Volume 2 – Chapter 76 – Before Revelation
As I followed mom I was filled with both curiosity and anxiety. Mom was eerily calm. It was almost like my outburst from before didn’t matter at all.
Like I would just accept this entire situation without batting an eye.
Mom said that Takashi was in Rina’s room playing games with her, with the door opened, so there was no risk of them walking in on us while we have our little heart-to-heart.
After we arrived at her room she opened her closet and, to my surprise, took a part of the floor up.
Her closet had a hidden compartment.
Inside of that compartment was only a simple box. She opened it and inside of the box were a few papers with what appeared to be letters and physical photos.
She took one of the photos at random and looked at me. For a moment I was able to see a shadow of disgust on her face, but almost immediately disappeared being replaced by regret as she sighed in resignation.
‘What is in that photo?’
“Mom,” I ask hesitantly, a little afraid of what might be in that picture “what is all of this?”
“A reminder of my old life.” she said, not even turning in my direction “It helps me remember what I had to get away from. Of what I was keeping you two away from.”
She looked resigned, like she had accepted something that she didn’t want. In her voice, I could hear clear sorrow, like she was being reminded of something that she had lost a long time ago.
Slowly, she presented the photo she was holding to me. The image on it was facing downwards. If that was intentional or not I didn’t know.
“If you really want to know why I accepted your brother’s harem dream, then you simply will have to look at this picture. It won’t make you understand immediately, but it will make it easier for you to understand when I begin the explanation” she said.
Mom’s voice was resolute steady and firm. I could see in her face unwillingness. She didn’t want to do this, but she was willing to do it to help me understand.
Suddenly I found myself feeling afraid of that photo. Afraid of what might happen if I were to look at it. Afraid of the image that was on the other side.
“Or you can simply accept his dream and be part of it. Even if you try to resist, I have the feeling that you would just eventually succumb to him anyway. The choice is entirely up to you Anna. Whatever you decide, I will wholeheartedly accept it and the consequences”
...it irked me a little that she was so certain that I would accept Taka-chan like that, but I didn’t have the right to say anything. After last night, I lost a lot of credibility in regards to resisting his advances.
Still, I found myself conflicted with the idea of seeing that picture. I really wanted to know why mom simply accepted Taka-chan like that, but I started to get afraid of what might be in that photo in her hands.
“Ca-Can’t I think about it for a little bit more time?” I asked, feeling like I needed a little bit more time to think and calm down.
“No”
Her response had been decisive, with no room for argument.
“W-why?”
“Because if I don’t show them to you now, then I won’t manage to gather the courage later. This isn’t something that I can show to anyone easily, especially to one of my daughters, so I want to do this while I still can.”
I got overwhelmed by the resolve that she was showing to me. But despite that I also notice that the hand delivering the photo to me was shaking a little.
‘She really is nervous about this’
This was the first time I’d seen mom like this. She always seemed so secure of herself, so in control. Seeing her showing to me even a little bit of vulnerability was enough to make me question if seeing that picture was a good idea.
It might be something that I would regret seeing. I might regret not seeing it. There were endless possibilities of what might happen, but for me, there was only one course of action.
I had to see that picture.
Even if she had given me time to think, I would just have decided to see it anyway.
For as long as I could remember, my curiosity was something that always had gotten the better of me. It rarely fixated on something, but when it did it was impossible for me to let go until I satiated that ferocious beats.
I honestly believed that my curiosity was one of the reasons why I manage to have a high grade in school. Whenever something caught my interest, I study it until there was nothing else that I could learn about it.
This was the first time that I felt conflicted, divided in whether I should or shouldn’t follow my curiosity.
But whether or not it was a good idea, I knew that I had to look at that photo. If I didn’t, I would probably spend the rest of my life wondering what was in that picture.
‘Please, don’t be anything too bad’
I could only pray that it wouldn’t so bad as mom has described. That it wouldn’t be so shocking as she said. My instincts were telling me that it was foolish of me to hope for that, but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting it to be some kind of bad joke.
The situation that I was in.
Why did mom accept Takashi’s advances?
Why wasn’t she against him pursuing more women?
Why is she so accepting of his unseasonableness?
That photo wouldn’t answer those questions, but mom said that it would be the start for me to be able to understand her actions better.
With my heart pounding in my chest so hard that I was afraid that it might jump out of my throat, I took the picture of her hand and start to turn the image in my direction.
Each instant felt like an eternity. It was like a spell to slow time was cast on me, making each nanosecond last for infinitely longer. My mind was in such a whirlpool of thoughts and possibilities that I didn’t know what to think anymore.
And then finally, the image was in front of me.
...I had thought many things, but what was there wasn’t one of them.
As for how I felt when I first saw that picture...
...it was like my entire world had been shattered.