LIGHTNOVELONLINE 13. Feral State
Anguish, despair, and dread—those were three of the many emotions that were flowing through Leila at this moment.
She felt Anger because Zain didn’t take into account her feelings and what she truly wanted. Despair, because of how helpless she felt whenever she faced him and her inability to resist him. And lastly, dread—the fear that sprouted in her of what would come of her if he made her change into someone else.
Falling in love with him and allowing him to do as he desired with her was something she couldn’t imagine herself doing. But at the rate things were going, she wasn’t sure if she could resist him until the very end. If it was months, maybe years, she was confident, but what if it was dozens of years or centuries? Would she be confident enough to resist him after such a long time had passed?
Could she stop the changes that were inevitable? The changes to her mind, her beliefs, and her morality. Would they remain the same when confronted with the abnormality called Zain for so long?
No, there was simply no way for her to believe she could remain the same or feel inclined to resist him for that long. By then, if she hadn’t already fallen deeply in love with him and accepted her position as his lover, she would be close, and it wouldn’t take long for her to fully change.
As someone who was bestowed the title of hero, her will was strong to the point where it was incomparable to others, a gift from the goddess of light in order to not falter amidst a battle filled with countless hardships. It could be twisted and turned millions of times, but it wouldn’t break. Even so, her will wasn’t invincible; if it was twisted and turned too much, she would eventually break.
This was proven by the fact that her mind was easily broken when the lust contained in her demon crest became too much for her to bear. At that time, her thoughts were also jumbled from everything she'd been going through since her life had been flipped on its side suddenly without any prior warning.
Leila’s hands slowly fell to her side, trembling as blood dripped down to the floor. She did not speak a word, nor did she make a sound as her fists clenched tighter amidst her torrent of emotions. Leila might be a demon in body and appearance, but in her opinion, Zain was the true embodiment of a demon more so than anyone else.
"He’s an enigma, someone who can’t be understood by common sense."
At times, he showed compassion for her and deeply cared for her, but at other times, his desires took over and he ignored her feelings, which fit a demon's character so well. Leila knew she was good at understanding one’s character even if they hadn’t known each other for that long, but Zain was someone she could never fully understand.
Whenever she tried asking for his reason behind switching their bodies, he would ignore her question entirely, choosing to tease and embarrass her as if that were a form of amusement for him. Not to mention the misguided passion and affection he had for her when they had never met before.
Was it love at first sight? Did he come all this way in order to kill the hero before they grew too strong, only to fall in love with the hero at first, choosing to body-swap with her and make her into his slave instead? No. There was no way that could be possible. She could only assume his intent was never to kill her from the start. But how he had such affection for her, or why, were the things she couldn’t figure out.
"For now, that is. I have a feeling I’ll learn eventually, though the question still stands if it’s something I truly want to know or not."
Through falling into deep contemplation, she slowly calmed down, with her rampaging sea of emotions flowing through her, returning to a still sea without a single ripple across its surface. As her breathing became small, gentle breaths, she lifted the sheet of paper that had remained in her hand.
The sheet of paper wasn’t torn in the slightest, but it was wrinkled and had dried blood stains in some places. She once again read the words that were written on the sheet of paper.
[I’ve left for today’s classes and have reported to the professor your absence in your stead. Besides that, I’ve asked that you be moved to my dorm to live with me, so you aren’t so lonely anymore. When I return, we’ll begin our fun tonight!]
"Fun, huh?" She didn’t become angry at the sight of this. She was calm—too calm—as magical energy flared around her fist, turning the sheet of paper to ash. "The only fun I have is when I’m free from you."
She turned her attention to the small alarm clock sitting on the window seal not far from the table, basking in the warmth of the midday sunlight that breached through the massive dorm window.
[12:13 pm]
Zain was right; classes had started hours ago, and he should be in the combat class at the moment. Judging by the time, she determined she only had a little more than a few hours left before he would return and the ‘fun’ he spoke of was said to begin. During this time, Leila chose not to simply idle around and do nothing.
At the table, she brought over a chair and took a seat. Then she pulled out the book she received, which contained the information she needed about her demon crest. The moment her fingers touched the book, a strong tingling sensation set in her lower stomach and between her thighs, seemingly stronger than the last time after her evolution.
She ignored the sensations rising in her lower regions and opened the book, flipping to the page she had last left off. She glanced at the page with the four crests she’d read before but didn’t remain there for long, quickly turning her gaze to the next page, where another list of four crests was shown, eliciting a slight grimace in her expression.
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• Crest: Primal Demon Crest of Fragrancy
• Description: Naturally, as the owner of a demon crest, one possesses the physique and innate expertise for the art of seduction. To further heighten one’s seduction and attractiveness to a greater level, one’s natural aroma has gained special abilities, depending on one’s affinity and nature.
* Potential Abilities:
- Addictive Contentment
- Mental Illusion
- Mental Control
- Pleasure Stimulation
- Desire Augmentation
• Crest: Primal Demon Crest of Pleasure
• Description: In order to enhance the pleasure one and their partner feel amidst their sexual intimacy, one will only be able to orgasm after reaching the limit of pleasure and anticipation or when one’s partner releases their semen. During this time, arousal will continue to build up until one of the two conditions is met.
• Crest: Primal Demon Crest of Individuality
• Description: Every time one orgasms during sexual intimacy, a temporary change will occur in one’s mind and nature, making them into a new person, someone who’s submissive and loving towards their partner. As their minds shift, their arousal and compatibility drastically increase, giving them a greater experience.
• Crest: Primal Demon Crest of Receptacle
• Description: The longer one goes without receiving a man’s intimacy, the lower the percentage of one’s lust level will get, causing more drastic effects on the user such as fatigue and weakness until the percentage reaches zero. Once the percentage hits zero, the user will fall into a feral-like state until their hunger for lust is fully satisfied.
* Added Status Effect: [Lust Level]
* Bonus Effect: The more one falls into the feral state, the closer one’s nature changes to that of a Succubus.
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"Feral state, lust percentage." Leila voiced her thoughts. She wasn’t very surprised, considering the nature of a demon crest. Instead, a bitter smile adorned her face as she shuddered slightly at the thought.
‘The feral state would force me into a situation out of my control where my sexual instincts would have complete control over my every action.’
Her eyes turned dark after coming to a realization. If Zain was there when she fell into this feral state, she believed that he would satisfy her hunger by himself, as he would be happy with the situation she was placed in. But what if he wasn’t there to satiate her hunger? What if she was alone instead? Without a doubt, she knew she would target someone else.
That wasn’t all!
Of the countless abilities a Succubus gained as they grew in strength, the ability to feast off another’s lust and life force was among their strongest. Since Zain was the hero as well as a former Succubus, his life force was considerably greater compared to other humans. However, for a normal human, Leila feared that all their life force wouldn’t be enough to satiate her hunger.
In the end, they would fall victim to her berserk-like state, dying without her being able to do anything to prevent their deaths. Additionally, the bonus effect would bring her closer to being a Succubus.
An existence that she wouldn’t ever want to truly become, especially since she was once a hero. A being who preyed on the dreams and life force of others simply for her desires and endless ecstasy.
She couldn’t allow herself to fall even more than she already had.