The Human Saint is Bored, so I was Summoned to Another World

Of course, it felt bad. Really bad.

“…”

I didn’t expect Maddie to get angry like that, nor did I wish for Lily to fight her friend…

Yes, and all of that is because of me.

If I understood what Maddie blurted out earlier, Lily’s ‘weird’ actions all amounted to being jealous of her friend for getting engaged to me.

What the hell? Me? A total stranger and nobody from another world? This must be a good joke!

Honestly, this was the first time that I encountered such fights between two girls for that reason. I mean, hey, I was a former teacher, and I solved cases like this before. But the guy involved was someone else, and not me exactly. And I believed, if my memory serves me right, it’s usually the boy’s fault that things turned ugly; he just couldn’t keep his hands on his pants.

I couldn’t even remember when I seduced Maddie and Lily. Nor did I try to; you know my story.

Just what the hell on Chersea happened?

Anyway, this wasn’t the time to panic. I need to solve this problem before it gets worse than it should.

“…”

So, let’s see…Maddie’s angry with Lily because she felt like her friend’s trying to limit her movement, especially regarding me. And Lily’s mad with Maddie because she’s jealous of Her Holiness, or because of me getting all the attention when she’s been with her all the time…or it can be both.

Well, damn…if I was a teacher, at least I had some authority to force a solution between these girls. It sure felt different when you know that you’re the source of the problem itself.

Ah…what should I do?

I quickly got up and, intending to take my mind off from the issue at hand for a bit, I went to the library. Perhaps reading some books there would give me an idea of how to solve this problem.

“…”

But then again, when I finally reached the library, I just didn’t know what I would want to read. The fight between Maddie and Lily remained at the back of my mind, no matter how hard I tried to focus on the book I was reading.

You know, I’m already thinking…what if I didn’t get summoned here? Will everything be alright?

“…”

Well, that black-haired Saint told me before that if I hadn’t come, Maddie would be dead by suicide. And Lily would be insane because of her brother’s death.

Ahh…I don’t know anymore.

“!!!”

I suddenly heard a loud thud come from somewhere inside that forest of shelves holding the books and tomes. And then, what followed was a series of smaller thuds, showing that books were falling on the carpet. I quickly went around to check on the source of that noise.

“Ow…”,

Wait, I know that small voice! It’s—

“Eris? What are you doing there?”

----------

I was surprised to see little Eris on the top of the pile of books that fell from its shelves. I didn’t think that she hurt herself that bad, despite that, those falling books were thick enough to cause enough pain to any unfortunate head it hits.

“Are you okay, Eris?” I immediately removed the books that trapped her. Those were kind of heavy, especially when it piled up like what happened to her. Fortunately, Eris could shield her head from those using magic, so it caused little harm to her, save for a few sore muscles her magic failed to protect.

“W-what h-happened?” she asked me, quite dazed.

“Those books fell on you,” I explained, “Are you okay? What are you doing to cause such an accident?”

“Oh…right,” Eris seemed to remember her original purpose, “Well, Eris is looking for some books to read.”

“I see,” I chuckled, “But it seems like you went in for the wrong shelf, huh?”

“Hm? Is Mister Kuro making fun of Eris?” she pouted.

“Ah no, my bad,” I quickly apologized, and then reached out my hand towards her, “Come on! Whatever you’re looking for, I’ll help you with that.”

Eris then happily took my help and said, “Well, Eris is searching for a map.”

“A map? What for?”

“Well, Big Sis Head Maid asked Eris to do it for her.”

“Huh?” When she said ‘Big Sis Head Maid’, I quickly suspect that it’s Lily, “You mean, Lily?”

Eris nodded.

“She asked you for a map?”

“Yes. Eris was surprised to see the Big Sis Head Maid with wet eyes earlier, so Eris asked her what’s wrong. She shook her head, telling Eris that her eyes just caught something,” Eris smiled triumphantly, “But Eris knew that Big Sis Head Maid is lying!”

“Well, of course, she is!” I was about to tell Eris about the incident between the Saint and the head maid, but I ultimately decided against it in the end. It was better that Maddie would be the one to share it, or Lily, should they ever decide to. Eris was too young for such matters.

“Hmm? Does Mister Kuro know anything about Big Sis Head Maid’s problem?”

“Me?” I fiercely shook my head, “I-I don’t! I’m just concerned…”

“Ah…Eris understands,” Eris nodded, “Well, Eris knew that she’s too young to be of help, so she’ll just tell Mister Kuro what Eris knows about Big Sis Head Maid’s problem.”

“Oh? So, you know about it, huh?”

“Yes…Eris thinks that Big Sis Head Maid’s problem is because of this.”

“!!!”

Eris produced a folded piece of paper from her uniform’s apron. I was puzzled by it, so I took it from her hand.

“What’s this?” I asked, carefully reading the contents of the letter, which was addressed to Lily herself as the princess of the kingdom of Nerfes. It’s from someone named Nicholas Galahad von Leese.

“That’s a letter from Big Sis Head Maid’s father,” I heard Eris say.

Oh…

Well, by the looks of it, this letter was something I don’t want to read even if it’s addressed to me. This Nicholas person was telling Lily to stay away from their house’s royal fiefs.

For short, she’s being told off in her country.

“What’s up with this guy?” I couldn’t imagine such words being said to someone as dear as your daughter, but then again, who am I to say that? I was a stranger here, “Why is he telling this to Lily if he’s her father?”

“Eris doesn’t know much about that matter, Mister Kuro,” she admitted, “What Eris heard, however, is that Big Sis Head Maid was exiled from Nerfes when she first came here.”

“Ha? Exiled?” I may never fully comprehend Lily’s pain, but well, I was still in shock by what I just learned, “Why? And we just came from that place!”

“Well, it’s not that Mister Kuro and Her Holiness went to the royal lands of the House of von Leese. Technically, Big Sis Head Maid didn’t set foot on the forbidden fiefs, so her father is okay with it. However, Prince Nicholas felt threatened and wouldn’t stay quiet when his daughter is nearby, so maybe that’s the reason Big Sis Head Maid got that letter…”

“…” I could only stare blankly at the folded paper that I was holding. I wasn’t able to find the right words to say. Coming from a place where familial ties were a strong culture, I couldn’t think of anything more painful than this. Truth be told, even if I was not the one being addressed in the letter, I could still feel and understand the hurt and insecurities of being an unwanted child.

And so that’s why Lily said before that she did nothing right…and that would also explain Maddie’s horrified look when she said bad things about her friend. The head maid just wanted to feel that she’s needed all along!

Fuck, I’m so insensitive! What have I done!?

However, now that some things were quite clear to me, there’s one last thing that I needed to know.

“Hey, Eris, by the way, how did you land your hands on this letter? Isn’t this a personal one?”

“Oh, Eris was the one currently in charge of the laundry of the servants in her department, as well as that of the Big Sis Head Maid. So Eris saw that inside Big Sis Head Maid’s uniform. It seems like she forgot to remove it before giving it to Eris. Eris is about to give it to her, but then, Eris met Mister Kuro.”

“I see…” I nodded, but I hit Eris’ head anyway, “I know I should be thankful for you regarding this, but don’t go rummaging through other people’s belongings and then reading their letters. Got that?”

“Uuu…” Eris held her head. Not that my fist hurt, but she’s surprised at the sudden gesture. Well, it’s better if she knew her limits for private property than letting her off the hook just because she was of help this time.

In the end, rummaging through someone’s properties is still disrespectful.

----------

And so, armed with the new knowledge I got—well, illegally—from Eris, I hurried over to Maddie’s room.

“…”

“…”

However, I was surprised to find the king of Nerfes, Rambo, and Sir Simon, inside the private quarters of the Saint. The serious look on their faces told me that something’s amiss.

“Oh, it’s just the commoner,” I heard Rambo say, “Is this alright, Maddie? For him to enter your room as easy as that? You should tell him where his place is!”

“Stop it, James!” Sir Simon tapped him on the shoulder, “He’s a trusted friend of Maddie and Lily, and also a good friend of ours as well.”

Ha? When did I become a friend of that steroid guy?

“Hmm…well, I was just pointing out that he’s coming in and out of Maddie’s room freely,” Rambo defended his actions.

“Says the person who’d suddenly barge in my quarters to ask for help,” Maddie sarcastically quipped, “And don’t worry; Kuro’s took time to ask my guards’ permission to come in here, as he always does.”

I believed that shut Rambo’s mouth for a while.

Anyway, I told them, “Well, it seems you’re in the middle of an important talk. I’ll excuse myself then—”

“No wait, Kuro!”

“!!!”

It was Maddie herself who stopped me from leaving. She pointed out to an empty chair near her bed, and so I joined Rambo and Sir Simon in this secret rendezvous before sleep time.

Well, Rambo’s expression was still disapproving, but compared to before, it’s laxer now. Sir Simon gave me a light tap on the shoulder, as if to welcome me in their circle.

I wonder what’s this meeting is for, anyway…

“Good thing you came, Mister Kuro,” Sir Simon began talking, “As you can see, we’re in the middle of an emergency discussion.”

“Emergency discussion?” I asked, quite confused.

Sir Simon then turned to Rambo and cleared his throat. Rambo realized the cue and started explaining, “Well, bad news had just come from Meldech, my kingdom’s capital city. A riot erupted there, which spread further to the countryside. And now, many of my people are up in arms.”

“A rebellion?”

It was Maddie who answered this time, “Not really. It’s more like, the people are armed because they want to protect themselves.”

“Huh? Is Nerfes being invaded?”

Sir Simon shook his head, “The people of Meldech claim that the Bloody Witch of Meldech has returned.”

“What?”

“The Bloody Witch of Meldech,” Rambo reiterated, “If you don’t know, that monster is feared in my kingdom, having caused many deaths and sufferings when she’s alive.”

“Whoa! Whoa! Wait for a second, what do you mean ‘she’s alive’? That Bloody Witch you’re talking about is dead already?”

“She is dead. Or at least, supposed to be dead.”

“Wha—”,

Maddie interrupted me, “I’m telling you, James, that witch was already dead. She can’t terrorize your population anymore!”

“How can you be so sure, Maddie? No one has seen her corpse when they tried to burn her castle.”

The Saint insisted, “Are you doubting me, James? Wasn’t it Lily, and I were the ones who vanquished that witch? Do you mean to say that we’re lying to you when all you did during that time was to hide behind the safety of your castle walls?”

The king of Nerfes was taken aback by Maddie’s sarcastic words. Not wishing to further escalate the tension, Rambo had to back down, eventually.

“Hmm, if Her Holiness is saying that this witch you guys are worried about is already dead—having seen it with her two eyes, and now Meldech is rioting because of that…then it must be that someone spread a false rumor about it.”

“Of course!” Rambo scoffed, “Even a child could see that, you fool!”

“Well, what I’m concerned about is why did someone do it?” I raised the question I had in my mind, “What could be gained if a riot begins at your capital city?”

“Hmm…” Rambo and Sir Simon pondered on the concern that I laid before them. And then, it was King Rambo who answered, “Well, nothing comes to mind.”

“Nothing, huh?” I was also equally puzzled by the sudden turn of events, “Could be a work of someone who has too much idle time on their hands.”

“Probably,” King Rambo backed me up, “Ah, I will have to go back to Nerfes as soon as possible. They need my presence there to bring the order back to the capital, and the surrounding areas. I’ll leave Simon here to deal with the Congress for now.”

“Noted,” Maddie commented, “Take care on your journey back, James.”

King Rambo suddenly stiffened up, and I could see his face blush terribly. He bowed reverently before Her Holiness, before turning around and marching—literally, off the Saint’s private quarters.

Heh, such a pure-hearted soul.

And Sir Simon remained with us for a while.

“I hope the Congress would be alright,” I heard the second prince say, “The emperor has sent an envoy, instead of appearing himself. And now, James would have to go because of the riot at Meldech.”

“Are you worrying that this would set a precedence?” Maddie asked.

“Yes.”

“Well, I could always try bluffing them into submission.”

“Are you sure that would always work?” Sir Simon countered, “And on a personal level, can you even do that? I know you can’t even lift a finger to hurt someone else; how much more when you are pressed into action? Would you be capable of sending plagues and disasters to innocent people?”

“…”

“You know us humans, Maddie. We’d always try to challenge the limits to see if those really apply. And you also have to contend with the fact that most of these rulers don’t even truly care for the welfare of their people; the only thing that matters is that they can sit on their thrones ’till they die,” the second prince continued, “If this continues, eventually we might find that the Congress—and the peace that you worked so hard for—would be jeopardized by the indifferent attitude of the human kings.”

The Saint fell silent. Sir Simon drove his point home, to which I also agreed.

Well, I remained quiet for a time. I didn’t know about the diplomatic situation of Chersea, nor do I intend to meddle with how they handle things around here, unless it directly affected the personal lives of my friends. I got my problems to deal with, and I never wished to add to the simmering tension.

But hey, if it’s me, I’d slap these non-compliant rulers a lot of economic sanctions to bring their kingdoms to their knees. It’s not that harsh compared to the plagues and famines the Saint uses to threaten the human rulers to submit, but its effect was almost the same, and the royals would also be likewise affected by those directly.

I mean, for example, let’s say these kings and their population like to eat pizza. If I didn’t give it to them for quite some time, soon they’d come asking for my favor to bring back the pizza supply.

Haa…easier said than done, though. I knew that human diplomacy wasn’t that simple, but well, at least there’s that option…

“…”

Ah, I’m wallowing again in my thoughts.

“…”

“What?” I asked. That was because, when I came back to my senses, I noticed that Maddie and Sir Simon were gazing at me. Her Holiness, in particular, had an intense gaze in her eyes.

“Kuro…don’t you think it’s a brilliant idea?”

“Ha? What is?”

“Those sanctions you’re thinking about.”

“Huh?”

Oh…looks like Maddie had read my thoughts once again.

----------

I explained to them how a ‘sanction’ works—at least in my world’s context.

“Ah, so for that to be effective, we have to cut off the supply of what seems to be the most valuable commodity in that country,” Maddie tried to confirm what she understood.

“That’s one aspect, yes,” I nodded, “Or earlier, you can block that country’s most valuable export to cut their income. That way, not only the population will be affected but also the royalty and nobility who profits from those economic activities.”

“I see…”,

“But for that to happen, we need to gain the cooperation of the other countries, right?” Sir Simon asked.

“Well, yes, but not that required. What we have to prioritize is to get the guilds to abide by our sanctions. They are the ones that deal with the economy on the front-line basis, so I guess, an agreeable guild master is better than a submissive king in this situation.”

“Ah, I see, you have a point!” Sir Simon smirked.

“Guilds only think of the interests of their organization,” Maddie was having enlightenment, “We can work that out in our favor.”

“Precisely. You only have to make the consequence of cooperating with you more ‘attractive’ than the other side.”

And with that, having understood the principles I explained, Maddie and Sir Simon quickly got down to discuss the mechanics of the ‘sanctions’ that they’d want to implement soon.

I just hoped I still had time to tell Her Holiness about her friend.

----------

The time came when Maddie and I were now alone in her room. Sir Simon excused himself earlier, having had a rough draft of the plans he and the Saint conceived. Her Holiness told him she’d like to refine the mechanisms they devised, and so he left.

And now…

“…”

“…”

For starters, I didn’t expect the atmosphere to be this…uh…awkward, after all that we discussed earlier. Maddie and I remained in a staring contest, as I found myself unable to say anything to her. One look and I could tell that she’s back to her usual, vulnerable self…

“Ah, now that we’re alone…how’s Lily?” she asked first, her deep silvery-blue eyes showing a lot of concern for her friend.

I didn’t know what to say, though. A part of me wanted to tell her the truth, but the opposite side was saying otherwise.

I mean, come on, Maddie’s suffering here as well. Should this be the time to tell her about Lily?

“Don’t worry, Kuro, I could still carry on,” she reassured me after reading my mind.

No, I don’t think…

“Please…” Maddie pointed out to the letter I have in my breast pocket, “Is there something important about Lily that I should know?”

“Well…I found a letter from her father…I guess you should look at this,” I took out the paper and handed it over to her. I was worried that Maddie would freak out, so I stayed beside her. However, my fears stayed in my mind and did not spill to reality. Maddie just took a deep breath, and after reading the contents of the letter, folded it…

“!!!”

…and inadvertently crumpled the paper with her hands. She didn’t even hide her sadness anymore. Her Holiness just poured her heart out for her friend.

“What have I done? What have I done?” Maddie repeatedly asked herself as she bawled like a child. Of course, I tried to console her, but to no avail. This was a sadness no one wishes to see, especially if it’s from someone close to them.

“You’re not the one to blame here, Your Holiness,” I spoke to her, but Maddie kept on crying. I’d just let her be, but not before I told her, “Maddie, listen to me. It’s just an outburst of feelings. No one wanted what just happened. Please don’t put the fault on yourself; I’m sure Lily would understand once she calms down.”

The Saint went on venting out her sad tears. I could find no words to say any further to appease her heart, so I remained by her side until she got tired and slept.

“…”

With the help of a maid—who coincidentally—was about to remind Her Holiness that she was about to sleep, we fixed her on her bed and tucked her in. I read from an article back on Earth that sad and stressed people would be better if they slept feeling all secure and warm, so I made sure that Maddie’s comfortable in her sleeping position.

“…”

And now that things finally settled down…

I guess I needed to man up and force a solution to this issue, even if I had to play the villain. They’re both suffering, and I couldn’t bear to watch it anymore.

----------

I believed I should take a step forward in this issue. If these two girls would break their friendship just because of someone like me, I guess I’d better do the right thing…

“…”

It’s kind of worrisome, but I have no other choice. Now that I was thinking about it, maybe going out of the Holy Palatial Gardens permanently would be the long-term solution. And, the uncertainty of my situation was scary. I mean, I have nothing with me…save for a few gold coins and clothes.

Hmm…I got a few acquaintances back in Nerfes, which could help me…

“…”

But then again, if I go to Nerfes, the only route I knew of was the one that got us ambushed by a group of bandits. Indeed, it’s safe before—given that the paladins from the Paladin Corps were with us. However, this time, it’d be all about me, alone and vulnerable.

I don’t even know how to swing a sword properly. What I have is a gun—a matchlock one, which takes forever to load.

“…”

Ah, now was not the time to think about me. I was supposed to be a 25-year-old adult and a former teacher. I shouldn’t let myself be carried away by teenagers and their angst.

So, I needed to mend their relationship at least, before I venture into unknown territory. I felt like my conscience would be forever plagued by what happened to Her Holiness and her head maid if I didn’t give my full efforts to fix their friendship.

“…”

Taking a deep breath, and keeping Her Fluffy Holiness’ advice in mind, I gathered my courage and knocked softly at the head maid’s door.

“…”

However, it took me quite some time before I realized she won’t open the door easily for me. So, I knocked again, once more. Maybe if I get way too persistent, Lily would be annoyed enough to open the door for me, and the opportunity to make amends would present itself…

“…”

But nothing happened. I felt like an idiot standing outside her room, and the other maids’ stares made the situation even more awkward.

I guess I announced my presence long enough to tell Lily that I intend to talk to her.

“…”

I half-expected to find the doorknob to be locked when I opened her room. However, much to my surprise, it’s unlocked. I knocked once again to make sure that Lily knew of my presence. And then I entered…

“!!!”

What greeted me wasn’t Lily; instead, I found an empty bed, and the neatly arranged and cleaned-up room that would tell you she had already disappeared without even looking around…

Well, what could’ve been worse?

“…”

Oh right…

Damn, Maddie and Lily seemed to end their friendship on bad terms, all because of me…

Yep, I guess it’s much worse.