The hero is now gone, but I’m still here, now what? (Undergoing editing)

The tinkling of chimes, the thud of drums, and the melody of a flute all blended together to form the elevator music that I am hearing at this exact moment, and it was beautiful, it was well composed, it was…

 

The music was a lot of things and I can give it so many compliments but all of them washed away when I realized that all I felt about hearing the sound was nothing but irritation.

 

The music was meant to be soothing to the ears but I couldn’t really understand why, right now all I'm hearing is noise and I don’t know for how much longer I can keep listening to it without breaking down and slashing everything around me.

 

And as if it was listening to my thoughts, the elevator doors opened and the aching irritation eating away at the top of my head disappeared when I saw the person standing in the lobby outside my suite, my eyes widened and I was about to rush forward and press a button to go to another floor but she noticed me seconds before I even moved.

 

“Neophyte?” Prescine looked at me in concern, she stepped forward and that single action- such a tiny movement was enough to get me to freeze up, and the effects her words had on me were even worse. I wanted to go anywhere but here-

 

Her right hand reached out- “your eyes-”

 

“I know,” I bit out, cutting her off.

 

I didn't want to hear or continue anything related to what she was going to say or pick that particular topic for a conversation after what happened with Adamantite.

 

I want to save it for a rainy day, or possibly never talk about it to anyone if I can help it.

 

To wave off her concern, I wiped my cheeks with my napkin before stopping just below my eyes, I started caressing the napkin with my thumb, prodding and feeling the puffy skin beneath the fabric before pressing my index finger against it.

 

The small bite of pain that followed got me to stop prodding any further, “I know they’re baggy, I woke up early this morning so…”

 

And, as if she believed my words- she definitely didn't but the space she was giving me was well appreciated, - Prescine only nodded before throwing out a caring smile, “okay, I understand,”

 

“Thanks,” I replied, mustering my own smile as I walked forward and hugged her, I felt heat start to form at the bottom of my eyes and pressed my face against her shoulders, if the president felt her clothing getting wet from my tears, she didn't say it out loud. I hugged her tighter, “thank you, really.”

 

“You’re welcome,” I flinched when she tapped my back before relaxing as her hand proceeded to rub it, it was a welcome feeling and yet at the same time, it made me feel angry for being reminded of Adamantite's own attempts at comforting me, I held her tighter, Prescine didn't react, or even let anything show on her voice.

 

“If you want to talk, I’m here for you okay?” Her words held a lot of meaning but her tone stayed calm and collected. Caring.

 

I nodded while letting out a shaky breath- I wanted to cry more- I shouldn’t- I’ll just ruin Prescine’s uniform even more and I don’t want to do it since she’s wearing her iconic emerald green colors and it's just-

 

Goddess-

 

I didn't want to-

 

It's such an important step in our relationship but-

 

But-

 

Would she be here if- if I-

 

I hugged her tightly.

 

I hugged her even tighter as I thought about my elder brother-

 

It would’ve been fine if he didn’t worry about me- if he continued shouting at me as I broke down but- he- he didn’t- and I can’t believe that I’m hating him for it- hating him for trying to help- while hugging the person who- if it wasn’t for me- would’ve been together with him-

 

I heard a distant whine of discomfort before air suddenly left my lungs and I realized that Prescine was trying to break the hug- I started weeping- whined and wheezed- again- I didn't know that my lungs could store this much air-

 

Prescine stopped struggling.

 

“You’re shaking.”

 

“I-” I wanted to cry, wanted to weep- wail my heart out- but I didn't want to so all I could say was- “I’m sorry,” I broke the hug and pushed Prescine away, I couldn’t even look her in the eyes right now.

 

I’m such a piece of shit… “I really am-”

 

“What are you talking about?” She leaned her face closer until her breath touched my cheek, it was hot, warm and I found out that I was enjoying the comfort and sense of clarity that our proximity was giving me way too much. “Neophyte?”

 

Prescine met my eyes and I stared deep into her emerald green gaze, it was so full of warmth and caring and she was so close that I- I-

 

“I’m no-” I bit back the words I was going to say, the words trying to flow out of my mouth out of guilt-

 

“I’m fine,” I smiled and shook my head, “I’m sorry about what happened just now,” I said as I moved past her- the butterflies are going to happen no matter what and Prescine being like this is part of that, I can’t let it get to me. I should- I need to fix my mistakes but- not- I shouldn't let it get to me enough that I start admitting what I really am.

 

I turned to the student council president before gesturing to the door of my suite, “wanna come in?”

 

As if forgetting everything that had just happened between the two of us- and why do I feel longing from that kind of thought? Why do I hate how she just ignored everything without signs of resistance? - she smiled and bowed, “why, I would love to,”

 

Prescine followed me deeper into the lobby and as we walked, I thought about asking the older girl to teach me politics, and the closer we got to the door, the more words I considered in my speech.

 

I wanted her to teach me to be a better leader, about being a proper princess, it got to the point that when we were just a meter or so away from the door, my thoughts were spiraling out of control…

 

.. and all of them stopped when a hand dropped itself on top of my shoulder, I turned to her reflexively before becoming aware of the fact that my expression was stuck in a state of being shocked-

 

“Neophyte?”

 

I sucked in a deep breath- you know what?

 

“Can you teach me about politics?” I decided to be blunt- and it’s not like I can help but be that way since everything I wanted to say, the speech I had been preparing, all the words- all of that somehow just melted away when Prescine mentioned my name.

 

I looked away.

 

My eyes snapped shut- be brave. It's fine.

 

I slowly faced her and when my head tilted enough to see her face- I saw a smile, warm and welcoming, completely the opposite of the scowl I was expecting her to give me, “I would love to,”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome,”

My smile was upbeat and cheery as I led the president to my suite and when I opened the door, my… confrontation with my brother got pushed to the back of my mind. I know I probably shouldn’t ignore it but for now, I will.

 

Everything is going to be fine after all.

 

Right?

 

I twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open, I walked in and greeted everyone while scanning the room, noting that Laceresta was done dressing up and we were now ready to go, my eyes stopped on the couch that Zath and Fafnir were on, with my Dragon idly staring at the ceiling and my maid diligently glaring at her notebook.

 

I knocked on the door, grabbing everyone's attention, “are we ready to go?”

 

“Uh, yeah?” Laceresta questioningly replied, all the while staring me down, her eyes narrowed, “are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,”

 

“Are you sure?” The reassuring smile that I sent Fafnir’s way didn’t do anything to change her concerned expression, “... Neophyte-”

 

“I said I’m fine,” I quickly repeated, “trust me when I say that, please?”

 

Zath stood up, “we will,” she said as she stuffed her notebook in one of the pockets of her maid’s outfit, she met my eyes, “you’ll tell us if you have any problems, right?”

 

“I will,” I nodded.

 

She nodded back and started walking, then quickly stopped, closed her eyes and said- “I trust you, please don't break it. Tell us if you have actual problems alright?”

 

“I… won't-” how many secrets am I keeping from them at this point? - I thought in self reflection. And how many more do I need to keep-

 

No. No. I shouldn't-

 

“I promise.” I replied honestly.

 

“Soooooo- uh, you mentioned yesterday that you like the colors that I regularly choose for my dress,” Prescine started as everyone else got ready to move out.

 

I turned to her, confused, “I did?” I thought I never said anything related to that out loud?

 

Wait… is there anyone in the school thinking that I'm attracted to Prescine now?

 

I shook my head- nope- Adamantite should stay at the back of my head, I'm not willing to entertain that line of thought.

 

“Yep! During lunch remember?” She replied.

 

“I guess I did,” I murmured before focusing back on her, or rather, the dress she had on her person, “it does look good,” I complimented.

 

And it didn't just look good, the colors she was wearing were also the ones that I was used to seeing and I didn’t think that she had ulterior motives in talking to me while wearing it so her going back to her regular colors is definitely a plus in my book, “I think it fits you better honestly,”

 

“It does, doesn’t it?” Prescine giggled, she sighed, “and… I'm also sorry about yesterday,”

 

“Hm?” I hummed as we all filed out of the suite.

 

“You probably caught on right?” Prescine further added, what is she talking about?..

 

Oh.

 

“Yeah,” I confirmed, “but not when I saw it the first time, I thought you were just wearing the standard clothes for leaders so I didn’t see any problems with you wearing my colors,”

 

She giggled again as we went inside the elevator.

 

“Really?” Prescine pressed the button for the bottom floor while pushing a stray strand of hair to the back of her ear, “I never would’ve… reacted like that, to be honest, I’d see someone wearing the same colors on their uniform as me and immediately be offended that they’re using my family’s colors,”

 

“Everyone thinks differently,” I replied easily while also considering that someone wearing her colors would be more obvious than if people did it with mine since the colors of Prescine's uniform are kind of specific, “and I get it, I’d be mad if I see someone else using my family’s colors without our permission as well,”

 

“Well… uh, it’s not- I’m only going to be offended- not mad- but- it’s not because of what you think?” Prescine stuttered, losing a lot of her confidence, “I’d get mad because these colors mean something to me, not because they’re an important part of my family,”

 

I laughed lightly to diffuse the awkward atmosphere, “really?”

 

“Yeah,” Prescine nodded, mirroring my bitter smile, “I… my parents- these colors are present all across Exube,” she pulled on the hem of her mini-skirt, “so it’s not really- they're not that important when it comes to the Kingdom overall but my parents they… value our culture and everything that comes with it and since a young age, I’ve been… uhm-”

 

She laughed awkwardly, “this’ll sound weird but I’ve been given tours by my parents across our Kingdom, and they showed me all the things that… make it work, I guess?”

 

“I don’t think that’s strange,” Laceresta replied, “my father values strength so that’s what he’s been teaching me ever since I was a kid, if a parent values something, then teaching their kids about them is natural no?”

 

“I  guess?..” Prescine trailed off, “but training wasn’t exactly the point though- I went around the Kingdom so that I can see-”

 

“You were getting trained, training doesn’t have to be physical stuff.”

 

“I think, what Laceresta is trying to say,” Fafnir joined in, “is that you were being taught the value of your culture and your Kingdom as a whole, which I suppose is the same as training in a certain sense,”

 

“That.” Laceresta nodded, “what she said, you were being taught how to love your Kingdom because you’re a princess,”

 

“Is that- what’s the point?” Prescine asked.

“So that you can be more genuine about being a leader, maybe?” I hummed, “I think letting you see just how beautiful and nice the Kingdom of Exube really is would do that pretty well,”

 

“Yeah but I would have been a leader regardless?”

 

I laughed, “yeah, I agree-”

 

I met Prescine’s eyes, I don’t know how she would have turned out if her parents hadn’t taken her on the tours that she went on when she was young but I’m pretty sure that with the way she acts, I’m a hundred percent sure that Prescine would’ve been a great leader no matter what.

 

That or she turns into a spoiled brat who only knows how to follow idiots around like a headless chicken but I’m sure that she won’t be like that.

 

My laughter died down into a grin, “- I’m sure that you would have been an amazing person even if you didn’t have a set of ideals you looked up to,”

 

Prescine nodded before turning away, “I’m sure…”

 

The elevator ride after that was nothing but silence and seeing as everyone took the time to do their own little things- with Zath opening up her notebook again, Laceresta conversing to Fafnir about something related to training, and Prescine and me just standing there, doing nothing.

 

Well… I was actually doing something- mostly eyeing the president’s clothes since I felt like this was the perfect opportunity to do it.

 

Personally, I liked the way she wore a bright green cardigan on top of a dark green undershirt and thought that it fit her better than the waistcoat that usually comes with my uniform.

 

Below was a glossy emerald green skirt that blended with everything gorgeously. The skirt was also short enough that a large portion of her thighs would have been visible if she hadn't worn a pair of pants under it, which separated from her theme by a little bit given that they were yellow instead of green.

 

Which… I guess the pants being yellow did compliment the dark brown boots she was wearing.

 

It's kind of neat and I didn’t know which part of her culture the colors represented but I’m sure that if I jog my memory I’d find it. Exube had a lot of things written about their culture when it comes to ingame lore after all…

 

Ugh. Now I wish I paid more attention to that kind of thing, then maybe I would’ve found some common ground with Prescine.

 

You know what- I should just ask about it, “hey,” the president turned to me, “uh, what do the colors mean?”

 

She smiled and pointed to the top of her shirt, the bright green cardigan further highlighted by the blue morning light that was pouring through the glass wall behind us, “it really isn’t about color but this means prosperity and protection from the elements,” I nodded along, “my shirt means good health,” her finger went and pointed to her pants and boots, “while these represent the highs and lows of life respectively and to push forward despite that,”

 

“It’s… a whole lot more than I thought,” I murmured in reply, did the game have this much on Exube’s colors- of all things, - back in the game or was this a wholly original thing like Prescine's backstory of being taken on tours when she was young?

 

“Eh, it’s nothing much,” Prescine wore a wry smile, “it’s something that my people made because they lived near a magical forest,” she hummed, looked up in thought, and while tapping her foot, moved her eye to give me a side glance, “what about you? You picked your colors right?”

 

“Yeah…” I looked down at my uniform, “my colors don’t mean- doesn’t really mean anything important, just the good and the bad?” I felt a bit unconfident about saying the next part because thinking it through, what I was about to say felt a bit edgy, and maybe it was- on account that I thought about them as an 8 year old…

 

“Uhm… well, when I was young I thought that- uhm…”

 

“Just say it!”

 

I glared at Laceresta, “you were listening?!”

 

“We’re in an elevator! It’s hard not to!” She bit back.

 

“Well-” I huffed and crossed my arms, hoping that looking a bit prideful would stave off some of the embarrassment, “- fine! When I was young I thought that I wanted colors that will help me showcase everything when I finally fixed my mistakes so I went ahead and chose black and white,”

 

“Good and bad?” Fafnir asked.

 

I nodded, "yeah, and how much color I show depends on the amount of mistakes I've fixed, if I think that I've fixed everything, I'll be wearing all white, if I somehow make things worse, then all black.”

 

“Hm.” Prescine pursed her lips at my explanation, “it’s a good concept,” she grinned- which just made me want to wince, it felt like she was making fun of me or something. “And I’m glad that your uniform has more white than black right now,” She went closer to hug me, “I can’t wait to see it go pure white.”

 

“I…” I was speechless, so I hugged her back- what kind of reaction even is that? I thought she'd start saying that the entire thing was weird!

 

“I’ll do my best.”

 

She broke the hug and gave me a winning grin, “you better!”