15. First Time (1)
“And aren’t you forgetting something? Don’t you know you should always greet me with a hug and a kiss after I’ve been gone for so long? That is what lovers should do, right?” He continued, his words turning into a command.
‘No, stop. Don’t listen.’
Leila desperately tried to resist the command and keep her body from moving forward, but the command held stronger control over her body than she did. It wasn’t a temporary command; the single word ‘always’ made it a permanent one. This meant that from then on, she would greet him unwillingly with a hug and kiss.
‘Don’t…’ Her arms wrapped around Zain’s neck, and he placed his hands around her waist, bringing her close. She was pressed against Zain’s, and she felt his warmth. Then she pecked his lips.
“…”
After a brief pause, Leila’s cheeks turned red as she parted her lips after regaining control. “You don’t do anything to warrant such a reaction. All you do is play with my body and force me to do things against my will with commands.”
“What do you mean by that? Aren't I showing you my love?” Zain asked.
“You’re too blindsided, thinking this one-sided love makes me feel the same as you.” Leila lowered her head, a wry expression painted on her face. “It’s just twisted and disgusting. It’s not like I have any free will at all. I feel so constrained, and this demon crest will eventually warp my mind into loving you.”
“Now, our every meeting will begin with me losing control of my body and giving you a kiss. Your chest is warm to the touch and is comforting; your heart isn’t. Your heart is cold and unsettling.” She pressed her hands against his chest and pushed off. She continued. “My body’s a woman, a demon, and I can accept that to some extent. It’s the same for my soul. Of course, this change in me was your doing. Setting that aside, there’s one thing I can’t accept.”
Leila pulled herself away from Zain’s arms as he looked at her in shock. “It’s you! I can’t accept you. You don’t give a shit, whether I want a kiss or to be hugged. You go straight for it with no consideration for me. You don’t care if I like someone else, enforcing your own feelings onto me.”
He was a demon—no, even worse than a demon. Demons lived off their own desires, but he didn’t just do that. He forced his own desires onto others by engraving the demon crest onto their bodies. His desires wouldn’t only be forced on others; he would cause them to fundamentally change in every way, whether physically, mentally, or spiritually, to fulfill his desires. The cost didn’t matter as long as the outcome gave him something he wanted.
“If you really want a relationship with me, it’s best not to force it.” She said curtly, speaking sincerely.
Before, she hadn’t noticed everything that had changed about her. She understood now while Zain stood before her. Her fundamental beliefs and view of him and her body had changed slightly. She hated him, yes, but not to the point where she couldn’t coexist with him.
In the face of her curt expression, Zain shrugged. “Aha… You’re right; I force my desires onto others. To be more specific, just one person. She did always say that; I’ve been this way for... even I don’t know how long.”
“Her…? Who?” asked Leila.
This was the first time Zain had ever mentioned someone else. To know him this well and for such a long time, who could it be? Was it his past lover? No, it shouldn’t be the case. He seemed like the type to obsess over one person and no one else. If that were true, he wouldn’t be here now, doing it to her.
‘A long time.’
What did that mean? There shouldn’t be a huge age difference between them. Although she didn’t know the actual age of her current body, she looked to be around eighteen. If it was a childhood lover, then it could be possible, but the tone and expression he showed when he said that didn’t fit the expression one would have if that were true.
‘It was a similar look he gives me.’ She felt an uncomfortable emotion come over her—an alien sensation. It was an emotion she thought she’d never felt before, especially when it was related to Zain: the feeling of jealousy. ‘It’s because the look is different. It’s more affectionate than what he gives me.’
She hated Zain, but deep down, there was also something she relentlessly denied and suppressed in her heart, no matter how many times it tried to rise and grow. It was the deep-rooted feelings she had for Zain—something she never entertained as a man. With her sudden change, her feelings grew. Her jealousy was likely caused by a gap appearing in her mind when it grew in size.
“The look in your eyes—you're jealous, aren’t you? You say you hate me, but in reality, you want me for yourself, don’t you?” Zain insisted with a cheeky grin.
‘When did he?’ Before she knew it, he was standing directly in front of her, having walked up to Leila while she was deep in thought. In protest, she shouted back. "No, no, I am not! I’m not jealous of her. I don’t want you for myself!"
“The more you deny it, the cuter you get. Who knew the hero of light, the man who prided herself on being selfless with the noble mission of saving human lives, would have this side to her?" He teased her and suddenly picked her up. “For a ‘manly’ hero such as yourself, you surely are light.”
“Kayaaaah?!” Leila’s piercing scream radiated throughout the room. “Let me down. Don’t tease me.”
‘I… I screamed! A girly scream.’ Leila covered her mouth with one hand to muffle any further screams, and her face turned red in embarrassment and humiliation.
It was foreign to her—the voice she had just let out. She knew it was hers, yet she wished to her core that it wasn’t. Despite her embarrassment, Zain swung her body over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry as he approached the bed, where he laid her down on her back.
‘She’s starting to believe herself to be a girl. This was the greatest change in her.’ Zain thought and said, “Stay here until I’m back. We’ll begin the real fun soon.”
At the sight he saw, Leila covered her mouth with her hand, and as her cheeks were flushed bright red, she put a bright smile on his face. ‘So cute.’ Leaving her on the bed alone, he entered the bathroom.
…
When Leila regained her calm, she found herself on Zain’s bed, her clothes still on, seemingly untouched. However, when she tried to roll to the side or move, she couldn’t. "Fuck, he did it again. Commanding me. Where did he go?”
“I’m right here. Did you miss me?” He walked out of the bathroom, stripped of all his clothes. Lowering her eyes, she saw Zain’s already erect penis, which was covered with a protective sheath. He got onto the bed, crawling on top of Leila. “Shall we begin? I did keep my promise; it’s not direct.”
Leila sighed, “Fine. I accept. Just don’t be too rough. It’s my first time.”
She absolutely disliked this, and if she was given the choice to reject having sex, she would take it without a doubt. But Zain wasn’t someone who would give up such a chance as this. His willingness to put a protective sheath over his rod was all the leniency he would give. Any more than that would be asking for too much. Also, doing it now was best; otherwise, he might add more unfavorable conditions the next time.
In the end, she knew this was bound to happen eventually. The more she delayed it, the worse it would be for her when it did indeed happen.
“Too bad, your body has already lost its virginity. It was necessary, but it’s truly unfortunate. You would’ve felt greater pleasure than today. Though this will be enough to suffice.” He leaned in closely. “Relax and let me take the lead.”
His lips were suddenly before her, and he pressed them against hers. From the kiss alone, she let out her first moan—the kiss feeling different from the ones he gave before. “Mm…”
As his tongue slipped into the mouth of Leila, Zain moved his hands to carefully remove her clothing, starting from the top. Once the top buttons of her nightgown were unbuttoned, he moved his kisses slowly down from her neck as he traced his fingers along her soft skin, sending shivers down Leila’s spine.
Unlike how he acted at times towards Leila, he was very gentle, not rushing any of his movements. When the top half of her nightgown and bra were removed, leaving only her lower half covered, Zain’s kisses had arrived at their first destination: her breasts.
‘Why is he almost like a different person when in bed?' Leila wondered as Zain’s lips clamped onto it.
“Ahh…”