The Impeccable Adventure of the Reluctant Dungeon

Viskar sat on the golden throne, admiring the mountain of treasure in front of him. The value of the raw materials alone was more than the average count could amass in a lifetime. If the history and artisanal value was taken into consideration, the haul was fit for a king. And the best part of all—this was only the beginning. In a matter of years, the treasures would double, then triple.

As deputy leader of the Claw Hook gang, Viskar owned a quarter of everything in front of his eyes. If he played his cards right, soon he might get to own three quarters instead. It had been years since the leader had gone off across the continent on a quest of his own. Details were scarce, but rumors were that the land he was currently plundering was far richer than any in the area. Viskar wasn’t sure that he believed in that, and ultimately, it didn’t matter. He had used his position to go through the treasure, which is when he found them: magical items hidden among the trinkets. There were dimensional rings, gems that sensed living creatures, candles that opened locked doors, and many other pieces of equipment that were ideal for robbing nobles and well-off individuals. Given the condition of the chests the items were in, they had probably been there for decades, snatched from some wealthy merchant, no doubt. That was the problem with the leader—as strong as he was, he lacked any curiosity, leaving such treasures to rot, metaphorically speaking. When Viskar had discovered them, he had immediately distributed them among the gang, as well as bribed a wizard to duplicate as many of them as he could. The cost had been prohibitive, but the Claw Hook gang had made up for it in a matter of months. Since then, things had only gotten better.

The sound of broken glass was heard from outside. One of the thieves must have gotten drunk again. Viskar had the mind to ignore it, but moments later, the sound was followed by a metal clanking. This was yet to alarm Viskar, but he still paused from admiring the treasure to listen carefully for other disturbances.

“No! No! No!” a scream sounded, followed by silence.

Now, Viskar was worried. The stronghold was supposed to be impregnable, more than that—it was supposed to be unfindable. The leader of the gang had gone through great pains to find a hidden hollowed out dungeon and transform it into a hidden base. The only people able to get in or out were members of the gang, and thanks to the magic items Viskar had procured, none of them were likely to ever get caught.

The deputy leader stood up and went to the pile of treasures. From there, he took out a sword with a blade made of pure sapphire. According to the appraisal, this was a legendary weapon capable of slaying through dragon scales.

“Come, get me,” Viskar whispered as he held the sword with both hands, facing the solid metal door to the treasure room. “You’ll regret—”

Before he could finish the sentence, the floor beneath his feet disappeared. Without warning, the man found himself falling down, straight into a pool of ice-cold water. No sooner had he done so than a powerful zap of lightning passed through his entire body, rendering him unconscious.

“Here’s one more,” Liandra said, looking at the wet room from above. The water had subsided, leaving the motionless figure of a thief on the bottom. “I think that’s the last of them.”

“You said that twice before,” Theo’s avatar grumbled, then levitated Viskar up, out of the room, back to the treasure chamber. “I can’t believe that after everything, the earl made me finish this stupid quest. Wasn’t defeating a potential evil overlord enough?”

“Gnome,” Liandra corrected as she bent down to tie up Viskar’s hands and feet. “We defeated a gnome. It’s not much to boast about. And how do you think I feel? I got called from a dragon expedition mission for this. By the time I get back, it’ll be all over.”

The unconscious body was telekinetically moved out of the chamber, through the corner of the corridor, where three dozen other thieves lay in wait. All of them had been knocked out and tied up.

“Those thieves definitely have been busy,” the heroine noted, leaping down to get the ruby bladed sword. “Some of these were stolen from neighboring kingdoms.”

“I’m filled with joy,” the avatar grumbled.

“Aren’t you interested in the reward?”

Theo’s avatar grunted. Gold had next to no value to him, especially since he could produce all the glowing hay he wanted. Still, out of sheer curiosity, he did cast a few dozen identify spells. Nearly all the items were special, although in a very bland way. In the eyes of any person, they would be invaluable. From Theo’s perspective, they were junk he couldn’t give away.

“Nah, you keep it.” He waved a hand dismissively. “There’s nothing here I’d want, anyway. The earl can have fun sorting through all this. With luck, it’ll give me a few months’ peace and quiet.”

Liandra laughed. She knew exactly what Theo had in mind.

“Better pack this stuff. Do you have a dimensional ring?” She looked at him.

“Nothing that could hold all this. Shouldn’t be a problem, though.” The avatar went to the pile of treasure and pulled out a small leather satchel. “Dimensional bag. It should be enough to hold all of this.”

“How did you find that?” the heroine arched a brow.

“Identify spell.”

“Did you check if it’s empty?”

There was a prolonged moment of silence. Theo hadn’t even thought of doing so. For some reason, he had assumed that a found dimensional item would be empty by default.

“Not yet.” The avatar surrounded himself by an aether shield sphere. “I thought I’d check it for—”

The moment he removed the bag’s flap, a torrent of crimson flames shot out, slamming into the inside of the sphere and continuing on the sides. Immediately, the avatar cast another aether sphere, this time indestructible, to hold off the flames. The good news was that he was successful. The bad, that he wasn’t able to save most of his clothes.

“Every time,” the avatar grumbled to himself. At least this time, his avatar had the ability to create a new set of clothes.

“Theo!” Liandra drew her sword. “Careful, it might be a banished dragon!”

“It’s not a dragon,” the avatar replied out of habit, then reached into the dimensional satchel to check. As the space attuned to him, he was able to discern that there was no creature or other trap in there. However, there was one item—a single exhausted mana gem.

The moment the red gem was in the avatar’s hand, Theo felt a deep yearning for it. It was different from the previous gem. This was something he had to have. Taking advantage of the flames and smoke still filling the indestructible sphere, the avatar put the gem in his own dimensional ring. Several seconds later, the aether shield vanished, releasing all the smoke in the chamber.

“I’m fine,” the avatar said as Liandra ran to him, sword in hand. “Just a bit of fire. I’m fine.”

The heroine stared at him for several seconds, then shook her head.

“Next time don’t be in the aether bubble when you check for traps.” She glanced at the satchel. “Was anything inside?”

“Nope,” Theo lied. “Just flames. I guess it was to kill anyone who thought of using it for stealing treasure.”

“No honor among thieves, then.”

“Looks like. Anyway, let’s fill it up and get this over with. Hopefully, the earl won’t send us on some other quest.”

Meanwhile, the mana gem in the dimensional ring flickered.