The Human From a Dungeon

Nick Smith

Adventurer Level: 7

Human - American

Algebrun went around introducing everyone. Basinoth, king of blood fae, wore the same armor as the blood fae that Algebrun had summoned earlier, but was much taller and had a meaner looking face. His chiseled jaw and low-set brow made it look as if he was permanently scowling. Horth, king of bone fae, had nearly identical facial features but both his skin and armor were an off-putting pale yellow-white color. It took a second for me to realize that it was the same color as sun-bleached bone, which makes sense since he's the king of bone fae, I guess.

Mumuldobran didn't look like I had expected at all. His chin was rounded and his brow was high, giving him an almost child-like face. The pudgy cheeks and belly enhanced this effect, but his eyes were as serious as a heart attack. He stood shorter than most of the fae, only surpassing Tits' height by an inch or two, but he somehow exuded a commanding presence. I wondered how Algebrun and Tits were able to muster up the courage to piss him off.

Mumuldobran and Algebrun were wearing the same outfit. Pants and shirts that looked as if they were made of leaves, with intricate stitching that formed odd patterns that kind of hurt to look at. Tits' outfit was similar, but her shirt was cut low enough that I realized she didn't have a navel. I also noticed that the patterns on her clothing forced my eyes toward her substantial cleavage. I sighed internally as I endeavored to look away from her as much as possible.

Yilf, king of the flower fairies, looked exactly as I imagined a flower fairy would look. He stood at about eight inches tall and his facial features were soft and kind. His most striking attribute was his wings, which were every color that I could think of, in a pattern that reminded me of my mom's flower-garden. He was wearing what could only be described as a onesie made of flowers, and when Algebrun introduced him, he held out a hand to me.

"What are you doing?" Horth asked.

"Mortals like to touch things, and one of their favored greetings is a handshake," Yilf explained.

I gently took his hand, and was shocked by how cold it was. Then I was surprised by strength of his grip and shake. We shook for nearly forty seconds before Algebrun interceded.

"I'm fairly certain that's too long of a handshake, Yilf," he said.

"Really?" Yilf asked. "It's a very pleasant sensation, though. Such a warm hand, with a nice and firm grip as well. I could shake it all day."

"We do have other matters to attend to," Mumuldobran sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Oh, yes, my apologies."

Yilf released my hand and smiled at me. I nervously returned his smile, and then realized that I had been internally referring to these creatures as male and female. With Tits and the other fae, it was an easy mistake to make. They were practically caricatures of their displayed genders. Yilf, though, was much more androgynous, and this had made me realize my mistake.

A few of my friends back home struggled to define themselves with gender, and would probably do much better than I can in this situation. Some of my other friends would do much worse though. Before I could start wondering how all of them were doing, I refocused on the situation at hand and endeavored to avoid referring to the fair folk using gendered pronouns at all cost.

"Now that we are acquainted, let's get started," Mumuldobran said, gesturing to the chairs and tables.

The seating rearranged to form a semi-circle facing five seats with matching tables. Algebrun looked at me and gestured to the center seat. I sat, and Yulk took the seat to my left. Algebrun sat next to Yulk, and both Tits and Nash tried to sit to my immediate right.

"No, no," Tits winked at him and pointed to the other chair. "You sit there, I'LL sit here."

"But..." Nash said, trailing off and looking to Algebrun for help.

"Honestly," Algebrun shook his head. "Nash, you should let them take that spot. We should just be grateful that they're sitting in a chair and not on Nick's lap."

"Now there's an idea!" Tits said with a wide smile.

"No," I stated emphatically.

"Aw, c'mon Nick, don't be like that. Uncross your arms and lean back so I can..."

Mumuldobran slammed a fist on the table in front of him, "Sit in the thrice damned chair! Now!"

Tits shot the king of the arch-fae a venomous glare, but did as she was told. The two arch-fae held eyes for a few moments before Mumuldobran turned his attention to me.

"Now then," Mumuldobran said. "Nicodemus Liam Smith, I understand that you provided a name to both Algebrun and... Tits... and immediately afterward they were transformed into arch-fae. I also understand that you are a touched. Please elaborate on your interaction with the being you spoke with in the void."

"Mumuldobran, I feel that's unnecessary," Algebrun interrupted. "I've already told you all about that interaction."

"Yes, yes Algebrun, you saw his memories when your blood mingled. However, when viewing memories in such a way, the view is crystal clear. A perfected recollection, if you will. One's perceptions of one's memories are often different from the memories themselves, though. Nearly always, in fact. The higher ones are far trickier than even we, and it would be a simple matter for them to alter one's perception to grant different information than what actually occurred."

"Huh?" Horth and Basinoth asked simultaneously, then shared an angry glance with one another.

Mumuldobran sighed, "To put it simply, with a little help from the higher one, Nick may have gleaned something from the memory that Algebrun wouldn't have been able to."

All eyes turned to me, and my mouth went dry. What if what I tell them is wrong? What if they aren't able to get the answers they need? I can practically feel how powerful they are, what will I do if they get mad at what I say?

"I... um... We were attacked by bandits and I cast healing on a friend of ours who was injured. I ended up using all of my magic and lost consciousness," I explained. "It was dark, then it was bright, and I was suddenly naked. Then there was Cass, except she wasn't really Cass."

"Irrelevant details," Mumuldobran interrupted. "What did the higher one say to you? I assume it told you to do something."

"Yes, uh... it told me that I was about to go down the wrong path and I needed to see King Yssinirath because some stupid mer were about to do some stupid things. It also told me not to tell anyone."

"Great, now that you've chastised him about irrelevant details, he left out some of the relevant ones," Yilf said, sticking its tongue out at Mumuldobran. "Nick, we'd like your interpretation of these events as they happened. Start from when you met the higher one."

"Okay. We were both nude, and I thought she was in disguise. But she... or it, I guess... it said that my brain was trying to make sense of where we were and that it was interesting that I saw it as my girlfriend," I explained. "It told me that my brothers and I wouldn't know what to do when we got to Bolisir, and that we needed to see King Yssinirath or it would take years for me to figure out how to get home because some stupid mer were about to do some stupid things. It... uh... It also called Yulk cute."

"Not an inaccurate description," Yilf laughed. "Go on."

"It said that it's rooting for me, and that the reason it didn't tell me exactly what I should do to get home is because of a pact. Then its appearance changed and I could see bright red chains binding it. I asked it if I should tell anyone about it, and it said no because it would lead to violence and bloodshed. I asked why it was approaching me, and it explained that it really wanted to and threatened to throw a temper tantrum if it wasn't picked. Then it told me to train, and I woke up."

"Yeah, that sounds like a higher one to me," Horth said bitterly.

"The details that the human remembers tell a story," Mumuldobran said. "Nick saw the higher being as someone close to it, which-"

"Him," Yith interrupted. "Nick is a male."

"Oh, I really don't give a shit," Mumuldobran snarled.

"When it comes to speaking, one should do it right or not at all, arch-fae king," Basinoth said.

"FINE! HE saw the higher being as someone close to HIM. HAPPY?"

"There you go," Yith grinned. "Good job! Keep it up!"

Mumuldobran muttered something that sounded obscene before recomposing himself.

"Nick saw the higher being as someone close to him," he continued with an annoyed glance at Yith. "Which could indicate that the higher being IS close to him. It could be acting as a protector or guide, the latter of which is somewhat more likely given the rest of their interaction. This higher being set Nick on a path that would lead to the awakening of the High Dragon, King of Elves, who happens to be one of our oldest allies. Then the higher one told him that telling anyone would lead to bloodshed."

Once Mumuldobran said bloodshed, all of the gathered fair folk's expressions dampened. Even Tits, who had been staring at the side of my face, turned to look at the king of arch-fae.

"You don't think..."Basinoth trailed off.

"I do think. Frequently, in fact. It's fun, you should try it," Mumuldobran grinned.

"Fuck you."

"Maybe later. What's more concerning is that Nick clearly recalls the higher one saying that some stupid mer will do some stupid things, and indicating that he needed to see King Yssinirath because of this. This was Nick's knee-jerk recollection when I pressured him earlier."

"I'm starting to dislike where this analysis is going," Horth said.

"It gets worse. We know now that this higher one enjoys interacting with our world, and is currently under a pact, likely one of limited interaction. Which means that a highest one is involved. Maybe even THE highest one."

"May I ask some questions?" I interrupted.

Mumuldobran gave me the same annoyed look that it gave Yith earlier, but nodded.

"What is a highest one, and why is bloodshed relevant?"

"Beings that are far more powerful than the higher ones and had a hand in the creation of the universe," Algebrun explained. "They do not interact with anything except for the higher ones, and mortals rarely even come to the realization that they exist. Mortals call the higher ones gods, but the highest ones are better described as such."

"And the reason that bloodshed is relevant is because fair folk don't bleed," Mumuldobran added. "The higher one you spoke to would have known of this hearing. It would have known that your options would be to tell us the truth or try to avoid telling us anything, and subtly informed you of the consequences of either choice. We also have a vague warning of stupid mer doing stupid things, a previously incapacitated ally suddenly awakened by the same one bearing this warning, two mysteriously created arch-fae, and a higher one under a pact of limited interaction."

"Which means that all of the higher ones are likely under a similar pact," Yith said with a slight frown. "I think we now know where Algebrun and Tits came from. One of the higher ones promoted them, but couldn't tell us that they did so."

"More importantly, we're going to be attacked soon," Horth grinned. "And it must be a serious attack if it wouldn't lead to bloodshed with us left unwarned."

"We get to add to our collections," Basinoth returned Horth's grin.

"Nick, Nash, Yulk, we are done here and you may continue upon your journey," Mumuldobran said while he rose from his seat. "Oh, and thank you for your time. You now have permission to wander these lands with up to three companions each, unmolested by the arch-fae and the fae they oversee."

"And the blood fae," Basinoth added.

"And the bone fae," Horth nodded.

"I can make no promises regarding any of the fairies," Yith shrugged and smiled. "Thankfully, we're mostly a friendly sort."

"Wait, can't we help in some way?" I asked.

"You already have," Algebrun said. "You have made a choice that has allowed us to prepare for the upcoming attack."

"Algebrun's correct," Mumuldobran interjected. "Plus, you have things to do and we don't know when this attack is going to occur. It could be days from now or years from now, such is the nature of the higher ones."

Nash and Yulk rose from their seats, and I followed suit. Yulk put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. I looked up at him, and he gave me a small smile.

"Let's go, Nick," he said. "Don't worry, they'll be okay without us."

"Yeah, the king of blood fae fought our dad and didn't die," Nash grinned. "They're plenty strong."

I let out a small sigh, unable to shake the worry that something bad might happen to Algebrun and Tits. Then I looked around at the assembled fair folk and realized that a fight alongside them would probably be out of my league anyway. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah," I said. "You're pro-"

"I want to go with Nick," Tits interrupted. "He could likely use my help on his journey, and my aid would be more beneficial to him than it would be to the Deepwyld Forest. Plus, I haven't seduced him yet."

The clearing went silent as everyone turned to look at Tits in disbelief. A few seconds passed before Mumuldobran cleared its throat.

"You have no idea how much I'd like to say yes to that request and be free of your annoyance for a time," the king of arch-fae said. "However, I am getting a very powerful urge to say no and cannot pinpoint the source of said urge..."

"A whisper," Tits said sadly. "I see. Well, sorry Nick, looks like I'm needed here, and can't go with you after all."

"Huh?" I managed to reply.

"Go now, lovely little object of my adoration," she whispered, stepping closer and putting her finger against my lips. "Before I change my mind."

The warmth of her finger barely registered in my mind as I stared deeply into her eyes and saw how serious she was. We stood there for a moment while I thought about what to do. A smile began to creep over her face. I could almost see her mind changing, which made up my mind about what to do.

I turned, and ran back the way we came as fast as I could.