The Lightbearer's Gift

On the road back to Vernon I spent most of my time exploring my new found strength and abilities. My natural elven traits seem to be exasperated by my increase in life Ether. Before, I could go days without sleep and not feel any ill effects. Though I could do this, I still enjoyed the pleasure of a few hours of rest if I was unoccupied. Now it was almost impossible for me to find any sleep. For a few days after my transformation, I rested rather easily. But after I recovered, sleep remained elusive.

It's been 5 days since I deemed myself fully recovered yet I haven't felt the slightest need for sleep. I couldn't even fall asleep after a day of intensive practice. As convenient as it was to be able to spend days at a time at full awareness. I would still like the embrace of sleep from time to time. I examined my brain using my abilities and found nothing out of the ordinary, its proportions slightly different than a human but still had the same recognizable parts. I would have to approach Lilian when next I see her to teach me about elven meditation.

Finally, I reached the city of Vernon. I had a few people to catch up with, firstly being the guard captain. I had one of the guards take me to him in his office. Upon seeing me he smiled brightly and said.

“Ah Moon, good to see you back from your trip.” He sounded oddly jovial today.

“Good to be back. What’s new in the city?.” I said it matching his mood.

“Nothing of note, the city is calm, trade is good, and the clinic is doing wonders. Ah I figure I should tell you this now.” A note of caution crept into the captain's voice.

“What is it?”

“Your name is being brought up amongst the nobility. No doubt there will be some offers made to you in the coming weeks. It will do you well to approach this with no small amount of caution.”

“Any names I should be aware of.”

“None as yet, it is simply in the air.”

“Well, if I get any offers, I'll be sure to run their names by you for approval.”

I wouldn't want my relationship with the guards to deteriorate after all. The captain seemed pleased by this response.

I continued to speak. “Regardless of their offer, I am under contract for the next 2 years and 9 months.”

“Every contract has a coin price in the breaking clause. I'm sure an opportune nobleman or woman would be more than willing to pay it.” He countered.

“In a few months I could pay the breakage clause myself. However, Sten had been fair and generous in his dealings with me. I am not inclined to insult him in such a way.”

The breakage clause was actually 400 Gelding payable to Sten if I broke the contract without any justification.

“Just so just so Moon; too many are willing to leap at the chance of quick coin at the expense of their honor.”

In reality he probably didn't want me far from his reach or influence. Deciding to change the topic I asked.

“How are things in the Red District after Gardenia’s takeover?”

“Ah yes Gardenia, she has taken quite a deft hand at controlling the brothels. Far better it be in the hands of her than that brute Lars. She controls her men and violence is at a minimum she has even aided in our efforts with her information. Many scoundrels have either found themselves behind bars or hung by a noose.”

“Good to see you two have things well in hand. And the clinic?”

“Also doing well there are a few patients I would have you see later if you are not weary from your travels.”

“I shall. the roads were easy.”

The horse I had rented was returned and I entered the clinic. It was a building about the size of an inn. There were average citizens and guards streaming in to get their wounds healed. Most were sitting in the waiting area; their ailments are likely not severe enough to be treated immediately. Quina was sitting at the front desk. She brightened at my approach.

“Good day to you Quinna, The Captain said you could use my abilities.”

“Ah Moon, so good to see you back.” She said with some warmth.

She went around the desks and wrapped me up in a hug. This was unexpected so I awkwardly returned it with only a single arm. She apparently noticed my unease, so she did a small back.

“My apologies, it's been rather hectic here and the patients have been piling up almost non-stop.”

“The captain said there were only a few people that needed my healing.”

“The captain thinks that your healing is only necessary when near death. Speeding up recovery and emptying beds is my priority. Do you see how many people are waiting?”

There were probably 30 people waiting.

“No beds are available?”

“Very few. And I'm sure that some of them are just here for the free food, Morah’s heart is too soft at times.”

“Are you losing coin with people using up beds?”

“No, a good number of merchants and noblemen have taken up the task of offsetting the cost. Any who can't pay usually just donate their time to us. Cleaning, sweeping, emptying bedpans we offer meals twice a day so some would rather pretend to be too ill to leave and wait for the food.”

That would decrease the throughput of the clinic.

“‘How about this, get me one of the nurses and I'll make my rounds to all the beds.”

“I was hoping you would say that,” She said with a large smile.

A young man in a white uniform brought me to each bed in order. She was right, there were at least 10 people whose condition wasn't severe enough to warrant a bed. Regardless I did some healing on everyone since I had enough power to spare. So most left in full health. There were a few conditions that needed my life Ether to heal. Like one woman with a torn ACL. That wasn't why she was here since the injury was years old. It took some doing but it was simple enough to regrow and properly tension the ligament so she could walk properly.

“Go ahead, try to take a step, “I said.

The guardswoman took a hesitant step with her right leg. Realized there was no pain and did a small hop.

“Oh, my It's like new. “She said with astonishment.

She was a woman of perhaps 30 with short brown hair and a strong build that told me she had been an active woman for most of her life. Light magic could heal many things, but it was limited in what the body could do on its own. Life ether could push beyond that and give me the ability to perform healing no light mage in the world could do regardless of their power. It was pretty easy to mask what I was really doing by casting a healing spell on the wound with one hand and channeling life ether into them with another.

I saw this as an excellent opportunity to increase my value to the guards even more.

“Thank you so much Moon, I had forgotten what it was like to walk without pain.”

“Think nothing of it, be sure to tell anyone with similar injuries that I can also heal them.”

She gave me a formal bow expressing deep gratitude.

For hours guard after guard came to the clinic desiring my healing for any number of things. I began to wonder if there were any among them that were actually healthy. Quina of course kept track of everything and the healing that didn't affect their performance as a guard we decided to charge a premium to reduce the influx of people.

Still, most of the day was spent healing guardsmen and their families of old injuries that my light magic could heal beyond natural healing. I'm sure I had a good stipend of gold coming from all this work. Finally, the clinic closed with only a skeleton staff for the few patients that needed bed rest.

The Life Ether wasn't like normal Ether. Unlike normal Ether the source was myself and not the primal Ether all around me. It was my very life. What I did today did not amount to a significant loss, but I noticed that I didn't actually recover back to my maximum. I could of course consume living creatures to refresh myself, but it was good to understand this limitation.

Deciding to catch up with Sten I headed back to the inn. It was dark out by now, so the streets were sparse, and many shops and stalls were closed for the day. I walked in and saw Aunt Nettie manning the front desk.

“Good evening, Aunt Nettie is Sten in.” The kindly old woman gave me a smile as she saw me approach.

“Ah yes he's busy at the moment, would you like some food in the meantime.”

She always took the opportunity to offer me food. Since according to her I was much too thin for a young man. Never mind that I was an elf.

“Yes, I'll take the usual in the dining area.” I gave her a little silver and entered the said area.

Sten was sitting with a woman I didn't recognize. Her hair was as dark as ink, and she wore a lovely green dress with gold embroidery. She seemed to be a noble woman, but her hands, neck and fingers bore no jewelry. It wasn't the woman's mature beauty that caught my attention but Sten. I've never seen the man look so meek. He poked his food with his fork, seeming to not be interested in eating it. The two sat in a corner away from prying ears. So even with my impressive hearing I couldn't make out what they were staying over the chatter of the rest of the people dining.

I didn't want to eavesdrop, so I sat in an empty seat far away from them. The conversation continued for some time until the woman got up to leave. She placed a hand on Sten’s shoulder almost as lovingly and muttered a few words to him. As she turned to leave, I noticed a thin scar no more than an inch long on her cheek. That slight imperfection on her skin somehow added to her charms.

Sten sat in silence for some time, his food entirely forgotten, Staring into nothingness. He eventually noticed me and gave me a small wave of acknowledgement. Shrugging, I decided to join him.

I took the same seat the woman left behind and said. “That looked like some conversation. Who was that.”

“My…………………wife.” Sten said as if the word ‘wife’ caused him pain.

That did not seem like a regular conversation with a man and wife. Even more so why did Sten live here and not with his wife. My confusion must have shown on my face.

“We haven't spoken to each other in years.”

“Why the separation?”

Sten didn't seem to want to answer. If he didn't want to, I would have no interest in prying, so I said.

“It's fine if you don't want to talk about it.” I said with a shrug.

Sten took a deep breath and let it out, seeming to contemplate then started.

“Noria, is the eldest daughter of a wealthy merchant family. She was in line to inherit her father’s fortune until she decide to marry a man, she didn't approve of namely me.”

“Why not you?”

“I am barely a member of the Nobility. But I knew her from when she was a girl, and I won her heart. She chose me over her family’s wealth.”

“What about your family?”

“I have some cousin running around but my mother died, rest her soul and my father is dead, curse his soul.” He nearly spat that last bit out.

“No love lost for your father is see.”

“No, he was a drunkard who took out his frustrations on my mother, I still remember the cuts and bruises on her face. I count the day he died as a blessing” Sten said looking off into nothing, probably looking into the past.

“Noria and I were friends, we grew up together and when we were adults, I asked her to marry me. Those were good years. We had two girls, Breanne, and Ella. They were gifts from Rickon himself.”

Sten took a drink from his glass that looked to have water instead of wine.

“I was conscripted into the army for some stupid war between dukes. It was bloody and took over 3 years to end. By that time, I returned home and I was a changed man.”

He looked at his hands as if imagining still saw his hands stained with blood.

“It's like part of me died when I took my first life, and something foul took its place. I took to drinking to drown the memories away. I returned home and I kept the habit.”

“Noria begged me to stop drinking but I refused. This went on for years and they suffered for it. I wasted coin, forgot name days and anniversaries. If I remember correctly, I usually show up drunk and stinking of alcohol.”

“One day I stumbled home drunk, and I found Noria packing. She had had enough and was going to live with her brother. We argued for over an hour then she told me I was becoming my father……………………….”

Sten paused as if he couldn't utter what came next.

“I………………. stuck her.” he seemed to force it out.

“The girls were apparently peeking through the bedroom door at our argument and screamed when I hit her.”

Sten sat in silence for over a minute before he continued.

“It was fear in my girl's eyes. My precious girls. I tried to reach down to help Noria, but she shielded her face as if to shield herself from any more blows that would land. That's when I saw the small stream of blood. My armor opened up a cut.”

“I remembered how I used to cower when my father hit my mother. She would tell me to stay in my room so that she would bear the brunt of his wrath. Now I have become the man I had hated for so long.”

“I left, too horrified by what I had done, what I had become. She still has a scar a form that strike.”

This just started to pour out of Sten as if there was some great dam of pain and guilt within himself that had finally burst open.

“My beloved Noria, why didn’t I listen? Why didn't I put down the bottle?” he said to himself in barely a whisper.

“The next day I sobered up and returned to the house, but they were gone. I went to Noria’s brother’s house and found the girls playing in the yard. As soon as I approached Ella, the youngest one ran away from me. When I tried to call out to them, they ran into the house. That's when Noria came out with her brother and his guards. I saw the dressing on her cheek and her black eye. I tried to apologize but my words meant little. She only uttered one word ‘Leave’.”

“I saw my girls hiding behind their mother and her brothers' guards looked ready to draw on me. It was then that I realized that I had lost them. Noria’s eyes showed no love and my girls only showed fear. I would only cause them more pain if I stayed so left. That was 15 years ago.”

“Not once in 15 years you have tried to reach out. “I asked.

“I send letters, but whether they read them or burn them I didn't know I've never gotten a response. I did see them once when they were leaving the city. My girls have grown into such beautiful women as proud, regal, and intelligent as their mother. The few friends I have tell me about them. Much of my coin I send to them only recently have they started using it.”

“Why did she come to see you now?”

“Our battle with the earth mage was the talk of the city and the amplifier the mage used was a large scandal. Our names have been brought up in court often. Often in regard to how lucky we were to survive battle with an earth mage that used an amplifier. Anyone with any sense knows that fighting a mage with an amplifier is suicide.”

“They apparently asked their mother if they could see me. Maybe they were worried I might die sometime soon. Noria wouldn't say.”

“When do you meet them?”

“Tomorrow at a restaurant in the upper city.”

“Have you thought of what to say when you see them?”

“I don't know Moon. What can I say? What apologies could I ever make? No words will ever wipe away my sins. No words will ever make me worthy of forgiveness. No words will erase the pain I've caused.” He almost sounded argumentative.

“I suppose it's up to them if you are worthy of forgiveness.”

I certainly wouldn't say what he should say. I have no memories or experiences that could help the man. Is a man who bloodies his wife in front of his children worthy of forgiveness from those same people? Perhaps not. I leave that answer to someone who actually has loved ones.

Sten finally seemed to calm down. “Maybe you're right, Moon.”

“I suppose I can only hope, Noria doesn’t seem to hate me anymore. Cold certainly but the hate is gone from her eyes. But enough of my drama Moon how was your excursion.”

Sten seemed to want to change the subject. I suppose there was only so much soul bearing a man could do in a day, so I opted to drop it.

“It was fruitful, and I saw a good amount of the barony, but it was largely boring. “I shrugged hoping he didn't start asking any questions.

“Well good to hear.” Sten said.

It didn't seem like he was actually paying attention. I couldn't really blame him for not caring about what he likely thinks is a boring trip.

“Any plans for another contract?” I asked.

“Yes, actually their word of a White drake carrying off livestock out west there's been a few sightings and it's only a matter of time before it goes after people.”

“What can you tell me about the White Drake?”

“Their basically tiny, less dangerous dragons though some can grow as large as a carriage.”

“How large can a dragon grow?”

“You could probably fit all of the Mistle under one wing.”

“What Mistle was at least 1000 paces across are you telling me a dragon's wingspan is over 2000 paces across. ‘I said incredulously how could a creature that size exist let alone fly. But then I remembered that can literally shoot lasers out of my palm so impossible is mostly a relative term.

“An average dragon's wingspan is 2000 paces and doesn't stop growing. But fortunately, no one has seen a dragon in centuries.”

“They all died or something.”

I've seen paintings of dragons, and many businesses often use images to make the room seem more dynamic. They always had the same physiology: two wings, 4 legs and a long tail. I couldn't even begin to understand how a hexapod could evolve but again magic tends to not make sense.

“No one knows, regardless a white drake is a dragon-like creature that uses air magic. It doesn't even have to be white. Its skin scales, bones and organs can fetch quite the price.”

“Have you decided to take it on?”

“Not yet a few companies are fighting for it. The drake has been seen as far west as Ruben. If a few companies die in the pursuit, I'm sure they would ask us personally to take care of it and we can dictate our price.”

Sten had a small smile on his face likely imagining how much coin he could earn. The man sure did have an unending lust for coins. Though I supposed I understand where some of that zeal comes from.

“Do you know where Lilian lives?”

Sten seemed to be rather surprised by that and asked.

“Why do you want to know? I thought you two didn't like each other.”

“Our relationship is complicated but there are a few things about elves I wanted to ask her about.”

Sten shrugged and said.

“She lives on the west end in an inn called Griffin's Rest. It's not hard to find.”

“I’ll call on her in a few days.”

“Ha good luck with that.”

Sten and I said our goodnights and bedded down for the night.

Three days later I made my way towards the west end. It was a more remote residential area of the city. It was neither wealthy nor poor but being so far from the hub of trade and commerce of the city made for a lower population. In the 3 days since I had my meeting with Sten, I had been splitting my time between the clinic and gardenia’s brothel. I didn't even have to pay for it anymore.

But no matter how much I exhausted myself through magical practice or physical exertion I couldn't quite fall asleep. For 8 days I have been awake and though I didn't notice any ill effects, I would love more than anything to rest my mind for a few hours. Garrett had told me that elves often meditate instead of sleeping. So, I came here in the hope that I could get Lilian to teach me this.

I stepped inside the inn. It was average in cleanliness and well maintained. A woman perhaps in her 40’s manned the front desk.

“Oh, what’s this now another one? “She seemed excited. I guess that more than confirmed that this was where Lilian lived.

“Pardon me madam, is there an elf here by the name of Lilian?”

“Yes, what do you want with her?”

“I am her comrade in the bronze spears, and I wish to speak to her.”

“Ah your Moon then. I’ve heard you're some powerful light mage.”

“I’m indeed Moon. Is Lilian in?”

“Right, BELLA” she yelled. A young woman came running out of a corner room and made a double take at me.

“Tell Lilian she has a gentleman caller?” She looked at me when she said gentleman as if to make sure of what I was.

I gave her a nod.

“Ok” the woman said, and she ran off.

Lilian came out a few minutes later. For the first time I saw her without armor. She wore a short green robe with intricate patterning that hugged her form quite well and green knee length pants bearing the same pattern. It was certainly not normal human clothing.

“Moon what are you doing here?” she asked full of confusion.

“I wished to speak to you about a few things.” I twitched my eyes towards the two women watching. She realized I would rather talk alone, she said.

“Come we will speak in my rooms.” Lilian said.

“Come now, Lilian, you have to at least make him work for it. I don't care how pretty he is,” The insinuation was clear. Surprisingly, Lilian didn't seem to mind. Usually, she couldn't stand humans.

“He is not my mate Clara, “she corrected.

“Perhaps it's time to make a move before another elf snatches him up then, “Bella said.

Both women seemed to be having fun at Lilians expense. But still, she didn't seem angered by it. Lilina sighed then said.

“Do not mind them.”

We entered Lilians room. The first thing I noticed was that there were plants everywhere. It was almost as if every surface that could hold a potted plant had one. It was certainly strange, but I only had humans to base normalcy on. There was no place to sit other than her small bed. So, with a gesture we both sat on the edge.

“What did you wish to speak to me about? “She said. Her eyes were unreadable.

“I have been having trouble sleeping of late. Garett mentioned that some elves meditate instead of sleep.”

“How long have you gone without sleep?”

“Only 4 days I can usually catch a few hours a day but now I find it difficult.” I lied about how long I had actually been awake, unsure if I told her, it had been a week she would find cause for suspicion.

“It is usually taught to children as soon as they learn to speak. How could you have such vast knowledge and lack something as simple as this.”

“Your guess is as good as mine Lilian. I ask again,Can you teach this to me?”

She gave me an inscrutable look and then said,

“Yes, I will teach you.”

“Take off your boots and sit as I do.”

Lilian removed her sandals, and I removed my boots. We sat cross legged on the bed facing each other. Lilian loosed her robe grabbed my hand and placed it on her heart. Could feel the steady beating of heart and the warmth of her skin.

“May I?” she said.

I gave her a nod and she unbuttons a few of my buttons and placed her hand on my own heart. It was an oddly intimate gesture, but she seemed to do this without so much as a second thought. Another elven quirk is supposed.

“We meditate by cycling ether through our body, synchronizing with our breathing.”

She took a deep slow breath, and I followed her example.

“Continue to cycle the ether in and out and lose yourself to the process.” for several minutes I continued to do as she said slowly her heartbeat began to drop. Slowing to the point that it only beats once every few seconds. Her breathing slowed as well, and I could barely perceive the movement of her chest. I would have loved to examine what was happening in her body to achieve this, but I didn't want to risk her detecting it.

10 minutes later her heart began to increase, and she opened her eyes. It was almost as if she went into a state of torpor.

“Not you try.” It seemed like it took several minutes for her to recover from the conduction.

For at least 20 minutes I sat in almost perfect silence with Lilian, hand in each other's hearts. I tried matching her breathing and flow of ether exactly. And eventually began to lose myself in the process. In and out over and over I cycled to Ether. Eventually the process became unconscious. My hand fell from her chest. A small part of my mind was vaguely aware of her arranging my hand in my lap.

I sank deeper into this process and the world started to fade away. I had only the slightest awareness of myself. It was as if I was in that area between wake and sleep. Where with just the smallest push you could simply decide to wake up. My mind was largely in a haze. Thoughts were slippery and it was far too much effort to focus on them.

I decided to let them fall away. As I embraced this completely, I emptied my mind. It was bliss, no thoughts, no worries, no plans, no existential crisis of my own existence to bother me. Only my breathing and the Ether. Some far part of my mind could tell that Lilian was examining me. She even flicked my ear as if to break me from this state. Not caring in the least about what she was doing, I ignored her examination. She eventually settled down and returned to her own meditation.

We must have sat there for hours in silence simply sitting. I was content to stay in that state forever, so I was happy to have some peace, but a gentle rusting of my arm made me realize that Lilian had finished her meditation. Wishing myself to wake up, it took around 15 minutes before my mind cleared and I regained control of my limbs. I glanced around the room to notice it was almost night. It must have been at least 6 hours.

“Ahhh that was wonderful. "I said as I stretched. I actually felt like I had a night's sleep. Lilian had an almost sad smile as she said.

“It is quite relaxing but do be careful. It is a far deeper state than sleeping. Stay for too long and you will lose yourself. To the point that not even a stab wound could wake you.”

“Good to know. It didn't even feel like so much time had passed.” I said, glancing out of the window.

“It helps when you are doing it with friends and family. When in close proximity the ether will flow from me to you and you to me rhythmically enhancing the depth of the meditation.”

I got up and started to lace my boots. “I must thank you; this means more to me than you could know. Well good day Lilian I suppose I'll see you at our next Company meeting.”

She looked like she wanted to ask me something before I left then stopped herself. I did wonder what she wanted to say but dropped it. I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten an answer. After I finished preparing to leave, I reflected on how relaxing it was. On a whim I asked.

“Would you be willing to do this again? Perhaps you can teach me some more things about elves.”

She practically beamed, showing most of her teeth before she quickly regained control of herself.

“Yes, I would be willing, “she said in a neutral tone.

I left a short time later after arranging dates to meditate together. She seemed oddly excited about it. Perhaps meditating with other elves is a large part of their culture and failed to realize the significance. I still don't know why she can't return home but depending on how long she has been gone she probably hasn't done this with another elf in a while.

“Didn't know elves go at so long it’s been most of the day.” The same woman was manning the front desk said.

“Nothing of the sort happened, just a long conversation, “I said, not wanting to explain that we were meditating.

With I sigh the woman said. “That girl really is hopeless. Don't worry dear, I'll talk to her.”

I gave her a wave as I left not wanting to continue this conversation. Lilian was certainly attractive, and her elven traits were certainly something I wound mind exploring but I knew little about elven culture. And unlike with humans there is a real risk I could get her pregnant. Something tells me that Lilian wouldn't take preventative measures if she decided she wanted to sleep with me. For now, I would have to keep that door closed.