The Impeccable Adventure of the Reluctant Dungeon

It was well known that heroes were a dungeon’s natural enemies. If adventurers destroyed dungeons mostly for fun, heroes were professionals at it. It was a safe bet that if a hero was dispatched, the outcome was more or less assured. They had the skills and equipment to purge evil, destroy demons, kill monsters, and snatch the core of any dungeon that was deemed to be a serious threat. To Theo’s great misfortune, due to a minor accident, he had made it onto the heroes’ most wanted list. As far as the world knew, he had killed a triple hero of legendary stature, as well as consumed two demon lord hearts. Throughout the world, every heroically inclined individual was itching to have a go at him.

Baron Theodor d’Argent, on the other hand, was a completely different story. His noble deeds were increasingly well known throughout the lands. It helped that this wasn’t the first time he and Liandra had fought together side by side. One could even go as far as to call them friends. In fact, the only thing that the dungeon feared was Liandra finding out that the baron she knew was nothing more than a dungeon avatar.

“I’m here on business,” the woman replied, holding her two-handed sword with one hand. “Why are you here?”

Before the avatar could reply, strands of blood shot out from the carpet. Like threads of red silk, they wrapped the fallen skeletal arm, pulling it across the entire floor to its previous owner. There it was, attached to the other part of the skeletal amalgamation.

“Careful!” The avatar cast three aether bubbles, surrounding the three adventurers with indestructibility.

Using telekinesis, he quickly lifted them into the air and not a moment too soon. Thousands more threads shot up from the floor, attempting to wrap them in a deadly cocoon. A few hundred managed to stick to the bottom of the aether spheres, stretching like melted cheese, until they finally snapped, falling back down to the crimson carpet.

“Did you bless your shoes?” the avatar asked, gripping the hilt of his sword tightly.

“What?” Liandra glanced down for a moment.

“Blood carpet. Saps strength and all that.”

“I’m a first-class heroine.” The woman looked back up with a smile. “Such curses don’t work on me.”

Without another word, Liandra sprinted forward, leaving a trail of smoldering footprints behind her.

At this precise moment, Theo’s experience-greed kicked in. There was no way he’d let her have the core of that amalgamation. Casting a few more swiftness spells on himself for good measure, he flew through the air, blade forward.

The skeletal monstrosity didn’t expect this. All the speed in the world wouldn’t be enough to react to a maniac who flew right at him, striking the collarbone like a dart hitting a target. The glow coming from the weapon intensified as it stood there, halfway in.

“Aha!” the avatar said triumphantly, expecting a notification of his victory to emerge any moment now.

No such thing happened. Instead, the creature unceremoniously grabbed him by the legs, then tossed him across the room once more. This time, though, Theo was prepared and cast an indestructible aether sphere around him, preventing further energy drains.

Liandra broke off her charge, stopping thirty feet from the creature.

“Are you still moving?” she asked, not looking back.

“Better than last time,” the avatar grumbled. “The annoying thing just won’t die!”

“It’s a revenant. It’ll be tough to kill.”

Liandra took a deep breath, then exhaled and thrust forward. Her massive sword glowed in a golden white light, heading straight for the skeleton’s neck.

The revenant punched forward, meeting the weapon with its fist. The weapon sliced through bone like butter, continuing all the way along the arm. Just as it approached the head, the heroine stopped moving. Hundreds of tendrils had managed to shoot up and stick to her legs mid-flight. The power of her heroic trait caused them to quickly melt away, yet with every two that snapped, five more would shoot up.

“Damn it!” the woman said beneath her breath, then slashed the threads beneath her legs. She was just about to proceed with another attack when a sudden force pulled her back away from the skeleton.

“Stay there!” Theo’s avatar said, one hand on the floor.

A watchtower with a particularly sharp roof emerged. It ripped through the carpet, causing thousands of strands to snap and wriggle like blood-red worms, then slammed the revenant in the chest.

Given everything the creature had endured so far, there was no way such a weak attack would finish it off. Theo, however, never intended to kill it with the tower he had constructed. His goal was to strike the legendary sword, driving it in like a nail hit by a hammer.

Chunks of stone flew in all directions as the tower exploded on impact. One of the large chandeliers lost its connection to the ceiling, falling to the floor with a spectacular smash that sent rubies everywhere.

The skeleton itself had been pushed back all the way into the wall again. Sadly, the sword remained only three-quarters in.

“Curs—” the avatar began, when Liandra’s double blade slashed the space in front of him, slicing a thick cluster of blood strands that had just emerged.

Not wasting a moment, Theo followed up by casting an ice circle on the floor. Frozen spikes emerged, imprisoning parts of the carpet with it. Beneath, for the first time, the actual floor became visible. Against all expectations, it was a rather nice marble mosaic depicting a cheerful, almost childish, scene of a prancing pony. Whoever the original owners of the estate were, they definitely had strange tastes.

“You!” the revenant groaned, as thousands of threads trickled up its legs, covering it with a layer of glistening blood. If Theo was back in his previous life, he would have sworn that it had the appearance of plastic. “You destroyed the carpet!”

“Look who’s talking!” the avatar shouted back. Instinctively, he looked up to make sure that none of the three adventurers had done anything stupid.

Thankfully, they remained calm, observing the fight from a distance. At this point, it was obvious even to them that they didn’t stand a chance against such an enemy.

“Nice to see you haven’t lost your touch.” Liandra moved a step away, holding her weapon with both hands. “This reminds me of our fight against Lord Mandrake.”

“Yeah…” the avatar muttered.

Back in Rosewind, half the town creaked. The last thing the dungeon wanted was to admit that Lord Mandrake was effectively working for him. Of the entire world, the heroine was the only person who’d had a good look at the gnome in his real form. If the two ever met, it was going to become more than a little awkward. In a best-case scenario, Liandra might kill the creature before it got to provide any explanations. Sadly, Theo had learned that in the real world—this or the last—the universe wouldn’t be so benevolent.

“Isn’t this quest a bit beneath you?” he asked. “Last time you only agreed because the earl asked you.”

“Yeah, well…” Liandra looked to the side for a moment. “I drew the short straw. I already was in hot water for rushing off to avenge my grandfather without approval. The misunderstanding with the elves sealed the deal, so now I’ve been punished to deal with all the annoying quests that no one else wants to take.”

“This definitely seems annoying.” The avatar’s words dripped with sarcasm.

On the other side of the room, the skeleton had almost completely soaked up the carpet, transforming into what Theo could only describe as a demonic, oversized, action figure.

“It’s a zombie quest.” Liandra turned to the avatar. “Who even falls for those nowadays? If the letters hadn’t cluttered up our mail room, no one would have bothered to send me. I must admit that having such a strong revenant is a bit unusual.”

“Unusual how?” Theo didn’t like the sound of that.

“Revenants are rather strong servants. It usually takes a strong abomination or necromancer to create one this powerful. The blood carpet is also a potent spell.”

“Can dungeons make revenants?” Theo slipped.

Originally, the question was intended for Spok back in his main body. A moment’s lapse of concentration had made him voice it with his avatar as well.

“Sir.” Spok sighed in an unmistakably irritated fashion. “When I suggested keeping an eye on your energy usage, I did not mean creating frivolous rooms.” She adjusted her glasses. “Yes, you are capable of creating a revenant, but you would need to create a revenant chamber, have at least a hundred skeleton minions, and then invest a large quantity of energy to merge them together.”

“Dungeons?” Liandra asked in the cursed estate. “Why would you ask that?”

“No reason.” Theo did his best to keep his avatar calm.

“I suppose dungeons could do that, but I haven’t seen it done. You think there might be a dungeon behind all this?”

“No, I—”

“That would make sense, come to think about it. This only happened a year after the new monster dungeon killed my grandfather. It has the power, but it wouldn’t be that stupid… unless…” The woman’s words trailed off, causing Theo to feel an ache in his core.

On the other side of the hall, the last remains of the carpet hardened, forming a blood red hammer of the size that could destroy houses with one blow. The revenant grabbed the weapon, then took a step forward.

“We’ll talk once this is over.” Liandra charged forward.

The blood hammer swung down in an attempt to hit her, slamming against the marble floor. The attack was far too slow for the heroine, who swerved to the side then, using the momentum of her motion, swung her double-handed sword one full rotation around her before striking the revenant in the neck. Crimson vapor hissed through the wound, melting away at contact with a legendary weapon. Sadly, the wound was far too shallow to cause any serious damage.

“You three.” The avatar looked up. “I hope you’re taking notes. That’s what you should be doing in the future.”

The truth was that Theo needed some time to think over a few possibilities. The worries he had just moments ago had vanished, replaced by a far greater concern: what if it really was a dungeon that had lured his avatar here? Spok had explained the abominations were willing to capture and corrupt people and dungeons alike. What if this one had succeeded? A lone estate close to a town was just the place that Theo would have picked to hide if he could redo his choice. The curses, the skeleton minions, the modifiable quality of the walls and carpets—it all pointed to the same thing.

A short distance away, Liandra and the blood-coated skeleton continued to exchange blows. The revenant seemed to have accumulated a number of scars, but neither of the opponents appeared to be slowing down.

On the other hand, maybe this wasn’t so bad. If this were a dungeon, that meant that its core would contain a lot of core points and maybe something else.

“Spok,” the dungeon asked in its main body. “What happens if I consume a dungeon core that has consumed a mana gem?”

“The same as if you would have consumed a dungeon core and a mana gem separately, sir,” the spirit guide replied. “Nothing is lost in the process of consumption. Well, unless you persist on spending core points for spells.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be getting my permits?” Theo changed the topic. Internally, he was rather pleased. This could well turn out to be a rather beneficial quest, just as he had initially planned.

Making his way forward, the avatar cast an ice spell, only this time it wasn’t to launch an attack, but to create an object—a shield to be specific. Theo had put in the effort to make it large to the point that it could almost cover his entire body.

“You’re going to act as a shield-bearer?” Amelia asked from above.

“Adventuring is a complex thing,” the baron said, moving closer and closer to the point of combat. “Sometimes the best thing to do is assist.”

He was less than ten feet away now, carefully following the pattern of blows. In the intensity of battle, neither Liandra nor the revenant paid him any special attention, as if the massive ice shield had rendered him invisible. Then, Theo did what any person with a new skill would—try it out.

Spinning the shield around him, as if protecting himself from a torrent of invisible arrows, the avatar threw it straight at the entity. The action was so absurd that both Liandra and the revenant seemed to stop in an effort to see what would happen.

The skeletal amalgamation’s body had the strength to withstand heroic swords. There was nothing an ice shield could accomplish, let alone a blunt piece of ice.

The moment the shield got to a foot from the revenant’s torso, its speed increased. The impact was such that it shattered in the red skeleton’s chest. Time seemed to freeze. For several seconds, everyone remained still, evaluating what had happened.

“Well—” The baron knelt down. “—that was anticlimactic.”

The next second, a row of towers emerged from the floor, all expanding in the direction of the revenant. One after the other, they slammed into its chest, disintegrating in the process. Each tower pushed the sword stuck in the monster slightly further until the last slammed it all the way up to the hilt.

Initially, nothing seemed to happen. The only thing different was the dust that filled the air after the series of tower attacks. Then a crack formed on the polished red surface. Like a crack on porcelain it quickly grew, spreading and splitting on and on until the entire upper torso of the monster was covered with it. Then the revenant shattered. The entire chest area burst open, spilling dozens of smaller skeleton bones. The arms and legs followed, converting back to the components that created them. What had once been a fierce warrior was now nothing more than a loose pile of bones on the marble floor.

CORE CONSUMPTION

1 Skeletal Revenant core converted into 2000 Avatar Core Points

That was a far higher amount than the dungeon expected, but undoubtedly deserved. Calmly, he moved his avatar to the pile of bones, from which he pulled out the legendary sword and put it back into his dimensional ring.

“You never change, do you?” Liandra shook her head as she put her own weapon away. “If I had known you’d be here, I’d have saved myself the trouble.” She laughed.

Meanwhile, the remaining adventurers decided to make their presence known. Amelia was the first who acted, shattering the aether bubble from the inside. The task was easy now that it was no longer indestructible, letting the woman land on the ground. Ulf and Avid followed. A loud coo marked that they weren’t the only ones.

Octavian had taken advantage of the opening created by Liandra to fly in from the roof, landing majestically in the center of the hall, much to Avid’s delight and Theo’s annoyance.

“Lady Liandra!” Amelia shouted, rushing towards the heroine.

“Amelia?” The woman blinked as if only noticing them now. “Avid? Why are they here?”

“Long story,” the avatar grumbled.

“The baron is teaching us how to be proper adventurers.” The duke’s daughter beamed.

“Proper adventurers…” Liandra repeated, giving the baron a skeptical glance.

“As I said, it’s a long story.” He turned away. “For the moment, we’d best make sure there are no further threats about, cursed or other.”

That quickly put an end to the conversation. Unfortunately, it didn’t put an end to the heroine’s curiosity. While checking for traps and curses, she kept on pestering the avatar until he told her the entire story. Naturally, certain things were omitted while others—exaggerated. The dungeon’s condition, which had set him off on this quest, was completely ignored along with most events during the brigand’s noble quest.

“For someone who claims to want to be left alone, you certainly like your town a lot,” Liandra noted.

“It’s just a random sequence of events,” the avatar replied.

“To lead a bunch of kids here on their first adventure is definitely something. Most don’t survive an encounter with a revenant of this strength, and that was only a foot soldier.”

“You think there’ll be more of them?”

“Oh, definitely. If we’re lucky, they won’t be named. They won’t be our greatest issue, though.”

“Taking it down wasn’t that hard.”

“Maybe not for you. Can you see any of them doing it?”

The avatar shook his head. There wasn’t a world in which this trio would be capable of such a thing.

“And those are just the minions. The real evil will be far worse.”

“Hey, we took down Lord Mandrake.”

“That was just a gnome under the influence of a demon lord heart.” Liandra frowned. “Smart—yes. Annoying—definitely. Yet, even with all its contraptions, it couldn’t hold a candle to real evil.” She glanced about, making sure that none of the adventurers were near. “The abomination we’re dealing with has serious magic. The entire estate is covered with curses. You can’t step here without risking exposure. The mist, the gate, the outer shell. Other than you, only a hero would be able to go through.”

The more she explained, the more Theo was convinced they were dealing with a high-level dungeon. If that were the case, he couldn’t have been luckier. Having a hero and three adventurers was ideal when facing such an opponent. All he had to do was leave them to be the focus of attention, while sneaking off and snatching the dungeon’s core; before any of them died, of course.

“Do you have any hero scrolls?” he asked all of a sudden.

“Ermm…” Liandra paused. “Yes?” she said hesitantly.

“Give me one.” The avatar demanded. “In case things go downhill, I’ll let a close friend know and—”

“You’ll bring someone else here?” The woman cut him short. “You’ll only be doing the abomination a favor. Its whole point is sending lure letters everywhere.”

“Right…” Deep inside, Theo felt slightly stupid.

“Besides, I only have one. After last time, the guild reduced my scroll privileges. They claimed I was using too many of them.”

Just one hero scroll? Theo slammed a few doors in his main building. And just when he thought things were looking up for him. There was no way she’d let him have it without questions. Either he’d have to use his sleight-of-hand ability to steal it or come up with a plausible explanation why he needed it so urgently.

“Excuse me.” Avid approached. “I—”

“Not now!” Theo’s avatar snapped.

“But I—”

“This really isn’t the best time, Avid,” Liandra said in a far politer tone. “We’re discussing—”

“There’s no one here.” The young adventurer finally finished what he had come to tell them.

“Well, what do you expect?” The avatar turned around, crossing his hands. “We destroyed the skeleton and the carpet. Are you complaining you’ve been having it too easy?”

“Yes… no.” Avid wasn’t certain what to do. He felt like he had fallen into a verbal trap there was no escape from. “I mean, I’m not complaining, but if you just killed a powerful minion and destroyed a cursed carpet, why hasn’t the owner of the castle reacted?”

Theo raised a finger. Unfortunately, just as his mouth opened, he realized that the boy was right. It had been a while since they had destroyed the revenant, and even longer since they had broken into the castle, and yet the abomination had done nothing. There were no reinforcements, no grand appearance or maniacal speeches, just silence, as if the owner didn’t even care. Liandra probably thought the same, for she looked around.

“There don’t seem to be any doors or side corridors,” she said. “The only way is up the stairs.”

Another curious development—one that only a dungeon would notice—was that the damage of the hall had greatly diminished since minutes ago. There were still several large holes in the walls, and part of the marble floor remained covered in cracks, but they were half the size of what they used to be. Even now, Theo could see them shrinking away just slowly enough so as not to be noticed. Even the hole in the ceiling was half its original size. Half an hour more and there would be no indication it had ever existed in the first place.

“Ulf, Amelia.” The avatar cracked his fingers. “It’s time to head up.”

A distance away, the griffin flapped its wings.

“You, too,” Theo gave in. “Just don’t touch anything I haven’t cleared.”

Leading the group, the avatar cautiously approached the base of the staircase. Going by everything so far, if there were any curses they would be on the first few steps. That proved to be wrong. It was the fifth step that had the welcoming trap.

LOOSE STEP Level 5

A death curse that causes the first person stepping on the step to trip and break his neck.

Depending on the strength and nature of the person, it’s possible that the victim breaks his spine, leg, or other body part.

The curse does not affect women and is immediately dissolved once triggered.

“I knew it,” the avatar muttered to himself.

There was no way he’d trigger the curse himself. Instead, he merely cast a minor blessing on the step. The target of the blessing was far too large for the effect to take hold, but that had never stopped Theo before. With enough persistence, he kept on blessing the step over and over again, hundreds of times in succession until the skill finally surrendered.

MINOR BLESS - ULTRA

Allows you to bless a ten-inch area on any item or surface.

“Is there a reason we’ve stopped?” Liandra asked diplomatically, oblivious of what was going on.

“Just a moment.” Theo put in a lot of effort not to hiss, then used his new skill.

CURSE BROKEN

You have blessed the Loose Step, breaking its curse.

The curse is no longer in effect.

1000 Avatar Core Points obtained.

A loud crackling sound followed, after which the entire step tilted down.

“Now we continue.” The avatar glanced over his shoulder.

Before he could take a step, a small silver tray appeared on the step above. Completely uncursed, the tray was flawless made of pure silver, with rose motifs etched all over its edges. A single small scroll lay in the middle of it, wrapped in a crimson ribbon. To Theo’s astonishment, that wasn’t cursed, either.

“Careful, Baron,” Ulf said, peeking from behind. “It might be a trap.”

Ignoring him, the avatar took the scroll, slid it out of the ribbon, and unrolled it.

“What does it say?” Amelia took a step closer, attempting to peak over the baron’s shoulder.

Theo could barely believe it. Slowly, he placed it on the tray, then continued forward.

Incapable of leaving things as they were, Liandra grabbed the piece of paper.

“Bill for damages,” she read out loud. “One ruined gate, twenty destroyed statues, one ruined carpet, a broken chandelier, and one retired servant. Total—a hero’s soul.”

The three adventurers looked at each other, then at Liandra.

“That’s not all,” the avatar said as he continued climbing the stairs.

The heroine unrolled the end of the paper. It had one more line written in red ink.

“It’s customary to leave a tip of three adventurer souls…” she added.