The hero is now gone, but I’m still here, now what? (Undergoing editing)

Have I said it before that I genuinely appreciated the fact that there's an extra 30 minutes of free time after Lunch? Because I do, and really, it's great that the school gives us students time to digest our food before heading back to our classes.

 

Or in my case, extra time to learn about how to manage territories or some such through my friends, or at least two of them since everyone else decided that they wanted to do quick warm-ups before combat class and let us be when I said that I'm going to study with Karsten and Prescine.

 

Right now, only those two were around to teach me stuff and I found their company pretty comforting, with Prescine having this stern lecturer vibe and Karsten gave off this feeling of just being patient.

 

It's pretty nice, if I do say so myself.

 

Also, speaking of Karsten, she was surprisingly adapting well to the whole situation and didn't seem to mind Prescine's presence by a single bit, she didn't look uncomfortable as she skimmed through the economy book we borrowed from the library and I'll even go as far and say that she was in her natural environment right now, that's how at ease she looked.

 

The white haired girl stopped flipping through the pages, “okay, so, I think I found the part we were looking for,”

 

“Oh, you did?” Prescine stopped reading the report her subordinate had given her in the hallway earlier and looked over to Karsten's book, her eyes moved from left to right as she scanned the page before nodding, “you're right,”

 

The page the two were talking about was related to financial management and the math equation often used to measure how much income a noble can get per acre of territory they owned/rented out.

 

I took a peek of the page and was overwhelmed by all the numbers I saw, “is that… the equation?”

 

“It is an example of the finished equation yes,” Karsten pointed to the bottom of the page where the final result was on. A quick read through later and I learned that someone can earn over 3,000 CC worth of taxes if they own 500 Acres of land which… I honestly didn't get, what was I reading?

 

“Don't mind that,” Prescine covered the equation, “I know you're confused about the entire thing and it's because the result is an extreme hypothetical, in most cases, the equation just measures the “potential” earnings one can get from taxes using a finite amount of land which again, is an extreme hypothetical, taxes varies from territory to territory, even if they have the same size.”

 

Prescine followed her very confusing explanation with a laugh as if what she just said made perfect sense- well, Karsten looked like she understood what was said judging by how she was nodding, - and added, “but you'll still learn it since it's going to be a part of your… hm… second quarter finals? Yeah, that.”

 

She giggled and said the usual joke that I've heard senior students make over and over again, both from movies, my past life, and now, this one, “Goddess knows me and my classmates went on all nighters just to learn how to do this thing!”

 

“Uhuh…” I said while wondering if I should run away or not- fear of an asylum escapee is a valid reason to run for the hills and get help right?

 

Prescine waved me off, “don't be like that! I'm sure you'd learn how to do this soon enough!”

 

Karsten to the left of her nodded, “with how smart you are-” yeah I heavily doubt that, I just had the advantage of having the mind of a preteen as a baby, “- I'm sure you'd learn how to do this equation faster than any of our classmates,”

 

“Okay- first off,” I started, “I'm not good at this whole leadership thing so don't get your hopes up,” they both nodded but wore expressions that said they didn't believe me so I stomped my foot down- metaphorically speaking, I didn't want the librarian to come down on us, “I'm serious, I'm good at fighting, not politics- I'm a Pledge Bearer first and foremost, my title as princess comes a far second, and then after that would be… everything else-”

 

“Okay, I'm trailing off,” I cleared up, “don't expect me to do anything great with all this because I'm as normal as everyone else when it comes to politics,”

 

Prescine smiled, “I understand,” I stared at her and tried to find faults or some trick to her words but no, she was being genuine. Also, why does she look so mature so suddenly?

 

She leaned forward, “what do you want to do then, Neophyte?”

 

“What do you mean?” I returned her question.

 

“What do you want to do, is what I'm asking, do you want to be- is maybe a better question, do you want to be a princess, or a pledge bearer?”

 

“Or both.” Karsten supplied.

 

“Or both.” Prescine chorused.

 

“... the third option?” I answered, is that even a question?

 

“Then make sure that you succeed,” Prescine held my hand in encouragement, “what you were saying just now will just hold you back, so what if you aren't good? Is everyone?” She looked around the empty, barely lit school library, “no one starts amazing at a particular skill, that's why we sit down, be patient, and learn how do it,”

 

“She's right,” our source of light nodded, hair glowing all the while, “Goddess knows I wasn't born with everything I know,”

 

Prescine grinned, “see?” She said, “and you're already so prodigious as a pledge bearer,” I held my breath, was- did she know? “So how about you learn in the same way as the rest of us in how to be a proper leader? You already had a head start as a Slayer right? Now… it's time to- be normal, be just like us, walk alongside us,”

 

“I-”

 

Prescine's grip tightened, “your responsibilities as a Slayer can wait- right now you're a princess, not a weapon of war.”

 

I sighed- “fine,” I shook my head, “you two are so annoying.”

 

“Well, I'm glad my words got to you!” Prescine let go of my hand and lightly clapped, “now, to start, this equation is absolutely useless,”

 

Karsten flipped the page, “agreed,” she chimed, “taxes are measured by shops, schools, districts, brothels-” Karsten's blush was more obvious thanks to the fact that our source of light was literally her hair- HAH! Couldn't be me, I'm hiding here in the dark with my own blush thank you.

 

“… and the like, anything and everything that a person can earn money in, that is what earns you taxes,” Karsten finished, her blush turning crimson.

 

Prescine cleared her throat, “yes, that.”

 

I only smiled in response.

 

…

 

“What do I want?” My voice turned even softer thanks to my ragged breathing.

 

Ok- Prescine and Karsten's words got to me- it was something that I'd never admit but for a while now, I've been thinking nothing about what I want and it's… starting to confuse me, I mean, I want to fix my mistakes, I want to do everything in my power to turn this world into a better place, I- I want so many things I know that but-

 

Why can’t I think of anything when I ask myself that question?

 

It’s all- fix my mistake this and save Lucille that and- and- I don’t know-

 

Have I been running on nothing other than guilt and spite this whole time?

 

I… can do a lot of things- sure, but what have I been doing these past few years?

 

“Helping people,” Karsten’s voice echoed inside my head.

 

Right. Helping people and training-

 

“Right now you’re a princess, not a weapon of war.” Now it’s Prescine's voice this time around…

 

I chuckled and stopped running, “man, they really left an impression huh?” Despite my entire class exercising in front of me, I found myself focusing on a single person as she huffed and pushed herself to continue squatting even though her entire body was shaking from exertion.

 

Prescine wasn’t here at the moment so Karsten took every ounce of focus I had and looking at her this way I realized that… she’s really great isn’t she?

 

I snapped my gaze away from her and looked at everyone else- who, unlike me, were born… destined really, to be great figures in the future, the original Neophyte would’ve been like this as well but me? I’m- I’m just a girl, no one special, really, it’s only thanks to my ingame knowledge that I got to where I am today and if I didn’t have it then I’d… just be a failure, won’t I?

 

“What are you thinking about? You looked lost in thought,” I slowly faced the person talking to me and when I saw who it was, my lips quirked into a small smile, I didn't know what to do despite that though because the one who asked was the Heroine who has been part of my chaotic thoughts all this time.

 

And Lucille stood there, eyeing me curiously but from the way she looked at me unconfidently, I can tell that she pushed herself out of her comfort zone just to talk to me.

 

Her bravery should be rewarded, I think, even if my personal opinion is that I shouldn't talk to her, “that everyone is so great,” I started, pointing at our class as I calmed my breathing down, I was done with the exercise that Instructor Quoketh gave me so I should be fine to just stand around and talk.

 

I faced Lucille again, “I don’t- I know some people say that it’s opportunity that got them to where they are and it does have some truth to it,”

 

… what am I trying to say here? I don’t know so I let my tongue do all the work and just went on autopilot, “most of us had the luck to be born into rich families,” I looked up at the sky, what do I want to say? That’s a better question isn’t it? “And I feel like- I feel that can be a factor but I think perseverance is also something that everyone has,”

 

“Thank you,” I jerked my head to Lucille, who was bowing for some reason, was this what she wanted to do from the start? Thank me? “If… if you weren’t there to help us every week, if you weren’t there to give us food, education, and- and everything else- I don’t think that I’d- we, Florists and Faunists would be in the same class as you,”

 

“Uhm…” I reflexively stepped back, this is bad isn’t it?

 

“Mistress is like that,” I snapped at Zath and gestured for her to stop-

 

She didn’t, “ever since we were young, she wanted to fix her mistake and don’t you think that she did a pretty good job at it?”

 

Lucille stopped bowing and the expression of pure joy that I saw etched on her face- I-

 

It caused me to freeze-

 

“Yep!” Her smile didn’t waver, she was being genuine- “I admire her you know?” She rubbed the back of her head, “ever since I saw the princess, someone my age, do everything I couldn't, she had always been so great- that's the kind of person Neophyte is to me,”

 

I chuckled bitterly- oh, so we’re admitting things now? Fine- “I’m a failure,”

 

“You’re not.” Lucille quickly denied, she stepped forward and I took a step back and failed- Zath was behind me wasn’t she? “You’re amazing, I feel,” she said, “and- I think that- you're great, the best, really,” she grinned, “I don't know where I would be without you,”

 

What was going on? Why was she suddenly like this? Did Zath plan this?

 

You’re wrong- I wanted to say to her, Lucille moved away from me and turned to our class, “and… you’re right, everyone… was born with resources- and because of that everyone is so great, but I think, among all of us, amidst all of- all of these prodigies, a single person stands out,”

 

Lucille turned back to me, “and that’s you,”

 

“I-I’m not-”

 

The Hero shook her head, “if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here,” she said, “I wouldn’t have known anything, I would just be another stupid girl from the Flora territory who gets drafted as an infantry because she wasn't educated enough but thanks to you? Thanks to all the books you gave me? I…” she smiled, “-am here, with you, and I want to thank you for that,”

 

I took a step back and found no resistance, since when had Zath left?..

 

I faced Lucille again and she just kept talking-

 

“I’ve been feeling inadequate since last night,” she started, “and I’m not sure if I can continue like this-”

 

“You can.” I cut her off, surprised by what I just did, “you can continue like this, you’re great- you have potential-”

 

“And so do you,” she smiled, “your potential is even better than mine no?”

 

I reluctantly nodded, I would be lying if I didn’t and I feel like doing that now- that for some reason, disagreeing with Lucille now is a bad idea, “yes…” I responded softly, “but that’s because of the opportunity that I got, I was born… a princess and all of the resources that come with it so I… am the way I am.”

 

“Thank you for sharing some of the things you have with me then,” she bowed again, “and… if possible, can you do it more?”

 

I looked at her in suspicion, “who- did someone put you up to this?” I turned to where everyone else was and searched for Zath, I swear if she-

 

“No.” I looked at Lucille, her face was serious, “I’ve been thinking, since last night, that if I want to be stronger, I need to be more proactive, be more confident, take risks and I think that this is the first one, I know that the chances of you accepting to train a simple village girl like me are low but-” she met my eyes, “- will you teach me how to fight?”

 

I stared blankly at her, I’m not sure if I can do something like this- no, what if saying no now does something wrong? “Can I ask why you want me of all people to teach you?”

 

“Well…” she scratched the back of her head, “uhm, I mainly chose you because you’re strong but- but- I know that you worked hard for that sort of thing and I will too-” I smiled as she stuttered out her answer and paused, Lucille then slapped her cheeks, “okay- sorry, what I mean is that, you’re strong so I want to be like you… and also that I copied your fighting style in the first place so-”

 

“Fine,” I shook my head- I’ll put her off for as long as I can, ask Laceresta to teach her first while I try to… to… do something, I guess- “is it fine if I get Laceresta to occasionally teach you as well?”

 

“I think so,” Lucille replied while eyeing the Lioness in question, “she’s a good fighter so I’ll definitely learn a lot from her but I want you to be my main teacher,”

 

“I know,” I smiled, “I know.” I repeated, my words sounded so hollow to my ears, “I’ll do my best,”

 

“Really?! - wait no, you already accepted-” she shook her head before dashing forward and hugging me, “oof- you’re like a wall!”

 

“I’ll… take that as a compliment instead of thinking that you’re calling me fat,” I rubbed Lucille’s head.

 

We broke the hug moments later and the Hero grinned while jumping in place, “I’m glad that you accepted honestly!” Her grin turned somber, “and… thank you still, what I said back then were all true, I don’t know why you tried to deny everything but I was being genuine,”

 

“I… was being humble,” I lied, “you shouldn’t mind it,”

 

“That’s what I was thinking!” Lucille snapped her fingers, “you really are great!”

 

I chuckled nervously, but I felt glad that she was acting like how I did back when I was fangirling like an idiot when I met my favorite voice actor when I went to Pixel Con back when I was 12.

 

Guess some things stay the same no matter what world you’re in huh?