the realm of reflex. She really didn’t want to behave this way, but her body reacted on its own.
It’s not that she disliked it. She was not avoiding him. She wanted to tell him that, but the words got stuck in her throat, and she couldn’t speak.
I cannot go on like this. Driven by a sense of urgency, Chinatsu composed a message.
She wanted to be honest about her feelings for Masataka. Even though it was impossible to say it face to face, she thought she could convey it in text.
Yes, just honestly express your feelings. She repeatedly wrote and erased messages, even though that was what she wanted to do.
–I’m not avoiding you, Masa-kun.
As soon as she sent the message, Chinatsu regretted it.
It was so unintelligible. Sending a single word like this would only confuse Masataka. It was too convenient to think he would believe this one message even though she had been actively avoiding him.
“Mou…I am a fool…”
She banged on the bed, burying her face in the pillow. Chinatsu had no idea how to digest this feeling of shame.
“Really, I didn’t hate it. ……”
Every time she thought back to the moment when her lips were on his, her body would burn with embarrassment.
Not only that, Chinatsu was aware of the joy welling up from deep within her heart.
Lying on her back and tracing her lips.
The raw feeling of that time. And even Masataka’s expression and breathing were stuck in Chinatsu’s brain and won’t go away.
“Masa, kun …”
A sensation of tingling that showed no sign of abating. She couldn’t help but be conscious of his lips. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she felt restless, as if his face was much closer to hers.
It was no wonder, as Chinatsu had her first kiss with her first boyfriend right next to the bed where she was now lying down. There was no way she could calm down.
Her phone rang. Chinatsu checked the screen in a daze.
–I’m glad to hear that. Then, will you go on a date with me next time?’
It was a reply from Masataka.
He was neither angry nor dismayed. It wasn’t like she could even force down her uncontrollable heart.
He wanted to be with her, who was clearly avoiding him. It was as if he was telling her that he would never hate her for such a thing, and with just one message, Chinatsu’s heart lightened.
“Un. Thank you, Masa-kun.”
Although he was not here, she wanted to say thank you. She wrote her reply to the message more cheerfully than before.
The embarrassment was still there, but Chinatsu wanted to overcome it for Masataka’s sake.
*****
The day of the date.
Chinatsu got ready and left her house.
For a moment, she saw the house next door. It was the house of her childhood friend Kentaro.
She still had difficulty meeting Kentaro. Even in the classroom, She could not have a proper conversation with him. She didn’t dare to talk to him on a one-on-one basis.
The man She once had feelings for. Now she was afraid to even talk to him.
However, these feelings were slowly fading in Chinatsu’s mind, and her interest for Kentaro had shifted to someone else.
(Surely Kentaro…with Matsuyuki-san…does that, right?)
Even Chinatsu had always been interested in male-female relationships as much as anyone else.
She thought that one day she would kiss someone she liked, and if they got to know each other well enough, she was prepared to …. go beyond that, in her imagination.
Still, she had never been aware of boys’ bodies specifically.
That changed after Masataka kissed her.
(Like me and Masa-kun did, … they kissed, right. …)
It was a lascivious thought.
The sight of Kentaro and Ayano kissing passionately flashed through her mind, and a tremendous amount of passionate emotions coursed through Chinatsu’s entire body.
The feeling was neither envy nor hatred.
On the one hand, it was the person she had had feelings for since she was a child. Perhaps that was why they(emotions) sprung up with a strong sense of reality.
(I have to go.)
She could no longer remain a child. Chinatsu’s mind and body were no longer young.
She turned her eyes away from Kentaro’s house.
I can’t wait to meet Masa-kun. Calming her nervousness, she rushed to the rendezvous point.
Chinatsu’s fantasy was soon transformed into a scene of herself and Masataka passionately kissing.